离婚

I''m officially divorced. Now what?
我正式离婚了 现在怎么做 ‭
You know? It''s like one minute, you''re married,
前一分钟你还结着婚
and the next minute it''s like, "Yeah, bye bye, see ya.
下一分钟就是 拜拜 再见了
Nice knowin'' ya."
很高兴认识你
I have to go. I have a client emergency.
我得走了 客户有急事
I''m not your biggest emergency?
我不是你最大的急事吗
Oh, not by far.
差远了
Robert gets the children for dinners.
罗伯特可以跟孩子们吃晚餐
Until he gets the walls on the bathroom.
在他的浴室有墙壁之前
they do not spend the night.
孩子们不能过夜
I know you''re against it with money right now.
我知道你现在钱不够
I need some expert hands. Pays 20 bucks an hour.
我需要一些专家 一小时20块
I want to live with you, not her.
我想跟你住一起 不是她
I am the one that always has to say no to her.
我总得对她说不
You''re the good guy. You''re the fun one
而你是好人 你有趣
You shaved your mustache. I did.
你剃了胡子 是啊
Your face looks less...
因为你的脸看起来没那么
Is that a compliment?
这是表扬我吗
I need to move on.
我得翻篇
Clear out all the old shit and just start fresh.
抛开过去 重新开始
Oh, okay!
好
On your left, on your left! I see him, I see him!
你的左边 我看见他了
You''re making me nervous.
你让我很紧张
Calm down. Oh, God.
冷静点 天啊
Sorry.
抱歉
Oh, hey, Lila, I got a reminder about the family culture thing,
莱拉 我有个家庭文化活动的提醒事项
you know, at school on Friday.
周五在学校的活动
What''s so funny? Who is that, Ava?
有什么好笑的 那是谁 伊娃吗
No.
不是
Well, I''ve never been able to go to that event,
我从来没能参加过那活动
and I want us to make a super impression.
我希望我们留下超棒的印象
So, um, what do you think we should make?
所以 你觉得我们该做什么
They say that you''re supposed to bring something
他们说你该带
that represents your heritage.
代表你家传统的东西
I know very little about our family''s heritage.
我不大了解我们家的传统
I think we come from a long line of very white people.
我想我们的祖先好多代都是纯白人
You''re not going to work like that, are you?
你不会那样工作吧
You look freaky.
你看起来很奇怪
Of course not.
当然不会
Dad always makes Irish soda bread.
爸爸总是做♥爱♥尔兰苏打面包
It''s not a big deal, you don''t even have to come.
那不是什么大事 你甚至没必要来
Slow?
慢行
I''d kill for slow.
要了亲命了
Hey, guys, you''re taking up the whole lane.
各位 你们占了整个车道
Can we, um can we, you know, make way for ducklings?
能不能为了小鸭子让一让
Well, that was hostile.
真敌意
Did you see that?
你们看见了吗
Hey, sir, can you cut me a break?
先生 能让一让吗
I''m trying to get my children to school!
我想送小孩上学呢
Mom, stop! I''m not a child.
妈妈 别说了 我不是小孩了
Back car''s moving, Robert!
后面的车开了 罗伯特
Watch your back!
小心身后
Wow, I guess that''s I guess that''s your Dad''s new job.
我想那是你们爸爸的新工作
Yeah. Are you happy now?
是啊 你现在高兴了吗
What''s that supposed to mean, Lila?
这话是什么意思 莱拉
What is that supposed to mean?
这是什么意思
Stop arguing with me!
别跟我吵了
Just okay, great. You''re good!
好 你很好
Don''t forget, I''m picking you up at 4:00,
别忘了 我四点来接你
but I''ll be on this side of the street.
我会在街道这边
Thanks, Tom.
谢谢 汤姆
Okay ooh bye, honey! Have a good day!
好 再见 亲爱的 祝你今天愉快
We''ll think of something good to make for Friday, okay?
我们会想好周五带什么去的 好吗
And good luck with your math quiz, sweetie! Oh, um, Mom.
祝你数学考试顺利 亲爱的 妈妈
Mom, this one''s falling out.
妈妈 这个掉下来了
Oh. Oh, jeez.
天啊
Honey, thanks.
亲爱的 谢谢
What would I do without you?
没你我可怎么办啊
A hug? Hug, hug.
抱一个吗 抱抱
Later! Houdini!
再见 魔术大♥师♥啊
Little Houdini! Bye!
小魔术师 再见
And she was like, "Daddy,
她说 爸爸
if we''re not allowed to eat in the living room,
如果我们不能在客厅吃东西
then why do I find crumbs in the couch every morning?"
那我为什么每天早上都会在沙发上发现面包屑
And I''m like, "''Cause we eat dessert
我说 因为每晚你睡觉之后
every fucking night out there after you''re asleep!"
我们都在沙发上吃甜点
Yeah.
嗯
Yeah, now that I''m divorced,
现在我离婚了
I can pretty much eat dessert wherever I want.
想在哪里吃甜点都行
Even on the toilet, nobody cares.
甚至在马桶上 没人在乎
I could pretty much die in my sleep
如果我睡着睡着死掉了
and nobody would find me for days
好几天里也不会有人发现我
unless it was on a Wednesday evening or alternating weekend.
除非是周三晚上或者是每隔一周的周末
Then my kids would find me.
那我的孩子们会发现我
Guys, you wanna get a beer sometime after work?
各位 你们想下班后喝杯啤酒吗
Sure dude, we''ll go. Really?
当然 我们会去 真的吗
Mm hmm, yeah. Oh, cool, yeah.
是啊 真好
You know, now that I have this much free time on my hands,
现在我有许多空闲时间
maybe I should take a Spanish class.
也许我该上西班牙语课
That''d be good.
挺好的
That way, we can...
那样的话 我们就可以
yeah?
是吧
Yet again, I''m the bad guy.
我又一次成了坏人
He''s the noble one, sweeping the road.
他是好人 扫着马路
I feel like I got sole custody of Lila''s inner bitch.
我感觉我有莱拉内心贱♥人♥的唯一监护权
It''s really unpleasant.
让我非常不愉快
Well, if it makes you feel better,
这话也许能让你好受些
she''d probably hate your guts
就算你们没离婚
just as much even without the divorce.
她说不定也恨你入骨
That does.
的确让我好受些了
I mean, you can''t take it personally.
你别太往心里去
It''s not about you,
这跟你无关
but, no, I mean, it is about you,
但是 不 这和你有关系
but, yeah, you''re fucked.
但是 对 你完蛋了
I keep trying to pick my battles.
我一直在努力选择战斗
You know, I''m afraid I''m gonna be in a grocery store
我害怕我会在杂货店里
and I''m gonna be forced, you know, to wring her neck,
被迫扭断她的脖子
and Child Services is gonna come and take me away.
儿童保护处的人就会来把我带走
Well, technically, they would take Lila away.
严格来说他们会把莱拉带走
Oh, really? Well, then I''ll leave that option on the table.
真的吗 那我保留这个选项
It''s just did I ever tell you about this woman
只是 我跟你说过这女人吗
um, we affectionately call her Crazy Courtney
我们亲切地称她为疯狂的考特妮
who ripped into her daughter at drop off?
她送她女儿上学时狠狠批评了她
I mean, it''s it''s legendary.
简直是个传奇
Anyway, she cannot step foot on school property.
总之 她再也不能走进学校的校区
This poor woman has to drop her kid off,
这可怜的女人得在街道对面
like, across the street.
让她的孩子下车
Who''s Facetiming you?
谁在跟你视频通话
No idea, no, thanks.
不知道 挂断
I''m sitting here, jerking off,
我坐在这里打飞机
thinking about your tight, fat, wet, pink pussy...
想着你的又紧又肥又湿又粉的骚♥逼♥
Oh, my lord, who is that?
天啊 那是谁啊
wrapped around my massive cock
裹着哥的大老二 ...
Who talks like that?
谁那样说话啊
Who talks like that?
谁那样说话啊
Who is that?!
那是谁
Does she wanna join in? Is that...?
她想加入吗 那是
Three''s company. Is that...?!
三人行 那是
Fuck!
草
Oh, my God!
天啊