爸爸的好儿子（2012）

Oh, boy.
哦 可怜的孩子
That squirrel and its demonic eyes.
那只松鼠和它那魔鬼般的眼睛
Tiny piece of skin flapping in its mouth.
以及它嘴里的皮肤碎渣
One lone scraggly hair.
混着长长又凌乱的毛发
A pubic hair.
不 是阴毛吧
I mean, maybe this is a blessing, though, guys.
我说 其实这也算是因祸得福吧 大伙们
Do we really want Father McNutty to be the one
我们难道真的愿意麦纳利神父
who brings these two guys together?
为他俩证婚吗?
I mean, I don't think so.
我就不同意了
I'm pretty tied into the church crowd
我十分看不惯那些教堂那一帮子人
Rageaholics Anonymous and whatnot.
不管是那些无名易怒者 还是其他的
I could find a priest for you.
我可以为你找个神父
I mean, what type are we looking for?
你想要哪种类型的
Maybe a younger guy.
找个年轻点的吧
Younger guy.
年轻神父
How about a black guy?
那黑人可以吗
Now, I like that.
这我喜欢
It's very urban, very street.
非常有都市感又很嘻哈
Okay.
好的
But that still doesn't get us a church.
但是 我们还缺一个教堂
Well, I'll tell you where I would tie the knot
我告诉你们 如果我是这两个孩子
if I was these two sexy kids.
我会选哪里结婚
Donny, this is just such a great idea.
东尼 这主意太棒了
Don't you love the pergola?
谁会不喜欢这绿长廊啊?
They're gorgeous!
这太漂亮啦
You know what, maybe a little more girly shit up on the arch.
我觉得吧 这拱门应该弄娘气些
You know, you're right.
你说得对
Excuse me, sir, put some more girly shit up there.
先生 麻烦 多往上面加点漂亮东西吧
Calling all ladies!
所有女士集♥合♥!
The bus for the bachelorette party is here! Come on!
去单身派对的车到了 快来!
Honey, you guys have fun at the bachelor party!
亲爱的 你们单身派对也玩开心点吧
Okay.
好的
Don't get too crazy. Know your limits.
别闹得太疯了 要清楚自己的底线啊
Okay. We're having a bachelor party?
好的 我们要开单身派对吗
That's, like, my thing, man.
完全是我的专长啊
Hookers, blow, balloons filled with piss.
妓♥女♥ 大♥麻♥ 装满尿的气球
I mean, the sky's the limit, kid.
我是说 我们是可以无下限的
No, no, no. Donny, we're all set.
不 不 不 东尼 我们都准备好了
I have arranged a very special evening for us tonight.
我为大家准备了一个特别的夜晚
This is gonna be awesome!
这一定很棒!
I read about this place in Oprah's magazine.
我在奥普拉的杂♥志♥上找到这个地方的
I don't know if she writes the articles herself,
我不知道这是不是她自己写的
but there's some real good stuff in it.
但这里的确有好东西
Hi, we're for the Todd Peterson party, please.
你好 我们是来参加托德·彼得森派对的
Good evening, gentlemen.
晚上好 先生们
Mrs. Ravensdale.
你好 雷文德夫人
Phil, what a blessing.
菲尔 真幸运啊
Welcome to your bachelor party package here at He Time For Men.
欢迎来到男人时光为你举办的单身派对
Woo-hoo, motherfucker!
噢噢 太他妈好了
Okay. All right.
好的
We're gonna set you up with some nice plush robes,
我们马上会送上舒服的绒毛长袍
and then we have a wonderful full evening planned
之后 我们还会有绝妙的通宵计划
with massage, facial and nail treatments,
包括按♥摩♥ 脸部和指甲护理
and then we're going to send you home with
当你们离开时 我们还会赠送一份特殊礼物
a special gift of our house-made lavender scrub.
我们自♥制♥的薰衣草磨砂膏
Confucius say,
孔子曰
"What the fuck are you talking about? "
你♥他♥妈♥在说什么?
No, Donny,
不要这样 东尼
Phil thought it would be nice before the wedding
菲尔觉得在婚礼之前
for us to all take a little time to just chill and mellow.
我们能放松一下会非常好
My wife and I have been burning it on both ends all week
我和我老婆为了申请幼儿园
with the preschool applications,
精力都耗尽了
and I am ready to be pampered!
我已经准备好享受下了
All right, all right. Now we're talking.
好的 好的 重点终于来了
Hey, thanks, honey. What the fuck's your name?
嘿 谢谢啦 美女 你什么名字啊?
Jessica. All right.
杰西卡 好的
Hey, come on. Here's to the kid.
嘿 来吧 这杯是给这孩子的
He's fucking getting all fucked up tonight!
他今晚绝对要玩疯点
Last night!
最后一晚了!
Fucking last night of poontang for this kid.
可以乱搞的最后一晚啦
What the fuck is this?
这到底是什么鬼东西
It's water infused with cucumber, rose petal and harvest sandalwood.
这是浸泡了黄瓜 玫瑰花瓣和檀香的水
It tastes like fucking dick infused with balls.
这尝起来像是浸泡在睾丸里的阳♥具♥
And a side of fucking Rod Stewart's jizz.
而且还有一半是洛史都华的精♥液♥
Wait a minute.
等一会儿 菲尔
What are we drinking water at a fucking bachelor party for, Phil?
在单身派对上喝水是怎么回事?
You got to show my son your tits later.
你待会一定得让我儿子看你奶♥子♥啊
Promise me. Promise me.
答应我 答应我啊
That's nice. Yeah, good.
舒服 啊 太舒服了
This is great, sweetheart.
按得很好 甜心
Really good.
真的很好
Nice work. You're going deep on us, huh?
做得好 你想给我们好印象 是吧?
That's it.
这就对了
What's this, sir?
先生 这是什么
That's just a little tip, you know, if you give me a full package.
如果你能给我全套服务 这就是小费 你懂的
Okay. That's a $150 additional charge.
好的 那要额外多收150块
You're talking to the wrong guy.
那你就找错人了
That's a little out of my price range.
这已经超出了我能承受的价格了
It includes scalp treatment, reflexology.
这包括头部按♥摩♥和脚部反射按♥摩♥
How much is it to tickle my pickle?
那你满足我的"黄瓜"要多少钱
To yank my crank? To give me a ho-jo to go?
去猛拉我的"手柄"? 给我来点视觉冰淇淋?
Sweetheart, I'm not asking for a finger up the ass.
甜心 我可没要求用手来弄屁♥股♥哦
I just want you to just jerk it a little bit.
我只是想让你上下抽动一下
Donny, this isn't a brothel.
东尼 这不是妓院
Then I'm completely confused what the fuck we're doing here right now!
那我就纳闷我们来这里做什么!
So, what,
给你看又怎样?
you're just going to get a hand job in front of all of us?
你准备在我们面前打飞机吗?
I don't know. Am I?
我不知道啦 可以看吗?
I guess not!
不能打了!
You know, I have worked very hard on this night, Don,
你要知道 东尼 我为了今晚花了很多心思的
and you're being just plain rude.
你表现太无礼了
Phil, no! Phil! No, no. Don't do this.
菲尔 不要 菲尔 不 不要这样
Nice. That's nice.
不错 这样很好
That's good. That's good.
很好 很好
It tickles.
好痒啊
Just fight through it, man. It's worth it.
忍♥下吧 值得的
If you stop, I swear I will kill you.
如果你停下来 我保证杀了你
You know what, if I don't see a tit in five minutes,
你知道吗 如果五分钟之内还没有奶♥子♥看
I'm going to strangle this motherfucker.
我就掐死这个混账
You should be ashamed of yourself for fucking arranging this bullshit!
你应该为你安排的这些狗屎感到羞耻
Well, I feel very relaxed,
我觉得非常舒服
and I think this was a good use of a Groupon.
而且这很好地利用了团购
You fucked us, buddy!
你扫了我们的兴 兄弟
Five more minutes till you get to choose amongst four
先生们 再等五分钟 你们就有四款
artisanal house-blended chocolates, gentlemen.
手工巧克力可以吃了
We can't let tonight end like this, boys.
兄弟们 我们不能就这样结束今夜
We got to go out.
我们要走了
I'm telling you,
我告诉你们
I can't let my son have a...
我不能让我儿子的...
My son of a gun best friend have his bachelor party be this.
我好兄弟单身派对搞成这样子
You fucking... You guys got your face covered in leprechaun shit.
尼玛的 你们还在脸上涂满妖精屎
We should be getting whacked off,
我们现在应该在打飞机
all of us, as a fucking team!
我们都应该 作为一支乱搞队
Donny, I think we've had enough excitement for one night.
东尼 我认为今晚已经足够刺♥激♥了
Besides, it's not like you can throw
而且 这么晚了
together a whole other party this late.
你去哪再搞一个派对呢
I could have six chicks making out with each other on our laps
我可以找到六个妞在我们大腿上跳舞
in 10 minutes.
给我十分钟就好
I could stay out a little later.
我可以晚点回家
Bam!
好波!