爸爸的好儿子（2012）

You know, Todd was working at the cubicle next to mine
托德在我的隔壁和我共事一年
one year, 12 weeks and one day ago
一年又十二周又一天之前
when he met a pretty girl at the gym named Jamie.
他在健身房♥遇到一个叫洁米的美女
How many days is that, Todd?
那是多少天啊 托德?
Computing, Steve.
运算中 史蒂
451.
451天
It's actually 450.
应该是450天
Battle of the brainiacs!
天才之争啊
Yeah, this guy forgot about leap year, I guess.
他忘了今年是闰年 我猜
He's smarter than Todd!
他比托德还要聪明
Okay, we're talking a lot about numbers,
好了 我们说了太多数字的东西了
but let's get back to love.
不过让我们把话题回到爱情上吧
What's the matter, hot stuff?
惊讶什么 天才?
Where do you think you get it from?
你以为你的天赋是从哪里遗传来的?
Your mother was a math teacher,
你妈是数学老师
and I was pretty much a whiz kid myself.
我以前可是神童
The ability to make a bong out of a Taco Bell cup
这么点小本事
doesn't make you a whiz kid, Donny.
是做不了神童的 东尼
Leap year, motherfucker.
闰年啊 混账东西
I think it's kind of a magical moment.
我觉得太神奇了
You know, Todd's oldest friend, Donny, miraculously appearing like this.
托德的老朋友 东尼奇迹般的出现了
What?
什么?
So I am graciously going to step aside and
所以我很高兴退到一边
allow Donny to take over as the best man.
让东尼来做伴郎
Give it up for Donny!
让东尼来做
Oh! no no,
别 别 别
Phil, you don't have to do that.
菲尔 你不用这样
No music. No, no, no, no.
不要放音乐 不要 不用
Kill the music. Phil, Phil, you...
停止音乐 菲尔 菲尔 你...
That's so nice of you, but you don't have to do that.
你人真好 可是你没必要那样做
Oh, I don't mind. You two are very close.
我不介意 你们两个是老朋友了
We are. We are very close, but you and I are close, too.
我们是老朋友 可你跟我也很熟啊
Well, we work together, but I wouldn't call us close.
好吧 我们是一起工作 但是我不觉得那叫熟
I mean, I was actually kind of surprised when you asked me to be your best man.
我是说 我挺惊讶你叫我当伴郎的
Made me feel a little sorry for you.
搞得我都有点对不起你了
That's true. He had no idea who he was.
那倒是真的 他当时还不知道他是谁呢
No.
不
I accept. I do. I love it. It's an honor.
我接受 我想做 这是我的荣幸
Way to go, Donny!
干得好 东尼
Are you kidding me?
这是开玩笑吗?
You got Fenway Park in your backyard?
你们后院里居然有个芬威球场?
I had that built when my son started Little League.
我儿子加入少年棒球联盟的时候建的
He never used it.
他都没用过
The little douche bag just sat in his room listening to reggae.
那个小浑球就会坐在房♥间里听雷鬼乐
Well, let's lose these ties and hit some dingers.
我们脱下领带去打几个本垒打吧
What do you say? Come on!
怎么样? 来嘛
No, no, no. Please, don't let this be happening.
不 不 不 不要这样子
Don't let this be happening, please.
别这样 拜托
No sports.
不要玩运动
All right, guys, let's see what we got out there.
好了 同志们 我们开玩吧
Please don't hit it to me. Please don't hit it to me. Please don't hit it to me.
千万不要打到我 千万不要打到我 千万不要
Get under it, kid.
接住
Moron.
笨死了
Here we go! Taking down two there!
好了 这边来两个
All right, Gerald, kid! Here we go, guy!
好的 杰罗 开始吧 同志们
Stay on it!
保持
Oh. my God!
天呐
Grandma, what's up, honey? Are you awake, sweetheart?
奶奶 怎么样? 没睡着吧? 亲爱的
Here we go.
来了啊
Get under it! Get dirty!
从下面接 别怕脏
What the fuck?
天呐?
Got it. Nice catch, Mama!
接到了 接得好 妈
Let's let Todd-0 get this one, huh?
让零蛋托德接这个吧?
Oh, no, that's okay.
不要 我没接到没关系
Todd, come on!
托德 来嘛
No, no. Hit one to that two-year-old.
别 别 给那个两岁的小孩打一个
He hasn't gotten one yet.
他还没接过
Here you go, big man.
来了 小子
What?
什么?
Quit showing off for the girls, buddy.
别在女孩面前耍帅
They're mine.
她们是我的
Come on, now.
来吧
You got it.
你来接了
Okay, Todd, you all set, buddy?
托德 你准备好了吗?
Don't hit it to me.
别打中我
Coming to you, homie.
球来啦
Holy shit.
天啊
Oh, my God. Are you all right, guy?
天呐 你还行吧?
Come on. You're fine.
得了吧 你没事的
Throw it in there, guy.
把球扔过来
I think the ball's broken.
我觉得球破了
Throw it in, Todd.
扔过去 托德
Todd, throw the ball.
托德 把球扔过去
Come on, Todd!
赶紧的 托德
Throw it, you big vagina. Do it.
扔啊 你个娘炮 动手
Todd, we want to keep playing, buddy.
托德 我们还想玩
We need a ball, kid.
我们要球
Just throw it.
扔过来
Such a pussy.
真是个娘娘腔
On a rope!
扔得好
Holy fuck!
尼玛帅啊!
We now return to The Donny Berger Story,
现在回到由伊安主演的
starring Ian Ziering.
东尼·伯杰故事
Yo! Donny.
嗨 东尼
I'm in a Jacuzzi. Hang on one sec.
我在泡澡 等一下
Yeah.
好
Fucking... Here.
妈的
Who'll take the cigar?
谁来帮我把这雪茄拿走?
Oh, no. Donny.
别走啦 东尼
Keep that lit for me.
别让烟灭了
Take my fucking shades.
拿开这该死的墨镜
Wear them if you want.
你想戴就戴吧
Yeah!
好啊
All right. So, hang on.
好了 别挂机
I want to wear them.
我也想戴
I'll be back.
我很快回来
All right.
好的
My goodness!
天呐
Yeah, what's going on?
怎么了?
Guess what's on TV?
你猜电视上在播什么?
Hey, there, little buddy.
嘿 小家伙
I'm Mr. Mitty.
我是米帝先生
I will always love you.
我会永远爱你哟
What is that, The Donny Berger Story?
什么东西 东尼·伯杰故事吗?
Hell, yeah.
是的
Don't you get money every time that shit is shown?
这玩意播出你都没拿到钱吗?
This could be your "get out ofjail free" card.
那钱可以让你不用蹲牢子
Last check I got for that
我最后一次收到那节目的支票
was 85 cents.
是八十五美分的
Is Han Solo gonna do the show at the women's prison with you?
汉·索罗愿意跟你去监狱里做秀吗?
You know, I haven't discussed any particulars with him yet.
我还没认真跟他谈过
I am actually just trying to be a dad right now.
我现在只想试着当个好老爸
You're gonna go to prison on Tuesday.
你星期二要去监狱
You have got to get that money somehow.
不管怎么你也得弄到钱啊
Kenny, what the fuck?
肯尼 你搞什么啊?
I thought this was a bathroom!
我以为这是厕所
Fuck you!
操你的
Honk!
啊
Oh, nobody squeezes my titty for free, honey!
没人能免费摸我奶♥子♥ 别跑
Okay, good luck with that.
好吧 祝你好运