绝望写手（2021）

我不知道 但我知道你得避避风头
All I do know is you need to lay low for a while.
Yeah, I can't lay low. I need to work.
我不能避风头，我得工作
You know I send money to my parents, and I just bought a house.
你知道我得拿钱给爸妈 我还刚买♥♥了房♥子
I thought it was a townhouse.
我以为只是联排住♥宅♥
Yeah, well, it costs as much as a "house" house.
但跟普通房♥子一样贵
I hate to say this, but maybe you should consider selling it.
我不想泼你冷水 但你也许该考虑出♥售♥
I have. I can't immediately re-list it.
我考虑过了 但不能马上抛售，会赔很多钱
I'm gonna lose a shit-ton of money.
My realtor accidentally CC'd me on an e-mail
我房♥仲不小心寄副本给我 她说没帮我谈到好价格
where she said she got me a bad deal.
E-mail's tricky.
电邮好危险
This is probably just residual Catholic-guilt bullshit, but I...
我可能只是天主教愧疚感作祟
I can't help feeling that this is all punishment
都怪我在替洛可叔叔守灵时 乱让人指交
for getting fingered at my Uncle Rocco's wake.
Okay, great example of what I'm talking about, Ava.
好，我刚才说的就是这个，艾娃
I never need to know where you've been fingered.
我根本不用知道你在哪里指交过
You don't know where a woman gets fingered?
－你不知道女生怎么被指交吗？ －艾娃
Ava.
Please, I'm really trying here, okay?
拜托，我尽力了
I've called everybody, but...
我联♥系♥了所有人
I'm sorry. Nobody seems interested in helping you right now.
但很抱歉，目前没人想帮助你
Also, don't vape in here.
－别在这里抽电子烟，都是玻璃 －又不是‥
- It's not... - It's all glass.
Just vape outside. Wait one minute.
去外面抽，等我一下就好
This is so unfair.
太不公平了
Would a hug make you feel better?
抱一下会让你好过点吗？
I can't technically touch you without someone else present.
没有别人在现场的话 我其实不能碰你，之前开过会
We had a meeting about it, but...
Hi, dude.
你好，老兄
Hi.
你好？
你之前说重要客户来电时 务必要打断你
You told me to, like, interrupt you when more important clients call
and Deborah Vance is on the line
黛博拉凡斯在线上
and, like, she's not, like, as important.
她没那么重要
- So, I'm just, like... - Okay.
－所以跟你说一下 －好‥
- ...kinda giving you a heads-up. - Kayla, can you set her up
凯拉，你能招呼她一下吗？
somewhere comfortable, please?
Absolutely. Follow me, chica.
没问题，美女跟我走
We're right in the middle of something.
我们才谈到一半
Deborah, perfect timing.
黛博拉，你来得正好
How are you, my favorite client?
我最爱的客户，怎么了？
F**king Pentatonix?
该死的五声音阶乐团
Did you know about this, Jimmy?
你知道这件事吗，吉米？
Do I know the Pentatonix? Ye...
五声音阶乐团吗？
我知道，很爱他们
Yes, love 'em. I voted for 'em on "The Sing-Off."
清唱选秀节目我投他们一票
Marty wants to cut my dates.
马提想要砍我的表演
He blindsided me at lunch, the dick-less snake.
他午餐时无预警这么说
邪恶的无屌♥男
Oh, he says he needs to appeal to a younger crowd.
他说得取悦年轻的族群
You gotta do something about this, Jimmy.
你得处理一下，吉米
Okay, I will call Morty.
好，我会打给莫提
Marty!
是马提
Marty, yes. But, I have a pitch.
马提，好的
不过我有个提议
What if you hire a writer?
你聘一名写手如何？
I actually represent a very in-demand young woman.
我手上有一位抢手的年轻女性
She wrote for a hit show
她替大节目撰稿
nominated for an Emmy, almost.
几乎要得艾美奖提名了
Everybody is talking about her.
大家都在讨论她
I write my own material. I do not need a writer, I need a manager.
我的稿我自己写，不需要写手
我需要的是经纪人
Your father would've handled this.
你♥爸♥就会处理好这件事
He promised me you'd take care of me.
他答应过会照顾我
Don't make your dead father a liar, Jimmy.
别害你已故老爸变成骗子，吉米
So, that was Deborah Vance, and I have incredible news.
刚刚黛博拉凡斯打来
我有好消息分享
She is intrigued
她很有兴趣请你替她写笑话
by the idea of you writing jokes for her.
The QVC muumuu lady?
你说购物台花洋装女吗？
They're kaftans.
是卡佛坦长袍
Didn't she, like, burn her husband's house down?
她不是烧掉她老公的房♥子吗？
Yes.
对
- Yeah, no f**king way. - She's a legend.
－好，想都别想 －她是个传奇
She's one of the biggest earners at this company
她是我们公♥司♥最赚钱的艺人
and you just said you need to work.
你刚才说你需要工作
- So... - I do, but come on.
需要是需要，但是拜托
但我才不想写男人不放马桶盖 那种敲门双关笑话
I'm not gonna go write knock-knock jokes
about how men don't put the toilet seat down.
I'm not that desperate.
我没那么走投无路
Respectfully, as your manager
无意冒犯，身为你的经纪人
right now, you are that desperate.
你现在就是走投无路了
I know you think you've called everyone
你以为你打给所有人了
but I actually have a lot of friends who will help me
但我有很多愿意帮助我的朋友
so I guess I'll just handle this on my own.
我看这件事我自己处理就好
Ava, come on.
艾娃，拜托
- Girly, do you need validation? - Yeah.
－美女，需要开证明吗？ －需要
Oh, God.
天啊，那得花一点时间了
Crap, girl. That's gonna take me a minute.
- That's fine. Don't worry about it. - Bill, can you get Kelly to help me?
没关系，不用了
比尔，可以请凯莉来帮我吗？
Now you gotta find Another place to stay...
＂你得找个新地方＂
- What the hell? - Just go away
－什么？ －＂滚开＂
The way you lie is not okay...
＂你可不以这样说谎＂
Damien!
戴米恩，请你跑一趟电脑店
I need you to go to the computer store!
Oh, shit.
该死
Yeah, he's an actor.
对，他是演员 说在拍一些李察林克雷特的片
He says he's shooting some Richard Linklater movie
but I guess we won't know if that's true for, like, 20 years.
但二十年后才知道是否属实吧
Oh, my God. Hey, Taylor.
天啊，泰勒
Ava.
艾娃
- Hey. - How are you?
你好吗？ 好久不见
It's been forever. How's...
你的‥先生还好吗？
the husband?
- Mark? - Yeah.
－你说马克吗？ －对
He's my ex-husband now.
他现在是我前夫了
Oh, f**k... him, then. His loss, obviously.
该死，他倒霉
显然是他的损失
Thank you.
谢谢
- Hi. - Okay.
好的，艾娃，这是我妈
Ava, this is my mom.
We're actually just having lunch before she heads back to the airport.
我们在她搭机回家前午餐小聚
Oh, my God. Your mom?
天啊，她是你妈？
No, impossible.
不可能，她是你姐吧
Your sister. Look at that skin.
看那个皮肤 根本是拉雅公主了
Get this bitch on Raya! Oh, my God.
恭喜你，续订第二季了
So, congrats on season two. So cool.
好酷，你们在招募人才吗？
Are you guys hiring?
Oh, not even thinking about that yet.
还不敢想那么远呢
Really? 'Cause I heard you're taking meetings
我听说你见过人选 我很想与你共事
and I would love to work with you.
I mean, you know, obviously I've been going through a lot
如你所见，我最近很不顺
and I could really use a job.
真的需要一份工作
Ma'am, you're blocking the driveway to Tommy Hilfiger.
小姐
你挡住汤米席尔菲格的路了
Oh, no, that's...
那不是我‥我不开车，我没车
That's not mine. I don't drive. I don't have a car.
I saw you do it.
我亲眼看你挡住的 手上还拿着钥匙
You're holding the keys.
Ava, why don't we just talk next week, 'kay?
艾娃，我们下周再谈吧？
You know, I would love to
我很乐意，但你简讯电邮都不回
but you haven't really responded to any of my texts or e-mails
so I would just love to talk right now.
所以我很想现在谈
Okay, fine.
那好吧
Ava, I can't hire you. Okay?
艾娃，我不能雇用你
抱歉，我得保护节目
I'm sorry, but I have to protect the show.
- I'm just gonna get that. - No, I got it. I'm going.
我帮你移车
不用了，我要走了
So, I make one stupid joke, and everyone just turns on me?
我不过开了个蠢玩笑 大家就这样背弃我？
This is so f**ked up.
太夸张了
- I thought we were friends. - Did you?
我以为我们是朋友
是吗？
Because you barely talked to me until I got a show, so...
在我有节目之前 你根本没跟我讲过几句话
I don't remember it that way.
我印象中并非如此
Yeah, I'm sure you don't.