笑对人生（2014）

Cristela S01E08

Part 1 April 12, 2021, 2:33 p.m.

这就好了
There it is.
记住了这个衣帽钩必须方便每个人的使用
Now, remember, this coat rack has to work for everyone.
好吧我们来看看反正肯定方便你的使用
All right, well, let's see. It's, uh -- it works for you.
方便克丽丝的使用自然也就方便我的使用
Uh, works for Cris, so it, uh it works for me.
方便丹妮拉的使用也方便纳塔莉亚夫人的使用
Uh, works for Daniela. And works for Ms. Natalia.
"愚蠢的衣帽钩"
"Oh, stupid coat rack."
我倒是不太确定
You know, I don't know
方不方便亨利和伊兹的使用
if it works for Henry and Izzy, though.
他们只能锻炼下跳投能力了
Eh, they need to work on their jump shot.
你被治愈了
You're cured!
谢你了圣犹大塔德奥大神
Uh, thank you, san juditas.
我来给你献上个感激之吻吧
Let me, uh, give you a little thank-you kiss.
阿尔贝托穿牛仔短裤时别勾搭女人
Alberto, don't hit on women when you're wearing jean shorts.
我向来都穿短裤的啊
I always wear jorts.
我就是叫你永远别勾搭
My point exactly.
嘿草坪看上去好美啊
Hey, the lawn looks great.
是吧我们今早把落叶都耙干净了
Right? We raked the leaves this morning.
然后我跳进了落叶堆里
And I jumped in them.
铺地板业务每年的这个时候都是淡季
Flooring business is kind of slow this time of year.
是啊我真搞不懂人每天都要走在地板上的啊
Yeah, I don't know why. People walk every day.
-是吧 -你们知道什么是不分淡旺季的吗
- Right? - You know what's not seasonal?
律师行业
The law.
我每周工作时间高达80小时
I'm putting in 80 hours a week at work.
免费的80小时
80 free hours.
真够搞笑的
Oh, it's funny.
我们没有工作你工作得那么辛苦
You know, we're not working, you're working really hard,
但我们挣得钱却是一样多
and we're making the same amount of money.
真是笑死人了啊
Oh, that's hilarious.
你最近在忙什么案子
So, uh, what are you working on?
或许我能帮上忙
Maybe I could help.
企业疏忽造成的产品责任问题
Product liability connected to corporate negligence
只有一点点的隐匿证据
with just a dash of evidence suppression.
嘿来看看这个衣帽钩吧
Hey, check out the coat rack.
克丽丝苔娜那听上去似乎很重大啊
Wow, Cristela, that sounds really important.
你是在给你老板泡咖啡前还是后
Now, do you do that before or after
去处理那事的啊
you bring your boss some coffee?
我早已经不用给老板端茶倒水了
I'm actually way beyond that.
卡尔佩珀先生让我交叉对比供词
Mr. Culpepper has me cross-referencing depositions
寻找其中的谬误之处
to look for inaccuracies in testimony.
我是用莫莉螺栓安装的
I put this thing up with mollys.
牢得可以让你挂在上面
You can actually hang from it.
费利克斯你不是要把
Felix, I thought you were gonna
那些垃圾都丢到垃圾车里的吗
haul all that junk to the dump.
是啊
I am.
嘿克丽丝苔娜快滚到垃圾车里去
Hey, Cristela, get in the trunk!
没人可以像那样黑我的克丽丝苔娜
No one talks about my Cristela like that.
你刚刚那话好搞笑
费利克斯你在妈妈的卧室里装了台新吊扇
Felix, you installed the new ceiling fan in ama's bedroom.
你又装了个新的衣帽钩
You put up a new coat rack.
你们最近难道没有活儿要干吗
Don't you guys have, like, any work coming up?
我们最近在竞标一所新建小学的装♥修♥活儿
Well, we have a bid in on a new elementary school.
你们现在只能接小学水平的活儿了吗
You guys only taking gigs at your gwade level now?
你们两个随便谁开车去趟阿赞卡罗[墨西哥]
One of you needs to drive to El Zancarron
把这封信交给艾皮法尼奥
to deliver this letter to Epifaño.
我现在挺忙的可没办法开18小时的车
I'm a little busy to do an 18-hour round trip.
丹妮拉呢
Daniela?
妈你直接寄过去吧
Mom, just mail it.
我没办法寄啊
I can't.
他们不愿意费事把信送到
They won't deliver to the
坑洼土路交汇处的那座水泥房♥子里
concrete house on the corner of dirt road and dirt road.
你何不给他发电子邮件呢
Why don't you just e-mail him?
我就是想做这事啊
That's what I'm trying to do.
试图写封邮件你屁"颠"地送过去
Trying to write a letter ymail it!
天啊
Oh, my gosh.
我们该从何解释起啊
Where do we start?
我们一开始是好意解释
Well, we start with good intentions.
最终只能是眼泪收场
We end in tears.
妈我们现在所生活的时代
Ama, we live in a time
依靠这个就能让你联♥系♥全世界
where this can connect you to the world.
那就打电♥话♥找个牛人来邮寄我的信啊
So call someone and tell them to mail my letter!
妈你在网上可以和艾皮法尼奥面对面交谈的
Ama, you can talk to Epifaño face-to-face on the internet.
我要怎么才能做到
How do I do that?
你们谁能教教我吗
Can one of you teach me?
那个...等一下等一下吧
Mm, just -- yeah, hold on. Hold on.
不我才不会教呢
No, I'm not gonna do it.
-是我教她怎么用电视机的 -该轮到你了
- I taught her how to use the tv. - It's your turn.
-她当时还不会用遥控器 -这不公平
- and she had trouble with the remote control. - It's not fair.
-你不能强迫我 -我愿意做别的事
-You can't make me. - I will do anything else
-什么都行 -说真的我教到最后可能会杀了她
- literally anything else. - Seriously, I will wind up killing her.
她真的很烦人的
She is so annoying.
克丽丝我求你了老天爷啊
Cris, I'm begging you, for the love of god.
我愿意下半辈子都包揽打扫屋子的任务
Look, I will clean the house for the rest of my life.
如果你来教她
If you do it,
那你想在我家住多久都行
you can live here long as you need.
好吧
Fine.
妈我会教你怎么上网的
Ama, I'm gonna teach you how to use the internet.
我想让丹妮拉来教
Ohh, I wanted Daniela to do it.
你赢了
You win.
你们看了布兰奇德这个案子吗
Have you guys read this Blanchard case?
我真不敢相信那位女士
I can't believe the lady
竟然被座椅加热器烫伤了腿
had her legs burned by a seat warmer.
我真不敢相信竟然有座椅加热器这种东西存在
I can't believe seat warmers are a thing.
接下来会发明什么 CD更换器吗
I mean, what's next? A cd changer?
CD 克丽丝我们得好好谈谈才行
CDs? Aww, Cris, we need to talk.
怎么了我很开心我的车可以自动变换AB面
What? I'm just glad my car gets me from "a" to "b"...
几乎一直都如此
Almost all the time.
你们知道车子在开了20英里后
Did you know that after 20 miles,
备用轮胎就自动变成普通轮胎了吗
a spare tire just becomes a regular tire?
持续6个月了并继续坚持着
Six months and counting.
你对一切都充满感激
Aww, you appreciate everything.
你该庆幸你出身贫穷
You know, you're lucky you grew up poor.
是啊感觉每天都像中了大奖一样
Yep, it's like winning the lottery every day of my life.
卡尔佩珀先生
Oh, Mr. Culpepper,
我已经几乎完成了布兰奇德一案的保修调查
I'm almost done with the warranty research on the Blanchard case.
我跟你说那真是点燃了我激♥情♥的小火花
I got to tell you, it really lit a fire under me.
真搞笑黛布拉·布兰奇德正是被火花烫伤的呢
That's funny 'cause that's what happened to Debra Blanchard.
昨天我去参观了我朋友杰瑞·琼斯的新办公室
Yesterday, I visited my friend Jerry Jones' new office.
真是华丽大方现在我感到很不爽
It was so beautiful. Now I'm miserable.
为什么爸爸
Why, daddy?
因为那让我奢华的办公室
Because it makes my very expensive office
显得不怎么奢华了
seem less expensive.
看来真的很难跟上琼斯的节奏啊对吧
Guess it really is hard to keep up with the Joneses, huh?
[习惯用语表示很难和富裕邻居保持同样的生活质量]
我这笑话很赞吧
Am I right?!
好吧
Okay.
我打算重新装♥修♥办公室就从重铺地板开始
I'm gonna remodel my office, starting with the floor.
很好很好
Oh, good. Good.
很好很好
Good. Good.
你你为什么看着我啊
Why -- why are you looking at me?
你觉得我肯定认识铺地板的工人
You think that I know someone that does floors
因为我是墨西哥人
because I'm Mexican.
瞧吧我们都很清楚我的思维
See, we all know how my mind works.
你很可能还觉得
And you probably think
《青春传奇》是我最爱的电影对吧
"La bamba" is my favorite movie, hmm?
好吧我姐夫的确是铺地板的
Okay, my brother-in-law installs floors,
《青春传奇》的确是我最爱的电影
and "la bamba" is my favorite movie!
天啊
Oh, my god.
那电影太赞了
It's so good!
瑞奇[片中主角]
Ritchie!!
怎么我就不能爱那部电影吗
What, I can't like it, too?
好极了让他明天过来吧