威尔和格蕾丝

Will & Grace S11E13

Part 3 April 27, 2020, 9:29 a.m.

谢谢你可可可惜太迟了
Thanks, Coco, but it's too late.
那篇文章会把我搞死的
That article's gonna bury me.
纽约的每个基佬都会看到那篇报道
Every gay guy in New York City is gonna read that story
然后转发时还配一个恶毒的动图
and then retweet it with a mean GIF
就是碧昂斯头发被风扇缠到的那个
of Beyoncé's hair getting caught in a fan.
那又怎样
So?
你可以给那个记者再创造一篇报道素材
You give that reporter another story to tell,
因为我们基佬虽然爱看同类的笑话
because if there's one thing our people like better
但更喜欢的莫过于
than watching one of our own stumble,
在那人开启第二春时为他鼓掌欢呼
it's cheering when they get back up for a glorious second act.
瞧瞧《朱迪》里的蕾妮
Look at Renée in "Judy."
天呐你说得太对了
Oh, my God. You're right.
你太对了可可
You're right, Coco.
我这就去联♥系♥那个记者让他重新报道
I'm gonna call that reporter and give him a new story,
因为苍天在上
because, God as my witness,
我要以蕾妮·齐薇格为榜样
I will Zellweger this so hard,
我的开业盛典一定声势震天
my opening will be huge!
这回又很好笑了接着笑
And that's funny again. Go ahead.
我们为什么要进来
Why did we come inside?
这跟恐怖电影里演的一模一样
This is just like every horror movie.
一开始邀请你进门然后让你放松警惕接着
First they invite you in, make you feel at home, and then...
怎么你觉得他会帮你打飞机吗
What, you think he's gonna give you a handy?
是捅这是捅的动作
Stabbing! This is stabbing.
那我就是因为被"捅"得多才受欢迎的
Then stabbing is how I got popular.
我只是想说
All I'm saying is,
在知道凯伦是否安全之前我们要谨慎行事
until we know Karen is safe, we gotta be careful.
-格蕾丝你在做什么 -我饿了
- Grace, what are you doing? - I'm hungry.
开了六个小时的车啊
The drive up took six hours.
万一这炖的是凯伦的肉呢
What if the stew is Karen?
不管怎样都已经炖好了啊
I mean, it's already made.
把勺子放下快把勺子放下
Put the spoon down. Put the spoon down.
窃窃私语停不下来啊
Lotta whispering going on.
希望你们是在讨论要送我什么结婚礼物
Hope you're talking about my wedding gift.
送碎木机我也没意见
Wouldn't say no to a wood chipper.
我们刚才其实是在说我们很激动
Um, actually, we were just saying how exciting it is
你和凯伦已经结婚了
that you and Karen got married.
结得真是快啊
It happened so fast.
是啊她没把你肚子搞大吧
Yeah, she didn't knock you up, did she?
得了吧二位
Come on, you guys.
你们不会觉得我们其中一个
I mean, you don't think one of us
把另一个困在婚姻里了吧
trapped the other in marriage, do you?
-完全没有 -天呐怎么会
- Not at all. - Oh, God, no.
因为我和凯伦是真心相爱
Because Karen and I are in love.
-是真爱我看出来了 -确实非常美好
- True love. I see it. - Really, a beautiful thing.
再说了男人不可能怀孕啊
Not to mention, men can't get pregnant.
我们有办法让怀孕终止
We have ways to shut that down with our body.
你提到这个还真有趣
That's funny you mention that,
毕竟我已经怀孕了
considering I am pregnant.
不确定你记不记得
Not sure if you remembered
我身体里还有一个宝贵的生命
I'm carrying precious life inside me.
是啊我也是
Yeah, ooh. Me too.
我是说我找了代♥孕♥妈♥妈♥
I mean, w--with a surrogate.
是没错但他没怀着孩子啊
Yeah, but he's not carrying the baby.
是没有但我是孩子的父亲
No, but I am the baby's father.
-你不是非得活着孩子才能... -行了够了
- You don't need to be here-- - Yeah, okay.
我就想活着等待孩子的降临
I want to be here for it.
但如果你突然死掉了
But if you died suddenly,
那也不会是最糟糕的事
it wouldn't be the worst thing.
格蕾丝
Grace!
割到自己了
Cut myself.
出血了我好讨厌
Oh, blood. Ah, I hate it.
-我好讨厌看到血 -你不是外科医生吗
- I hate looking at blood. - Aren't you a surgeon?
我讨厌看到我自己的血
Well, my own blood.
别人的血我完全没问题
Other people's blood, I have no problem with.
我去找个创可贴
I'm gonna get a bandage.
我要吐了
I'm gonna puke.
好吧这家伙让我感觉很不妙
Okay, I got a bad feeling about this guy.
不然呢凯伦去哪儿了
You think? Where is Karen?
我完全不信
I don't believe for a second
她去森林里散步了
that she went for a walk in the woods.
你呢
Do you?
凯伦是绝对不会亲近大自然的
Karen wouldn't be caught dead in nature.
她要是去森林里那么唯一的原因
The only reason she'd go to the woods
就是为了引诱孩子
is to lure children
去她的糖果屋
to her house made of candy.
喂你们两个
Psst, you guys.
弗莱蒂你去哪儿了
Friday, where did you go?
我在谋杀犯旁边会惊慌失措
Oh, I kinda freak out around murderers.
我知道你肯定觉得
I know, you'd think
在经历了我前两个室友的遭遇后
after what happened to my first two roommates,
我已经不会再慌了
I'd be over it,
但是看来并没有
but...guess not.
不如你赶快回到车上去
Why don't you go back to the car
看看有没有信♥号♥♥吧
and see if you can get a signal?
好吧但外面真的超级冷
Okay, but it's super cold out,
我刚刚绝对听到了猛兽的声音
and I definitely just heard a big animal.
我觉得可能是头熊
I think it might've been a bear.
好吧把你自己变大或者...
Okay, well, make yourself big, or--
或者缩小或者...
or make yourself small, or--
你会想到办法的
you'll figure something out.
刚刚好险啊
That was close.
在医疗专业我们称之为「三♥期♥小伤伤」
In the medical profession, we call that a stage-three boo-boo.
够了菲尔
Okay, Phil.
凯伦在哪里
Where's Karen?
我跟你说过了她去散步了
I told you. She's taking a walk.
你为什么要再问一次
Why would you ask twice?
除非你也想出去散步
Unless you wanna take a walk.
你想出去散步吗威尔
Would you like to take a walk, Will?
我今天走的步数已经够了
I--I already got my steps in today.
-再说他已经太瘦了 -是啊
- Plus, he's already too skinny. - Yeah.
他的很多毛衣都是女款中号♥的
A lot of his sweaters are women's medium.
你是有什么毛病啊
What is the matter with you?
那你呢格蕾丝
How about you, Grace?
我可以带你出去
I'll take you out
在湖上划独木舟
in a canoe on the lake.
我并不是很喜欢独木舟或者水
I'm not really a fan of the canoe. Or water.
我在健身房♥都喝无糖款的胡椒博士饮料
At the gym, I drink Diet Dr. Pepper.
是吗
Oh, is that right?
好吧是常规款的胡椒博士饮料
Okay, regular Dr. Pepper.
并且她根本不去健身房♥的
And she doesn't go to the gym.
我的确不去
I don't.
格蕾丝拜托稍微玩下又不会要你的命
Grace, come on. A little fun won't kill you.
是吗
Yeah?
你也休想要她的命
And neither will you!
该死的除了扫帚什么都行啊
Damn it. Anything but the broom.
你们在干什么
What are you doing?
我们知道你在撒谎菲尔
We know that you're lying, Phil!
关于你是医生以及你钱包里的那些信♥用♥卡♥
About being a doctor, about the credit cards in your wallet--
诺拉·奈斯巴姆
Nora Nessbaum!
没错凯伦去哪儿了
Yeah. Where's Karen?
你立刻告诉我们真♥相♥
And you tell us the truth,
否则我们就...
or we will do...
实施我们策划了很久
something that we have planned out
且练习过很多次的行动
and practiced a lot of times!
我追这两只动物追了45分钟
I had to track Mopsy and Flopsy for 45 minutes...
但我们有肉吃了
But we're eatin' meat.
威尔你怎么会在这里
Will, what are you doing here?
你是骑着那匹斑马过来的吗
And did you ride here on that zebra?
我以为我已经说得很清楚了
I thought I'd made myself clear.
你们要么支持我要么就滚出我的生活
You support me or you stay out of my life.