绝望写手（2021）

Hacks S01E03

Part 1 Aug. 6, 2022, 10:55 a.m.

- Get a warrant. - You know I don't need one.
－去申请搜索令啊－你明知道我不用申请
我看到你重新灌满了池塘
I saw you refilled your pond.
光是这样就远超过你的每月额度了
That puts you way over your monthly allowance.
－告我啊－我们提告了啊
- So sue me. - We have!
你光是今年就欠了１５万元罚金
You owe $150,000 in fines this year alone.
我已经付清了
Which I have paid!
别一直上门骚扰我
I don't need this constant harassment!
Wayne Newton's got seven fountains!
韦恩纽顿甚至拥有七座喷泉
Could you remind Ms. Vance that, legally
请你提醒凡斯女士
就法律上她无法拒绝我查水表
she cannot stop me from checking her water meter?
那请你提醒这位＂水利警♥察♥＂
And could you please remind this "water cop"
that I have more pressing issues to attend to
我还有很多迫切问题要处理
例如洗一个没必要的长澡
like taking an unnecessarily long shower?
你从侧门来的话我会去后面帮忙开门
If you come around the side, I can unlock the gate from the back.
Thank you.
谢谢你
－很烫‥ －谢谢你
- Hot... - Thank you.
我不小心碰到杯口了
- Accidentally touched the lip. - Okay.
好的
Think that's a hair, okay.
这应该是根头发吧？
Kayla? What is in this coffee?
凯拉？
咖啡里加了什么？
Half-and-half and sugar.
半奶半奶油和糖
- Well, Splenda. - Okay.
－是善品糖－好的
加了一些善品糖
A couple of Splendas.
那不是糖，是化学物质
That's not sugar. It's all chemicals.
- Yeah. - And I take natural sugar.
－对－我要天然的糖
- Yeah, brain... - All right...
－对，我的脑子‥恍神了－好啦
F-A-R-T.
Is your phone ringing or something?
是你的电♥话♥在响吗？
I don't know. Let's find out.
不知道耶，我接接看
Jimmy Lusaque Jr.'s office. Jimmy speaking.
小吉米拉♥萨♥克的办公室我就是吉米
Hey, buddy, how's it going?
兄弟，你好吗？
收到我寄去的狗了吗？
Did you get that dog I sent you?
Yeah, I don't need another dog.
收到了，但我不需要另一只狗我已经有一只了，它讨厌我
I have one and he hates me.
What's going on with you?
你是怎么了？干嘛一直传给我领养狗的连结？
Why do you keep sending me Petfinder links?
Well...
－因为我很寂寞，亲爱的－太惨了
- I'm pretty lonely, my man. - That's sad.
帮黛博拉建档的工作进行得如何？
How's it going archiving for Deborah?
So painful.
太痛苦了，她最棒的经历
The coolest thing she's ever done
就是在２０００年共同主持了新年摇滚夜
is co-host New Year's Rockin' Eve in 2000.
2001 wasn't as good, but I don't know.
２００１年就没那么好了我也不知道为什么
可能是因为我知道接下来有９１１事件吧
Maybe that's just 'cause I knew 9/11 was coming.
别这样黛博拉有很多很棒的经历
Come on, Deborah's done plenty of cool stuff.
是她带起了同志邮轮风潮
I mean, she started the gay cruise trend.
You love LGBTQAI+ stuff.
你喜欢多元性别和性向议题啊
Speaking of which, how's Ruby?
说到这个，露比好吗？
Well, we broke up three months ago.
我们三个月前分手了
- So I think you'll have to ask her. - I'm sorry.
所以你大概得问她
抱歉，听着如果你只是打来闲聊
Hey, look, if you're just calling to shoot the shit
爱你喔，祝你好运不过我等等再打给你
love you, bless you, but I'll call you back.
All righty, ciao.
好啊，再见
Okay, ciao for now.
好，先挂掉啦
－给你，王子－非常感谢你
- Here you go, prince. - Thank you so much.
Yum!
很好喝喔
- 'Kay. - Not "yum," weird and bizarre.
一点都不好喝，味道好怪异
－这杯加了什么？－蜂蜜啊
- What is in this one? - Honey!
You said natural. It comes from bears.
你说要天然食材这是熊采集来的
- Kayla... - Knock, knock.
－凯拉‥ －有人在吗？
Michael! Hi!
－麦可，你好－爸爸，在上班的爸爸
Daddy! Daddy's at work!
So how's my baby girl doing?
我的宝贝女儿表现如何？
She's unbelievable. Really special, special.
她太棒了，真的非常特别‥
You know, she specifically requested to be on your desk.
她特别要求要为你工作
- She did? - Yeah.
－是吗？－是啊
你差点就要应付哈佛毕业的书呆子
You almost got stuck with some Harvard nerd
成天炫耀自己获选加入傅尔布莱特计划
always bragging about his Fulbright.
天啊，那我会被烦死
God, that would have been so annoying!
－我们去吃午餐吧－好啊，小甜心
- Let's go do lunch! - Absolutely, sugar plum.
- Hold down the fort, Jimmy Junior. - You got it, Michael.
－看好办公室了，小吉米－好的
－＂看好办公室了，小吉米＂－好的
- "Hold down the fort, Jimmy Junior!" - Okay.
可以麻烦帮我买♥♥午餐吗？
Could you bring back lunch for me, please?
＂凯西凡斯＂
Hello?
有人在家吗？
Oh, shit.
糟糕
捐出去吧
Donate.
Oh, do you like these?
你要这件吗？
Not my style. I like a pant with a stirrup.
不是我的风格，我喜欢踩脚裤
Okay.
好的
Mom!
妈妈
I mean, come on!
拜托
- This is... this sucks! - No...
－这也太丑了－不会‥
这很时尚，非常优雅
It's chic. It's very elegant. It's very Gina Lollobrigida.
很有珍娜露露布丽姬的感觉
那是谁？
Who? No.
不行，这让我看起来像个浑球
This is.. I look like an asshole.
送给笨马可斯吧，不然就捐出去
Just give it to stupid Marcus, or donate it.
有些东西太棒了，捐不得
Some things are too nice to donate.
Well, not this.
这件可不是
Okay, look, I'll take your heirlooms if you promise to wear
听着，我会接收这件传家宝
前提是你答应我会戴我的颈链上台，大秀才行
one of my chokers on stage, and a big one.
这件洋装很适合你啊
Now, the dress is working, you know?
你的眉毛才不对劲
What's not working is your eyebrows.
- What? - Mom!
什么？妈妈
－我一直叫你用眉笔画长一点－我的天啊
I keep telling you, you've got to extend them
- a bit with a pencil. - Oh, my God.
你的眉毛到那边就不见了稍微画一下就好
Right there, they just kind of peter out.
Pencil, a little pencil.
我一直都有涂精华液只是需要点时间让它生长
I've been using the serum. It just takes time.
－约瑟菲娜，帮我说句话好吗？－我只是来拿件西装外套
Josefina, can you, please?
I'm just here for a blazer.
我早跟你说过你会后悔在９０年代拔掉太多眉毛
I told you, you were gonna regret over-tweezing in the '90s.
我在９０年代唯一的悔恨就是没有大解放
The only thing I regret from the '90s is not getting frickin' emancipated.
黛洁，我一整个早上都在应付水利警♥察♥
You know, DJ, I have had a morning with the water cop
所以别找我麻烦
so don't start with me.
我很遗憾你没管好自己的池塘
I'm sorry you mismanaged your pond!
我当然有管好自己的池塘我都请人来管理了
I don't mismanage my pond. I pay people to manage my pond.
那你就是没管好帮你管理池塘的人
Then you mismanaged the people who manage your pond.
你在干嘛？
What are you doing?
Yes, you. I can see you in the mirror.
对，就是你我可以透过镜子看到你
Sorry, special delivery. Just... this came for...
抱歉，我送快递来这是寄给‥
I... I can just leave it by the door.
我可以‥放在门边就好
Who's it from?
谁寄来的？
I... I think it's from your sister?
应该是你妹妹吧？
Oh, shit.
糟糕
Throw it out. And don't come back up here again.
扔掉
别再上来这里
好的，抱歉
Okay, sorry.
Hey.
若这样能让你比较好受
If it would make you feel better
我很乐意接收你的钻石网球手环
I'd be happy to take your diamond tennis bracelet.
I told you, you'll get that when I'm dead.
我说过了，死了才会留给你
Okay.
好啦
I will be reaching out when I know the penalty
确认罚金之后再跟你联络
and I'll be back in, like, a month.
－我大约一个月后会再来访－我不会跑掉
- I'll be here. - Good to know.
－很好，祝你有美好的一天－你也是
- Have a good day. - You too.
Who was that?
那是什么人？
那是威尔森一直跟在我们屁♥股♥后面找麻烦
It's just Wilson. He's such a pain in our ass.
"Our ass"? You and Deborah share an ass?
＂我们屁♥股♥＂？
你跟黛博拉共用一个屁♥股♥吗？
Is there something I can help you with?
有何贵干吗？
Oh, yeah.
对了，她要我把这个扔掉
She told me to throw this away, but should I?
但我该丢掉吗？这是她妹寄来的
- It's from her sister. - Wait, what?
等一下，你说什么？
You brought this to her?
你把这个拿给她吗？
Yeah, she was so nice about it. Sweet woman.