爸爸的好儿子（2012）

like the last three whores I married, huh?
就像我的前三任婊♥子♥一样 懂吗?
True story. All three? Whores.
这是真的 三个都是婊♥子♥
Well, guys, this weekend,
好了 朋友们 这个周末
mi casa es su casa.
我的房♥子就是你们的房♥子
You know, every member of my staff are lucky to be in this country,
知道吗 这里每个员工都非常幸运在这里工作
so feel free to abuse the shit out of 'em.
完全不用担心被我责骂
Go get the fucking bags!
快滚去搬行李!
Well, Mrs. Spirou, I've always said that if the finance game
嗯 斯皮尤夫人 我一直认为 如果金融市场
was an amusement park, your son would be a roller coaster,
就是游乐场的话 你的儿子一定是过山车
and I would just ride him all day long.
而我就是整日坐在上面的游客
That came out weird.
这么说的确有点怪
Yeah, well, Stevie likes to think
嗯 史蒂总是认为
that he's the star of the family.
他是我们家最耀眼的明星
But before he was born, I modeled a bathing suit
不过在他出生前 我还是个火♥辣♥的泳衣模特
for a Woolworth advertisement.
为伍尔沃斯拍广♥告♥的
Well, you still have quite a figure on you there, Delores.
迪萝斯 你的身材依旧不错嘛
Yeah, I can see where Steve got his rocking bod.
是啊 我能看出史蒂的热辣身材是遗传谁的了
Why, thank you.
哎呀 谢谢
Chad's here!
查得来了
Oh, my God. Hooray.
哦 我的天呐 好极了
Fantastic.
太好了
I guess they didn't want to see it.
我猜他们并不想看我吧
Yay, Chad!
哦 查得!
Come here. Mom.
快过来 妈
Sweetheart. I'm home.
亲爱的 我回来了
Dad, how are you, sir?
爸 先生您好啊
You look great. Thank you, sir.
你看起来真不错 谢谢 先生
Hey, Chad, I'm Todd.
嗨 查得 我是托德
Oh, my God.
哦 我的天呐
Oh, God, I missed you, sis.
哦 天呐 姐 我好想你
That's a good hug.
抱的好紧啊
Chad, this is my fiancé, Todd.
查得 这是我的未婚夫 托德
Pleasure to meet you, Chadwick.
很高兴见到你 查得
Are you a soldier?
你是陆军吗?
No.
不是
Sailor? No.
海军? 不是
Airman? No.
空军? 也不是
Girl Scout?
女童子军?
No.
不是
Well, then I'd prefer if you take your fingers away from your forehead
哦 那你最好拿开额前的手指
and you shake my hand like the civilian you are.
像普通平民一样和我握手
Yeah, sorry, I'm stupid.
对不起 我这样做很傻
I don't know why I did that.
我也不知道为什么我要这么做
Honest mistake. Come here, I want to show you this.
无心之过 过来吧 我想跟你说些事
Look, if you ever do anything to hurt my sister,
听好了 如果你做出任何伤害我姐的事情
I will take my government-issued service revolver,
我会拿起政♥府♥发给我的左轮手♥枪♥
stick it straight up your fuppin' poop chute, and empty the clip.
瞄准你疯狂射击直到弹夹空了
Do you feel me?
明白我意思吗?
Yes, I totally feel you... Dawg.
是 完全明白...老兄
Randy Jackson, right?
这是学兰迪·杰克逊是吧?
I've got 10 ways to kill you
就算我现在赤手空拳
with my bare hands right now.
我也有十种方法可以杀死你
Don't.
不要啊
Don't.
不要
Hi, sweetheart, how are you?
嗨 亲爱的 你好吗?
Can I see Randall Morgan possibly?
我可以见见兰多·摩根么?
Yeah, you're gonna need an appointment.
嗯 不过你需要预约
I knew you were gonna say that.
我就知道你会这么说
But you know what? Tell him Donny Berger's out here.
不过你知道吗? 告诉他东尼·伯杰就在外面
He'll be pretty psyched to see an old friend.
他会很激动地出来见老友的
You know what? Mr. Morgan's on vacation right now. I'm sorry.
那你知道吗? 摩根先生现在正在度假
He's on vacation? That son of a... Oh, hey!
他在度假? 那个混... 哦 嘿!
Vanilla Ice.
香草冰.
Randall's just getting makeup.Go ahead to the green room.
兰多正在化妆 去休息室找他吧
Vanilla, what's up, guy?
香草 你怎么了?
It's been a long time. How you been?
好久不见了 你最近怎么样了?
Are you seriously giving me the silent treatment still?
你就真准备一直冷战下去么?
You know that hurts me.
你知道这样做很伤我心
Yeah? Well, that's why I'm giving it to you.
是吗? 这可就是冷战的原因
How's it feel, chump?
笨蛋 你觉得怎样?
It's breaking my heart.
你深深的伤了我的心
We were friends for 20 years, guy.
兄弟 我们都二十年的朋友了
We were friends until you banged my mother!
在你上我妈之前 我们都还是朋友
I didn't know it was her, I swear to God!
我真不知道她是你妈 我对天发誓!
It's not like her last name is Ice.
她又不姓阿冰
You should've known by the haircut!
光是看发型 你就该知道了吧!
Aw, come on, Vanilla Bean Latte.
哦 别这样嘛 香草小冰冰
Will you just... What?
你能不能... 什么?
I'm just saying, I'm in big trouble, guy.
我刚才说 我最近身陷窘境 我的朋友
This, like, monetary thing.
是财政上的
I'm going to prison if I don't get 43 large,
要是我没有四万三千块 我就得坐牢
so...
所以...
What, do you think I got that kind of money?
什么 你认为我有这么多钱?
Of course you got that kind of money.
你当然有
Royalties from Ice Ice Baby, you must be fucking loaded!
Ice Ice Baby版税准让你发财了
Man, listen, Queen took 50%.
听着 兄弟 皇后乐队拿走了50%的版税
Suge took the other 60%.
唱片公♥司♥拿走了另外的60%
I fucking owe money when that shit gets played, man!
音乐发行时 我他妈就开始欠钱了啊喂！
Dude, come on, will you please
兄弟 别这样 你就不能
stop, collaborate and listen?
"停手 和好与倾听"吗?
Oh, here...
哦 这...
What? No, I love that song.
怎么了? 我超爱那首歌♥
You know that shit.
你知道的
I was on top of that, fucking day one.
我唱这首歌♥超赞的 无人能比
Listen, man. I work at a ice rink now.
听着 老兄 我现在在溜冰场工作
I deep-fry chicken nuggets, man.
我只是个卖♥♥炸鸡块的
I'll get you a deal on a barbecue sauce packet.
烧烤酱包就要多少有多少
Fucking A, buddy.
他妈的 兄弟
Both of us. This sucks.
我们俩都过得太糟了
Broke. Who'd have thought this would happen to us?
破产 谁能想到我们会破产呢?
Maybe I should call your mother.
或许我应该打电♥话♥给你妈妈
She'll give me the money, I know that.
她会给我钱的 这我肯定
What? What? What? What?
什么? 什么? 什么? 什么?
Hey, dude.
喂 老兄
Didn't spill my beer, fucker.
你个混♥蛋♥ 别弄洒我的啤酒
Fuck you.
混♥蛋♥
Nobody comes in here and starts busting up my joint
没人敢在我的地盘撒野
unless I got cameras rolling.
特别是我装了监控摄像头之后
Look, Donny, nobody remembers what Tiger Woods did,
东尼 连老虎·伍兹做过什么都没人记得了
let alone something that happened 25 years ago.
更何况二十五年前的名人
I'm telling you, when I walk down the street,
我告诉你 当我走在街上时
people are like, "There's that guy! "
人们还会 "看 就是他! "
I'm still fucking big, dude.
我依然是个大混♥蛋♥
All right, how about this?
好的 这样吧
I'm doing a show on '80s train wrecks.
我正在做八十年代过气明星秀
Maybe I slip you in after that Milli Vanilli guy, all right?
或许我能安排你在米力瓦利合唱团之后 好吗?
Who, Fab? He's a fucking buddy of mine. Yeah.
太好了 他可是我的好兄弟 嗯
That would be huge, dude.How much money?
那太棒了 兄弟 这个有多少钱?
Maybe 400 bucks.
或许四百块吧
Four hundred bucks?
四百块?
Dude, I need 43 G-birds.
老兄 我需要四万三千块
What are we talking about right now?
你以为我们现在在说什么呢?
You need $43, 000?
你需要四万三千美元?
Are you back on drugs?
你又开始吸毒了吗?
Yeah. It's never...
是的 这不行...
This is never going to happen. Never.
这不可能 绝不可能
Little bit more blush if you can.
可以的话再来些腮红
Just like you did that John Wayne Bobbitt in his penis reunion show.
就像你帮波比特在他的阴♥茎♥重聚秀的那样
That's actually a good idea, a reunion.
这主意真不错 重聚
Me and Miss McGarricle, together again, live from a women's prison.
我和麦嘉老师再次重聚 在监狱进行现场直播