恶老板2（2014）

but this is disgusting.
但这只是水而已
But it just water.
好吧 好吧
Okay. Okay.
那么你被炒了
Then you just fire.
你失业了 对你有点残酷
You lose your job. Too bad for you.
再见
Bye-bye.
看看你自己 我又把你骗了
Look at you. I got you again.
看看这张小笼包一样的脸
Look at that little chubby face.
你觉得我会在你生日这天把你解雇了?
You think I was gonna fire you on your fucking birthday?
你疯了吗 宫城小姐 来 过来
Are you out of your mind, Mrs. Miyagi? Get over here.
你过来 生日快乐
Come here, you. Happy birthday.
我有东西要给你
I got you something.
这可不是地摊货
That's a good one.
绝对的精品 就好比汽车中的凯迪拉克
That's top of the line. That's like the Cadillac of plungers.
但是只能在这儿用 知道吗
That's just for here, though, okay?
- 不能带回家 - 嗯
- No taking it home. - No.
我是 什么事儿 哥们儿
Yeah, what's up, man?
不 我一点都不忙 我正在给我的女佣庆生
Yeah, no, I'm not busy at all. I'm just making my maid's day.
她今天生日
It's her birthday.
嘿 金姆 不过说真的
Hey, Kim, seriously, though.
从今天起能把碗槽擦干吗
Can we keep a dry sink from here on in?
是 雷克斯先生
Yes, Mr. Rex.
接着说
What's up?
不 你丫少来
No, fuck that, man.
金姆
Kim.
伙计 我在想办法
Dude, I'm trying.
我爸现在是只一毛不拔的铁公鸡
My dad is being a total dick about the money.
她在干什么
What's she doing?
- 我勒个去 我靠 - 她在做什么
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - What is she doing?
- 库尔特 库尔特 库尔特 - 什么 什么 什么
- Kurt. Kurt. Kurt. - What? What? What?
我去 那是我的专利啊 她在做我做的事情
Oh, shit. That's my thing. She's doing my thing.
我真♥他♥妈♥不敢相信她在干这事儿
I can't believe she's fucking doing that.
她插得还不够深
She's not going in deep enough.
- 你觉得她是在洗菊花吗? - 显然是个新手
- Do you think she's just cleaning? - What a rookie.
她走了 好吧 好吧
Okay, there she goes. Okay. All right.
泡菜小姐
Kimchi.
- 他来了 - 看到了
- There he is. - Okay.
- 不 他要刷牙了 - 要刷了
- Oh, no. He's gonna brush his teeth. - He is.
- 他要刷了 - 他开始刷了
- He's gonna do it. - Here he goes.
- 刷 - 刷
- Do it. - Do it.
耶 耶 耶 耶 耶 耶 耶
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
你这二♥逼♥ 好好地刷一刷
Yeah, get them nice and clean, you son of a bitch.
真过瘾
So satisfying.
等等 哥儿几个 现在呢我们在做啥
Wait, guys. Okay. Now what, though?
我们现在在做啥
What are we doing? What do we do now?
等他上♥床♥睡觉 黛尔打开气瓶
We wait for him to go to bed. Dale starts the gas.
我把勒索信准备好
I've got the ransom note.
- 不是现在 - 他说了 黛尔打开气瓶
- Not now. - He said, "Dale, start the gas."
我是说了 黛尔打开气瓶
I said, "Dale starts the gas."
后面在打开 二货 关掉
Later, you idiot. Turn that off.
不能把气体放在这儿
We can't have the gas in here.
我会把这信放在
Okay. I'll put this on the...
- 关掉 - 我在关 这坏了还是怎么了
- Turn it off. - I'm trying to. It's broken or something.
你开玩笑吧 把它扳到另一边
Are you kidding me? Turn it the other way.
我关了一百万次
We dropped it like a million times.
我觉得我们把它弄坏了 看见了吗
I think we broke it. No, see?
- 一点都不起作用了 - 我们快出去
- It's not doing anything. - Let's get out.
从这里出去? 你在说些什么! 他就在外面
Get outa here? What are you talking about? He's right outside.
我去 - 他就在外面
Shit. - He's out there.
快把这罐子拿出去
Then get the can out of here.
老兄
Dude.
别笑了 这有什么好笑的?
Don't start laughing. What is funny about this?
看看你的脸 快看看他的脸
Look at your face. Look at his face.
- 不好 - 老兄 你的脸...
- Oh, no. - Dude, your face...
是笑气 你们笑是不是因为笑气?
The gas. Is this the gas?
不 不 不 不 不
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
听着 我们得振作起来
Hey. Listen. Keep it together.
是的 就是因为笑气
Yes, it's the gas.
- 这感觉真好 - 你才要振作呢
- It's pretty good. - You keep it together.
我想打的是他
I was trying to hit him.
- 你们两个 - 他要倒了
- Guys. - No, no, no.
好了 我没事 我没事 我们应该...
Okay. I'm good. I'm good. Let's...
糟糕 库尔特 库尔特 你的手♥机♥
Shit. Kurt. Kurt, your phone.
你的手♥机♥响了 快接电♥话♥
Your phone. Answer your phone.
- 好的 好的 - 我们在哪儿呢?
- I got it. I got it. I got it. - Where are we?
- 快把你的手♥机♥关掉 - 为什么你老婆打我电♥话♥?
- Shut it off. - Why is your wife calling me?
我的天啊 我昨天晚上没回家 她大概吓坏了
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. She's probably freaking out. I didn't come home last night.
安静一点
Quiet.
老兄 把你的头从我的裤裆移开
Dude, get your fucking head out of my crotch.
你们看看这白天的景致!
Will you look at this fucking view during the daytime?
这一定是在开玩笑!
You kidding me?
- 他好像走了 - 难以置信
- He seems gone. - Unbelievable.
-床已经铺好了 - 我完全无法相信这一切
- Bed's made. - I can't believe this.
我们应该确认一下他...
We should maybe just check...
- 雷克斯! - 嘿
- Hey! Rex! - Hey.
雷克斯! 雷克斯!
Rex! Rex!
黛尔
Dale.
要是他还在家怎么办?
Did you have a plan if he responded?
我没想那么长远
I didn't think that far ahead.
要是我的话就不会回应
I would've just been quiet.
就是啊
Yeah.
我发现早上的你更笨
You get even dumber in the mornings.
- 你在担心什么? - 我们快走吧
- What are you worried about? - Let's go.
- 他有一半的几率在家 - 对啊
- Fifty-fifty chance, you know, fifty-fifty chance he was here. - Yeah.
我回去之后史黛西肯定气翻了
You know, Stacy's just gonna completely flip out when I get home.
她肯定会说: "什么样的爸爸是不回家的? "
What kind of dad doesn't come home?
你给我闭嘴 求你了
Shut that down. Okay?
如果现在最坏的结果
If the worst thing that happens
只是你的家庭问题...
from this clusterfuck is your domestic problems...
那我们还算走运的 我们刚刚逃过一劫
we can consider ourselves lucky. We just dodged a huge bullet back there.
我们差点做了一个一生中最傻的决定
We almost made the worst decision of our lives.
那倒是真的 你知道为什么吗?
That's true. You know why?
如果他打开了衣橱然后看到了我们
Cause if he opens that closet door and sees us,
我们现在就在监狱里了
we're in prison right now.
是是是 所以我们非常 非常地幸运
That's right. So we're very, very lucky.
我们之前是不是脑抽了?
What the fuck is the matter with us?
我告诉你们
You know what? I tell you what.
要是有一丁点事情是按我们计划发展的 我们肯定就成功了
If a couple tiny things went our way, we could've pulled that off.
不 我们不是罪犯 我们一点都不会犯罪
No. We're not criminals. We suck at crime.
我们都是善良的正常人
We're like nice, normal guys.
- 我喜欢棒球 我每天都穿裤子 - 是
- I like baseball. I wear pants. - Yup.
- 我们又得回去替人打工 - 辛勤工作啊 兄弟
- Back to being cogs in the machine. - Cogs. Cogs, dude.
辛勤工作也没什么不好
Cogs are good.
我反倒觉得轻松一些了
It's a relief, you know?
就像很重的东西...
It's like a weight lifted off your...
是啊 从肩上卸下来
That's right, my shoulder.
我们要重新开始...
It's a fresh start where everything's...
我过会儿打电♥话♥给你们
I'll call you guys later.
- 求你们别杀我 - 我去!
- Please don't kill me. - Fuck!
- 我勒个去 - 这是怎么回事?
- Oh, fuck. - What the fuck is that?
怎么会这样? 我们都做了什么?
What the fuck is that? What did we do?
难道我们吸足了笑气还能把他绑♥架♥了?
We kidnapped him while we're high on nitrous?
然后还能自己回到衣橱里睡觉?
Then what? We just went back into the closet and went to sleep?
- 我们为什么要这么做? - 嘘 嘘 - 怎么了?
- Why would we do that? - Shh... shh... shh - What?
他是在哭吗?
Is he crying?
噢 我的天哪 太好笑了
Oh, my God. The best.
真是太好笑了
That was so good.
快把我拉出来
Help me out.
你们的表情... 看看你们的表情
The look on your... Look at this.
我实在忍♥不住了... 你们吓傻了吧
I really couldn't... Your fucking face.
- 我的天 - 嗨