威尔和格蕾丝

Will & Grace S11E02

Part 3 Nov. 19, 2019, 3:20 p.m.

I thought we were getting a boat.
我没看到啊船在哪
I see no boat. Where's the boat?
好了很不错
Okay, this is good.
我们来一对一练习
Let's play a little one-on-one.
现在我来扮老爸你是我的直男儿子
Okay, so, I'll be me and you be my straight son.
那行
Okay, great.
我们先从传球开始练
Let's start by passing the ball back and forth,
但首先请容我先进入下角色好吗
but first, allow me to build my character, okay?
我是个直男觉得自己的基佬父亲很丢人
I'm a straight teen who's embarrassed by his queer dad.
然后...
And...
进入角色了
found him.
快点基老爹
Hurry up, gay dad.
我等着回家上网飞看亚当·桑德勒的电影
I wanna go home and watch an Adam Sandler movie
陪我女朋友一起看我背着她出轨了
on Netflix with my girlfriend who I cheat on.
很好很好准备好了吗
Perfect, perfect. Okay, ready?
大力点
Throw harder.
你何不假装这是你受不了的东西呢
Why don't you pretend it's something you can't stand,
比如奶♥子♥
like a boob?
我要怎么把奶♥子♥扔给你也没理由啊
How would I pass you a boob, a-and why?
快扔啊逊毙了
Pass it! Lame.
我为什么偏偏有个基佬爸爸啊
Ugh, why did I have to have a gay dad?
戈多就有个爱运动又酗酒的好爸爸
Gordo's dad likes sports and has a drinking problem,
我却摊上你
and I'm stuck with you.
我不想继续了
I don't like this anymore.
-扔过来就是了 -杰克
- Just pass me the ball. - Jack.
快啊威尔
Come on, Will.
你就这点能耐
Is that the best you can do?
你太丢人了
You are embarrassing!
太对不起了你还好吗
I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
手指感觉有点怪怪的
My finger feels a little funny.
这不对劲啊
That's not right.
杰克
Jack!
快起来
Come on, buddy.
发生什么了
What happened?
对哦
Oh, right.
起来
Here we go.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
有那么一瞬间我还以为...
For a minute there, I thought...
有一个好消息一个坏消息
I have some good news and some bad news.
坏消息是这里无船可送
The bad news is, there is no boat.
好消息是
The good news is,
你们中有两人不是格蕾丝的化石宝宝的生父
two of you aren't the father of Grace's fossil baby.
不是我我从未和这女人上过床
But it's not me. I never sleep with this woman.
-不你上过 -我不记得了
- Yes, you did. - But I don't remember.
你在出租车上撩了我
You picked me up in your cab,
你带我回了你家
and you took me back to your place.
第二天早上我们吃了冷披萨
The next morning, we ate cold pizza
欣赏特雷维喷泉上空的日出
and watched the sunrise over the Trevi Fountain.
那还挺美好多的
It was kind of wonderful.
你说是就是吧
If you say so.
我记得你你改变了我的人生
I remember you, changed my life.
瞧吧这才像话嘛
See? That's more like it.
跟你在一起让我意识到我不喜欢女人
Being with you, I realize I don't like the women.
我喜欢的是男人
I like the men.
恭喜啊格蕾丝
Congratulations, Gracie.
你又把一个男人变成基佬了
You turned another one gay.
你不可能把别人活活变成基佬
You can't turn people gay.
我是不能但你可以
I can't, but you can.
好了先生们到了揭开真♥相♥的时候了
All right, gentlemen, moment of truth.
来采集点DNA样本吧
Let's get some DNA samples.
张嘴
Open up.
谢谢
Thank you.
到你了
You're next.
等等我先取出矫牙保持器
Wait, let me take out my retainer.
我的天呐
Oh, my God.
好了
There we go.
行了到你了
All right, and now you.
天呐我的小指头
Oh, my God, my pinkie.
这可是我端茶喝的手啊
And this is my tea hand.
杰克我真的很对不起
Jack, I'm so, so sorry.
他们要把我的手指截掉吗
Are they gonna cut it off?
我要脱掉裤子吗
Should I take off my pants?
我需要穿长袍
I need a gown!
配中筒低跟靴
Something mid-calf and low heel.
杰克好了好了
Okay, Jack, Jack, Jack.
听我说不会有事的
Listen to me. It's gonna be all right, okay?
我向你保证
Okay, I promise you.
你看我从走廊的小车上偷的
Look, I stole this from a cart in the hall.
-你能帮我插下吸管吗 -当然可以
- Can you do the straw? - Of course I can.
我真不敢相信
I can't believe
只是跟你假装一下我就那么生气深受其辱
I got so upset and humiliated just pretending with you.
我要当爹肯定会是个灾难
I'm gonna be a disaster as a dad.
-你拿了两盒吗 -那是当然啦
- Did you grab two? - Of course I did, buddy.
那个医生去哪儿了
Where is that doctor?
听着我知道你担心
Look, I know you're worried
你儿子会觉得你丢人
that your son is gonna be embarrassed of you,
但情况是这样
but here's the thing,
他绝对会觉得你丢人的
he absolutely will be.
无论直弯无论男孩女孩
Gay, straight, boy, or girl,
每个孩子都会觉得自己的父母丢人
every kid is embarrassed of their parents.
至少你想跟你的孩子形成亲密的父子关系
At least you wanna bond with your kid.
你知道光是这一点你就领先别的父母多少了吗
You know how far ahead of the game that puts you?
你♥爸♥对你喜爱的事表现出过一点兴趣吗
Has your dad ever shown an interest in anything you loved,
比如剧院或是...
like the theater or...
擦干碗碟
drying dishes?
你只需要出现在孩子身边就行
All you can do is show up,
你在孩子出生前就已经出现了
and you've already shown up before your kid is even born.
-谢谢你杰克 -不客气
- Thanks, Jack. - You're welcome.
我不想冒犯人但我们怎么知道
I don't wanna be rude, but how do we know
她只跟我们三个男人睡过
that we're the only three guys that she did?
没错
That's true.
她似乎时刻都在勾搭男人如妓♥女♥般放荡
It seemed like her "For hire" sign is light up all the time.
她可能睡了二三十个男人
It could be ten, twenty, thirty guys.
什么你们怎么敢这样说话
What? How dare you?
有可能是孩子父亲的只会是你们三个
You are the only three who could possibly be the father.
-我没做输精管结扎手术 -要再加一个了
- I didn't have a vasectomy. - And there was one more.
我当时慌了
I panicked.
格蕾丝真的很抱歉
Grace, I'm so sorry,
但我现在准备好做正确的事了
but I'm prepared to do the right thing.
我愿意放弃我所有的希望和梦想
I will give up all my hopes and dreams.
我愿意放弃真实的自我
I will swallow the very essence of who I am,
我愿意娶你
and I will marry you
我会帮你一起养育这个孩子
and I will help raise this baby.
你这算求婚还是自杀遗书
Was that a proposal or a suicide note?
能两者都算吗
Can it be both?
抱歉我的笑话总是不好笑
Sorry, it's that jokes thing again.
格蕾丝对不起
Grace, I'm sorry,
我很抱歉我对你撒谎了
and I-I'm so sorry that I lied to you.
关于你们家盛产连环杀手和左撇子也是谎言吗
Did you also lie about the mass murderers and the left-handedness?
那是最糟糕的在意大利我们的叫法是...
Oh, it's the worst. In Italy, we say...
「左利手」
Sinistrorso
这些人是谁啊
Who are these guys?
这些是格蕾丝在欧洲睡过的其他男人
Oh, these are the other men that Grace slept with in Europe.
什么
What?
谢谢配合
Oh, thanks.
抱歉我之前对手指的事小题大做
Sorry I was being so dramatic about my finger.
或许根本不需要像我那样哭个不停
Probably didn't need to cry as much as I did.
你在开玩笑吗
Are you kidding?
你想怎么哭就怎么哭那很吓人
You cry as much as you want. It was scary.
我就吓到了
I was scared.
我要去找那个医生