威尔和格蕾丝

Will & Grace S11E03

Part 3 Nov. 19, 2019, 3:20 p.m.

I don't want hair horns.
什么
What?
看来只剩你跟我了凯伦
Looks like it's just you and me, Karen.
手...天呐你简直是"波涛胸涌"
Mano y... man, is your rack spectacular.
最后一张牌
Last card.
下注吧沃克
Make your bet, Walker.
好啊沃克
All right, Walker.
我要把这个全押下去
I am all in with this.
掏错口袋了
That's--wrong pocket.
天呐差点就搞出大灾难了
Wow. That was almost a disaster.
我把这个全押下去
I am all in with this.
我家房♥子的房♥产契约
The deed to my house.
你要下的赌注不过是跟我约会一次而已
And all you have to wager to bet is one date with me.
如果你想要的是这个
Well, if that's what you're after,
那我不得不要求你增加赌注了
then I'm going to have to ask you to sweeten the pot.
我要另一个口袋里的东西
I want what's in the other pocket.
恕我做不到
I can't do that.
这是一直职业棒球队的控股权
This is a controlling interest in a professional baseball franchise.
我不能把这个赌输掉
I can't just gamble this away.
看来你并非真的想赢得跟我约会的机会
Then I guess you don't really want a chance to win a date with me.
好吧
Fine.
都是J和A
Jacks and aces.
丹利就像我在跟你哥初次约会时对他说的那样
Well, Danley, it's like I said to your brother on our first date:
"其实我这人还有很多方面
"There's a whole lot more to me
远不止是面前的这一对大奶♥子♥"[一对牌]than just the great pair I'm showing."
三条一对三张Q一对10
Full house, queens over tens.
该死的
Damn!
杰克我们不能再纠结我们的外形了
Jack, we have got to stop beating ourselves up about our looks.
我们应该互相支持
We should support each other.
实际上我们应该都...
In fact, we should both...
不还是算了吧
No, forget it.
什么
What?
你本来打算说什么的我们应该都什么
What were you gonna say? We should both what?
不我只是...
No, I just--
我不希望以后再担心脱发的事了
I don't wanna worry about losing the rest of my hair anymore.
所以我决定剃光头
So I have decided to shave my head,
彻底斩断一切
make a clean break.
反正我的长相又不像更年期的拉拉
You know, I just don't have the face of a menopausal lesbian.
你觉得我像吗
And you think I do?
不如果你剃光头
No, no, if you shaved your head,
你看上去更加像是蘸了油的脚趾头
you'd look more like-like a big toe dipped in oil.
我秃头看着也会很帅的
I would look fantastic bald.
杰克我绝不允许你剃光头
Jack, I will not let you shave your head,
我也绝不同意跟你比赛
and I will certainly not agree to a competition
看我们两个谁剃光头更美
to see which one of us looks better bald.
既然是我提起来的我坚持这么做
Well, since I brought it up, I insist!
比赛就这么定了
A competition it is!
你休想阻止我
And you can't stop me!
很高兴跟你赌牌
It's been a pleasure,
我很乐意将来邀请你去球队持有人包厢坐坐
and I'd love to welcome you someday into the owner's box,
等我接管...
when I take over...
布拉兹维尔石磨队
the Blattsville Millstones?
我之前说"职业棒球队"是没有说清楚吗
Was I not clear that when I said, "Professional baseball franchise,"
我指的是
I meant,
"来自一个落后城镇的球技很烂的独♥立♥小职棒球队
"Bumbling independent minor league team from a backwater town
每年损失数百万美元"
that loses millions every year"?
我真的很抱歉哦
I'm so sorry.
你办这个牌局
You threw the game
就为了把这个逢赛必输的球队甩给我吗
just so you could stick me with this loser team?
为什么
Why?
你和斯坦相识的那晚是我先看到你的
The night you and Stan met, I saw you first,
我极度希望能够拥有你
and I wanted you more than anything.
但你们两个一相识
But the minute you two met,
就好像你看不到我的存在一样
it was like you couldn't even see me.
如果你当时站在他身后
If you were standing behind him,
没人能看得到你
no one could see you!
我对你的爱变成了套在我脖子上的枷锁
My love for you has been an albatross around my neck,
现在石磨队归你了
and now you've got the Millstones,
他们将会把你羞辱至死
and they are going to humiliate you.
没人可以羞辱凯伦·沃克
No one humiliates Karen Walker
除非有我的允许和安全词[性♥虐♥]without my permission and a safe word!
拜蒂莫夫人所赐
Thanks to Mrs. Timmer,
我不得不一路走到熟食店去拿我的三明治
I had to walk all the way to the deli to pick up my sandwich.
-三明治呢 -我吃掉了
- Where is it? - I ate it.
我的那份呢
Where's mine?
你应该点一些我不喜欢吃的食物
You should order things I don't like.
你何不站起来反抗她呢
Why don't you just stand up to her?
我做不到我也不知道是怎么回事
I can't. I don't know what it is.
她身上有某种特质
There's just something about her.
她会激起我内心的负面情绪
She just brings up all this stuff,
比如愤怒刻薄评判
just anger and judgment.
我跟一个基佬一起住
I mean, isn't it enough that I live with a gay guy
我妈又在梦里羞辱我这折磨还不够吗
and my mother insults me in my dreams?
快看下你的手♥机♥
Check your phone.
我们的基因检测结果出来了
Our DNA results are ready.
结果是...哈哈哈哈
And... ha-ha, ha-ha!
我并没有携带早秃基因
I do not have the premature baldness gene.
让我看看好吧看着还不错
Here we go. Okay, looks good.
看着还不错
Looks good.
对乳酪过敏
Allergy to cheese?
根本没这回事不可能啊
That's not a thing. No.
痴呆
Dementia?
说实话我还挺期待忘记一些事的
You know what? I'm looking forward to forgetting stuff.
威尔快看
Will, look.
这根本说不通啊
That doesn't even make sense.
完全能说得通
That makes perfect sense.
体育综合馆
听好了石磨队的球员们
Listen up, Millstones.
我知道你们是棒球界最大的笑话
I know you're the biggest joke in all of baseball,
但这一点将会改变
but that's going to change.
因为除非我们是在谈论脑细胞
Because unless we're talking brain cells
或是三个可插入之地的贞操
or all three kinds of virginity,
否则我不想失去[输掉]I don't like to lose.
等到这赛季结束时
So, by the end of this season,
你们要撞跑[肇事逃逸] "射"门发球[伺候]you are going to hit and run and shoot and serve
灌篮滑冰...
and dunk and skate...
要比其他玩棒球的人都要出色
Better than any of the other baseball people,
否则我就不叫凯伦·沃克
or my name isn't Karen Walker.
我们能穿上衣服了吗沃克夫人
Can we get dressed now, Mrs. Walker?
绝对不行
Absolutely not, no.
好了
Okay.
揭露真容的时刻到了
The big reveal.
你敢保证等你看到
Do you promise not to completely fall apart
你比我丑多少时不会精神崩溃吗
when you see how much worse you look than me?
我会尽力控制的
I will do my best.
数到三
Count of three.
数到三
Count of three.
-1 -2
- One, - two,
three.
你看上去丑爆了
You look terrible!
不要啊真的吗
Oh, no. I do?
等等这样会好些吗
Oh, wait. Is this better?
这是为了报复你20年来嘲笑我秃
This is for 20 years of bald jokes.
-你耍了我 -是的没错
- You tricked me. - Yes, I did.
-头发长成牛角不是真的 -没错的确不是
- Hair horns aren't real. - No, they're not.
如果你是来抱怨...
If you're here to complain about the--
我们是表亲
We're cousins!
你是我妈妈的第二代表亲隔一辈的
You are my mother's second cousin, once removed.
所以我才会那么害怕反抗你
That's why I'm so scared to stand up to you.
所以我们才受不了彼此
That's why we can't stand each other.
我们是家人
We're family.
在我的梦里我妈妈并不是想告诉我
In my dream, my mom wasn't telling me
我需要一个男人来帮我养大这个孩子
that I needed a man to help me have this baby.
她想说的是我需要一个母亲