恶老板2（2014）

- 抽水机 - 你搞得定吗?
- Pump. - You got it?
- 可以的 - 好
- I got it. - Yeah?
水流出来后 洗发液就会顺着水流出来...
Water comes out, the shampoo mixes with the water...
紧接着 就会流出护发液
then shortly after that, conditioner.
所以用 "洗浴好基友"
You shower in half the time
只花你平时一半的时间
with the Shower Buddy.
大多数美国人... 不知道你听说过没...
The average American... I don't know if you know this....
平均每周工作五十多小时
spends 50 hours a week working.
- 手酸死了 - 来 我帮你
- Hand's cramping up. - Here, let me help.
... 如果我们能替你们剩下五分钟...
...commuting. If we can save you just five minutes...
- 杆子是太干燥了吗? - 对 吐点口水润滑
- The whole rod's too dry, right? - Yeah, spit on it.
- 好点没? - 看吧 加了润滑剂好点吧
- Better? - See, yeah. If you lube it up, it's better.
没错 确实是
Oh, no, absolutely.
抱歉 这机器背后有个洞 我得用手指戳一下
I'm sorry. There's a hole in the back. I'm gonna stick my finger in it.
我们不想知道你怎么搞定的
We don't really care how you get it done.
赶快弄好它 尽快结束
Just get it done. Get it finished.
- 无论如何搞定它 - 直播嘛 对吧?
- Whatever it takes. - Live TV, right?
现场直播 你能怎么办?
Live TV. What are you gonna do?
- 好了 有水了 - 终于射出来了
- Yeah. Here we go. - Oh, here it comes.
嘿
Hey!
- 我早就说过 - 就像预先想的一样好使 对吧
- I told you. - Works just as promised, okay?
- 好了 现在可以关了 - 太炫酷了 我想要一个
- Now, go ahead and shut it off. - It's so cool. I want one.
你不能带走这一个 这是原型机
You can't have this one. It's the prototype.
但我们在找投资商
But we're looking for partners.
我说句话吧 我想加入 我来投资
I'll tell you right now. I'm sold. I wanna invest.
终于找到一个了 麦克
We got one. All right, Mike.
怎么和你们联♥系♥呢?
Now, how would I get in touch with you guys?
- 你可以上我们的网站- 抱歉 没听清
- You go straight to Nickkurtdale. - I'm sorry, what?
我们的网站 尼克kurtdale.com
It's our website. Nickkurtdale. com.
我确定我还是没把名字听清楚
I'm positive I'm not hearing that right.
是我们的名字 尼克·库尔特·黛尔
It's our names: Nick, Kurt, Dale.
尼克库尔特黛尔
Nickkurtdale.
快换掉那名字吧
Y'all gotta change that name.
不敢相信我们之前没有像这样宣传
Cannot believe we never said it out loud before.
纸上写的挺好的啊
It looked so good on paper.
可惜只是黄粱美梦
It was a nice dream while it lasted,
还是想想怎么求回我们以前的工作吧
but I think it's time we all go beg for our jobs back.
也许改接受现实了 我们根本不是造机器的料
Maybe just accept the fact that we'll always be cogs in the machine.
等等 "造机器的屌♥" 那是什么?
Wait. Cocks in the machine. What is that?
是 "料" 开头的
"Cogs." Guh.
知道么? 你说得对 我们不是当老板的料
You know what? You're right. We're not boss material.
我们像工蜂一样 像猪一样卖♥♥力干
We're worker bees. We're grunts.
噢 老兄 那首歌♥ 我现在听不得
Oh, boy. That song. I can't hear that now.
调成振动吧
Just put it on vibrate.
你能消停点吗?
Will you stop? Please?
我专门调这歌♥激励我们的
I picked this song to inspire us.
至少不是激励我
It's not inspiring me.
快看 未知来电
Look at this. Unknown caller.
- 赶紧接了吧 - 你好?
- Just answer it. - Hello?
是 我是 "洗浴好基友" 的
Yup, this is one of the Shower Buddy guys.
真的? 是的 不 当然 我当然知道你是谁
Really? Yes. No, of course. I know exactly who you are.
查查 "比尔德·斯特姆" 是什么鬼
Look up "Boulder Stream." Boulder Stream.
谢谢 我们以我们的产品为豪
Thank you. We're very proud of the product.
是 如果能用邮件把详情发给我们 就再好不过了
Yeah, if you just e-mail us the details, that'll be fine.
不是在做梦吧?
Is that a real thing?
- 嗯 我的邮箱? - 别用你的
- Yeah, my e-mail? - Not yours.
嗯 是phatballllz@hotmail.com
Yeah, it's phatballllz@hotmail.com.
是P-H-A-T-B-A-L-L...
It's P-H-A-T-B-A-L-L...
L-L-Z...
L-L-Z...
@hotmail.com
@hotmail.com.
好 谢谢你
Yeah. All right. Thank you. Yeah.
- 明天见 - 哇
- See you tomorrow. - Wow.
卧勒个槽 比尔德·斯特姆对 "洗浴好基友" 感兴趣
Holy shit. Boulder Stream loves the Shower Buddy.
比尔德·斯特姆到底是什么鬼?
Who the fuck is Boulder Stream?
北美首屈一指 最大的零售商
Only one of the largest catalog retailers in North America.
真不错
Nice.
当你心情好时 听起来就很不错
When you're in a good mood, it's a good song.
心情不好 就觉得很烂
Bad mood, bad song.
这就是艺术 真是良曲
That's art. That's good art.
- 老兄 这地方真是豪气 - 是 很不错
- Man, this place is legit. - Yeah, it's nice.
你看到那些免费曲奇么?
Did you see the free cookies?
你肯定看到了 你都快吃了四个了
Yeah, you clearly have. That's four of those.
你会吃得满脸都是巧克力的
You're gonna have chocolate on your face.
当我们见到这个人时...
When we meet this guy...
在握手的时候
when you shake his hand,
记得用另一只手摸对方的肘
- 这么握逼格很高 - 我不会握 做给我看看
- It's a classy move. - I don't know this move. Let me see.
- 像这样 - 拜托 静静好吗
- Like that. - Please, both sit down.
- 真不赖 - 这样如何? 还不错
- That's nice. - How about that? Not bad.
- 确实不错 - 你手指沾满巧克力了
- That's really good. - You got chocolate on your fingers.
现在沾到我夹克上了
Now it's on my jacket.
拿点水抹掉
Put water on it.
不要水擦 那样会让污渍凝固的
I don't need water. That will set it.
别拿着曲奇离我这么近
Get the cookie away from me.
不会 就像以毒攻毒那样
No, it's like a fire-on-fire thing.
不 水会越弄越糟
No, the water will set it.
哈! 你们都到了 我的 "洗浴好基友"
Ha! There they are. There are my shower buddies.
你们好吗? 活生生站在面前
How are you? In the flesh.
还以为是早间节目呢
It's just like on that morning show.
你们总是在奋斗 我很欣赏
You're always fighting. I love it.
- 确实是... - 我是雷斯特·汉森
- Yeah, it's a... - Rex Hanson.
- 噢 嘿 库尔特·马克曼- 幸会
- Oh, hey. Kurt Buckman. - Good to see you.
- 幸会 - 握得很优雅
- Nice to see you. - Classy handshake.
- 我是尼克·亨德里克斯 - 尼克 幸会
- Nick Hendricks. - Nick, pleasure.
你好 我是黛尔·阿尔布...
Hey, Dale Arb...
握住 我刚刚才学会
Shoot. I just learned it.
你想怎么握就怎么握
We can do it whichever way you want.
- 对吧? - 澄清一点 我们没有种族偏见
- Right? - To be clear, we're not racist.
那很好 能帮上大忙
Well, that's good. We can use that.
伙计们 为何不吃点点心 喝点咖啡呢?
Guys, Why don't we grab the refreshments, coffee?
拿些曲奇吧
Grab some cookies.
咱们上楼吧 谈谈你们的产品
Let's head upstairs. Let's talk about this product.
这是灯芯绒西服么?
Is that corduroy?
进来吧 梦想终会实现
Step inside. Dreams do come true.
你们想喝点小酒吗?
You guys want something to drink?
- 我要一杯 - 当然
- I'll take one. - Sure.
- 算了 现在还很早 - 我们就免了 抱歉
- No. It's very early. - No for us. Sorry.
我就不拐弯抹角了 先生们
I'm gonna cut right to it, gentlemen.
"洗浴好基友" 还算不错
The Shower Buddy: a home run.
汉森先生 我们会更满意的...
Well, Mr. Hanson, we couldn't be happier...
汉森先生是我父亲 叫我雷克斯
Mr. Hanson is my father. It's "Rex."
请坐 请自便 随便坐吧
Please, sit down. Get comfortable. Take a seat.
我想说的是 贵公♥司♥和我们合作
We want you to know that we are a company
绝对不会让你后悔的
you can be very proud to be in business with.
我们的雇员会有健康保险 他们都会...
Our workers are all gonna have health care, they are gonna be...
我特么一点儿都不关心那个
I don't really give a shit about that.
看看这个 这是吉米·亨德里克斯的吉他
Do you see this? This is Jimi Hendrix's actual guitar.
没错 就是着火烧着他手指头的那一个
Yeah. The one he did the fire and fingers thing with.
喜欢这样的酷玩意儿吗?
You like cool shit like this?
- 我们都爱酷玩意儿 - 爱死了
- We love cool shit. - I'm into cool shit.
你们喜欢那种牛逼武士么?
You like fucking samurais?
武士? 当然了
Samurais? Sure.
知道你们喜欢 和我做生意
I knew you did. You get the business with me,
你们会有很多像这样的牛逼收藏的
you're gonna have fucking loads of it.
所以你是提议把我们的产品...
So you are offering to carry our product...
等等 瞧瞧这个
Wait a minute. Check this out.
朗小姐 劳烦你过来一下
Miss Lang, will you come in here a moment?
现在是怎样?
Now what?
天呐
Jesus fucking Christ.
亲爱的 我们费劲脑汁
Sweetheart, we were racking our brains.
啤酒罐到底是用什么做的?