鬼屋欢乐送

以及她对复仇永不满足的渴望
and her insatiable thirst for revenge.
是 是
Ah, yes. Sure.
嘿 奈杰尔
Oh, hey, Nigel.
今天可真为你高兴 谢谢
Really excited for you today. Oh, thank you.
嘿 不想把你拖进我们的三人行政♥治♥之中
Hey, not to drag you into our throuple politics,
但我们对于婚礼上的位置
but we're having a little disagreement
还有到底是坐着还是站着产生了争议
about where to sit or stand at your wedding.
你要不要发表个意见
You care to weigh in?
哈 说来尴尬了
Well, ha, this is rather awkward,
但艾萨克和我做出了艰难的决定
but Isaac and I have made the difficult decision
那就是不邀请地下室鬼来参加婚礼
to not invite any basement ghosts.
嘿 这不公平
Hey, that's not fair.
卡萝尔呢
What about Carol?
她现在不也是住在地下室吗
Isn't she living in the basement now?
你就请她了啊
You invited her.
其实我已经离开地下室
I actually left the basement
并且搬进棚屋跟巴克斯特一起住了
and moved into the shed with Baxter here.
我们非常相爱
We're very much in love.
他听起来是不是特像詹姆斯·邦德
Doesn't he sound like James Bond?
谢谢你 萨萨皮斯
Thank you, Sasappis.
过去一小时我一次都没想过克里斯
I haven't thought about Chris once in the past hour.
除了现在
I mean, other than in this moment.
但这是因为我在跟你说
but that was only because I was telling you
自己没有想起他 所以才让我不得不想起了他
how I hadn't thought of him, which made me to think of him.
太好了 很高兴能帮到你
Great, man. Glad I could help.
如此贤明的智慧 如此不可思议的来源
Such sage wisdom, such an unlikely source.
我不止跟烤牛肉女孩有过一段
You know, it wasn't just the roast beef girl.
我和志贵也有过一段
I also sort of had a thing with Shiki.
行吧 行吧 打过13次招呼
Right, right, the 13 hellos.
现在竟然勇敢的归类为 有过一段了
Now bravely categorized as"a thing. "
帮你可真不容易 兄弟
You are really hard to help, man.
嘿 宝儿 DJ来了
JAY: Hey, babe, the DJ's here.
你想让他在哪设置装备啊
Where do you want him to set up?
拎这些设备都累出汗了
Getting sweaty carrying all this equipment.
我天 就是他
Oh, my God. That's him.
是那个脱衣舞男克里斯
That's Chris the stripper.
你确定是他吗
Are you sure that's him?
行吧
Oh, yeah.
的确是他了
That's definitely him.
杰 巧了 克里斯就是我
So, Jay, Chris actually was the dancer that I hired
因为某种原因雇来
to dance in front of an empty chair
在空椅子前跳舞的舞者
for some reason.
这是我老婆 总之 克里斯
That's my wife. Anyway, Chris.
我们看看曲目单吧 好
Let's check out that playlist. Oh, yeah.
我的梦中情人 一个恐龙雕塑爱好者
The literal man of my dreams, a sculpted dinosaur aficionado
在我婚礼当天出现了
shows up the day of my wedding.
这可不是什么好兆头
That's not what I'd call a great sign.
这只是个莫名其妙的巧合罢了
This is just a weird coincidence
毕竟这是个小镇
fueled by the fact that
一个自♥由♥职业者既要跳脱衣舞
small town freelance strippers have to
也要干点别的来养家糊口
work multiple jobs to make ends meet.
我敢保证 一旦你对他加深了解
I'm sure once you learn a little more
你对他的迷恋就会消失了
about this fellow, your crush will disappear.
就像我对法兹·麦金蒂的迷恋
Like how my crush on Fats McGinty disappeared
在我发现他用枪扫射了所有人之后
after I found out about him tommy- gunning
就消失了
all those people to death.
我也不喜欢他对服务员粗鲁的态度
I also didn't like how he was rude to waitstaff.
萨曼莎 问下他为什么迟到了一个多小时
Samantha, ask him why he was over an hour late.
这可会给他的品性扣分
That doesn't speak well of his character.
也能让艾萨克留下点不好的印象
Give Isaac here something bad to latch onto.
克里斯 是堵车或者发生什么事了吗
So, uh, Chris, was there, like, a lot of traffic or something?
对哦 抱歉我迟到了
Oh, yeah, sorry I was late.
我男友车子出了点问题
My boyfriend had a car trouble,
不得不去帮他换胎
had to go help him change a tire.
同性恋加上骑士风度
He's gay and chivalrous.
他的印象坏不了了 海蒂
He's not getting worse, Hetty.
天
Oh, my God!
杰
Ugh. Jay!
不是吧
JAY: Really?
你确实不是你吗 宝儿
You sure it wasn't you, babe?
不是
Nope.
抱歉这么臭啊 杰乳糖不耐
Sorry about the smell. Jay's lactose intolerant.
没关系的 兄弟
Not a bother, mate.
其实我天生就没有嗅觉
I was actually born without a sense of smell.
拜托
Oh, come on.
走势变诡异了呢 有什么关系吗
It is getting eerie. ALBERTA: What does it matter?
这哥们是活人呀 你都死了 管它呢
This guy's alive. You dead. Who cares?
就是
It's just...
我之前没想过这种人真的会存在
I didn't know someone like this existed.
你们家是个很不错的古宅啊
This is a great old- timey mansion you've got.
你知道这里打过几场
Did you know there were
独♥立♥战争战役吗
some Revolutionary War battles around here?
我对这方面有点兴趣 你们看过《汉密尔顿》吗
I'm a bit of a buff. You guys seen Hamilton?
开始了 他是汉密尔顿迷哎
TREVOR: Here we go. He's, Ham- head.
如果这你都还性致盎然 那就没有能让你反感的事了
If this doesn't turn you off, I don't know what will.
看过 相当好看
Yeah, it's incredible.
如果你喜欢的话
If you like that sort of thing.
就我个人而言 我认为他不太算得上是开国元勋
Personally, I consider him a lesser Founding Father.
什么 美联储
What? I mean, Federal Reserve?
有什么了不起的
Big whoop.
说的就跟他们想不出来似的
Like they weren't gonna come up with that anyway.
那哥们就是个笑话
Eh, guy was a joke.
我得去透口气
I need air!
刚刁太棒了
That was amazing
我确实是制♥服♥控
I do love a man in uniform.
嘿 说到非常具体的幻想
Hey, speaking of very specific fantasies,
你不会对
you wouldn't be interested
漂流的角色扮演感兴趣吧
in a little river rafting role play, would you?
我说不好 皮特
I don't know, Pete.
湍流肯定很汹涌可怕吧
I bet the rapids are rough and scary,
所以你必须紧紧抱住我
so you'd have to hold me close.
吻我 皮特·马蒂诺
Kiss me, Pete Martino.
我就喜欢服从命令
I love following orders.
怎么了 怎么了
Ah! What? What?
我的手 没了
My hand! It's gonel
不 是被食人鱼吃了吗
Oh, no! Did a piranha get it?
不不不 这不是漂流幻想
No, no, no, this isn't the rafting fantasy!
嘿 兄弟
CHRIS: Hey, mate.
今天会来多少客人呀
How many people are we expecting today?
坦白讲
Uh......Full disclosure:
只会有萨曼和我
it's just gonna be Sam and I,
可我们还是希望你能像屋里人满为患一样打碟
but we still want you to DJ as if it's a packed room.
可以
Okay.
你不觉得奇怪吗 上次我过来
You don't find that weird? Last time I was here,
你老婆让我为一把空椅子跳舞 所以
your wife had me dance for an empty chair, so...
我无权质疑你的癖好
it's not for me to question your kink.
谢谢 快速
Thank you. Just gonna run
试个音 可能会有点吵
a quick soundcheck. Might get a little loud.
这是音乐吗
This is music?
大家怎么跟着这个跳四方舞啊
How is anyone gonna dance a quadrille to this?
他们是真的在挑战我们的容忍♥度啊
They're really rubbing our noses in this wedding.
鬼鬼甚至都没法吃东西
Ghosts can't even eat.
实际上就没有任何额外费用 也没有负面影响
There's literally no added cost, no downside.
这就是私人恩怨
It's just personal.
谢谢你们陪我一起到下面来
Thanks for hanging out with me down here.
真的很感谢 嘿
I really appreciate it. Hey,
如果三角关系中任何一个不被允许参加婚礼
if one of the throuple isn't allowed at the wedding,
那三个人就都不去了
then none of the throuple is going.
团结一致
Solidarity.
不过婚礼还有一小时才开始
Although wedding is not for another hour or so.