爸爸的好儿子（2012）

No, Donny, I don't have any Axe body spray.
没有 东尼 我没有艾科男士喷雾
Because I'm not a fucking douche bag.
因为我他妈不是个孬种
That's a douche bag thing?
那跟孬种有关系吗?
When did that become a douche bag thing?
它什么时候跟孬种扯上关系了?
Todd, the guests are arriving. Let's go!
托德 客人来了 我们走吧!
All right, can you lighten up a little bit?
好吧 你能放松一点儿吗?
We got a party to attend.
我们有聚会要参加
Good person, how about you put on a tie, okay?
好人 系上领带 行吗?
It's a cocktail party, not a Quiznos opening.
这是个鸡尾酒会 不是快餐店开幕式
'What? I haven't worn a tie since
什么? 自从三岁时我母亲的葬礼
my mother's funeral when I was three.
我就再也没系过领带
I'm not going to start that up again.
我才不要再系领带
That's great. Put on a tie.
很好 系上领带
No. Put on a tie!
不 系上领带!
I'll never sell out.
我永远不会出♥卖♥♥♥自己
I'll give you 100 bucks.
那我给你一百块
Where's the tie?
领带在哪儿?
Look at this.
看看这里
Jamie is going to have it all.
洁米将要拥有这一切了
By the way, Mr. Spirou,
顺便一说 斯皮尤先生
I read the OPEC report, and I was thinking,
我看过石油输出国组织的报告 我在想
if we hedge our position on oil,
如果我们在石油问题上规避风险
we could really...
我们就能够...
If we were to short the euro, we could...
如果我们卖♥♥空欧元 我们就可以...
Come on, Todd. This is your wedding weekend.
好啦 托德 这周末是你的婚礼
You are marrying a real workaholic. You do know that.
你要嫁给一个真正的工作狂 你要知道
Yeah, but isn't that what you want in a partner?
是啊 可你不正想要这样一个合伙人吗?
She's good, this one.
说得不错嘛 这个
She's good.
说得不错
All right, all right.
好啦 好啦
I haven't made that decision yet,
我还没有做决定
but I love this kid.
但我喜欢这个孩子
You lost your dad in that explosion,
你在一次爆♥炸♥中失去了你的爸爸
and I lost my son.
而我失去了我的儿子
I thought your son was a ski instructor in Vail.
我以为你的儿子在韦尔当滑雪教练
He's a pot-smoking bum!
他是个没用的流浪汉
Not like you, Todd. Oh, no.
不像你 托德 一点儿都不像
You're the type of boy a father can be proud of.
你是那种能让父亲骄傲的孩子
Yeah, we'll never know, will we?
是啊 我们永远都不会明白 不是吗?
Who's that? I'm not here.
那是谁? 我是透明人
That's Donny.
那是东尼
Donny, come on. Say hi to everyone.
东尼过来 跟大家打个招呼
Oh, God, hang on.
哦 上帝 等一会儿
Let me swing these free.
让我摆好一下
Glad all the children saw that.
真高兴孩子们看到啊
Donny.
东尼
This is Steve Spirou, Todd's boss.
这位是史蒂 斯皮尤 托德的老板
'Wassup!
咋咧!
Is that back?
这句话又流行了吗?
Because I've been dying for that to come back.
因为我一直渴望它再流行起来
'Wassup!
咋咧
Yeah!
耶!
That's my boy! Look at him!
这才是好小子 看看他
He ain't a tight-ass.
他绝不会是蠢驴
'Wassup!
咋咧!
'Wassup! 'Wassup!
咋咧! 咋咧!
'Wassup! 'Wassup!
咋咧! 咋咧!
'Wassup! 'Wassup!
咋咧! 咋咧!
'Wassup!
咋咧!
What's up?
怎么了?
Boo!
切!
That was terrible, Todd.
你真差劲 托德
So, I see the train coming,
于是 我看到火车驶来
and something kind of like takes over me, you know?
好像有什么在控制着我
Here you go, Abigail. Thank you.
给 阿碧盖 谢谢
And so, I decide to jump off the platform, right?
然后 我决定跳下站台
Snaps my legs in two.
夹紧我的腿
What did I expect? It was a 25-foot drop, you know?
我能怎么办? 那可是二十五英尺啊
Twenty-five feet?
二十五英尺?
So I grab Burrito Bandito over here,
我一把抓住那个肉卷
and I just roll him out of the way.
抱着他飞快地滚开
The train missed our skulls by inches.
火车差一点就压碎我们的头骨了
Why would you do something like that, Todd?
托德 你为什么要那样做呢?
You know, I really don't know, Steve.
我还真不知道 史蒂
I mean, why wouldn't you just buy another burrito?
我是说 你再买♥♥过个肉卷就好啦
Yeah, no, I know.
是的 我知道
I don't know what I could have been thinking.
我不知道当时在想什么
Maybe he was high on the hashish.
或许刚嗑完大♥麻♥还在恍惚中
Hey, how about I get you another beer, huh, Donny Boy?
东尼 再来瓶啤酒怎么样?
Twenty's my limit.
我最多只能喝二十瓶
No! No, no.
不 不
But, Donny Boy has got to go to bed, though, right?
可是 东尼你要回房♥休息了吧?
Oh, fiddlesnatch.
胡说八道
It's the afternoon.
这才下午啊
Remember you told me you wanted to get to bed early?
还记得你说要早点上♥床♥睡觉的吗?
Oh, okay. Yeah, no, no, no.
好吧 是的
Todd's right.
托德说的对
Oh, my God.
天呐
You're right, it is him.
你是对的 就是他
You're Donny Berger. It's him.
你是东尼·伯杰 就是他
Do you remember that kid
你们还记得在萨摩韦尔
who got his teacher pregnant in Somerville?
有个男孩搞大了他老师的肚子吗?
Wait a minute, that is you.
等等 那就是你
Donny Berger.
东尼·伯杰
Didn't you and your teacher have a kid?
你不是跟你的老师生了个小孩吗?
Wait a minute. What was his name?
等等 那小孩叫什么来着?
Indiana Jones, huh?
印第安纳·琼斯 是吧?
It was something fantastic like that.
或者别的一样炫的名字
Yeah, Han Solo Berger.
恩 汉·索罗·伯杰
Yeah, Han Solo, Han Solo. What ever happened to him?
是的 汉·索罗 汉·索罗 他后来怎么样了?
What happened to him?
他怎么样了?
He actually became a dick.
他后来成了个侦探
A private eye, I mean.
私♥家♥侦♥探♥
One of the biggest and hairiest dicks in the world.
世上最厉害也是最危险的侦探之一
Okay.
好吧
Hey, look, this might seem weird,
听着 这听起来可能有点怪异
but do you think you would ever...
但你可以...
Bone your wife?
搞你老婆吗?
Yeah, I mean, I'd love to.
我当然乐意
She's a hot little number.
她可是个大美人啊
'Well, you know, I was just going to ask you for an autograph, but...
其实我只是想跟你要个签名 但...
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. On her tits or...
哦哦 抱歉 是签在她的胸上还是...
Or a piece of paper would be fine. Yeah, or a photo.
写在纸上就可以了 或者照片
Okay, well, this has been fun.
好吧 真有意思
But, Donny...
可是 东尼...
Not to toot my own horn,
我不是在吹
but I got kind of close once.
但我也曾经差点上了威斯老师
Mrs. Weiss, freshman geometry.
一年级的几何课上
And I think she would have done it, too.
我觉得她也想做
I just didn't know how to make the move.
我只是不知道怎么主动
You know what? I would have killed
你知道吗? 我多想
to bang my eighth grade biology teacher, Mrs. Cohn.
上我八年级的生物老师 科恩老师
I used to dream of dissecting her with my penis.
我多想用我的老二把她给解剖了
It's so weird what goes on upstairs when you hit puberty.
青春期的时候 脑袋里都是些怪东西
I actually stole my middle school librarian's glasses
我中学的时候 还偷了图书管♥理♥员♥的眼镜
to wear while I masturbated.
戴着手♥淫♥
What is that about?
那都是怎么回事?
In my day, when I got into trouble,
在我那个年代 我最讨厌
the headmaster would slap your hand with his dick.
校长用他的老二拍打我的手
She wins.
她赢了