鬼屋欢乐送

and martyr to it.
至少 这就是...
At least, that's how...
向你的勇气致敬
For valiance.
对
Yes.
-没错 -说得好
- Quite right. - Well said, that man.
其实你的死法也不弱
Fair do's, actually. Fair do's.
-那种死法一定很可怕吧 -你说得倒轻巧
- It's a horrible way to go. - Easy for you to say, isn't it?
你几乎连箭都感觉不到
You barely even feels an arrow.
什么
You what?
我们应该把这事告诉艾莉森
We should tell Alison what we've learned.
-对 -她可以告诉电视台的人
- Yes. - And she can tell the television people.
这不是你选择的生活
This isn't the life you signed up for!
快走
Go!
我以女王陛下之名 命令你开门
In the name of Her Majesty, open this door!
天啊
Oh, God.
我在干什么
What am I doing?!
天啊 天啊 天啊
God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God...
女王卫队
Her Majesty's Guards!
出来
Show yourself!
没找到他 长官
No sign of him, sir.
你为什么每次都没好消息
Why is it always bad news with you?
-也没有每次吧 -从没听你说过
- It's not always... - It's never,
"我找到他了 他就在里面"
"Oh, I've found him, he's through here."
-我发现了那个神父洞 -但里面没神父
- I found that priest hole once. - There was no priest in it.
只是一个洞
That was just a hole.
天啊 我真爱这房♥子
God, I love this house.
我的老天爷啊
Whoopsy-daisy.
-我可以说是我做的 -我也想
- I might say I did that. - I would.
这就是为什么我不在家里摆放剑
See, this is why I won't have swords in the house.
是因为你有孩子吧
Yeah. Well, you've got kids, haven't you?
不走运啊
Bad day?
我觉得采访差不多可以开始了
Hey. Well, I think we're almost ready to do the interviews,
-如果你... -关于这事
- if you... - Yeah, about that.
我不知道拜格-切特温德先生跟你说了什么
I don't know what Mr Beg-Chegwin told you,
但他实际上和巴顿庄园没有任何关系
but he's not actually anything to do with Button House.
他就是个难相处的本地怪人
He's just a sort of mean local weirdo.
其实这么说不公平 不 很公平
Actually, that's not fair. No, that is fair.
所以我们不想让他掺合房♥子的事
So, yeah, we'd rather he wasn't associated with the house
因为 老实说
because, to be honest,
我担心他会在电视上胡言乱语
I'm worried about how he comes across on TV.
好吧 我只是感觉
OK. It's just that I got the impression
你妻子对这个采访不是很有兴趣
your wife wasn't all that keen to do an interview.
你在开玩笑吗 她迫不及待呢 我跟你说
You're kidding! She can't wait. I'm telling you,
她最擅长受访了
she's a natural.
这房♥子是...呃
So the house is, um... Um...
就像是我...呃
..Like, my connection, um...
和家族间的纽带
Um. ..To the family.
-"呃"太多了 如果能... -宝贝 下一个到你
- You see, if we can just... - Babe! You're up next.
-现在吗 这么快 -我们还需要点时间 可恶
- What, now? Already? - We need more time, damn you!
-不能让巴克利先拍吗 -不 他被取消了
- Can't Barclay go first? - No, he's been canned.
听说有匿名人士揭穿了他的真面目
Apparently an anonymous source told them what he's like
-于是他们就... -迈克
- and they were like... - Mike.
干嘛啦 他是负面宣传 你也知道的
What? He's bad PR and you know it.
他有什么反应
How did he take it?
-他们怎么都喜欢"呃" -五分钟后
- They're all at it. - Give me five minutes
我再告诉你 祝我好运吧
and I'll let you know. Wish me luck.
不不不 等等
No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
我来说吧 我们得对他温柔点
I'll do it. We need to be gentle with him
然后让他尽快离开这里
and then we need to get him out of here real quick.
欧比来了
Obi!
我们不练了 对吗
Oh, we're finished here, are we?
看到了吗 这是件杰作
Hey, see? It's a masterpiece!
行了 快给我
Yeah, yeah. Give it to me.
-你为什么要穿上 -因为看起来很酷啊
- Why are you wearing it? - Because it looks sick.
我们准备好采访艾莉森了
Right. We're ready for Alison,
就在那边的篱笆旁边
just up by the fence there.
-篱笆 什么篱笆 -就在那边...
- Fence? What fence? - Just up by the...
-她觉得那边的风景很不错 -不不不
- She thought the view was quite good. - No, no, no.
有更好的位置 离房♥子更近
I mean, there's much better spots nearer the house,
比如标牌旁边
like by the sign.
在标牌旁边能看到房♥子
So you can see the house. By the sign?
可是我们在那里都准备好了
It's just we're all set up over there now.
或许之后可以再来这里拍一下
But... but maybe we'll come and grab something here a bit later.
很高兴能讲述
I'm thrilled to fill in
其丰富多彩历史的一部分
a tiny part of its rich and varied history.
这样挺好 好了 再来一遍
Yes, that'll do it. Right, once more.
要牢牢记住
Get it in the old memory.
天啊 他还在这里吗
Oh, God. Is he still here?
你好
Hello there.
-你在对我说话吗 -我想说
- What? Me? - May I just say
和你们一起
what an honour it is
身处这漂亮的房♥子里 真是荣幸之至
to be joining you here in this wonderful house?
天啊 不是吧
Oh, God, no.
很高兴能讲述
I'm thrilled to fill in a tiny part
其丰富多彩历史的一部分
of its rich and varied history.
真的发生了
It's happened!
艾莉森
Alison!
完美
Ah, perfect.
敲敲门 你还好吗
Knock, knock. Hi, how are you?
你现在怎么样
How are you?
很好 迫不及待开录了
Yes, fine, raring to go.
好吧
Right.
只是
It's just...
你想坐下吗
Do you want to sit down?
不想
No!
真的吗 好吧
Really? OK.
是这样 我又跟拍纪录片的人谈了一下
The thing is, talking again to the documentary guys,
他们现在似乎更想关注那些
it seems now they want to focus more on people
曾住在... 正住在这房♥子里的人
who actually lived...live in the house.
天啊
Oh, dear.
所以这件新衬衫我是白穿了
So I wore a new shirt for nothing.
一整天穿着这个热死了
Been bally baking in it all day,
而且还很痒
and talk about itchy!
难怪会那么痒
Well, that explains it.
是啊
Yes, it does.
现在好多了
Oh, that's much better.
好吧
Yeah.
呼吸 但不要倒吸气
Breathe, but don't gasp,
不要含混不清 不要呃呃啊啊的
and don't gabble. No ums and ahs.
如果需要停顿就停一下 但别表现得太明显
If you need to pause, pause, but don't show you're pausing.
听着 我知道你是好意
Look, I know that you mean well,
但他们想采访的是我
but it's me they want to talk to,
而不是托马斯·索恩女子精修学校的辍学生
not some drop-out from the Thomas Thorne Finishing School.
所以请你别再说了
So will you please just stop talking
接受事实吧 比起当诗人
and accept that you're a better poet
你当老师更烂 这可是很说明问题了
than you are a teacher? And that is really saying something.
自信 雄辩 沉着
Confident, eloquent, composed.
我的工作已完成
My work here is done.
-你个混♥蛋♥ -不用谢
- Damn your eyes. - You're welcome.
这庄园继承自我父亲那边的亲戚
It was inherited through my dad's side,
但他在我小时就去世了
but he died when I was young
我妈最近也去世了
and my mum passed away more recently.
由于没有在世的亲人 这房♥子就变成了
So with no living relatives, the house has become a kind of
我与历代祖先之间的纽带
link to my ancestors through the ages.
就像家人都在我身边一样
It's like having family all around me.
你能跟我们再多介绍一下
Can you give us any more information
-这房♥子吗 -你能笑一下吗
- about the house? - Could you smile?
-但要边笑边说 -说巴顿庄园
- But with your voice. - Say Button House.
-艾莉森 -一点一滴
- Alison! - ...Every bit as
-都和你的经历一样吸引人... -我警告过你的
- fascinating as your journey... - I warned you!
我警告过你了