笑对人生（2014）
Cristela
第一季
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笑对人生（2014）
Cristela S01E12
Part 1
April 12, 2021, 2:34 p.m.
妈 你在做什么
Ama, what are you doing?
我在等我的敌人
I am waiting for my opponent.
死亡吗
Death?
不是
No.
咱家闹耗子 一想到它在厨房♥嘲笑我
We have a mouse, and I cannot rest
我就睡不着
knowing he is in this kitchen mocking me.
咱家没老鼠
We don't have mice.
拜托 上♥床♥睡觉吧
Come on -- go to bed and get some sleep.
我死了自然会睡
I'll sleep when I am dead.
哪怕到那时候 也可能睡不好
And even then, probably not so well.
你为什么没睡觉
Why aren't you in bed?
我刚回家
I just got home.
我的案例法学习小组组长说话太慢了
My case law study-group leader talked so slow.
所以 在苏利文
"So, in sullivan..."
拜托 伙计
Come on, buddy!
末班车午夜就开了
The last bus leaves at midnight.
不是吧 克丽丝苔娜
Really, Cristela?
凌晨一点还吃墨西哥面包
Pan dulce at 1:00 in the morning?
我不想找吃的
I don't want to look for food
显然咱家有耗子
because apparently, we have a mouse.
抱歉 我只是为亨利担心
Sorry, I'm just worried about Henry.
他马上要参加总统体能测试了[体育课考试]
He's got his presidential fitness test coming up.
他那个胖墩儿身材哪能做总统
He is not fit to be president.
你没见他的房♥间吗
Have you seen his room?
不 妈 这是体能测试
No, ama, it's a test to see how fit you are.
我不想自夸 但我以前成绩非常好
I don't mean to brag, but I used to do pretty well.
除了八年级的春天 我变成了女人
Except for that spring in eighth grade when I became a woman.
你以前的确是优秀的运动员
You really were a great athlete.
不如你帮帮亨利
Why don't you help Henry?
训练他
You know, train him.
太棒了 因为我下月有一小时空闲时间
That's perfect, 'cause I had a free hour next month,
我不知道怎么打发
and I didn't know what to do with it.
我找不到我的公交月票
I can't find my bus pass.
你不能再买♥♥一张吗
Can't you just buy another one?
麦迪 如果我有钱再买♥♥一张
Maddie, if I could afford to buy another one,
我就不会坐公车了
I wouldn't be riding the bus.
听起来好贵
Sounds expensive.
知道吗 你应该坐出租车
Oh! You know what? You should take a cab.
爸爸
Oh, hey, daddy.
今天早上怎么样
How'd it go this morning?
糟透了
Terrible.
没什么比坐在管理人员
Nothing worse than sitting on a panel
薪酬过高调查组面前更糟糕的事了
investigating executive overcompensation.
老天
My god.
我发现我的身家还不及其他人的一半
I realized I don't have half of the stuff these other guys have.
让你想奔赴你众多豪♥宅♥之一
Makes you just want to go to one of your houses
在里面痛哭 对吗 老板
and just cry, right, sir?
是啊 但是 去哪栋呢
Yeah, but -- but which one?
其中有些人
You know, some of these guys
居然还有自己的医务人员
actually have personal medical staffs on hand.
我查了下 我们负担不起
Now, I-I looked into it and we can't afford it,
但会心肺复苏术的人
but there would be a small stipend
可以有一笔小津贴
for anybody who knows cpr.
-我会 -我可以 老板 我会
Oh, I know cp-- I could do it, sir. I know cpr.
你会吗
You do?
是的
Oh, yeah, yeah.
我以前想成为护理人员
I was studying to be a paramedic
直到我意识到我更喜欢追逐救护车
before I realized I'd rather chase the ambulance.
律师怂恿事故受害人打官司
我喜欢
I like that.
这笑话是我说的
Think I'll take credit for it.
你说的时候我记住了
I remember when you said it.
你会心肺复苏术吗
Do you know cpr?
完全不会
No. No, not at all.
但有机会敲门时我不会放过
But I know an opportunity when it knocks,
我可以学
and I can learn cpr.
但我已经会了
But I already know it.
对 乔什 应该让克丽丝苔娜做
Yeah, Josh, I mean, Cristela should do it.
她应该说快点
Well, she should've spoken faster.
老天 简历上加上这点可真是棒极了
Oh, man, this is gonna look great on my resume?
要知道 你可能是某人
You know, you may be the only person
挣扎于生死间时 他身边唯一的人
between someone's life and death.
希望吧
I can only hope.
想象下简历上有"英雄"二字该有多美好啊
Imagine how great the word "hero" would look on my resume?
先从摸脚趾开始
Okay, let's start with touching your toes.
开始
Here we go.
不是那样的 这样
Not like that. Like this.
我想你需要再示范多一些
I think you need to show me some more.
我想我还没学会
I don't think I get it yet.
别想 来吧 起来
Unh-unh-unh. Come on, get up.
你才是应该为总统体能测试
You're the one that's supposed to be exercising
而练习的人
for your presidential fitness test.
不是我
No, I'm not.
我在这里 只是因为妈妈想让你变苗条
I'm only here 'cause mom wants you to get in shape.
什么
What?
她没告诉你吗
Didn't she tell you?
没
No.
我想你也不应该说
And I don't think you were supposed to, either.
练得不错
Well, good workout.
我休息下
I'm just gonna cool down.
被我抓个现行
You are so busted!
没事 我们是夫妻
It's okay. We're married.
你说什么呢
What are you talking about?
利用亨利骗我锻炼
Using Henry as a setup to get me to exercise?
太卑鄙
Oh, that is low.
利用你孩子还有总统
Using your children and the president!
我现在想离开
Okay, I'd kind of like to leave now.
那就走啊
Then leave!
但我没穿衣服
I'm also kind of naked.
那就别走
Then don't leave.
克丽丝 我是担心你
Cris, I've been worried about you.
你工作太辛苦了
You're doing too much,
锻炼是很好的降压方式
and exercise is a great stress-reliever.
我一直都在锻炼
I exercise all the time.
是吗
Really?
你这周做了什么锻炼
What exercise did you do this week?
我没时间 因为我要处理完霍布森的案子
Well, I couldn't because I was finishing the Hobson case.
那你上周做了什么
Then what did you do last week?
我有期中报告 伊兹生病了
I had midterms. Izzy was sick.
那之前一周呢
And the week before?
老天 还要再问前50周吗
Oh, my god, are we gonna do this 50 more times?
地板上有运动衫
Okay, there's sweats on the floor right there.
你知道咱们家有高血压病史
You know high blood pressure runs in our family.
我要你锻炼 因为我不想失去你
I want you to exercise because I don't want to lose you!
这不公平
Oh, that is not fair.
我在生你的气的时候
Do not be all loving and caring
别显得这么爱我关心我
while I'm trying to be mad at you.
你现在过来拥抱我
You come here and hug me right now!
不 我不要
No, I don't want to.
过来
Come here!
好吧
Okay.
这也太奇怪了
Okay, this is really weird.
闭嘴 甜蜜时刻都被你毁了
Shut up. You're ruining the moment.
答应我你会好好照顾自己
Promise me you'll take better care of yourself.
我只有你这么一个妹妹
You're my only sister,
你不能抛下我一个人和老妈在一起
and you can't leave me alone with ama.
好吧 我会锻炼
Fine. I'll exercise.
我有运动文胸 我一直想用来着
I have a sports bra I've been meaning to use for something.
克丽丝 你今天离开过桌子吗
Cris, have you moved from your desk all day?
你上过厕所吗
I mean...have you even taken a bathroom break?
笑对人生（2014）
Cristela
剧集 | 笑对人生（2014） | 导航列表