说唱王戴夫

Dave S02E05

Part 4 Feb. 6, 2022, 2:46 p.m.

我只是得给我的手♥机♥充电
I just need to charge my phone.
不行
No!
别碰那里
No touch!
你认真的吗 -不行
Are you serious? - No!
我只是想给我的手♥机♥充个电哥们
I'm just trying to charge my phone, bro.
走开
Go away, man!
嗨先生我的手♥机♥没电了
Hey, sir, my phone's dead, man.
你能借我一下你车上的充电器吗 -抱歉
You mind if I use your car charger? - Sorry.
为什么这些破事都发生在我身上
Why the fuck this shit got to happen to me?
嘿
Hey.
我能用下墙上的插座给我手♥机♥充个电吗
Can I use a wall outlet to charge my phone?
我们还没开门
We're not open.
你能帮帮我吗已经很迟了
Man, I need some help. It's late out here.
抱歉
Sorry, man.
拜托...
Man, come...
噢该死
Oh, fuck.
你好
Hello?
嘿我叫戴维安特·甘特
Hey, my name is Davionte Ganter.
我的车刚被拖走了
My car just got towed.
是一辆04年产的金黄色雪弗兰黑斑羚
It's a gold 2004 Chevy Impala.
好的米尔街3241号♥
Okay. 3241 Mill Street.
好的谢谢你
All right. Thank you.
米尔街3241号♥ 米尔街3241号♥
3241 Mill Street. 3241 Mill Street.
谢谢你 -不谢
Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
西亚当斯拖车场
该死的
Fuck, man.
哟
Yo!
西亚当斯拖车场
营业时间
周一到周五 : 早上七点—下午五点
周六: 早上八点—晚上十二点 · 周日: 关闭
我要在这待多久
How long do I have to do this shit?
按照合同来说你得和他聊20分钟
Contractually, you got to talk to him for 20 minutes.
我给他25分钟因为我还挺喜欢做这个的 -好样的
I'll give him 25, 'cause I like this. - Attaboy.
我想有些事我还是先翻篇吧
I might as well just get it over with, then.
好吧... -什么事发生什么了
All right, well... - What is that? What was that?
什么 -你大度一点
What? - Be the bigger man.
不要他做错了我也没...
No. He's-he's wrong, and I'm not...
才不要
No way.
好了朋友们
All right, guys, uh,
我可以加入你们这群犹太男孩吗
you mind if I join this group of Jewish boys?
我看这里种族挺多元的
Or I suppose there's multiracial things happening.
我可以和你们一起玩吗
But can I hang out with you?
可以啊
Yeah.
你们之中哪个人的小鸡鸡最大
which one of you guys has the biggest cock?
好我们走一起去玩吧
All right, let's go, let's hang out.
我的儿子达伦像个运动员
My boy Darren is such an athlete.
一种儿童版棒球游戏
他几次跟人在乐乐棒球的场地上打起来
I've broken up four or five fights on the T-ball field,
因为他太投入了
'cause he just gets so into it.
真的吗 -他几乎每场比赛都要冲上投手丘
Really? - He charges the mound almost every game.
在乐乐棒球比赛里 -没错
In T-ball? - A hundred percent.
哇哦 -当他第一个跑过去的时候
Wow. - And is he running through first?
我经常和他讲 "穿过去右转
I always tell him, "Run through, turn right.
往左转你就活下来了"
You turn left, you're live."
所以他经常会和人打起来然后...
So he's gotten in a couple of scraps, and...
我就得处理这些问题说实话
and that's something that I need to work on, to be honest.
必须得带一点互相爱护的心态
You know it's got to be a love in there.
不能只有暴♥力♥的一面
It can't just be all aggro.
你得爱你的孩子
You got to love the kid.
你懂吗
You know?
Lechayim = To life 犹太人的敬酒语
敬生活没错 -敬生活
Lechayim. Yeah. - Lechayim.
看看我
Look at me.
我的人生履历不能再好了
My life on paper couldn't be better.
我其实是个说唱歌♥手
I'm actually a rapper.
我在全国巡演被人讨好
I go around the country and I get sucked.
即使...即使如此...
And still...even still...
和你们现在过着的人生相比
my life pales in comparison
我的人生黯然失色
to the lives you're living right now.
当一个孩子太有趣了
It's so much more fun to be a kid
比你人生任何其他阶段都要好玩
than any other time in life.
知名说唱歌♥手
你遇到过利尔·纳斯·X吗
Have you met Lil Nas X?
没有
No.
你们有互相让人窒息过吗
Uh, you ever pass each other out?
那是什么
What's that?
就是你把手放到另外一个人的脖子上
That's where you put your hands on the one person's neck
直到你没法呼吸眼前一黑然后晕倒
until you lose oxygen, you black out and faint.
没有吗我以前经常和我的DJ一起玩这个
No? I used to do it with my deejay all the time.
那种感觉超棒的
It was amazing.
是埃尔兹吗 -对
Elz, right? - Yeah.
我认识你整个团队的人
I know your whole crew.
你们真是太屌♥了
You guys are savages.
谢谢你对我们一起长大的
Thank you. Yeah, we, uh, we grew up together.
其实我们会经常
We would always, honestly,
比较谁能做更疯狂的事
compete over who could do the craziest shit.
说起屎事你们有试过在对方的屎上拉屎吗
Speaking of shit, have you ever shit on each other's shit?
我说泻药吃了泻药然后进来
Laxatives. Eat the laxatives. Come in.
肠胃里都是泻药然后拉出来
Gut full of laxatives. Shit.
下一个人再进来已经准备好继续拉了
Next guy comes in ready to pop.
拿出拍立得拍照
Polaroid camera. Picture.
把照片贴到学校的每个储物箱上
Post it all over the lockers at school.
如果我们这么做会被人孤立的
We'd get canceled if we did that.
噢我的天真的嘛
Oh, my God, are you kidding?
你们还要担心被人抵♥制♥
You guys worry about cancel culture?
你必须这么做
You have to.
你们有着完美的托辞
You have the perfect alibi.
你们是小孩子你们什么都不知道
You're young. You don't know any better.
你们的大脑还没有完全发育好
Your brains aren't even fully formed.
就是你们头骨上的沟痕还没有折起来
Like, the grooves in your skull aren't even, like, creased.
跟我讲讲你的妻子是干嘛的
Tell me, what's your, uh, wife do?
你说除了从我钱包里拿钱外还会做什么吗
Other than break my wallet?
我懂你什么感受
I know that feeling.
我知道你懂我看见过
I know you do. I saw.
这太不可思议了
This is unbelievable.
这里太棒了这个家 -没错
This is remarkable, this home. - Yeah.
她是个只会袖手旁观的自♥由♥派最极端那种
Uh, she's a bleeding-heart liberal, to the max.
我们是那种最左派的人
We are. I'm as far left as it goes.
我真的太左了要变只能往右♥派♥走
I'm so far left I might come back around.
呃她的公♥司♥叫克莱玫斯
Uh, she, uh, the company is called Climace.
克莱玫斯 -你有听过吗
Climace. - Have you never heard of it?
没 -他们...
No. - They...
他们是一家对抗气候变化的公♥司♥
What they do is, they combat climate change
同时也反对种族主义
and racism at the same time, simultaneously.
真的嘛 -这个组织真不错
Really? - It's such a great organization,
不过这个名字真不怎么样
but the name is bad, you know.
我们都是黑人人♥权♥运动的大支持者
We're big BLM'ers.
你也关注...这个运动吗
Are you into...are you BLM?
当然了没错 -当...是的
Well, of course. Yeah. - Of cour...Yes.
我以前一直以为这世界上只有
The whole time, I thought there would only be
很小很少数量的事要做然后就结束了
the small, faint amount, and then you're done.
因为也没有其他事情要做了
'Cause there's nothing else there.
我根本没有想过要做其他事就好像说...
I couldn't imagine that you'd do another one, and there'd be...
我整个人都傻了
I-I was mind-blown.
我觉得我没想到你得一直擦拭一个表面
I thought, I didn't realize you're supposed to wipe
直到上面真的什么都没有为止
until there's literally nothing there.
因为我想着如果你连这个都弄不清楚的话
'Cause I thought, if it's that faint,
就更不可能有其他事了
there can't possibly be more.
我在你们那么大的时候
I mean, back when I was your age,
我第一次自♥慰♥的时候
the first time I ever jerked off,
我用的是自己的想象
I used my own thoughts.
我想说的是如果我现在这么做
I mean, if I tried to do that now,
我想象中的女人就会变成沙子
the women would turn to sand