恶老板2（2014）

That's you, Dale.
我的白鲸
My white whale.
哦 好吧 我很感激 真的 我猜那很甜蜜
Oh, okay. Well, I appreciate that. I really do. That's sweet, I guess.
但是 嘿 现在有个办法 我的朋友库尔特喜欢开垦荒田
But, hey, here's an idea. My friend Kurt here loves to plow.
- 而且他一定比我厉害 - 绝对的
- And maybe he could jump in for me... - Absolutely.
我可以补充一下 我有真的活好
I could pinch-plow. I got a real green thumb.
我们都知道这会儿聊上瘾了
We all know this is just the addiction talking.
如果你想要的不止快速解决...
If you're looking for more than a quick fix...
我可以给你提供一样富有含义还持久的东西
I can provide you something that's very meaningful, long-lasting.
什么? 你在说什么?
What? What are you talking about?
我在说我们
I'm talking about us.
- 我们? 我们所有人? - 不
- Us? All of us? - No.
- 那就更好了 - 不
- That's even better. - No.
越多越好 我喜欢这个点子
More the merrier. I love this idea.
你们有很多坚挺的东西
You got a lot of stuff sticking out.
我有很多洞做它们的去处
I got a lot of holes going in.
晚上有一点你们必须要搞清楚
At one point of the night, you'd better make sure that,
就只有一个棍棍在洞洞里
that one is in this one.
- 谢谢 - 那不是我的意思 我误解了
- Thank you. - That's not what I meant. You misunderstood.
我去梳洗一下 你们要做点什么准备吗?
I'm gonna go freshen up. Why don't you guys suck each other off to get ready?
- 我们来吧 - 你在干什么?
Here we go. - What are you doing?
什么? 她让我们上她?
What? She's making us fuck her.
- 我谁都不睡 - 谢谢
- I'm not gonna fuck anyone. - Thank you.
我愿意和她做♥爱♥ 如果她需要的话
I'm willing to make love to her, if that's required.
- 你是认真的吗? - 我可以借用一下这个剃刀吗?
- Are you serious? - Can I borrow this razor?
可以 随便用
Yeah. Go nuts.
有什么要求吗? 捆绑? 旋转?
Any requests? Landing strip? Dinner roll?
随便啦 我们赶时间 谢谢
Whatever's there. We're in a rush. Thanks.
我不想出轨
I don't wanna commit adultery on my wife.
不 如果你是为了救你的家庭就不是出轨好吗
No, it's not adultery if you're doing it to save your family. Okay?
你觉得你在监狱里关三十年
You think Stacy and your girls are gonna wait for you...
史黛西和你的孩子们会等你?
...while you're in prison for 30 years?
他们不会的
They're not.
我们就不能想想办法吗?
Can't we just come up with some kind of plan, though?
哦 好 绝对的 我有办法了 好 我们走
Oh, yes. Absolutely. I got a plan. Okay, here we go. Areas.
我选屁♥股♥ 脸 阴♥道♥
I'll go butt, face, puss.
我不要进阴♥道♥ 这让我最有负罪感脸
I cannot go in the puss. That'll make me the most guilty.
好吧 这样行不行? 屁♥股♥ 脸 阴♥道♥
Good call. How about this? Butt, face, puss.
这才是我该去的地方
That's where I should be.
我们在谈论哪... 这主意不错
I'm talking about a way where... That's good.
如果我们换位置她就会忘了谁在哪
If we're switching positions, she'll lose track of who's where.
- 就像赌博 - 三张牌的赌博
- Like the shell game. - Three-card Monte. Exactly.
我可以埋胸然后打她屁♥股♥
I can motorboat her boobies and then smack on her butt.
只要不是低俗可耻的方式就行
So long as nothing is done in a cheap or degrading way.
- 我们会像菲尔医生一样敏感 - 我不知道我能不能上她
- We'll be as sensitive as Dr. Phil. - I don't know if I can fuck this woman.
想想你的老婆孩子们
Think about your wife and girls.
想想我的孩子们 我可以做到的
I'll think about my girls. I can get it done.
好了吗?
All right?
- 史黛西 - 哦 不
- Stacy. - Oh, no.
- 你怎么找到我的? - 来这儿多会儿了?
- How did you find me? - Been there a while?
手♥机♥定位
Find My iPhone.
- 我知道你是骗我的 - 不 我不是
- I knew you were cheating on me. - No, I'm not.
- 他不是 我们正准备去蹲监狱 - 监狱?
- He's not. We're trying to stay out of prison. - Prison?
没有人会进监狱的
No one's going to prison.
- 因为我们绑♥架♥了一个人 - 绑♥架♥?
- Because we were gonna kidnap someone. - Kidnapping?
- 不 首先 那个人是绑♥架♥了他自己 - 对
- No. First, the man kidnapped himself. - That's right.
- 他逼我们... - 黛尔 甚至不操♥逼♥
- He forced us... - Dale wouldn't even do puss.
- 我从没想过操♥逼♥ - 我两次都选的屁♥股♥
- I didn't even wanna do the puss. - I chose ass both times.
我说那会让我最有罪恶感
I said puss will make me the most guilty.
你们没在帮我! 闭嘴!
You're not helping me! Shut up!
你看 这事儿太傻♥逼♥了 宝贝儿
Look, this is such a stupid thing, honey.
而且放轻松 这里还没发生过性♥交♥
And easy, and nothing sexual is even happening here.
来吧 黛尔 小妹妹不会把你吃了的
Come on, Dale, this pussy isn't gonna eat itself.
- 朱莉亚? - 史黛西
- Julia? - Stacy.
还有孩子们
And the babies.
看这些孩子们 黛尔 她们和你好像
Look at those babies. Oh, Dale, they look just like you.
- 听着 - 你有病
- Listen to me. - You are sick.
我没病 别这样 可以让我...?
I'm not sick. Please. Can I just...?
别跟着我 别跟着我
Do not follow me. Do not follow me.
你这个小婊♥子♥
You fucking bitch.
对不起 没想到会这样
Sorry. Really didn't mean for that to happen.
好了 朱莉亚 你想性♥交♥吗?
Okay, Julia. You wanna fuck?
是啊
Yeah.
为什么不呢 是吗? 我的婚姻已经结束了 它完全被毁了
Why not, right? My marriage is over. It's basically ruined.
所以我毁了你的阴♥道♥怎么样? 这听起来好吗?
So how about I ruin that pussy? That sound good?
- 不不不 你是负责脸 - 我是阴♥道♥
- No, no, no. You're face. - I'm puss.
- 耶 - 不不不 这都是我的
- Yeah. - No, no, no. This one's all mine.
什么?
What?
- 来吧 我们洗澡的时候来一发 - 太好了
- Let's do it. Let's do it in the shower. - Attaboy.
你想这样吗? 那里潮湿又美好
Is that what you want? Nice and wet in here.
- 我无法拯救我的婚姻了 - 是的 你不能
- I can't save my marriage from prison. - No, you can't.
- 干得漂亮 黛尔 - 开始行动吧
- Great, Dale. - Let's roll.
- 我们失去了联♥系♥ - 靠
- We lost the wire. - Shit.
我们要开辆便车进去吗?
Should we send in an unmarked?
我们不能冒险 我们就守在这
We can't risk it. We'll hold here.
你好 你好吗
Hello. Howdy-do.
- 你走这边 - 停
- You go on this side. - Stop.
嘿
Hey.
这是什么鬼东西?
What the fuck is this?
我不需要和你争辩
I do not need that sass-mouth.
我要的是那袋现金 现在 把它拿过来
What I need is that sack of cash. Now, get it over here.
别把它扔给我 滑过来 再来一次
Don't you throw it at me. You slide it. Do it again.
- 不 就放到这吧 - 检查一下
- No, we'll keep it here. - Check it.
- 我的天 - 看那儿
- Holy shit. - Lookie there.
- 我们做到了 - 真是个好包
- We did it. - There's a pretty bag.
好 好吧 嘿
Okay. All right. Hey.
我还要那个粘在凳子上被你拿走的手♥机♥
I'll also take that phone you took from the bottom of that bench.
什么?
What?
- 手♥机♥ 把手♥机♥给我 - 把手♥机♥给他
- The cell phone. Give me the cell phone. - Throw the phone to him.
现在把你花哨的外套和领带给我
Now that fancy jacket and that snappy tie.
- 脱掉拿过来 - 不要
- Get them off. Get them over. - No.
- 他说"不" - 我认为他是这么说的
- He say "no"? - I think he said no.
但是我们拿到这个了
But we got this.
不要逼我用这个六发式手♥枪♥
Don't make me use this six-shooter.
爷们手里有枪
Man's got a shooter.
你让我感到恶心
You make me sick.
美国的病根就在你这种人身上 每个人都想得到施舍
You're what's wrong with America. Everyone just wants a handout.
拿去吧 拿去吧 从老老实实挣钱的人们身上拿去吧
Take, take, take from the people who earn their money honestly.
好吧 我们现在不聊了 爷们手里真的有枪
All right, let's not chitchat now. The man does have a gun.
你真会说话 但我能一枪毙了你
You got a real lip on you. I will shoot you in the chest.
好吧 来吧 毙了我吧
Well, go ahead. Shoot me.
你压根就没种
You don't have the balls.
他有的 他的种可大着呢
Yeah, he does. He got big old balls.
大嘴巴一个 再没其他能力了
Big mouth. Nothing behind it.
- 伙计 - 我的天啊
- Dude. - Oh, my God.
- 搞毛啊 - 我的天啊
- What the fuck? - Oh, my God.
你做了什么
What did you do?
- 你毙了他 - 我没有
- You shot him. - No, I didn't.
- 你毙了他 - 手♥枪♥不应该是负荷的
- You did. - That was not supposed to be loaded.
- 你什么意思 - 这不是我的错
- What do you mean? - That's not my fault.
- 我的天啊 - 等一下...
- Oh, my God. - Wait, hold...
伙计 你们开始互相谴责的时候
Man. You should've seen your faces right now...
应该看看自己的脸
when you started blaming each other.
怎么了
What's happening right now?
我利用了你们
I'm fucking you over.
不会的 我们是朋友啊
No, no. But we're all friends now.
是啊 但这是多么大的一个转折 不是吗
We are, but what a great twist, right?
我最初想要拿走全部的钱 再栽赃给你们几个
At first I was just gonna take all the money and throw you guys under the bus.
但是我想 得了吧
I mean, come on. Duh.
但是当老爸叫了警♥察♥后 证明他根本不关心我
But then when Dad called the cops and proved he doesn't give a fuck about me...
我才意识到 既然我能继承他的财产