离婚

Not your parents ''cause they don''t knock.
不是你父母 因为他们不敲门
That''s so dumb.
真蠢
Oh, my God!
天啊
So gorgeous! Look that at that almost 13 year old.
真美 瞧瞧这快13岁的姑娘
So sweet, right?
真有爱 对吧
Sorry, hold on a second.
抱歉 等等
Hello? No, no, no, no! Wait, wait!
喂 不不不 等等
Hello? Sorry. She''s here!
喂 抱歉 她来了
The Jackal is here. Wait, what?
豺狼来了 等等 什么
Where are you? In my house.
你在哪里 家里
Robert brought her to dinner.
罗伯特带她来吃晚餐了
Oh, my God, I can''t breathe.
天啊 我没法呼吸了
Well, that''s like...
那是
that''s trespassing.
那是非法入侵
Is it? Well, it''s hostile.
是吗 那很有敌意
That''s a hostile takeover of my friends.
有敌意地接管了我的朋友
What''s he trying to do? I don''t know, show off, I guess.
他想干什么 我不知道 炫耀吧
But honestly, I wouldn''t worry about it.
但说实话 我不会担心的
I mean, she''s not you, trust me.
她又不是你 相信我
What is she like? Like
她是什么样的
what are they what are they like?
他们是什么样的
I don''t know, I mean, I guess they''re kind of cute.
他们挺甜蜜的
They kind of banter back and forth.
来回开玩笑
I suppose I suppose she''s attractive?
她挺有魅力吧
Mm, beachy. Kind of beachy, beachy hair.
婊里婊气的 婊里婊气的头发
Oh, my God. Blonde, super shiny.
天啊 金色 超闪亮
Oh, and she wearing a fedora.
她还戴着软呢帽
Women who wear hats, very specific.
戴帽子的女人 很明确
I know, and she actually looks good in it.
我知道 她戴帽子挺好看的
God, if I wore a fedora, I''d look like Mickey Rourke.
天啊 如果我戴着软呢帽 我会像是米基·洛克
Oh, and get this, she calls him Robbie.
还有 听好了 她叫他罗比
No, she doesn''t. Yes, she does.
不是吧 是的
And Robbie is wearing a leather jacket,
罗比穿着皮夹克
Robbie has paste in his hair,
头发涂了发胶
and Robbie is wearing a leather necklace!
还戴着皮项链
What?! Although, I might''ve made that part up, actually.
什么 那也许是我编的
My God, who is this woman?
天啊 这女人是谁啊
Oh, I have great idea.
我有个很棒的主意
Okay, I''m gonna hang up,
我要挂电♥话♥了
but check your phone in 30 seconds, okay?
但30秒后看你的手♥机♥ 好吗
Okay, okay.
好 好
Perfect.
完美
Got it.
拍到了
Send, send, send.
发送
Wine!
红酒
Thanks for nothing, Diane.
得了吧 黛安
What the fuck are you doing? You''re insane.
你在干什么 你疯了
Oh, my God.
天啊
So, uh, what do you think of Jackie?
你觉得杰姬怎么样
Oh, she''s terrific! She is, right?
她超棒的 是吧
Yeah! Yeah.
是啊 嗯
It''s like I hit the fucking lottery.
我像是中彩票了
I mean, I really I thought I was gonna be out there
我真以为自己要
shaking the tree for a while,
大海捞针一会儿
going to Knicks games alone,
自己去看尼克斯队的比赛
meeting other women, fucking up.
见见别的女人 搞一搞
And then Jackie just sneaks up on me.
然后杰姬就偷偷靠近我了
I think she''s really something special.
我觉得她真的很特别
I met Diane at the glove counter at Saks.
我是在萨克斯百货的手套柜台认识黛安的
I bought gloves for my wife,
我给我老婆买♥♥了手套
and I was done with my wife
我就跟我老婆了结了
and my search for true love
同时了结的还有我对真爱的寻找
and, I guess, my search for gloves.
以及我对手套的寻找
I haven''t introduced her to Frances yet.
我还没把她介绍给弗朗西丝
That''s the next hurdle.
那是下一个障碍
I think it could be a little dicey.
我觉得可能有些冒险
Yeah, that''s a terrible idea.
那是个很糟糕的主意
I''m gonna handle this like a peace treaty, you know?
我要像和平条约一样处理这事
Frances over here, Jackie over here,
弗朗西丝在这 杰姬在那
me right in the middle with a big smile on my face.
我在正中间 脸上挂着大大的笑容
I''m gonna keep things light and airy.
我要让事情保持轻快
Maybe even do it from a moving car.
也许从开着的车里这样做
Maybe just don''t even do it at all.
也许根本就别这样做
See this scar?
瞧见这伤疤了吧
That''s from the first time Carolyn met Diane at the movies.
这是卡洛琳和黛安第一次见面看电影时弄的
D版》 "Jurassic Park 3D."
《侏罗纪公园3
Wouldn''t think those flimsy glasses could break skin.
没想到脆弱的眼镜能划破皮
Never thought of Carolyn as a stabber.
没想到卡洛琳还会刺人
They all are.
她们都会
Fuck.
该死
Hi, Frances.
弗朗西丝
Hey, listen to me
听我说
Robert has brought his new girlfriend
罗伯特带他的新女友
over to Nick and Diane''s house.
去了尼克和黛安家
Now, Diane always sees the good,
黛安总是看别人的优点
so I need you to go over there right now,
所以我需要你现在过去
and see something bad, okay?
看看她的缺点 好吗
I see the "Ohio Method" Still has some kinks to work out.
看来俄亥俄疗法还得解决一些缺陷
I appreciate your faith in me. I''m on it.
感谢你对我的信任 我去了
You''re true blue. Bye.
你真可靠 再见
Oh, I don''t have to freaking run anymore.
我没必要跑步了
It was 100K off the asking.
报价减去十万
Anyway, I thought to myself, "Who is this crazy woman?"
总之 我想着 这疯狂的女人是谁啊
Well, now this crazy woman owns your house.
现在这疯狂的女人买♥♥下了你的房♥子
Aw, you do own my house. You two are so cute.
的确 你俩真有爱
Did you invite someone without telling me?
你没告诉我就邀请人了吗
I left a message on your cell.
我给你手♥机♥上留言了
Oh, did you?
是吗
Dallas? Hey, I was spring cleaning
达拉斯 我在春季大扫除
and I found Nick''s bowl, so I thought I would return it.
发现了尼克的碗 我想着我要还回来
Where is she?
她在哪里
We''re just finishing up pizza.
我们刚吃完披萨
Look who''s here! Dallas?
瞧瞧谁来了 达拉斯
Jackie?
杰姬
Robbie.
罗比
Dallas?
达拉斯
Wait, how do you know...?
等等 你怎么认识
This is crazy. Dallas is my shrink.
这真疯狂 达拉斯是我的心理医生
What a funny
真是有趣
and a an extremely unethical coincidence this is.
而且非常不道德的巧合
I, uh...
我
I''m gonna I''m gonna go home now.
我现在要回家了
Was that my mixing bowl?
那是我的搅拌碗吗
Dal?
达尔
You know, uh, I can''t be late for my train.
我可不能耽误了火车
I called you all last night.
我昨天给你打电♥话♥了
I called you again this morning.
今早又给你打了
Frances, I can''t. You can''t what?
弗朗西丝 我做不到 做不到什么
I can''t talk about her. Why?
我不能谈论她 什么
Oh, my God, you couldn''t make this up.
天啊 这不可能是你编的
You''re more likely to get struck by lightning
你更可能被闪电击中了
or crushed in an elevator shaft.
或者在电梯井里被压碎
Dallas?
达拉斯
She''s my patient.
她是我的病人
Jackie is my patient.
杰姬是我的病人
I''m her therapist.
我是她的心理医生
What?
什么
That''s fantastic!
太棒了
No, it''s not.
不是
No. Oh, my God, is she the patient that has, um, t the Tricho
天啊 她是不是开了家美发沙龙