笑对人生（2014）

Cristela S01E17

Part 1 April 12, 2021, 2:36 p.m.

早上好伊兹
Good morning, Izzy.
克丽丝你好吗
Hey, Cris. How are you?
我要写两份宣誓书一份取证
Well, I have two affidavits to write, a deposition,
我的车需要刹车
and my car needs brakes.
说"好"就行了我不想听其它内容
Just say "fine." That was all I was looking for. Oh.
是的我也很高兴见到你
Yes! It was good to see you, too!
我知道我也迫不及待
I know! I can't wait, either!
再见
Bye!
我讨厌那个愚蠢的胡安妮塔·卡纳莱斯
I hate that stupid Juanita Canales.
她好虚伪
She is so phony.
她当面说一套
Mm, she saying something to someone's face
背后又说一套吗
and then another behind their back?
我讨厌这样的人
I hate people like that.
她邀请我们这周末参加她孙女的成人礼
She invited us to her granddaughter's quinceanera this weekend.
她等到最后一刻才说
She waited till the last minute
这样我没时间准备
so I would have no time to prepare.
准备什么又不是你的成人礼
Prepare? It's not your quinceanera.
你早八百年前就变成女人了
I mean, you became a woman hundreds of years ago.
她想显摆
She wants to show off.
但游戏要两个人玩
But two can play at that game.
丹妮拉过来
Daniela, get in here!
妈你为什么总是要大叫
Ama, why do you have to yell all the time?
我不是宠物
I'm not a pet.
替她说一句你的确来了
Mm, in her defense, you did come.
胡安妮塔·卡纳莱斯邀请我们参加爱丽卡的成人礼
Juanita Canales has invited us to Erica's quinceanera.
我们这家人要穿得漂亮去示♥威♥
And this family needs to dress to impress.
你和费利克斯去准备紧身衣显摆下身材
So, get something tight for you and Felix to show this off, huh?
他们的衣服全是紧身的
All they have are tight clothes.
我的也是不过原因不同
Me, too, but for different reasons.
这不好笑
Hey. Not funny.
-克丽丝苔娜 -别想
- Oh, and Cristela -- - eh, forget it.
我不去
I'm not going. No.
你总是利用这种机会
You always use these as opportunities
安排我去相亲不
to try to set me up with men. No.
我没有这样做
I don't do that.
你跟一男的说奉送嫁妆
You offered a guy a dowry for me.
但还是没人要你
And still no one wanted you.
但这次
But this time,
你要让同事乔什陪你一起去
you are gonna bring Josh from work as your date.
接招吧胡安妮塔·卡纳莱斯
Hmm. Take that, Juanita Canales.
我女儿有个白人男友
My daughter has a white boyfriend.
他不是我男友
He's not my boyfriend.
但他是白人这就够了
No, but he's white, and that's all that matters.
为什么这个这么重要
Why is that so important?
因为带白人男友表示
Because bringing a white boyfriend shows
就像《杰弗逊一家》演的我们也攀高枝了
that, uh, like the Jeffersons, we are moving on up.
妈这样说太可怕了
Ama, that is a terrible thing to say.
你觉得她为什么笑
Why do you think she's smiling?
丹妮拉你做得非常好嫁给了不错的拉丁小伙
Daniela, you did fine. You married a very good latino.
但和白人约会有好处
But dating somebody white has its perks.
你会得到更好的服务
You get better service.
被警♥察♥叫停车只会得到警告
You only get a warning when you get pulled over.
而且你不会被警♥察♥叫停车
Also, you don't get pulled over.
你不去我也不去
Listen. If you're not going, then I'm not going.
我和费利克斯总是为这种事吵架
I always get into a fight with Felix over these things
因为他从来不想和我跳舞
because he never wants to dance with me.
不你要去
Oh, no. You're going.
是的
Exactly.
正相反我们不去
But the opposite. We're not going.
我回来了
I'm home.
伊兹
Wow, Izzy.
好可疑的漂亮裙子
What a suspiciously beautiful dress.
她为什么要穿这个
Why is she wearing it?
我买♥♥给她穿着参加爱丽卡的成人礼
I bought it for her for Erica's quinceanera.
-转圈 -我们可以去吗
- Turn around. - Oh, can we go?
求你了我喜欢这条裙子
Oh, please, please, please. I love this dress.
这是条漂亮裙子
It is a beautiful dress.
可能是我见过的最漂亮的
Perhaps the most beautiful dress I have ever seen.
没人♥质♥疑裙子的美丽
No one is questioning the beauty of the dress.
麻烦上楼去我和外婆谈谈
Please go upstairs so I can talk to ama, okay, honey?
你耍诡计老太婆
You play dirty, old woman.
我还没上楼
Not upstairs yet.
伊兹不是重点是费利克斯不想去
Izzy doesn't count. It's Felix who won't want to go.
亲爱的我刚去跑步了
Hola, mi amor. I just had a great run.
你妈帮我买♥♥了参加胡安妮塔家
Got to make sure I fit into that suit
成人礼的西装我得穿得上才行
your mom got me for Juanita's quinceañera.
非常紧
It's tight.
什么
What?
这是一个非常想去的男人说的话
Well, that sounds like a man who really wants to go.
费利克斯你不必假装
Felix, you don't have to pretend.
我知道你讨厌这些场合
I know you hate these things.
不我很激动
Oh, no. I'm excited.
自从我们开始上舞蹈课
Ever since we started taking dance classes,
我就盼着有场合显摆下
I've been looking for a place to show off.
我还是不想去
I still don't want to go.
为什么
Why not?
你的问题都被解决了
All your problems have been fixed.
他想跳舞
He wants to dance.
他当然想跳
Yeah, of course he wants to dance.
现在他棒极了令我恶心
Now he's fantastic. It makes me sick.
是的你的好老公跳舞非常棒
Oh, yes. You have a gorgeous husband who is a great dancer.
我老公多年前抛弃了我我能感受你的痛苦
My husband left me years ago. I feel your pain.
妈
Look, ama.
我已经习惯了我老公
I've gotten used to the fact that my husband
总是全场最帅的人
is always the best-looking person in the room
他吸引了所有注意力
and that he gets all the attention.
我怀孕时女人总是走到他跟前说
When I was pregnant, women used to go up to him and say,
费利克斯你脸上容光焕发[通常说孕妇的]
"Felix, you look radiant."
他是的
Ohh. He did.
尤其是你怀伊兹时
Especially with Izzy.
我只有跳舞这个机会
Dancing was the one opportunity I had
让别人注意我而不是他
where people would notice me and not him.
现在我怀孕时的情景又重演了
And now it's like I'm pregnant all over again.
丹妮拉你为什么觉得别人不注意你
Daniela, why do you think people won't notice you?
你很漂亮
You're beautiful.
我知道我的想法很傻
I know. It's silly.
但我就是有这种感觉我也忍♥不住
But it's just the way I feel. I can't help it.
如果我能确保费利克斯不跳舞你会去吗
If I can make sure that Felix doesn't dance, will you go?
你怎么能做到你也看到他了
How can you do that? You saw him.
他翩翩起舞就像拿到了《天鹅湖》的领舞角色一样
He's flitting around here like got the lead in "swan lake."
紧鞋子
Tight shoes.
什么
What?
紧鞋子
Tight shoes.
给他买♥♥一双不合脚的
Buy him a pair that doesn't fit.
他的脚会非常痛就不会跳舞了
His feet will torture him, and no more dancing.
够紧的话能再走路就算走运了
Tight enough, you'll be lucky if he walks again.
是新领带吗
Is that a new tie?
是的
Oh. Yes, it is.
我想它表现了我的自信与坚定
Uh, I think it says that I'm confident and assertive.
还表示了"灰色"
Mm. It also says "gray."
要一起去吃午餐吗
Hey, um, you, uh, you maybe want to get lunch today?
我想你误会灰色的意思了
Oh, uh, I think you took gray the wrong way.
你说什么
Uh, so what are you saying?
我们是朋友朋友不会一起吃午餐
We're friends. Going to lunch isn't something friends do.
我不骗你我见过
I'm not gonna lie. I have seen it.
克丽丝苔娜你在哪里
Cristela, where are you?
老天走开走开
Oh, god. Go away. Go away. Go away.
克丽丝苔娜你在哪里
Cristela, donde estas?
我猜一下你在找克丽丝苔娜
Let me guess. You're looking for Cristela?
我是她老板特伦特·卡尔佩珀