假亦真（2014）

Faking It S02E01

Part 2 April 15, 2021, 12:05 p.m.

And I'm turning over a new leaf.
不再泄露别人的秘密你原谅我吗
No more outing people's secrets. Forgive me?
不原谅
Nope.
但我可以如果你愿意为我做一件事
But I could... If you can do something for me.
是帮你化妆吗
Is it a makeover?
因为我有很多点子
Because I have lots of ideas.
搞笑死了
Hilarious.
不明天别让汤米把我的秘密告诉全校人
No, keep Tommy from spilling my secret at school tomorrow
永远也不让
and forever.
那我就原谅你
Then I will forgive you.
你怎么知道他没给大伙儿群发短♥信♥啊
How do you know he hasn't texted everyone already?
因为我偷走了他的手♥机♥ 用直发器烫化了
Because I stole his phone and melted it with my flat iron.
成交交给我吧
Oh, deal. I got this.
我只用借我妈妈的车
Just need to borrow my mom's car.
但是你原谅我后能告诉我
But after you forgive me, will you tell me
那些药是治什么的吗
what those pills are for?
你没事吧甜甜熊
you okay, sugar bear?
你昨晚哭得好厉害
You were crying so hard last night,
我都没听清是怎么回事
I never heard what happened.
你俩为什么分手了
Why did you two break up?
你也许该坐下
You should probably sit down.
年轻拉拉之间的分手
Oh, dear, breakups between teenage lesbians
会特别残忍♥
can be especially brutal.
我们在同性恋亲友会一直聊这个
We talk about it all the time in PFLAG.
说到这里我跟你说了吗
Oh, speaking of, did I tell you?
他们选我为主席了真是一份殊荣
They elected me president. Such an honor.
妈妈这真好
Mom, that's great.
所以这个安全小空间更安全了
So this safe space just got a little safer.
我俩为什么分手根本无关紧要
You know, it doesn't even matter why we broke up.
我想挽回她我不知道
I just--I want to get her back, and I can't figure out
要怎么做上网也找不到好办法
how to do that, and even the Internet's stumped.
我能感受她渐行渐远这让我很害怕
I can feel her pulling away, and it scares me.
亲爱的你为什么不
Oh, sweetie, why don't you just
直接向她展示她对你有多重要呢
show her how much she means to you?
你是阿什克罗夫特家的人
You're an Ashcroft.
我们很擅长表现戏剧性的浪漫之举
We're experts at big, dramatic gestures of affection.
是吗
We are?
有次我和你♥爸♥大吵一架之后
Once, after a nasty fight,
他开车载我去沙漠中间
your dad drove me out into the middle of the desert.
我承认一开始我有点害怕
Now, at first I was a little scared, I'll admit,
但他烧了一大堆火来向我展示
but he built this huge fire to show me
他心中的激♥情♥
the passion in his heart.
是吗
He did?
是啊不但我深受感动
Yeah, not only was I deeply touched,
火人节也是这样开始的
but that's how Burning Man started.
你会失去什么啊不成功便成仁对吧
So what have you got to lose? Go big or go home, right?
我撞上了卡玛
I ran into Karma.
看你这闷闷不乐的样子我猜结局不妙吧
I'm guessing from your broodiness it didn't go well.
我们结束了
We're done.
完了
Finito.
昨晚发生了那种事我俩绝对
After what happened last night, there's zero chance
不可能重归于好了
we're ever going to get back together,
这都是我的错
and it's all my fault.
天啊又来了
Yowzer, here we go again.
利亚姆你不必内疚你没做错事
Liam, enough with the guilt. You didn't do anything wrong.
-我做错了 -不是卡玛撒谎了
- No, I did. - No, Karma is the one who lied,
一次又一次来得偿所愿
over and over again to get what she wanted.
就连我都觉得那样很自私
Even I think that's selfish.
除了她的头发
Other than her hair,
我不明白你和艾米痴迷她哪一点
I don't get what you and Amy are so gaga about.
艾米
Amy?
我说艾米了吗我是说杰米
Did I say Amy? I meant Jamie.
巴克纳那个口吃男
Buckner, the kid with the stutter?
他觉得卡玛超可可爱
He thinks karma is ad-adorable.
你说了她们是在装拉拉
You said they were faking being lesbians.
卡玛是
Karma is.
艾米很迷恋卡玛无法自拔
Amy's so tied up in Karma, she's practically a pretzel.
显然昨晚她对卡玛表白了
Apparently she told Karma she loved her last night,
而卡玛拒绝了她
and Karma rejected her.
她表白了
She did?
你必须向我保证不说出去
You have to promise me you won't say anything
那件事或这件事都不说
about that or about this.
这就是你要我帮的忙吗
This is what you need help with?
我把他装进去了
I got him in there,
但没办法取出来
but there's no way I can get him out.
马上来宝贝
Be right there, baby.
我的墨镜在哪
Oh, where the hell are my sunglasses?
在你头上
They're on your head.
谢谢你
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
征服坎昆城需要这东西
Can't conquer Cancun without these.
我喘不过气了妈
I can't breathe, mom.
你在家独自待一周没事吧
Are you going to be okay home alone for a week?
我不是一个人劳伦也在
I won't be alone. Lauren's here.
我们回家不会看到犯罪现场对吗
We're not going to come home to a crime scene, are we?
我可不想因为这种事上头条
That is not the way I want to get on Dateline.
我被禁足了我无所谓
Well, I'm grounded. I have nothing to lose.
亲爱的忘了禁足吧我反应过激了
Oh, honey, forget about that. I overreacted.
没事我应该被禁足
It's okay. I deserve to be grounded.
禁一辈子
For the rest of my life.
只是两个闺蜜跳一段愚蠢的舞而已
It was just a silly dance between two best friends.
我们走了以后你好好玩
Now, you have fun while we're gone.
记得用保护措施
Just use protection.
我床下有根垒球棒
I have a softball bat under my bed.
等我回来再聊吧
Oh, well, we'll talk when I get back.
爱你么么
Love you! Mwah.
-这是绑♥架♥ -其实更像勒索
- This is kidnapping. - It's really more blackmail.
我们会给这个混♥蛋♥
We're going to take photos of this asshole
拍下骇人和变♥态♥的照片
that are so shocking and deviant,
他就不会告诉别人我的秘密了
he'll never tell anyone my secret.
正好我妈在她的后备箱卖♥♥性♥爱♥玩具
Conveniently, my mom sells sex toys out of the trunk of her car.
各位这是违法的而且让人很不舒服
Guys, guys, this is illegal and highly disturbing.
劳伦你的秘密到底有多糟啊
Lauren, how bad could this secret be?
我不会告诉你我的秘密
Ugh, I'm not telling you my secret.
她不会的相信我我试过
She's not. Trust me, I tried.
各位我同意艾米
Guys, I'm with Amy.
也许秘密曝出来是好事
Maybe it's a good thing this thing gets out.
常言道有秘密的人才变♥态♥
They say you're only as sick as your secrets.
什么不谁说过你脑中的声音吗
What? No, who says that? Who, the voices in your head?
让他们闭嘴
Tell 'em to shut up.
我改主意了我同意
I changed my mind. I'm on board.
这里是美国我们有权拥有秘密
This is America. We are all entitled to our secrets.
我们失陪一下
Will you excuse us for a second?
你说什么呢
What the hell was that?
"有秘密的人才变♥态♥"
"You're only as sick as your secrets"?
抱歉但我太内疚难受了
I'm sorry, but the guilt is killing me.
这位小盆友一直在抱怨呢
Oh, this little piggy went boo-hoo-hoo all the way home.
男人点
Man up.
听着我也很难受但如果卡玛发现
Look, it's killing me too, but what would it do to Karma
她的伴侣跟你睡了她会怎么想
if she found out that her soul mate slept with you?
所以呢我们假装什么都没发生过吗
So what, we just pretend it never happened?
发生过什么
What happened?
瞧瞧多简单
See how easy that was?
在我们永不提起这事之前你别忘了
And before we never speak of this again, do I need to add
昨晚的悲剧还包括染上梅毒
contracting syphilis to last night's list of tragic events?
-不我没病 -你有证明吗
- No, I'm clean. - Do you have any documentation?
我上次体♥检♥之后
The only girl I've had sex with
只和卡玛做过爱
since I last got tested was Karma.
-还有... -是的好吧
- And now-- - Yeah, okay.
你是利亚姆·布克赫斯特高中的花♥花♥公♥子♥
Well, you're Liam Booker, Hester's own Hugh Hefner.
-卡玛改变了我 -真的吗
- Karma changed all of that. - Oh, really?
如果是这样你为什么还跟我睡