绝望写手（2021）

Hacks S01E07

Part 3 Aug. 6, 2022, 10:55 a.m.

and then turn on me, you know?
Hear, hear.
－说得好－祝你生日快乐，黛洁
So, happy birthday, DJ, and congrats on Trish's.
崔栩精品的事恭喜他们的东西都好可爱
They have some really cute stuff there.
－真窝心，谢谢你－不客气
So nice. Thank you.
- You're welcome. - Hear, hear. Cheers.
说得好，干杯‥
- Hear, hear... - Cheers.
I'm sorry, I'm...
抱歉，我‥
not very good at this kind of thing.
我不擅长这种事情
And...
在知名的喜剧演员面前更是紧张
especially nervous to do it
in front of a world-famous comedian, so...
I'll keep it brief.
我就长话短说
黛洁，我爱你，生日快乐
DJ, I love you. Happy birthday.
还真短
Very brief.
好了，换你，妈
Okay. You're up, Mom.
好酒沉瓮底
Saved the best for last.
生日快乐，黛洁
Happy birthday, DJ.
真的挺可怕的你不久就要跟我一样年纪
This is getting scary.
Pretty soon, you're gonna be the same age as me.
黛洁，我们不见得看法一致
You know, DJ, we haven't always seen eye to eye
我知道你总说我的职涯是我最宠的孩子
and I know that you like to say that actually my career
is my favorite child, but that's not true.
但事实并非如此
我对你们俩一视同仁
I like you both the same.
我最近常常在想过去的事
I've been thinking a lot about the past lately.
我很年轻就生了黛洁
I had DJ very young, so as a child
她小时候就陪我巡回演出
she always accompanied me on the road.
You know, always at my side.
总是在我身边
我知道有些人认为这样育儿不好
And I know some people didn't think that was a very good parenting choice
raising a toddler in comedy clubs.
让孩子在喜剧俱乐部里长大
但对于从小就失去父母的我来说
But for someone who lost their parents very young...
我愿意不计一切代价只为再跟他们相处久一点
I knew that I would've given anything to spend more time with them.
所以我当时认为你最好是待在我身边
So I thought it was best...
that you be with me.
不管这样是好是坏
For better or worse.
至少对我而言是好的
And for me, at least...
it was always better.
但现在你有艾丹在侧
But now you have Aidan by your side.
如果他对你的爱有我爱你的一半
And if he loves you half as much as I do
then he's a keeper.
那他值得你珍惜
Plus, he's got a great left hook.
再说，他的左勾拳很厉害
- Cheers. - Cheers.
－干杯‥ －谢谢你
Oh, and, as an engagement gift
另外为了庆祝你订婚
我愿出钱请我律师帮你拟订婚前协议书
I'm paying my lawyer to draw up your prenup.
真浪漫，谢了
So romantic. Thanks.
But we decided we're just gonna go ahead
但我们打算老派一点
and do the old-fashioned thing and get married, no prenup.
直接结婚，不签婚前协议书
Okay, honey. Leave the jokes to me.
亲爱的，玩笑我来开就好
这不是玩笑，我们不签
It's not a joke. We're not gonna get a prenup.
Oh, you are absolutely getting a prenup.
你们一定要签婚前协议书
How about when you get married, you can get yourself a prenup?
你结婚的话签不签随你但我们不会签
But we are not doing one.
没得商量，我是替你着想
This isn't up for discussion.
I'm doing what's best for you.
Okay, I am a grown-up, and you can't make me.
我是大人，你不能这样逼我
我不是这样教你的，别蠢了
I taught you better than this. Don't be stupid.
萝里说相信自己的感觉并不蠢
Laurie says it is not stupid
to trust my feelings, and right now, I...
－现在我‥ －她根本不是咨商心理师
She's not even a psychologist.
她只是社工
She's a social worker!
她自己成人痤疮都治不好是要怎么治你的人生
And if she can't figure out her adult acne
she certainly can't figure out your life.
I said don't Google her! That's what I said!
我不是说过别上网调查她吗？
You know, the sex tape, and the Scientology stint
性♥爱♥影片跟山达基职务
我都能忍♥受，但这花样？
I could handle, but this?
You know, you've really outdone yourself.
－你又超越自己了－算了，这真的很蠢
You know what? This is so stupid.
根本无所谓，花的不是你的钱
It doesn't even matter. It's not your money.
得了吧，你一生花的都是我的钱
Oh, please. Your whole life is my money.
我告诉你你只是眼红有人真心爱我
You know what?
You're just jealous because someone actually loves me.
我赌他撑不过两周
I give it two weeks. One, if he's smart.
聪明的话他一周就走
＂祝你生日快乐＂
Happy Birthday to you
＂祝你生日快乐＂
Happy Birthday to you
- Happy Birthday, dear DJ - Thanks a lot, Mom.
－＂祝你生日快乐，黛洁‥＂－真是谢了，妈
Who wants cake?
谁想吃蛋糕呢？
Hey, where are you?
你在哪里？
- I'm home. - Wait, what?
－我在家－什么？
我以为你去厕所还叫他们别收你的甜点
I... I thought you were in the bathroom.
I told them not to clear your dessert!
I know, I'm sorry.
抱歉，那场争执让我明白
That fight just made me realize that I gotta make it work with Luna.
我必须好好跟璐娜相处
我现在跟她在床上
I'm actually in her bed with her right now.
I forgive her. She forgives me.
我们互相原谅，往事不再计较
It's all water under the bridge.
我一直在想你应该跟黛博拉试试
And I've been thinking.
You should really go for it with Deborah.
也许能帮你厘清想法
Maybe it'll help you figure things out?
试什么试我吃完你的甜点就要回家
No, I'm not gonna go for it.
I'm gonna eat your dessert and go home.
Okay.
好吧，再见
Bye, girl.
好，再见
Okay, bye.
Ava?
艾娃
你可以跟黛洁谈谈吗？她心情很低落
Would you mind talking to DJ?
She's really upset.
－我？－对
- Me? - Yeah.
－当然行－好，她就在楼上
- Okay. Yeah, of course. - All right, she's upstairs.
- Okay. - Hey, thank you.
－好－谢谢你
Yeah.
这要六百美元
Shit's $600.
好喔
Okay.
God. She's such a bitch.
她真是个贱♥人♥ 你听到她说的了吗？
Did you hear her back there?
Who talks to their kid like that?
谁会跟子女这样讲话？
我完全能理解，但‥
I totally understand.
But...
我想她只是想保护你只是她的方法扭曲
I think she's just trying to protect you
in her own f**ked up way.
－我怎么觉得不是这样－也是
Well, it doesn't feel like it!
To... yeah.
也许她只是害怕
Maybe she's just, like, scared?
她不希望你有所损失
And she's...
just not wanting to see
anything taken away from you the way it was taken away from her?
不要重蹈她的覆辙
该死
F**k!
I just had this fantasy that she'd just see
我幻想着她会明白我的人生正顺遂
that things were going well for me, you know?
或许她会以我为傲，然后‥
And maybe be proud of me.
And things would...
I don't f**king know, be normal for once?
该怎么说，就正常一次也好
我懂你意思
I hear you.
That's totally fair.
你说的有道理
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry to dump all this on you.
抱歉我这样对你吐苦水
I don't mean to.
我不是故意的只是觉得她的事你会懂
I just feel like you get it when it comes to her.
我懂
Yeah, I do.
老实说我现在最亲近的人是你妈
Honestly, my closest relationship right now
is with your mom.
Right.
也对
我没跟上♥床♥对象以外的人如此亲近过，这代表‥
I've never been this close to someone
I'm not hooking up with, which means...
我只是亲密观坏掉了并不是真的迷上你妈
I just have a f**ked up sense of intimacy.
It's not that I'm actually attracted to your mom.
What?
什么？
没什么
That was nothing.
黛洁
DJ, it's, like, the most normal thing in the world
希望妈妈以自己为傲是很正常的事情
to want your mom to be proud of you, you know?
她会影响你的想法
And she can definitely get in your head.
但是‥
But...
I... I don't know. Maybe...
怎么说，或许‥
你不该再等着她以你为傲
stop waiting for her to be proud of you
而是该做些你会自豪的事
and start doing things that make you feel proud of yourself.
Yeah. Yep, that actually makes sense. Thank you.
对，你说的有道理，谢谢
- Can you drive us home? - Of course.
－你可以载我们回去吗？－当然
你怎么没戴我的耳环？