鬼屋欢乐送

她又没附着在任何人身上
She's not attached to anyone.
真是烦死了
I hate this.
她和锁尔在一起啊
She's hanging out with Saul.
就是吧
It's just...
对我和锁尔来说
it's a little hard for me and Saul
你在这 我们俩
to express ourselves physically
想搞点小动作就很难
with you right there.
是啊 杰是没办法 他必须在这
Yeah, I mean Jay's one thing. He needs to be here.
但你就
But you, well
这样也太诡异了
You know, that's just weird.
好吧 我想
Uh, okay, I mean, I guess
我应该可以下楼
I could go downstairs
收发个邮件什么的吧
and just maybe catch up on some emails.
等等 不是吧 那你得把阿尔伯塔一起带走
Wait, what? Please tell me you're taking Alberta with you.
我把阿尔伯塔一起带走
I'm taking Alberta with me.
真的吗
Really?
杰 你想让我怎么说呢
Jay, what do you want me to say here?
不行
Nope. Mm- mm.
我不想躺在这里
I'm not gonna lie here while two ghosts
让两个鬼鬼在我身上亲热
canoodle on top of me,
所以我要去泡杯茶喝
so I'm gonna go make some tea.
你跟阿尔伯塔说 把这事搞定
You talk to Alberta and you figure this out.
走了锁尔
Let's go, Saul.
他其实不用说
He didn't have to say that,
但我感谢他的提醒
but I appreciate the warning.
一会见
I'll see you later.
好吧 等他们回来 你告诉杰我离开了
Okay, when they get back, you tell Jay I left.
然后等他睡着了 你再离开
Then, when he falls asleep, you make yourself scarce.
别担心 我会尽量小声点的
And don't worry- - I'll keep the humming to a minimum.
我为你开心 但我觉得总这样也不行啊
Look, I'm excited for you, but this isn't sustainable.
萨曼 我都多久没遇到过一个自己心仪的
Sam, it's been a long time since I've met a ghost
鬼鬼了
that I'm interested in.
这里就像是沙漠 我很饥渴
This is a desert, and I'm parched,
而这个高帅哥（高杯水）突然出现了
and in walks this tall drink of water.
你真的忍♥心拒绝我吗
Do you really want to deny me that?
这事我们得告诉艾萨克 对吧
We got to tell Isaac about this, right?
我是说 找人给你跳大腿舞是一回事
I mean, getting a lap dance is one thing,
但如果这人是你前任就是另一回事了
but getting a lap dance from your ex?
这也太不妥了吧
I mean, that's just naughty.
嘿 单身汉派对上发生的事
Hey, what happens at a bachelor party
就仅限那一晚
stays at a bachelor party.
这是规矩 皮特
It's a rule, Pete.
我喜欢遵守规则
Well, I do love following rules.
那么
ISAAC: So?
昨晚的单身派对如何啊
How was the bachelor party, hmm?
我相信打油诗
I trust the limericks
应该够下流吧
were sufficiently ribald?
詹金斯给奈杰尔跳了大腿舞
Nigel got a lap dance from Jenkins!
－皮特 -抱歉
Pete! Oh, sorry.
什么叫大腿舞啊
Uh, uh, what is a lap dance?
就是 -大腿舞就是
Well, it's...THOR: Lap dance is when
一个当服务生挣学费读大学的人
someone working their way through school
用他们的私处摩擦另一个人的私处
grinds their loins against someone else's loins.
说的还挺好的
That's pretty good, actually.
我希望你们不是在
I hope you boys aren't
复述昨晚的打油诗吧
recounting any of the racier limericks from last night.
因为那可就成了单身“不”对了
Because that would be a real stag don't.
你和詹金斯昨晚
What exactly happened last night
到底发生了什么
between you and Jenkins?
什么都没有啊
It was all innocent.
就是单身派对找的乐子嘛 实际上
Just a bit of stag do fun. In fact,
你今晚的单身派对也应该来一段大腿舞
you should get a lap dance at your party tonight.
不了 谢谢 我可不想让詹金斯坐我腿上
No, thank you. I don't want Jenkins in my lap.
也不一定非得詹金斯
It doesn't have to be Jenkins.
不如我们叫萨曼给你请个真正的脱衣舞者啊
What if we ask Sam to get you a real stripper?
他们还肯上门服务吗
Do they make house calls?
皮特 你真可爱
Pete, you're adorable.
这主意可太好了
That's a splendid idea.
到时你就可以自己看看这多有意思了
Then you can see it was all in good fun.
嘿 萨曼
Oh, hey, Sam,
我们想让你给艾萨克的单身派对
we need you to hire a stripper
请个脱衣舞演员
for Isaac's bachelor party tonight.
－好 -不是吧 这就答应了
Okay. Really? That worked?
还有比这更诡异的事呢
There's a lot weirder stuff happening.
你这是赶巧了
You caught me on a good week.
杰
: Jay.
你为什么这么小声 -啊嘘嘘嘘 锁尔在睡觉呢
Why are you whispering? Shh, shh, shh. Saul's asleep.
是因为他们做了一晚上吗
: Is it'cause they were doing it all night?
可能是吧
Probably.
我忍♥不了了 萨曼
I can't live like this, Sam.
问题是 阿尔伯塔说她一直在沙漠里
The thing is, Alberta's been in a desert.
什么 这话什么意思啊
What? What does that mean?
我只是觉得需要考虑一下她的感受
I just think we need to consider her feelings here.
那我的感受呢
What about my feelings?
我也是个人啊 萨曼
I'm a person, too, Sam.
我们就再给她一个月的时间行吗
What if we just gave her, like, another month?
你是疯了吗
Are you out of your mind?
这太疯狂了 萨曼
This is nuts, Sam.
别吼我啊
Don't raise your voice at me.
我没法吼 这才是重点
I can't raise my voice, that's the point.
我才应该是你优先考虑的
I should be the priority.
我理解阿尔伯塔的情况 但我身边有个鬼
I understand Alberta's situation, but I got a guy
跟着我去淋浴
following me into the shower.
嘘 -跟着我去泡澡
Shh...Into the bathroom.
这简直是最最诡异的事了
It's deeply, deeply weird.
好吧 这的确诡异
Okay, fine, it is weird.
这对不公平
It's not fair to you.
我觉得我们应该坚持
I think we should just insist
让锁尔到别人身上去附着（打飞机）
that Saul jerks off onto someone else.
什么
What?
他们从一个宿主
That's what they call it
转移到另一个宿主身上时就这么说
when they move to another host.
为什么不能直接说呢
Why not just say that?
所以你想让我为这个空椅子跳舞
: So, you want me to dance for this empty chair?
对 但你可以假装
Yeah, but if you could pretend
上面有人坐着 -行吧
that there's somebody in it? Right.
其实吧 -你不用解释
See, the thing is...You don't have to explain.
收钱就得做事嘛
That's what the money's for.
嘿 别嘻嘻的
Hey, don't"tee- hee"at him.
那是来给艾萨克表演的
That's Isaac's stripper.
没事
It's fine.
不过说实话 我觉得这挺傻的
This is all rather silly, to be honest.
耶
♪Yeah ♪
如此诱人
♪So seductive ♪
我带你去糖果店
♪I take you to the candy shop♪
让你舔棒棒糖
♪I let you lick the lollipop...♪
这应该是某种
This supposed to be some sort of
顶级男性标本吧
peak male specimen?
他还不错啦 但是
I mean, he's okay, but...
我去
Oh, my gods.
这些都什么呀
What are all of those?
我染上单核细胞增多症的那个夏天也有腹肌
I had those the summer I caught mono.
那时候死了就好了
Oh, if only I could have died then.
玩偶很可爱
That is a cute stuffie.
是 某个小孩把霸王龙落这了
Oh, uh, yeah, some kid left their T. rexhere.
其实 那个不是霸王龙是双脊龙
Actually, that's not a T. rex. That's a Dilophosaurus.
什么东西 -双脊龙
Uh, a what? A Dilophosaurus.
是一种移♥动♥速度很快的食肉动物
It was a fast- moving carnivore that roamed
存在于侏罗纪早期
during the early Jurassic period.
他居然懂恐龙
He knows about dinosaurs?