在我四处游荡时突然想到
It dawned on me when I was walking around...
你写过那么多关于誓言的书
that while you wrote a funny book about vows...
却从没有给我写过
you never actually wrote any vows from you to me.
我写过
Oh, I did.
但那个婚礼没有如期而至
But then that wedding never happened.
我想我们都在犯傻
I guess we all make stupid mistakes.
你曾说的
You were saying.
誓言
Vows.
我原创了一段誓言
I took the liberty of making up some vows for you.
请跟我念
Repeat after me, please.
除了我的丈夫 我绝不亲吻任何男人
I will never kiss another man other than my husband.
除了我的丈夫 我绝不亲吻任何男人
I will never kiss another man other than my husband.
我不再担心
I will stop worrying about
我们变成形同陌路的夫妻
being a boring old married couple...
因为这永远不会发生
because we never will be.
我不再担心
I will stop worrying about
我们变成形同陌路的夫妻
being a boring old married couple...
因为永远不会发生
because we never will be.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
只有我们两个
It's gonna be just us two.
这就够了吗
Are we enough?
孩子嘛
Kid...
还是就你和我吧
we're too much.
你觉得这样的生活如何呢
How's that for a little sparkle?
十分精彩
That's a lot of sparkle.
为什么是黑钻石
Why'd you get a black diamond?
因为你是独一无二的
Because you're not like anyone else.
这样我就放心了
That's a relief.
我以为你要说这是你灵魂的影射
I thought you were gonna say it's the color of my soul.
时光流淌
And, like it always will, time moved us on.
不久之后...
And in the future...
我很骄傲的宣布全球家庭组织
I am proud to report that the settlement we attained for
达成的协议远超出预期
Global Families Incorporated surpassed their expectations.
米兰达在合适的律师事务所
Miranda learned that at the right law firm,
重新定位自我
where her voice was valued...
且乐在其中
she was also fun at work.
7月4日 自♥由♥的国土上
And that July 4th, on an East Hampton sand dune...
在荷尔蒙之都东汉普顿的沙滩
Samantha learned that good things do come to those who wait
萨曼莎和里卡德完成约会
when she and Rikard
她明白良辰金宵终将
resumed their date in the land of the free...
降于真心等待之人
and the home of the hormones.
夏洛特知道
And Charlotte learned that
自己永无后顾之忧
she never really had anything to worry about.
事实证明 她那性感的保姆
Turns out, her hot nanny
更爱热辣的保姆伴侣
preferred the company of other hot nannies.
-斯坦福 来点儿饮料 -拜托
- Stanford, here's a refresher. - Yes, please.
-生日快乐 -你在做什么 你干了
- Happy birthday. - What are you doing? You drank it all?
萝丝3岁了
And as Rose turned 3...
我们糟糕的二人关系终于结束了
and our marriage grew out of the terrible twos...
大人物和我越来越觉得
Big and I found less and
没必要到原来的旧居放松
less need to escape to the other apartment.
但我们仍保留着它
But we kept the option open.
以备他人之需
Just in case someone needed those two days off.
至于我 我开始觉得
As for me, I began to think of marriage...
婚姻就像阿布扎比主妇的面纱
much like the Real Housewife of Abu Dhabi's veil.
顺应传统 按你的方式为其增光添彩
You have to take the tradition and decorate it your way.
替我做决定吧
Trying to make up my mind for me.
站住 照我说的去做
Well, stop it and do as I tell you.
利奥波德
Leopold.
远离倔强的女人 有诅咒的
Never take a stubborn woman they're a curse.
我妈警告我远离固执的女人
My mother warned me against stubborn women.
利奥波德
Leopold.
别跟着我 否则我报♥警♥了
Now, stop following me or I'll call the police.
尽管黑白的电影依然精彩纷呈
Because while movies may be wonderful in black and white...
至于恋爱
when it comes to relationships...
依然有色彩斑斓的生活需要去拓展
there's a whole range of colors and options to explore.
这就是我现在的写照
And that's where I am today.
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