说唱王戴夫

Dave S02E03

Part 3 Dec. 28, 2021, 6:57 p.m.

You know, I'm not seeing a way I can do that in the Postmates interface.
这也太强了看看这些苏打水
Damn. This shit crazy, bro. Look at all this soda, bro.
这里看上去就像糖尿病中心
It's like diabetes central right here.
噢加塔别把这个发出去
Oh, Gata, don't post any of that.
不能让人知道他家有这么多塑料瓶
He can't be seen with all that plastic.
他在一个环保慈善委员会里
He's on, like, an environmental charity board.
什么这不是说明有更多的塑料会被回收了吗
What you mean? It's more plastic to recycle, bro.
拜托哥们 -没事小亲亲让他发吧
Come on, man. - Yeah, it's fine, Chuck.
更多的塑料
More plastic...
小亲亲是谁 -你说什么
Who the fuck is Chuck? - What do you mean?
他是我的小亲亲小亲亲你怎么样
That's Chuck. Hey, Chuck. How you doing?
你们都有个秘密昵称吗什么鬼
Y'all got secret nicknames? What the fuck?
你们今天都干嘛了
What y'all fools been doing today, though?
噢小亲亲和我上午早起去游泳了
Oh, you know, Chuck wanted to wake up early and go swimming,
我们去了外面
so we went outside.
玩了一个游戏
And we got this new little game we play.
叫做形体转换就是
It's called shape-shifting, and it's like,
他裸体坐着然后这样
kind of like he sits naked and he, like, goes like this.
然后我这样用手划出波浪
And then I get to, like, ripple the waves underwater
水逆着鸡鸡流过让它变硬
and it flows against your penis and makes you hard.
非常爽 -我们不是...
It's amazing. -That's not, uh...
加塔你要吃什么
Gata, what do you want to eat?
我要一个汉堡去掉番茄
Uh, let me get a burger. No tomatoes.
嘿你知道本尼有40首进排行榜的歌♥吗
Hey, you know, this fool Benny got all, like, the Top 40 smashes, nigga.
我看到了
Yeah, I can see that shit.
我听说你们和加塔在做歌♥呢
Heard y'all and Gata been making them hits.
我等不及看他们加入了
I can't wait to hear them joints.
嘿兄弟放轻松我只是...
Hey, bro, relax, man. I'm trying to...
我们只是随便在说说
You know, we smoking right now.
你在干嘛...停下
What are you... Stop.
你只是嫉妒人家漂亮的桌子吧
You just running up on this nigga's nice-ass table, bro?
你想让我做什么
What you wanted me to do?
你们想要去外面抽会大♥麻♥吗
D-Do you guys want to smoke the weed outside?
那边有个游泳池挺漂亮的
There's a pool. It's pretty nice.
噢好啊我也想看看这房♥子的其他地方
Oh, yeah, I'm trying to see the rest of the crib, bro.
我们走
Let's do it. Ah.
小亲亲你到底怎么了
Chuck, what the hell's wrong with you?
你怎么看起来这么怪 -我没有啊
Why are you acting so weird?- I'm not acting weird.
你要知道我们两的行为很怪
You got to understand, the way that we act is very weird,
他们才不会习惯我们这样
and they're not used to it, so, like...
为什么你不能就做自己呢
Why can't you just act like yourself?
我在做自己我的意思是加塔很传统
I am. I'm just saying, like, Gata's old-school.
传统你在说什么呢
Old-school? What are you talking about?
他不可能理解我们的
Like, he's not gonna get it.
我也不想他感到不舒服
Like, I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable.
我♥干♥嘛要去高中同学会呢哥们
Man, what I need to go to the high school reunion for, bro?
我看见他们每天在IG上什么都不做
I see them online every day on IG not doing shit, bro.
他们可能都不照顾自己的小孩
They don't even probably be taking care of their kids, bro.
等你有了孩子
Wait till you got kids.
相信我你得了解你面对的人是谁
Trust me. Like, you got to know your audience.
比如说你得先停止叫我小亲亲以及...
Like, you need to cool it on the Chuck and the...
那些...好吗 -好吧好吧
all the... okay? - All right, fine, fine.
好你的屁♥股♥怎么样了
Okay. How's your butt?
我感觉不太好
It doesn't feel good.
你上次去钓鱼是什么时候
When's the last time you went fishing?
该死我记得是和你一起去的啊
Shit, I think it was with your ass.
嗨朋友们在你们来之前
Hey, guys, you know right before you got here,
我和戴维一起玩的时候他把一块口香糖
me and Dave were hanging out, and he took a wad of gum
塞进了我的屁♥眼♥里
and shoved it up my asshole,
我想要放个屁吹出泡泡
and I tried to blow bubbles out with a fart.
放轻松我没有想要听这个
Relax, man. I ain't trying to hear that shit.
指NBA选手扬尼斯·安特托昆博和他效力的队伍密尔沃基雄鹿队
呃你们觉得扬尼斯会一直呆在密尔沃基吗
Uh, you guys think Giannis is staying in Milwaukee for his whole career?
噢他 -等等等等等等
Oh, he... - Wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
你在意我们说这些东西吗
You actually care that we talk like this?
我跟你说了加塔不喜欢听这些基佬事
I told you, Gata does not like the gay stuff,
所以别讲了
so just fucking stop.
你们是基佬
Y'all are gay?
不不不 -不是
N-No, no. - No.
我不在意你们是不是同性恋
Y'all could be homosexual all y'all want,
不过我可不是来听屁♥股♥里的口香糖的事的
but I ain't trying to hear about no gum in the ass. Real shit.
你们从没见过彼此的屁♥眼♥吗
You guys have never seen each other's assholes before?
当然没有 -没有你说什么呢
Oh, no, man. Come on. - No. What the fuck?
加塔你从来没有想过托恩的鸡鸡是什么样吗
Gata, you've never just, like, imagined, like, what Tone's cock could look like?
你们都疯了
Y'all are crazy.
我跟你们说他没有那个意思
Just so you guys are aware, he's not meaning sexually in any way.
他是从有趣的角度来想的
He means, like, in terms of it being, like, fun.
没错就是... -就是说是有趣
Yeah, yeah, it's...- It's, like, funny.
不是说...就是为了好玩
No, no, it's like just...it's funny.
就像是...我们不是基佬我们只是...
It's like, it's not even... Like, we're not gay, we're just, like...
一对没事做的富有白人而已
Rich, white, and ain't got shit else to do.
富有白人 -我甚至没钱
Rich? White? - I'm not even that rich.
好吧咱们不说废话加塔现在
Okay, cut the shit, Gata, right now.
你在家你走进去
In your house, you walk in.
你一家人都被绑上了
You're whole family's tied up.
绑匪让你妈大叫起来
They got your mom going, "Ooh! Ooh!"
绑匪说要把你全家都射死
And they say they're gonna spray 'em all down
除非你给他口
unless you suck his dick.
那个人拿着枪你会做吗
The guy with the gun. You doing it?
当然不会大家都去天堂好了
Hell no. Everybody going to heaven, bro.
别争着当个硬汉了加塔你爱托恩吗
Stop trying to be a tough guy. Okay, Gata, do you love Tone?
当然他是我的好哥们 -你难道不会对他表示吗
Of course. That's my nigga. - You don't show your friends love?
我会向戴维表示我会给他一个小小的...
I show Dave love. I give him a nice little...
现在不行停下
Not right now. Stop.
放开我停下放开我
Get off. Stop. Get off.
我当然会对朋友表示爱
Bro, I do show my friends love.
我给好哥们托恩买♥♥了一个滑雪板让他给他的儿子上学用
I just gave this nigga Tone a skateboard to give to his son to go back to school with.
还送了他一些衣服和其他东西
A bunch of free clothes and shit.
不过都是一些山寨东西
But all this fugazi shit, man,
我才不想看到这个场面你看他们俩在干嘛呢
I ain't trying to see this shit, bro. You see what they be on?
看起来我赢了你喜欢这种男子气概吧
Looks like I'm the winner.You like the masculinity?
我在干♥你♥呢
I'm fucking you now.
小亲亲这也太基了吧 -我不喜欢
Chuck, that was so homoerotic. - I hated it.
你们知道你们为什么喜欢玩这种基佬小鸡游戏吧
You know why y'all like playing this little gay chicken game, right?
小鸡
Chicken?
因为你们不需要面对这么做的后果
'Cause y'all ain't never had to deal with the consequences of the way y'all are.
所以你们在这个大房♥子里乱跑
So y'all just run around this big-ass house
找各种方式乱搞
looking for ways to flirt with some shit.
不不不我们只是...就像兄弟情
No, no, no. We're just...It's like... It's like bromance.
就像那些讲兄弟情的电影 -没错
Like a bromance movie. -Yes.
你们有看过讲黑人兄弟情的电影吗
You ever seen a Black bromance movie?
黑人兄弟情... -黑人兄弟情... -我就说吗
Black bromance... - Black bromance... - Exactly.
李小龙和克里斯·塔克共演的一部动作喜剧片
呃《尖峰时刻》算吗 -《尖峰时刻》
Uh, Rush Hour? - Yeah, Rush hour?
那是个亚洲人 -是一个亚洲人和一个黑人
He was Asian. - That's a Black dude and an Asian guy, bro.
对啊但是有克里斯·塔克 -是亚洲人和黑人
Yeah, but Chris Tucker. - Asian and a Black guy.
没错但那部电影是有黑人基调的我觉得
Yeah, but the movie was more Black-themed, I think,
即使地点设置在...亚洲
even though it was set in... Asia?
那《月光男孩》呢
Moonlight? What about Moonlight?
那部最佳奥斯卡影片
Best Picture-winning Moonlight.
那才不是个兄弟情电影那就是浪漫电影
That wasn't a bromance movie. That was just a romance.
没错 -确实
Yeah. - That's true.
为什么一部讲黑人兄弟情的电影都没有
Why aren't there any Black bromance movies?
我可不想和你大谈曼丁哥人四百年的历史
I'm not about to unpack 400 years of Mandingoshit for y'all, too.
四百年曼丁戈
400 years? Mandingo?
那个色情明星四十多岁那个
That guy, the porn star, is, like, 40.
哥们不管怎么说我们黑人是会被评头论足的
Bro, regardless, Black people, we gonna get judged, bro,
如果我们没拿冠军
if we're not winning championships
或者说唱自己过得不好就这样
or rapping about being the shit, period.
这就是现实
That's just how it is.
感受到你的白人特权了吧
That white privilege kicking in, huh?
或许是因为你们害怕这些东西