纽约屁民（2016）

Animals. S03E05

Part 4 Nov. 17, 2020, 11:46 a.m.

Whip it everywhere
♪ 到处浪 ♪
Where my girls, Where my girls?
♪ 我的女孩在哪我的女孩在哪 ♪
While finding your truth is important,
虽然寻找你的真♥相♥固然重要
too much knowledge might not be a good thing.
但知道太多未必是好事
Yes! Yes! It's working!
太好了它能用
Everybody, get in here quick! Come on!
大家快来这里快点
Whoa.What's going on?What's going on, paper Mike?
哇怎么了怎么了纸片迈克
Paper Mike, are you all right, little buddy?
纸片迈克你还好吗小朋友
Excuse me, sorry. Check it out.
不好意思来看看
Using some of the scraps I found here,
我用在这里发现的一些废料
I was able to build
我做一个
what's known as a Poo-Poo Type Box.
便便箱式机
I named it myself.
是我起的名字
Wow. This is impressive. Cool.
哇真厉害酷
And now, I'm able to search the World Wide Web
现在我能搜索万维网
and find out what we all are.
来查出我们是什么
Okay, I'm what's known as a receipt.
好的我是张收据
A paper remnant of a purchase
购物时留下的一张纸
which was super important for the humans
收据对人类来说非常重要
because of taxes and other sciencey stuff
因为我不会让你陷入关于税和
I won't bog you down with.
其他的科学事物的困境
Super sciencey, okay?
超级科学的好吗
Anyhoo, who's next?
无所谓下一个是谁
Me! Sorry, me.
是我不好意思是我
Sorry, just a little too loud. Me.
不好意思有点太大声了是我
It says I'm a baseball signed
这里说我是个班尼·阿格巴亚尼
by Benny Agbayani.
签过名的棒球
That's pretty cool. Yeah, that is pretty cool.
那真是很酷是的很酷
It says here, he was a utilitarian player.
这里说他是一个功利主义运动员
Wow, that's impressive. That's great!
哇真是令人印象深刻真棒
All right, who's up next?
好吧下一个是谁
All right, I'm dying to know. You gotta go. Whoo!
好吧我超想知道到你了
I'm a shoe.
我是一只鞋
Wow. Congratulations.That's what you are, a shoe!
哇恭喜这就是你一只鞋
I was sensible and practical.
我既敏感又实用
Like the playing style of Benny Agbayani.
就像班尼·阿格巴亚尼的球技一样
That's right! Utilitarian.
棒极了真实用
Who's up next?
下一个是谁
Mike's ex-wife. Here she goes.
迈克的前妻她去了
My god. This is gonna be good.
天啊真期待
Come on, rectangle! What is she?
去吧长方形她是什么
of Can't Hardly Wait.
家庭录像带
That movie's so good!
那电影棒极了
That movie's a classic!
那电影是经典
It is an honor, madam.
简直是个荣幸
Can't Hardly Wait is the fucking shit.
《等不及说爱你》太棒了
Pretty cool. She's great. She's pretty cool.
棒极了她很厉害她很棒
I'm sorry are we gonna skip past
抱歉难道我们要跳过
JLH! Can we get a round of applause?
詹妮弗大家给她一阵掌声吧
He was so good!
他太棒了
Gang? Should I go?
朋友们我要不要去
You gotta go. You gotta go.
你得去你得去
I got a feeling I'm like a religious totem
我觉得我应该是一个宗教图腾
or, like, the Olympic torch or something like that.
或者类似奥♥运♥火炬之类的东西
I got a vibe like that. Right, right, right.
我有同感没错没错
This is gonna be good.
肯定很好
I can tell, this is really gonna be awesome.
我就知道肯定棒极了
Shh, everybody.
安静点大家
"Fleshlight."
"手电筒"
The fl... The flashlight you can fuck.
可以操的手电筒
This artificial pussy
这个假阴♥道♥
fits right in your pocket for all your humpin' needs
可以随身携带以应对你所有的饥渴欲望
Day. Night. At the office.
白天晚上办公室里
Go to town on this canister
带着这个"可以射进去"
"That you can splooge into."
小筒进城吧
That's pretty cool, yeah. That's nice, yeah.
挺棒的挺好
'Cause you can... functional and... - Functional.
因为实用性很好... 实用性
God. That's nasty.
天啊好下流
I was a s-sex toy...
我是个情趣玩具...
that men would ejaculate into.
男的可以射进去
It's a natural function. Don't be ashamed.
只是性功能而已不丢人
Nothing to be ashamed about.
没什么好羞愧的
I think I'm gonna be sick.
我感觉要吐了
I think I'm gonna...
我要...
You think when he barfs, it's like...
你们觉得他吐的...
it's like, some dude's like...
会不会是什么人的...
Some dude's spunk?
什么人的精♥液♥
Stop it, Mike! Come on! Aw, come on, Mike?
别说了迈克停下停下吧迈克
That's disgusting, man! What?
太恶心了什么
I'm thinking. We're all thinking it.
我在想我们都在想
Shut the fuck up, fat Mike!
闭嘴吧胖迈克
You were right, gross rectangle Mike.
你说得对讨厌的长方形迈克
I should have just spent more of my time
我应该多花点时间
getting fucked up and partying
虚度光阴聚会狂欢
instead of figuring out my purpose.
而不是弄清楚我的用途
I don't why I'm talking to you, a vegetable,
我不知道为什么要和你说话你是一个植物人
or whatever the fuck you are.
或者别的什么
We never looked you up. I'm sorry about that, dude.
我们从来没照顾过你非常抱歉兄弟
You know,
你知道
all the other Mikes wanted to pull the plug on you.
别的迈克们都想拔了你的插头
But I wouldn't let them.
我不让他们拔
'Cause I was the one who thought
因为我觉得这样
there was more to this than nothing.
总比没有要强
But turns out, nothing's everything.
但是结果万事皆空
I'm gonna go jump off the roof.
我要跳楼了
Fucker, fucker.
该死的该死的
You mother fuckin' shit.
你个混♥蛋♥
Kick your fuckin' ass.
滚吧你个混♥蛋♥
I know, but when you know, you know.
我知道但是你该知道时就会知道
Mike and I want you to know
迈克和我想让你们知道
how this incredible outpouring of love from you
你们流露出来的爱那么棒
mirrors the love that we share.
反映出了我们共同的爱
I am so sorry to interrupt
抱歉
that beautiful speech, Shoe.
打断了你感人的发言鞋子
I just really wanted everybody here
我只是想让大家都认识一下
to meet my new boyfriend, Mike.
我的新男友迈克
Hey, great to meet you, buddy.
很高兴见到你兄弟
What's that, new Mike? Whisper, whisper, whisper.
你说什么新迈克悄悄话悄悄话
My God, of course I'll marry you!
天啊我当然愿意和你结婚
We're getting married everybody!
我们要结婚了大家
Okay, on my special day?
好吧在我的特殊日子上吗
Yeah! Hello.
没错你好啊
So when you guys are doing it,
你俩做的时候
how do you manage to not get crushed
你是怎么保持不被
by all that fatso lard?
这个大胖子压塌的
He likes my lard.
他喜欢我的肥肉
So that's your thing.
所以这就是你的诀窍
That's your little...
这就是你的小...
Hey, guys. Great banter. Has anyone seen Phil?
朋友们打趣挺好有人看见菲尔了吗
No. He's not here? Wait.
没有他不在这吗等等
I was sure he was here.
我确定他刚才在这的
And again, I didn't get my dinner.
而且又一次没上我的餐
He never, ever misses any of our group meals.
他从来没错过我们任何一次聚餐
It's starting to feel like an attack on me.
感觉像是对我的攻击
He's in charge of the Facebook
他负责
invites and everything.
在脸书上发邀请之类的所有事
Wait, guys. When Mike was depressed before,
等等朋友们迈克抑郁的时候
Phil was wondering
菲尔担心
if he'd unlife himself off the roof.
他会跳楼轻生
You don't think...
你不觉得...