爸爸的好儿子（2012）

"Get out of the way, buddy! "
"闪开 兄弟! "
Next thing you know, I realize
然后呢 我突然意识到
this thing's going to hit me.
这火车快要撞上我了
I fucking remember, though,
不过 我他妈还记得
I had a kung fu instructor
我的功夫老师
who taught me how to tighten the diaphragm,
教过我如何收紧横膈膜
and I bring it in there.
然后我收紧肚皮
And I feel the train go by.
感受火车在我身上呼啸而过
My eyes are closed.
我紧闭着双眼
Rips my shirt off my body, okay?
身上的衣服都给扯掉了好吗?
I open my eyes.
然后睁开眼睛
I see all these chicks just kind of looking at me, going, "What is that?
所有的女孩们都看着我 说"他在干嘛? "
"That's the fucking most chiseled guy I've ever seen. "
那是我见过的最帅的男人了"
I worked out at the time.
那时我经常健身嘛
Anyways, the place goes bananas for me,
怎样都好 那里因为我都失控了
I sign a couple of titties,
我还给好些女孩签名了
and I started hanging out with this guy ever since.
从那之后我就开始和这家伙一起玩儿了
Best friends, right? Here you go, my boy.
最好的朋友 对吧? 就是这样 老弟
I just can't believe I've never heard that story before.
我真不相信之前居然没听说过这事
Why wouldn't you just get another burrito, Todd?
你为什么不干脆再买♥♥一个肉饼呢 托德?
Wouldn't it be dirty?
捡起来的不会很脏吗?
Great questions.
问得好
It's one of the many things about this story that's pretty hard to believe.
这也是故事中难以置信的一点
So, where are you staying, Donny?
那么 你要住在哪呢 东尼?
He's not staying.
他不会住在这里的
No.
没错
I can't stay. Yeah, no, he's right.
我不能留下来 对 他说得对
Oh, pshaw. I mean, invite him to stay here.
呃 啐 我是说 邀请他留下来
You have to stay.
你一定要留下来
He's your best friend. You're his best friend.
他是你最好的朋友 你是他最好的朋友啊
Sheesh, I'm not messing with her.
我才不要打扰他俩
I mean, you are my best friend, guy.
我是说 你是我最好的朋友嘛
And, Jamie, you can be my breast friend.
洁米 你可以做我的朋乳哦
Breast
朋乳
By the way, dude, you look fantastic.
顺便一提 老兄 你看起来棒极了
You lost all the weight, homeboy.
你减掉了所有的肥肉 小子
I miss the titties.
我真想念你以前的"胸器"
You saved my life? Seriously?
你救我一命? 开什么国际玩笑
What? They ate that up.
什么嘛? 他们都相信了
You came up with a whole lot of nothing.
是你自己想不出故事来
That's a nice suitcase, by the way.
顺便一提 你的旅行包不错啊
What is that, Louis Vuitton?
什么牌子 驴牌吗?
This is a Hefty bag.
这只是个大袋子
What the fuck are you talking about?
你说的什么鬼话啊?
What do you want, Donny? Money?
你想要什么 东尼? 钱吗?
You heard I was doing well, so you came looking for a handout?
你听说我混得不错 所以来找我要钱?
I don't want none of your money. How is that? Okay?
我不想要你的钱 这样行了吧? 啊?
I get it. You don't like me.
我懂了 你不喜欢我
I exploded.
我都被炸死了
I wish you had exploded.
我倒希望你被炸死了
That way, I wouldn't have to see your stupid face anymore!
那样我就再也不用看到你的蠢脸了
Did you happen to notice
你就没有注意到
I created a whole fake life just so I could get away from you?
我捏造自己身份 就是为了摆脱你
Your mother's sick, by the way.
顺便说一下 你妈病了
I don't believe you.
我不相信你
They don't know how long she's got.
他们也不知道她病多久了
What is that, nunchucks?
那是什么 双节棍?
I told her you would visit her up at the prison.
我跟她说你会去监狱探望她的
I'm kind of thinking you're the kind of guy who would pull through for Mumsie.
我有点觉得你能让你妈恢复健康
Know what I'm saying?
明白我的话吗?
She'd do the same for you.
她也会愿意为你做同样的事
Really?
是吗?
Yeah. Saturday's the last visiting day
是啊 这周六是她手术前的
before the big surgery, so...
最后一个探望日 所以...
So let me get this straight.
那先让我搞清楚
You want me to go visit my "sick mom"
你想让我在我婚礼的前一天
that I haven't talked to in years, in prison,
去监狱探望我那多年没来往的
the day before my wedding.
"生病的妈妈"
Correct.
正确
Not happening, asshole.
想得美 混♥蛋♥
What the fuck did I do to you
我他妈对你做什么了
to make you hate me so much?
让你这么恨我?
I am fucking baffled right now.
我他妈现在落魄得很
Well, maybe you don't remember,
好吧 也许你自己不知道
but you were basically the worst parent ever.
但基本上你就是世上最糟糕的父亲
Me? I did everything for you, buddy,
我? 我为你掏心掏肺啊 老兄
and I never gave you an ounce of shit about nothing.
我也没给过你什么亏待啊
You never gave me nothing.
你是根本没给过我什么
I gave you a snake.
我给过你一条蛇
Yeah, and then it died after it ate all your Quaaludes.
是的 然后在吃了你的安♥眠♥药♥后挂掉了
That was the only time anybody's ever seen a king cobra laugh.
那是唯一一次有人能看到眼镜蛇笑
And I take pride in that, so fuck you.
对此我很骄傲 混♥蛋♥
Yeah, great. You know what?
是啊 很棒 你知道吗?
I basically had to raise myself, Donny.
我基本上是自己长大的 东尼
I never learned how to swim.
我从没学过怎么游泳
I don't even know how to ride a bike.
我连自行车都不会骑
You know how fucking humiliating that is?
你知道那有多丢人吗?
What about Mr. Mitty? Remember him?
那米帝先生呢? 你记得他吗?
What? No. What's that?
什么? 不 他是谁?
Mr. Mitty. I used to put an oven mitt on my hand.
米帝先生 我以前经常带防热手套扮米帝先生
He would cheer you up all the time when you were sad.
每次你难过了 他总是会让你开心起来
"Don't be upset, young man.
不要沮丧 年轻人
"I'm your best friend.
我是你最好的朋友
"Even though I'm an oven mitt. "
尽管我只是一只防热手套
No, I don't remember that, okay?
不 我不记得了 好吗?
You know what I do remember?
你知道我都记得些什么吗?
You making me drive you home from the beach
你让我开车把你从海滩载回家
'cause you got too drunk.
因为你喝多了
It makes sense to me.
这很合理啊
When somebody's hammered,
当一个人醉了
they have another guy drive home.
他们就让另一个人载他回家
I was eight!
我当时只有八岁啊
Well, you looked 14 'cause you were such a huge fat fuck.
可你看起来有14岁因为你当时是个大胖子
I'm sorry.
抱歉
You are such an asshole.
你真是个混♥蛋♥
Dude, you're a millionaire now,
兄弟 你现在是百万富翁了
and you're marrying that hot chick.
而且你要跟那个辣妹结婚了
I must have done a pretty decent job as a dad, don't you think?
我肯定是个相当不错的父亲 你不觉得吗?
Oh, yeah? You want to check in on your pretty decent job?
哦 是吗? 你想要检查你做得多不错吗?
Oh, my God.
哦 天呀
You're a junkie? 'Who's your supplier?
你是个瘾君子? 谁给你货的?
'Cause I'll smack that motherfucker around.
我要灭了那混账东西
It's insulin, you dick.
这是胰岛素 混♥蛋♥
I'm a diabetic
我有糖尿病
'cause you let me eat cake and lollipops for breakfast every day.
因为你每天早饭都让我吃蛋糕和棒棒糖
But that's what you fucking asked for.
但那是你♥他♥妈♥吵着要的呀
Yeah, you're supposed to say no.
是 可你应该拒绝啊
You know, I weighed 400 pounds by the time I was 12.
你要知道 我十二岁的时候竟然重四百磅
You know how hard it was to take that weight off?
你知道减肥是多不容易吗?
All right, all right.
好啦 好啦
I didn't know what I was doing. I had no one helping me.
我不知道我当时在做什么 没人帮我
Grandpa was a psycho. You know that.
你爷爷是个疯子 这你知道的
Han Solo, don't be like this.
汉·索罗 不要这样
I'm a good person.
我是个好人
Okay, don't call me that, all right?
好了 不要那样叫我 行吗?
My name's Todd now.
现在我的名字是托德
Call yourself Han Solo. You're dressed like him.
管你自己叫汉·索罗吧 你打扮倒像他
Good one.
说得好
I'm just saying, buddy, give me a chance.
我只想说 兄弟 再给我一次机会吧
Do you have any Axe body spray?
你有艾科男士喷雾吗?