鬼屋欢乐送

那品质是最好的
Is highest quality.
第一次挤爆狼尸体的膀胱
First squeeze of dead wolf bladder.
太令人垂涎了
Mm. Is most coveted.
真是有趣极了
So interesting.
感觉真好
It is nice.
再用力些
Don't be afraid to really get in there.
我觉得我已经
HETTY: I believe I'm in as...
用尽全力了
deep as I'm prepared to go.
问个问题
Question:
你个家伙(Hell)
what the H- E- double- hockey sticks
昨晚在萨曼和杰房♥间做什么呢
were you doing in Sam and Jay's bedroom last night?
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
你以为我睡着了 但我没有
You thought I was sleeping, but I wasn't,
因为我有睡眠呼吸中止症
'cause of my sleep apnea,
我以为死后就会好了 但并没有
which I assumed I'd get rid of when I died, but I didn't,
所以我白天也总是疲惫不堪
so I'm always a little tired.
嘿 亲爱的
SAMANTHA: Oh, hey, sweetie.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
我在标记电视要放的位置
Oh, I'm just marking off where the TV would go,
不管是社交论♥坛♥ 电脑码奴
if, you know, we put it where Reddit and the Geek Squad
还是常理思维都会赞同的地方
and common sense say it should go.
那你在干嘛 -我今天要一直跟着萨曼莎
And what are you doing? I'm following Samantha for the day.
周三的惯例活动
It's Wednesday.
杰 那样的话沙发就得放这边
Jay, that would mean the couch goes there,
这太不合理了
which is insane.
我说不好
I don't know,
沙发放那边也挺好啊
the couch over there might look nice.
鬼鬼们在笑你呢
Oh, the ghosts are laughing at you.
我本想把这活动改在周四 但是
I was thinking about switching to Thursdays, but
周三是萨曼莎和凯文调情的日子
Wednesday is the day that Samantha flirts with Kevin,
那个送水的家伙
the water delivery man.
我才没有 -怎么了
I do not. What?
没有
Nothing.
那是怎么回事
So, what is that?
你在挑披萨烤箱吗
Are you looking up pizza ovens?
是啊 好奇怪
Yeah, it was the strangest thing.
我今早起来 就非常肯定
I woke up this morning absolutely certain
我们该买♥♥台披萨烤箱
that we should get a pizza oven
放进餐厅 -你不是说
for the restaurant. SAMANTHA: I thought you said
烤箱和餐厅格调不符吗
it wouldn't fit with the kitchen layout.
改主意也是常有的事 萨曼
The man's allowed to change his mindj Sam.
我不知道
JAY: I don't know.
我一觉醒来就这样认定了
I just woke up convinced,
所以我就想办法处理格调的事吧
so I'm gonna find a way to make it work.
你是大厨你做主
You're the chef.
看来今天是你的幸运日咯 萨斯
Looks like it's your lucky day, Sass.
是啊 幸运的很
Yeah. Very lucky.
我去上视频瑜伽课了
Well, I have Zoom yoga.
我去上视频瑜伽课了
: Well, I have Zoom yoga.
我赌50块 那儿一个印度人都没有
50 bucks says there's not a single Indian person there.
昨天 杰还信誓旦旦的说不想要披萨烤箱
So, yesterday, Jay says he doesn't want a pizza oven.
然后你昨晚对他做了些奇怪的事情
Then you did some weird thing to him while he slept,
他醒来就突然想要烤箱了
and he just woke up wanting one?
是啊 多奇妙的巧合啊
Yeah, pretty cool coincidence, huh?
到底怎么回事 萨斯
What's going on, Sass?
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
我们是室友啊 我的秘密我都告诉你的
We are roommates. I tell you all my secrets.
你知道我幻想着去洛尼安德森河漂流
You know about my Loni Anderson river rafting fantasy.
你到底想说什么 皮特 -重点是
What's your point, Pete? The point is, I telt you
我什么都告诉你 可你显然有事瞒着我
everything, and I know there's something you're not telling me.
如果你想着伤害我的杰
And- and if you're doing something to hurt my Jay
你闭嘴吧好吗 声音小点
Would you stop? Keep your voice down, okay?
我不是要伤害杰 听我说
I'm not hurting Jay. Just listen.
这是我的鬼鬼超能力
It's my ghost power.
我可以进入到活人的梦里
Okay? I can subtly influence Livings
潜移默化的影响他们的想法 别告诉别人
by going into their dreams. Just don't tell anyone.
我的老天爷啊 这超能力太强大了
Cheese and crackers. That's incredible.
我滴个老天鹅
Holy guacamole.
别再感叹了 真的很烦人
Would you please stop swearing cleanly? It's very annoying.
只是 这超能力也太强大了 香蕉你个巴拿拿
PETE: It's just, that's one heck of a ghost power. Cookie Crisp.
士多啤犁苹果橙 你可以进入到别人的梦里啊
I mean, dip my chip, you can jump into other people's dreams?
是的 别问了 只有索尔知道
Shh! Yes, okay? And no one knows other than Thor,
我只能告诉他 做那么多年来
who I had to tell because we were alone together
这里只有我们俩 那可是无数尴尬对望的瞬间啊
for many years, and there were a lot of awkward silences.
那你可以操纵别人做事咯
So, you can just make people do whatever you want?
没那么简单 我得获得他们的信任
Well, it's not that simple. I have to gain their trust,
时不时的出现在他们的梦里
repeatedly show up in their dreams,
这人还得意志不那么坚定
and the person has to be susceptible.
还好 杰的思维就像墙头草
Luckily, Jay's mind is like taffy.
那你经常去杰梦里和他玩咯
Wait, so- so you're, like, always hanging out with Jay, huh?
他会梦到些什么
Yeah. What- what does he dream about?
基本上都是打篮球 -好吧
Uh, mostly basketball...Cool.
太空旅行 -有趣
and space travel. Love that.
有时候会梦到萨曼
And, sometimes, he has a dream about Sam
穿着莉亚公主的比基尼 -我就知道
in that, uh, Princess Leia bikini. Of course he does
老婆就是杰的天
Jay's a real wife guy.
但我得说一句
Hmm. But I got to say, I mean,
这感觉不太道德吧 萨斯 这不是意念控制吗
this doesn't seem ethical, Sass. I mean, mind controlling people?
你什么都不许说 皮特
Don't you dare say anything, Pete.
我们是室友 要为彼此保守秘密
Okay? We're roommates, right? We keep each other's secrets.
但这个关系到其他人
But this affects other people.
我觉得萨曼和杰
I mean, I- I don't think Sam and Jay
不会喜欢你的所作所为
would appreciate what you're doing.
但我知道会有谁喜欢
Well, I know someone who would appreciate it.
如果杰把你最爱的露营食物
When Jay puts your favorite camping treat- -
棉花糖夹心饼干 放进餐厅菜单里
s'mores- - on his restaurant menu.
我可以帮你实现
I can make that happen,
只要你配合我
if you play ball.
考虑下吧
Just think about it.
全麦酥饼
Graham cracker,
巧克力 还有中间夹的白白软软的
chocolate, and that white stuff
一百年前出现的美味
that showed up, like, 100 years ago.
棉花糖 -棉花糖
Marshmallow. Marshmallow.
不 不行
No! I can't.
我唯一想要的夹心
Look, the only s'more I'm interested in
就是你正直的心
is s'more integrity around here.
你这人真没劲
Ugh. You're so lame. Yeah,
或许你说的对 但至少我夜晚能够安眠
that may be true, but at least I can sleep at night.
我是说 如果没有呼吸暂停病的话
Well, I mean, if it weren't for the apnea,
这病死了以后还有可真是太奇怪了
which, again, is so weird that that exists in the afterlife.
你没事吧 特雷弗
Hey. You doing okay, Trevor?
你看上去像是
You look like when Sam and Jay
被萨曼和杰设置了上网时长管控
put parental controls on the Internet.
我觉得我和海蒂或许没办法继续了
I don't think things are working out with me and Hetty.
你俩不是分手了吗
Didn't you two break up?
哦 没有 我们只是这样告诉你们
Oh, right. No, we just told you all that
这样我们偷偷摸摸的偷♥情♥更刺♥激♥
so we could sneak around, which makes the sex hotter.
你们这俩孩子玩的可真花
Child, you two are exhausting.
我知道
I know.
我刚刚看到她
Anyway, I just saw her
在勾引索尔
trying to seduce Thor.
等等 什么 我们的那个索尔
Wait. What? Our Thor?
不知道代词怎么用的那个索尔
”Never learned pronouns"Thor?
是的 我知道她不是真的看上索尔了
Yes. Although, I know it's not like she's into him for real.
她只是想被吸上天
She's just trying to get sucked off.
等等 给我讲讲怎么回事
Uh- uh. Back up. Walk me through this.
艾萨克告诉我们花花其实是
Okay, Isaac told us that Flower's actually
第三个索尔被吸上天的女朋友了
the third girlfriend of Thor's to get sucked off.
所以大家觉得他就是升♥天♥的门票
Basically, people think he s like a ticket to heaven.
有趣
Interesting.