鬼屋欢乐送

麻烦给我份带骨的肋眼牛排还有
I'll take the bone- in ribeye please and.
一瓶你们2010年份的奥松酒庄红洒
Oh, I'll take a- a bottle of your 2010 Chateau Ausone.
这品味 好的 这就给你端上来
Wow. Okay. We'll get that right up to you.
他失业 可却点了
He's unemployed, yet he's ordering
菜单上最贵的东西
the most expensive items on the menu.
事有蹊跷（里面有点臭）
Something stinks in here.
有点像你从纽波特回来时
Sort of like your steamer trunk
大旅行箱的味道
by the time you got back from Newport.
真的该立即把那个男仆处理掉的
Mm, you really must scape the footman off immediately.
卡萝尔
Carol.
你怎么会在这里
What are you doing here?
你一直在躲我
You've been hiding from me.
我觉得你该走了
I think you should leave.
皮特 我刚发现我死了
Pete, I just found out I died.
周围都是陌生人
I'm surrounded by strangers.
你能陪我坐会儿吗
Could you please just sit with me?
当然了 卡萝尔
Sure, Carol. Oi yoi yoi.
我理解这种转变有多难
I know how hard this transition can be.
谢谢 皮特
Thank you, Pete.
我已经好受多了
I feel better already.
卡萝尔 你手在我膝盖上做什么
Carol. What is your hand doing on my knee?
抱歉 老♥习♥惯了
Oh, sorry. Old habits.
没有弹响
No clicking.
你的软骨组织 还是那么充沛
Your cartilage, it's still so bountiful.
好了 这是个错误 我走了
Okay, this was a mistake. I'm leaving.
我手袋里有块奶油糖哦
I have a butterscotch candy in my purse.
奶油糖
Butterscotch?
挺好的 卡萝尔 但你一给我
That's, great, Carol, but as soon as you give it to me,
它就会迅速回到你手袋里
it's just going to zap back into your purse.
我都没法享受它
I- I won't even be able to enjoy it.
错 其实 萨萨和海蒂有个古怪的想法
No, actually, Sass and Hetty had this wacky idea,
就是如果我拿着 你就可以舔到
that if I hold onto it, you can suck on it.
但你也会
But you'll also have
稍微舔到点我的手指
to suck my fingers a little.
我已经很久没吃过奶油糖了
It's been a while since I've had a butterscotch.
实际上 我已经很久没尝过任何东西了
In fact, it's been so long since I tasted anything,
我也许应该看看
I should probably just take a look.
尝尝吧
Have a taste.
你力量好大
You're so powerful.
看看这个
Wow, look at that.
是趣游游戏主机吗
Is this an old Funyo gaming console?
你玩超级巨碗不
You play Super Mega Bowl?
这些词我几乎一个都听不懂
I recognize almost none of those words.
是款经典的单机橄榄球游戏
It's a classic eight- bit football video game.
玩 我超爱玩超级巨碗的
Yeah, I love Super Mega Bowl.
特雷弗以前会跟我一起玩
Trevor ancl I used to play.
你刚被特钱钱擒抱了
You just got sacked by T- Money.
无所谓
Whatever.
我还有时间射中个三分球
I still have time to kick this field goal
赢下莱夫科维茨家庭锦标赛的
and win the Lefkowitz Family Championship.
你会紧张的 杰瑞米
You're gonna choke, Jeremy.
就像你在犹太人夏令营
Just like you choked
排球决赛时
in the Camp Ramah gaga finals
在瑞秋·霍洛维茨面前紧张了一样
in front of Rachel Horowitz.
嘿 不公平 你捅湿我耳朵
Hey! No fair! You wet- willied mel
特钱钱
T- Money!
一直都是我赢
I beat him all the time.
一直都是我赢 -嘿 杰瑞米
I beat him all the time. - Hey, Jeremy.
抱歉打搅下 我确定肯定是搞错了
Sorry to interrupt, I'm sure it was just a mistake,
但你给我们的信♥用♥卡♥被拒了
but the credit card you gave us was declined.
给他个教训 萨曼
Break his thumbs, Sam.
是 不好意思啊 我应该提一下
Yeah, sorry, I- I should've mentioned that
我要用伍德斯通奖励积分抵扣
I'm gonna use Woodstone Rewards points to pay for it.
餐费房♥费
Food, room,
一所有都是一很遗憾
－ the whole thing. Unfortunately,
你目前不可能攒到那么多积分
there's no way you've earned that many points yet.
不是哦注册邮箱的时候你就会
Uh- huh. Well, you know how you get a hundred points
得到100积分对吧
when you sign up for the mailing list?
对 程序我做的
Yeah, I created the program.
我知道是怎么运作的
I know how it works.
是 一般来说规则里会限制
Right, well, usually there's something in the rules
可注册电子邮箱的数量
limiting how many emails you can register,
但你们规则里没有
but not in yours.
所以我注册了一万个虚拟邮箱账户
So, I registered 10, 000 dummy email accounts
所以现在我有一百万积分
and now I got a million points!
这娃就是个天才
This kid's a genius!
总有一天他会成大事的
He's gonna do big things one day.
他比我父亲去世的时候年纪都要大
He's older than my father was when he died of old age.
死法极其耻辱
Very shameful way to die.
行吧 就是说你骗了我们一个免费周末
Okay, so you tricked us into a free weekend.
恭喜
Congratulations.
其实 实际上
Well, it's actually gonna be, uh,
要住不止一个周末
a little longer than a weekend.
是这样 我在这里过得很开心
See, um, I'm having a great time,
目前现金流也有点拮据
and I'm currently a little cashflow"negativo, "
所以我上网 延长了住宿时间
so I went online, extended my reservation...
画风不大对啊
Where's this headed?
明年我都会在这里住下了
...and I'm gonna live here for the next year,
全部用积分抵扣
and pay for it all with the points.
天呐
Oh, God.
耶 莱夫科维茨兄弟又要大展拳脚了
Yes! Lefkowitz boys ride again!
我刚跟律师通过电♥话♥
Well, I just got off the phone with the lawyer.
他说如果我们不兑现奖励积分
He says that if we don't honor the rewards points,
那将会面临法律诉讼
we're opening ourselves up to legal action.
太好了 所以就这么定了 杰仔住下来
Great. So it's settled. J- Dog stays.
那就让这人榨干我们一整年
So, this guy is just bleeding us dry for a year?
怎么才能甩掉他
How are we gonna get rid of him?
流星消灭了恐龙呀 -这有什么关系
A meteor got rid of the dinosaurs. - How is that helpful?
没关系 就是觉得很牛逼
It's not. I just thought it was neat.
伊莱斯跟我曾经拥有一栋廉价公♥寓♥楼
Elias and I once owned a tenement building
我们认为那里很适合做工厂
that we thought would make a wonderful factory.
但如何处理住在其中并
But what to do about the families who lived there
拒绝搬出去的家庭呢
and were refusing to move out?
我们放了老鼠进出 让他们四散奔逃
Well, we brought in rats and how they scurried.
我是说人 不是说老鼠
The people, not the rats.
好吧 海蒂的故事让人很不舒服
Okay, Hetty had a very disturbing story,
但我认为还是有可取之处
but I think there's an actionable takeaway.
如果我们提供给杰瑞米的东西都很不舒服
What if we just make things so uncomfortable for Jeremy
搞得他想离开呢
that he wants to leave?
好主意 我们把他熏出去
That's a great idea. We smoke him out.
不是吧
Come on.
我已经错过了我弟25年的时光
I've missed out on 25 years of my brother's life.
我都不知道他跟谁谈过恋爱 住哪里
I don't even know who he's dated, where he's lived,
他是喜欢大胸还是翘臀
if he's a boob or a butt guy.
特雷弗 我们养不起一个跟这
Trevor, we can't afford someone just living here
白吃白喝花光我们钱的人
mooching and spending us into oblivion.
这太不公平了
This is so unfair.
问个问题 就是说你被困在一个满是老鼠的楼里
Question. So you were just stuck with a building full of rats?
那里是香肠厂 所以问题迎刃而解
It was a sausage factory, so the problem solved itself.
好消息 各位
Great news, everyone.
卡萝尔和我复合啦
Carol and I are back together.
他坚强了将近一个小时呢
And he stayed strong for almost a whole hour.
恭喜 -可她之前伤过你的心
Congrats. But she break your heart before.
我知道 但那都是过去的事了
I- I know, but that was in the past.
这次会不一样的
Things are gonna be different this time.
你在这里啊
There you are.
咱们不是说好了去散步吗
I thought we were going for a walk.
都快六点了
It's almost 6: 00.
才五点四十 小甜甜
Well, it's 5: 40, my sugarplum.
还不到六点呢
That's not almost 6: 00.