论时间旅行的危险性（2024）

没有鞋带，但这是另一双。
No laces,
but here's the other one.
只需要换根电线和一个灯泡就行了。
That just needs a new wire
and a bulb,
呃，或许还能去除锈迹。
and, uh, maybe take the rust.
所以——看看那个。
-So--
- Look at that.
那是一瓶尿。
That's a bottle of piss.
我们今天表现相当不错。
We've done quite well today.
我们做得非常好。 ——你们得了什么奖？
-We've done really well.
- What'd you get?
妈的。
Oh, shit.
出色地。
Well.
就，就把茶壶留下来吧。
Just, just leave the tea pot.
把茶壶留下来。
Leave the tea pot.
我不知道。我觉得你还能修好。
I don't know.
I think you can still fix it.
-哦，那里有狗屎。 -哦，不。
-Oh, there's a poo there.
-Oh, no.
那也不是狗屎。
That's a,
that is not a dog poo either.
我的意思是，真正的老式玩具，嗯。
I mean, genuine
vintage toy that, um.
这个复古烤架怎么样？
What about this vintage grill?
它有着漂亮的包浆，还有气流控制功能，而且
It's got, um, beautiful patina,
um, and airflow control and,
我的天哪，又有一个顾客走了。
oh, my God,
there goes another customer.
这是我的预测眼镜。
These are my predicto goggles.
它们可以让佩戴者看到大约一分钟。
They allow the wearer
to see about a minute
展望未来，大概如此。
into the future, give or take.
嗯，或许我可以找个志工来帮忙。
Um, maybe I could have
a volunteer to help me.
有人吗？有人吗？
Anyone, anyone?
有志工吗？
Any volunteers?
有人吗？
Anyone at all?
是的，露丝，请上来。
Yes, please, Ruth, up you come.
起来吧，露丝。
Up you pop, Ruth.
真是见鬼。
Fuck's sake.
我那位美丽动人的助理会穿上这些。
My lovely, glamorous assistant
will put these on.
是的，你正把它们穿上。
Yeah, you're putting them on.
好了。
There you go.
露丝，你看到了什么？
What can you see, Ruth?
哇。
Whoa.
说实话，我不太明白这些东西的意义何在。
I don't really see the point
of these, to be honest.
我到底该看什么？
What, what's, what am I
supposed to be looking at?
都一样。
It's just all the same.
哦，你在捂脸。
Oh, you're holding your face.
它们被冻结了吗？
Are they frozen?
-实际上-- - 我觉得它们坏了。
-Actually--
- I think they're broken.
他们肯定出错了。
They must have gone wrong.
- 现在，给它—— - 我认为它们正在工作。
- Now, give it--
- I think they're working.
你看，你只需要把它关掉就行了。
Look, look, you
just need to turn it off.
把它重新打开，好吗？
Turn it back on again, okay?
彼得，我正在看它们。
Peter, I'm looking at them.
你没有，那是我的护目镜。
You don't, they're my goggles.
你为什么有──把我的──还给我
- Why have you got--
- Give me back my--
上面那个奇怪的东西是什么？
What's that weird thing
on the top?
把我的预测眼镜还给我。
Give me back
my predicto goggles.
不要抢夺。
Don't snatch.
哦，它们很好。
Oh, they're good.
不，它们很好。
no, they're good.
它们真的有效。
They actually work.
比尔，比尔，哦，这是瑞克发来的。
Bill, bill, oh,
this one's from Rick.
亲爱的露丝和梅根。
Dear Ruth and Megan.
梅根。
Megan.
我注意到
It has come to my attention
你的房♥租严重逾期。
that your rent
is seriously overdue.
拉屎。
Shit.
但我有个主意。
But I've had an idea.
我心想，“为什么不给露丝和梅根一些宽容呢？”
I thought, "Why don't I cut Ruth
and Megan some slack
付房♥租吗？
on their rent?
因为她们都是好女孩，我喜欢她们。
Because they're good
girls and I like 'em."
- 哦，那真不错。 - 真的吗？
- Oh, that's nice.
- Really?
那很好。
Well, that's good.
但后来我想，
But then I thought,
“去他妈的。”
"Fuck that."
真是太奇怪了。
That was really weird.
我想收房♥租。
I want my rent.
我们会尽快把它寄给你。
We, we're gonna get it to you
as soon as we can.
我们不得不稍微改变一下商业模式，因为——
We've just had to change up our
business model a bit because--
是啊，是啊，我不在乎。
Yeah, yeah, I don't care.
如果月底前你不付款，你们两个都得赔钱。
If you don't pay by the end
of the month, you're both out.
哦，不，里克，求你了，我们会送到你手上的。
Oh, no, Rick, please,
we will get it to you.
这是法律规定。
It is the law.
事实上，如果你再搞砸一次，反而帮了我一个忙。
In fact, if you fuck up again,
you'd be doing me a favour.
滚开，你们这些傻♥逼♥。
So fuck away, you fuckwits.
哦，替我向梅根问好。
Oh, say hi to Megan for me.
梅根来了。再见。
- Megan, she's here.
-Ciao, ciao.
看来你的商业模式行不通。
Guess your business model
doesn't work.
哦，太糟糕了。
Oh, it's awful.
在这种架构中，副♥主♥席♥是
In this structure,
the vice chair is
紧邻主席，而在这个结构中
right adjacent to the chairman,
whereas in this structure
我更喜欢我选择的那个，其他所有职位实际上都是…
that I prefer, all the other
positions are, in fact,
隶属于，呃，我或者，主席，
subordinate to, uh, me or the,
the, the chairman,
我觉得这套系统比较容易管理，你觉得呢？
which I think is a much more
manageable system, don't you?
火。
Fire.
哦。
Oh.
你们那里有新货吗？
You have some new stock
in there?
是的。是的。
-Yep.
-Yep.
呃，我希望那不是过去的事。
Uh, I hope that's not
from the past.
我们在做……的时候得到了一些东西。
We got some stuff
when we were doing--
一切都来自过去。
Everything's from past.
- 好吧，那不是——白♥痴♥。
- Okay, well, that's not--
-Idiot.
- 那把椅子是哪里来的？ - 我的天哪。
- Where's that chair from?
-Oh, my God.
让我看看里面有什么，哦，中大奖了。
Let's see what's in here,
oh, jackpot.
谁在找百慕达？
Who was looking for Bermudas?
正宗的80年代风格。 ——是的。
-Genuine '80s.
- Yeah.
我还想建议，目前的两年任期
I also would like to suggest
that the current two-year tenure
主席任期应延长至三年。
for a chairman should be
increased to three years.
为什么不是五个？
Why not five?
嗯，真是个好主意。
Well, very good idea.
吃颗薄荷糖。
Have a mint.
唔。
Hmm.
米格斯。
Meegs.
米格斯。
Meegs.
米格斯，进来。
Meegs, come in.