and I'm here with Schmooze for Jews.
今天的来宾是总统初选候选人…
And my guest today is presidential nominee...
跟约翰‧甘迺迪总统一样帅的 杰克‧史坦顿州长
and J. F. K. look-alike, Governor Jack Stanton.
- 嗨,伊兹 - 嗨,杰克
Hi, Izzy. Hi, Jack.
杰克,我们之前谈到 你妈妈说过喜欢拉斯维加斯
Jack, when we were talking before, you were telling me that your mama liked Vegas.
请告诉我们 她都去哪里?住在哪里?
As a tip to our listeners, when she goes there, where does she stay?
- 哪一间酒店? - 她很喜欢住在米高梅酒店
Which hotel? Well, she's pretty loyal to the MGM Grand.
听好了,是米高梅酒店,各位赌城迷
MGM Grand. Listen up, you Vegas fans.
她最喜欢谁的表演?是韦恩‧牛顿吗?
And, and who is her favorite act there? Is it Wayne Newton?
当然是,人人都爱韦恩‧牛顿 他的表演真精彩
Absolutely. Everybody loves Wayne Newton. He's marvelous.
许多年前他也上过本节目
He was once a guest on this show. That was many, many years ago.
为了满足我们的赌城迷
Now, to satisfy the curiosity of our Vegas fans,
你妈妈在玩21点时很保守吗?
when your mother plays blackjack, where does she stand pat?
- 16点就够了吗? - 她有点激进
Is it 16? Well, she is a bit of a gambler.
- 最少要17点才叫停 - 天哪
Uh, but sometimes she'll go up to 17. Oh, my.
抱歉,州长,有人告知 哈利斯参议员在线上
Uh, excuse me, Governor, but I'm told we have Senator Harris on the phone.
- 哈罗,这真是莫大的荣幸 - 谢谢你
Uh, hello. This is indeed an honor. HARRIS: Thank you.
我们正跟史坦顿州长谈到 她的妈妈很爱赌城
We were just talking with Governor Stanton
about how his mother loves Las Vegas.
参议员,我想知道 你妈妈最喜欢的度假地点
I was wondering, Senator, does your mother have a favorite vacation spot?
- 我妈过世了 - 真是遗憾
My mother's dead. Oh. I'm sorry.
杰克‧史坦顿应该以 恐吓本地的老人家为耻
Jack Stanton should be ashamed of the way he's scaring other elderly people down here.
- 你是说17点才叫停吗? - 什么?
You mean about going up to 17? What?
我没搞懂你的话
I'm not following you.
他告诉大家我要删减社会福利…
He's telling people I'm going to cut their Social Security and...
那是…拜托,劳伦斯 那是你的部分政见
It's, uh. . . Come on, Larry. It's part of your book.
每个人都知道你的把戏 下流的政♥治♥手段!
Everyone knows what you're doing down here, the sleazy politics you're playing!
- 我可以回应几句吗? - 请便
Is it okay if I get a word in here? Go ahead. Be my guest.
你是来宾啊!
What am I saying? You are my guest! (CHUCKLING)
劳伦斯,我拜读了你的竞选政策 第18页第3段
Larry, I'm lookin' at your campaign book here. Page 18, paragraph 3.
你那一项提案研究缩减生活费 代表什么意思?
What does it mean when you say you want to study a freeze of cost-of-living adjustments?
那只是可行性研究
Ah. That's only one possibility.
经过重新精算后再决定如何编列
Uh, we might want to rework how they're calculated.
我告诉你,生活费的调整计算 跟随通货膨胀率
I can tell you, cost-of-living adjustments
are calculated to keep up with inflation.
但是我觉得 你不认为是好主意
But I guess you don't think that's such a good idea.
- 等等!我没这么说 - 那就写在你的政策里面
Now, wait a minute! I didn't say that. It's right here in your book.
我是说应该要研究,谁知道研究的结果?
L-I said it has to be studied. Who knows?
我们也许会调高生活费
We might even want to spend more on cost-of-living adjustments.
参议员,请问你最喜欢的喜剧演员?
Tell me, Senator, who is your favorite comedian?
- 什么? - 我只是说明我的立场
What? I'm tellin' the folks what my positions are.
你是那个…
You're the one here that...
不不…你扭曲了我的立场
No, no, no. You're distorting my positions.
难怪大家都不信任政♥治♥!
This is the reason no one trusts the political process!
你不能只扞卫你的立场
You just can't defend your positions.
也不是你在玩的把戏
Not when you play these games.
各位女士先生,我们不能不断花费预算
Ladies and gentlemen, we just can't afford to keep spending money like this.
你刚才说还要提高生活费
You just said you might want to spend more
on cost-of-living adjustments.
劳伦斯,我觉得你糊涂了
Larry, I think you're confused.
不不…
No, no, no, no. (COUGHING)
抱歉,听着
Excuse me. But, uh, now listen. (CONTINUES COUGHING)
抱歉
Excuse me. (DIAL TONE)
怎么回事?他挂断了吗?
What happened? Did he hang up or. . . or what?
是的
Uh, yes. Yes, yes.
那么,州长,请问你最喜欢的喜剧演员?
Well, uh, so, tell me, Governor, who's your favorite comedian?
- 电♥话♥响个不停! - 很棒的逆转
The phones haven't stopped ringing ! It was fantastic, a rout.
真不敢相信哈利斯会打电♥话♥进来
We couldn't believe it when we heard Harris on the phone, could we?
他完蛋了,我们会取得佛罗里达州
No, no. We couldn't. He's fucked now. We're gonna walk away with Florida.
快点打开CNN!
Quick! Turn on CNN. Whoa, whoa. It's on. Shh.
有消息指出,哈利斯参议员两度心脏病发
ANNOUNCER ON TV: According to sources, Senator Harris suffered two heart attacks,
第一次是跟杰克‧史坦顿州长 在佛罗里达州的广播谈话节目后
the first one immediately after a phone call with Governor Jack Stanton
during a Florida radio talk show.
- 天哪 - 我们知道他有心脏病
Jesus. Oh, shit. We heard him having it.
他持续昏迷之中,情况不乐观
...he remains in a coma. His condition is listed as critical.
佛罗里达州的医院 不愿证实参议员的现况
Hospital sources in Florida will not confirm the senator's condition at this point.
很难说明对选战的后续效应
It's difficult to say exactly what effect this will have on the campaign.
目前还不清楚 哈利斯参议员的心肌状况
MAN 2: We don't know the damage to Senator Harris's heart muscle yet.
他的主治医生只发表了一般讯息
His doctors have only issued general bulletins regarding his condition.
因为如此严重的心脏病…
Because after such a massive heart attack...
还有两天就投票,我们该怎么办?
The vote's in two days. What do we do?
我们回大瀑布郡 黛西留在这里撤掉负面竞选文宣
We go back to Mammoth Falls, and Daisy stays and pulls the negative ads.
杰克,我了解你的感受,但是我们…
Jack, I understand how you feel. But couldn't we respect...
我们回大瀑布郡
We go back to Mammoth Falls.
大动脉中有大量的阻塞
MAN ON TV: There's a long history of plaque buildup in the arteries.
万一哈利斯参议员…
In the case of Senator Harris...
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
我太自满了
(DOORBELL RINGS) I was so prideful, so fuckin' smug.
你不可能知道会发生这种事
There was no way you could know this.
我们会修理到他
We were gonna whip his butt.
我应该客气点,放聪明一点
I could have been gracious. It would have been smarter.
很抱歉,那个人做了许多负面广♥告♥
Well, I'm sorry. The man cuts a vicious negative ad,
又在谈话节目偷袭 说你在玩下流的政♥治♥手段
then he ambushes you in a talk show
and he accuses you of sleazy politics.
而你还应该对他客气? 哇,这样对吗?
You're supposed to be gracious? Wha. . . Am I missing something here?
- 小杰克还好吗? - 他很好,继续
Is Jackie okay? Yeah, he's fine. Go ahead.
没时间停止开会了
This is no time to stop the meeting.
哈利斯是聪明人 他的议题是对的,他是对的
Harris is a smart man, and he's right about the damn issues. He's right.
他是傲慢的浑球,他揭你的疮疤
LUCILLE: He's a pompous son of a bitch. He rubbed your nose in it.
我也回敬了他,但这不是赢的手段
And I rubbed his nose right back in it, but that's not how you win the big ones.
好,我不知道该怎么办了
All right. I don't know what I'm gonna do now.
我应该今晚飞回去,安排胜选晚宴
I guess I have to fly back tonight, address the victory party,
再打电♥话♥去医院联络哈利斯夫人
try to get Mrs. Harris on the phone at the hospital again.
她还没回我的电♥话♥ 但是也不能怪她,对吧?
She hasn't been returning my phone calls, but, uh, can't blame her, can ya?
你觉得呢?
Ah. What do you think?
亨利
Henry.
刚才是怎么回事?你和郝尔德在看谁?
What the fuck was that in there? Who were you and Howard starin' at?
- 没什么 - 放屁
Nothing. No one. Bullshit. That wasn't nothin'.
跟苏珊说话的人是谁?
Who was that woman with Susan?
- 我见过她 - 她是胖威利的太太
It looked like what's-her-name, Fat Willie's wife.
为什么要盯着她?
Why is she worth starin' at?
- 亨利,到底是怎么回事? - 没事
Henry, what the fuck is goin' on here? Nothing.
(INDISTINCT TALKING, SHOUTING)
在赢得佛罗里达州之后…
MAN ON TV: Party atmosphere... (KNOCKING AT DOOR)
...after this win here in Florida.
来了,来了
Yeah. All right. All right. (KNOCKING CONTINUES)
贱种!
You son of a bitch !
子♥宫♥穿刺…直娘贼!
Amniocentesis. . . You motherfucker!
- 苏珊,对不起… - 你什么时候才要告诉我?
Susan, I-I'm sorry. . . When were you gonna tell me?
(SOBBING)
我太太目前不在身边
JACK ON TV: My wife could not be with me at this time.
- 他跟我儿子留在大瀑布郡 - 苏珊,我很…
She's with our son Jackie at Mammoth Falls... Susan, I'm...
我想表达同情…
I want to extend my sympathy...
好了,好了 我很抱歉,我很抱歉
Come on, come on. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
对于发生在一个好人身上的事
A terrible thing has happened to a good man. (CONTINUES SOBBING)
- 但是劳伦斯‧哈利斯是位斗士 - 对不起…
But Larry Harris is a fighter... Shh, shh, shh. I'm sorry.
藉由上帝的力量 他将再次重起奋斗,他是位可敬的对手
With God's help he will rise to fight again, a worthy and honorable opponent.
我深切地知道这个伟大的国家…
And I know every one of us throughout this great country...
对不起…
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
所有人都希望 哈利斯参议员能早日康复
...wishes Senator Harris a full and speedy recovery.
佛罗里达州的民众…
(CRYING CONTINUES) I think the people of Florida...
将明了我会放弃胜选感言 请求所有人为他祈祷
will understand if I forego any talk of victory or defeat
and ask them to join me in a prayer.
我们在纽约需要一位顾问,杰克
HOWARD: We'll need a consultant in New York, Jack.
诺曼‧艾许很不错
Norman Asher's good.
黛西,他妈的亨利在哪里?
JACK: Where the fuck is Henry? Daisy?
不知道,我跟你一起回来的
DAISY: I don't know. I just flew in with you, remember?
- 我们在纽约的支持率多少? - 22%
Brad, do we have the New York numbers? You're at 22.
哈利斯18%,昏迷中
And Harris is running at 18%, comatose.
该死,亨利
JACK: Shit, Henry.
- 很抱歉 - 州长要你加入纽约的行程
I'm really sorry. SUSAN: The governor would like your input on New York.
你觉得该如何处理哈利斯的事件?
How do you think they'll take the thing with Harris?
很显然,我们首先要确定 哈利斯是否继续竞选
Well, obviously, Susan, first we have to see if Harris is still in.
没什么用 露西儿?
That's not very helpful. Lucille?
如果哈利斯出局 而欧奇奥没改变心意加入
LUCILLE: If Harris is out and Ozio doesn't change his mind and jump in,
我敢说我们赢定了
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