离婚

but the guy in the store was extremely passionate,
但酒店里的人非常热情
so, I hope it''s drinkable.
希望能喝
This is my friend Frances.
这是我朋友弗朗西丝
Frances, I would like you to meet Andrew.
弗朗西丝 这是安德鲁
Hi. Hello.
嗨 你好
Hi Andrew, how are ya? Good to see you.
安德鲁 你好吗 很高兴见到你
Good to see you. Glad you''re here.
很高兴见到你 你来了真好
What is happening? Well, Frances,
怎么回事 弗朗西丝
Andrew and I actually met
安德鲁和我是在
at a benefit for juvenile diabetes last year.
去年的青少年糖尿病义卖♥♥活动上遇见的
It was a blast. Nick couldn''t go,
那很愉快 尼克没法去
and I was seated at the world''s most boring table.
我坐在了世界上最无聊的一桌上
Literally no one had a pulse,
没人有激♥情♥
the average age was, like, deceased,
他们的平均年龄都老得要进棺材了
and then there was Andrew, who saved my life.
然后安德鲁救了我的命
Are you kidding? You saved mine.
你开玩笑吗 是你救了我的命
This woman knows how to sneak out of a party.
这女人知道如何在派对上溜走
Oh, I''m a pro. I know.
我是专家 我知道
Oh! Oh, he''s welding.
他在焊接
Smells amazing, whatever it is. It''s incredible.
不管那是什么 闻起来真棒 棒极了
Et voila! Oh, yeah, that''s...
瞧瞧 那...
Oh, my God. Oh, it''s gorgeous.
天啊 真美
Ah, it smells so good. What''s the matter?
闻起来真香 怎么了
You don''t eat duck?
你不吃鸭子吗
Uh, no, not really.
不吃
I mean I love duck, but I I''m not supposed to eat it.
我爱鸭子 但我不能吃
My cholesterol''s sky high. Oh, well, that''s too bad.
我的胆固醇太高了 真糟糕
But I can eat all the other sides... Diane.
但我可以吃配菜 黛安
which look amazing.
看起来很棒 ...
I I''m very sorry, honey.
很抱歉 亲爱的
You know what, it''s fuck my cholesterol.
知道吗 管他的胆固醇
I will have a few bites. That''s what Crestor is for, right?
我吃几口 可定药就是降胆固醇的
Yeah, definitely. And, Nick, I love duck, so I can eat both
绝对是 尼克 我爱吃鸭肉 我可以吃
I''ll eat both breasts. That''s not the point.
两个鸭胸都归我吃 那不是重点
The point is that Diane was supposed to ask our dinner guests
重点是黛安本来该问晚餐的客人
if anyone had any dietary issues.
谁有饮食问题
It''s fine, really. It''s so fine. It''s not fine!
没事 真的 没事 有事
I enjoy cooking. I want my guests to eat and enjoy what I cook.
我喜欢烹饪 我希望客人吃我的食物 并很享受
I could''ve just as easily made my black cod!
我本可以轻松地做黑鳕鱼
I could''ve made Arctic char, I was just at the fish place.
我本可以做红点鲑 我去了鱼贩那
I could''ve made branzino,
我本可以做海鲈鱼
I could''ve made Dover sole,
我本可以做多佛比目鱼
I could''ve made a fucking trout!
我本可以做该死的鳟鱼
Fluke! Thank you.
鲽形目鱼 谢谢
Sure. Skate!
不客气 鳐鱼
Let''s get out of here, hot in there. Crappie!
走吧 里面好冷 小翻车鱼
Oh, you had to go and have high cholesterol.
你得走了 你胆固醇很高啊
Seriously. But for the record, I''ve never had a cavity.
真的 但是告诉你 我没有蛀牙
Bragger.
吹牛
So, uh, what''s your story?
说说你的事吧
Diane didn''t really say.
黛安没怎么说
What''s my story? Yeah.
我的事吗 对
Hmm, uh, let''s see.
我想想
Well, I got married when I was young
我年轻时结婚了
I mean, not crazy young, I was 28.
不算太年轻 我当时28岁
and we were kind of opposites. I mean, I don''t know.
我们恰恰相反 我不知道 ...
I thought at the time it was a good thing, you know,
那时候我以为这是件好事
like we would complement one another.
我们能互补
Mm hmm. But it turns out,
嗯 但结果
um, no, not complementary.
并不互补
So, you''re divorced. Yes.
所以你们离婚了 是的
Thanks, yes. God, I remember that time so well.
谢谢 对 天啊 我清楚地记得那段时间
I hated having to go through
我讨厌每次遇到某人时
the saga of it every time I ran into somebody.
都要经历一遍那个故事
I ended up sending a mass email to everyone I know.
我最后给我认识的所有人群发了邮件
It''s so tacky, right? Efficient.
很没教养 是吧 很有效率
Maybe. Truth is the beginning is rough,
也许吧 事实是 一开始很难
there''s no way around it.
这没有捷径
But here''s what you''re in for
但这是一个好处
everyone you know is gonna be setting you up
你认识的所有人都会撮合你
with totally random individuals.
和完全随机的人
Apparently.
显然是
Uh, did you know about this tonight?
你知道今晚的事吗
Full disclosure, you are not
我就坦白了 你并不是
the first person that Diane has set me up with.
黛安给我撮合的第一个人
Got it.
知道了
So, now that you''re single, are you are you, you know...?
你现在单身了 你
What''s that? You know, swiping?
那是什么 在交友软件上滑动吗
Oh, swiping. The dating, swiping.
滑动啊 约会 滑动
No, no, no, no, I haven''t taken the plunge yet, no.
没有 我还没有冒险尝试
It''s sort of like Disneyland,
那就像是迪斯尼乐园
like, I''m putting it off as long as possible.
我要尽可能推迟
Well don''t start because you''re clearly a mess, I can tell.
别开始约会 因为你明显一团糟 我能看出
Really, I''m a mess? Yeah.
真的吗 我一团糟 是啊
Yeah, a walking disaster, I''d say.
我会说你是行走的灾难
Wow, if I wanted to suffer this kind of abuse,
如果我想受这种毒舌
I could''ve stayed home with my teenage daughter.
我♥干♥脆待在家和我的青春期女儿待一起好了
What about your cholesterol?
你的胆固醇呢
This is my one red meat night of the month.
这是我这个月唯一一个红肉之夜
I would like to enjoy it.
我想享受
Is that asking too much?
这太过分了吗
I know the night''s all about you, Diane.
我知道今晚的重点全是你 黛安
It was all about you and your...
全都是你和你
Ever wonder why they''re still married
想过为什么他们还结着婚
and we''re divorced?
而我们离婚了吗
fucking duck!
该死的鸭子 ...
Are you questioning my devotion to the Mets?
你在质疑我对大都会队的热爱吗
I don''t know, should I be? You seem very touchy about it.
我不知道 我该质疑吗 你似乎很敏感
I''m starting to think that''s only reason why you texted me.
我开始觉得那是你给我发短♥信♥的唯一原因
Actually, Tony, I texted you for a real reason.
实际上 托尼 我给你发短♥信♥有正当的理由
I''ll bet you did.
肯定是
Wait for it. No, you''re not oh, boy.
等着 你不... 天啊
Wait for it. Um, okay.
等着 好
Can I could we can I get the check, please?
这里买♥♥单
Your new apartment is nice! Thanks.
你的新公♥寓♥不错啊 谢谢
So, what do you wanna do, Robert?
你想做什么 罗伯特
In life, I would like to pursue To me.
在人生中 我想从事 对我
You are so shy, it is fucking hot.
你真害羞 太他妈性感了
You know, I was surprised to hear from you.
你联♥系♥我我很惊讶
It''s been so long, I just assumed that
过了很久了 我还以为
you and Frances were giving it another shot.
你和弗朗西丝要再试一次了
No, no, that''s over.
不 那完蛋了
She''s getting smaller in the rear view by the day.
随着日子的流逝 她逐渐远去
Mm, okay, then.
那好吧
So, you must have some fantasies, hmm?
你肯定有些幻想 是吧
Well, I''ve seen some stuff online
我在网上看过一些东西
that wasn''t completely uninteresting.
还有点意思
Yeah, like what?
比如呢
You want me to pee on you?
你想让我尿在你身上吗
Get you all wet, hmm?
把你弄湿
No, thank you, but...
不要 谢谢 但是
Well, how about foot sex?
足交怎么样
I got really fat toes.
我脚趾很肥大
Yeah, you do. How would that work?
是啊 那要怎么做
Oh, I could put my big toe in your ass.
我可以把大拇指捅进你菊花
Or any toe, whatever.
或者任何脚趾 随便啦
That is a generous offer, Janice...
你真慷慨大方 珍妮丝
but I''m gonna pass.
我还是不要了 ...
Okay. But let me ask you about something else.
好 我想问问你别的事
P I''ve never been involved in a threesome.
我从未参加过3