威尔和格蕾丝

Will & Grace S11E12

Part 1 April 27, 2020, 9:29 a.m.

《威尔和格蕾丝》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的
"Will & Grace" Is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
凯伦邀请了她的新男友来吃早午餐
So Karen invited her new boyfriend over for brunch.
那倒像是人类才会做的事
That's, like, something a person would do.
是啊异常地有人性
I know, it's strangely human...
就像黑猩猩抽烟一样
like when a chimp smokes a cigarette.
菲尔要上来了
Phil's on his way up.
格蕾丝领带打好威尔裙子换了
Grace, fix your tie. Will, change your dress.
老天感受下我的心跳一分钟跳了无数次
Good Lord, feel my heart. It's beating a mile a minute.
终于感觉到跳了一下
Okay, there's one.
我从没见过你对一个男人这么激动过
I have never seen you so excited about a guy.
我终于遇见了一个我喜欢的人
Well, I finally met someone I really like.
你不知道现在情场上有多难混
You have no idea how hard it is out there.
优质的好男人都被起诉了
All the good ones have been indicted.
跟我们说说菲尔
So, tell us about Phil.
魅力十足温柔
Charming, sweet,
还有一根傲人的屌♥
and he has a remarkable penis.
就像是一台油井钻机
It's like an oil rig
一直往里钻遇山开洞遇水劈水
drilling until it devastates everything in its path.
我是说他做什么工作的
I--I just meant what does he do?
他来了
He's here.
威尔涂点口红格蕾丝别矫揉造作了
Will, put on some lipstick. Grace, stop mincing.
嘿宝贝
Hey, babe.
他叫我宝贝
He calls me babe.
嗨宝贝我也叫他宝贝
Hi, babe. I call him babe.
威尔格蕾丝这是菲尔·约翰逊医生
Will, Grace, meet Dr. Phil Johnson.
你们觉得如何
Ooh, what do you think?
你得给他们点时间
You gotta give 'em a chance.
我还没有拿出最佳状态呢
I haven't even turned on my A game.
威尔这是送你的
Will, this is for you.
凯伦跟我说你是一个雄壮无畏复杂的男人
Karen told me you're a big, bold, complex guy,
就像这瓶赤霞珠酒
like this cabernet.
别忘了说"果香味浓"[基佬] 以及"会让人头疼"
Don't forget fruity and gives you a headache.
格蕾丝
And Grace,
这花如你一样漂亮精美
here's something beautiful and delicate like yourself.
别忘了说"稍显枯萎"和"被蜜蜂围绕"
Don't forget slightly wilted and covered in bees.
欢迎这真是...
Welcome, it's so--
打住离远点绝望的老熟♥女♥ 他名草有主了
Okay, back off desperado. he's taken.
亲爱的一想到可可酒吧要关门了就好难过
Papi, it's so sad to think of Miss Coco's closing.
是啊就像死亡一样
I know, it's like a death.
那可可酒吧之后会怎么样
So what's going to happen to Coco's?
除非有人收买♥♥ 不然就将消失
Unless someone buys it, it goes away.
就像这城里的所有同志酒吧一样
Just like every other gay bar in this city.
鸟洞现在成了维多利亚的秘密
You know, the Manhole is now a Victoria's Secret.
我觉得的确是有些"交叉"的
I imagine there is some crossover.
这些人将要何去何从啊
Where will all these people go?
「淫♥荡♥斯蒂夫」要去哪找自尊心
Where will Slutty Steve get his self-esteem?
「性♥虐♥拉尔夫」以后要怎么办
What will happen to Rough Trade Ralph
或那个「山达基教男」
or Scientology guy?
我们不能让所有同志酒吧都消失
We can't let all the gay bars disappear.
有人得买♥♥下可可酒吧
Someone needs to buy Coco's.
要不你买♥♥吧
Well, why don't you?
我
Me?
不不我是个在职演员
Oh no, no. I am a working actor.
亲爱的你接到工作了吗
Papi, did you get a job?
我
I'm
在找呢
working on it.
不不不我觉得这个主意很棒
No, no, no, no, no. I like this idea, you know?
由家人来接手
Keep it in the family.
不是我真正的家人
Not my actual family.
他们都是佛州贫民窟的垃圾
They're all Florida gutter trash.
愿他们在下次飓风来临时被冲走
May they get washed away in the next hurricane.
他们就该被冲走
They should get washed away!
杰克你应该买♥♥下
Jack, you should buy it.
我不能做一辈子的空乘
I mean, I can't be a flight attendant forever.
到了某个时候那些乘客
At a certain point these passengers,
他们会开始给你脸色
they start giving you this look, like,
"碰到一个老的了"
"Oh, I got a old one."
这太疯狂了
That's crazy.
我上哪去找钱
Where would I even get the money?
贷款啊试试银行
Just get a loan. Try the banks.
泰拉·班克斯[银行]可不会给我钱
Okay, Tyra Banks is not gonna give me money.
她从不回我私信
She's never once returned a DM.
显然我不是做超模的料
Apparently, I'm not "Top Model" Material.
不不亲爱的
Oh, no, no, mi amor.
银行就是那个
The banks, like, this place that has, like,
有一碗棒棒糖的地方
a bowl of lollipops.
你说银行啊
Oh, a bank. Duh.
我不确定哎我做企业主
I don't know. I mean, me, a business owner?
我确实有半框眼镜
I mean, I do have half glasses.
且我这样做的时候有人说我看上去像大人物
And I have been told I look important when I do this.
好吧企业主先生杰克去哪了
Okay, Mr. Business Owner. Where did Mr. Jack go?
我就用了一根铅笔和眼... 我就在这儿
It was just a pencil and gla--I'm right here.
我没走
It's just me.
菲尔喝黑咖啡
Okay, black coffee for Phil.
凯伦我初来乍到你喝什么
Karen, I'm fresh out of blood. What are you drinking?
纯净伏特加再加一点别的伏特加
Straight vodka with just a splash of other vodka.
菲尔你还要点什么吗
Phil, anything else I can get?
还剩一些小油炸馅饼
There's a few mini fritters left.
我真的一口都吃不下了
Oh, I couldn't eat another bite.
言下之意是再给我来两份
And by that, I mean I'll have two.
他是不是超好笑
Oh, isn't he hilarious?
成天都这样全是这种笑话
It's this all day long. Just back and forth like this.
所以你们是怎么认识的
So how'd you guys meet?
说来也是有趣
Oh, it's a funny story.
你是要替我说吗
Are you gonna speak for me?
冒犯到你了吗亲爱的
Oh, I'm sorry, darling.
毕竟格蕾丝是看着我问的
I mean, Grace was looking directly at me.
这都怪我
Oh, completely my mistake.
没关系的谁回答都一样
It's okay, anyone can take it.
你请说吧可以原谅我吗
Go ahead, please. Forgive me?
我原谅你了
Oh, I forgive.
但我不会忘记这事的
But I won't forget.
我们在瑰丽酒店的酒吧认识的
Uh, we met at the bar at the Carlyle.
那时我刚做完一台很复杂的心脏手术
I had just finished a very difficult heart surgery.
你不是妇科医生吗
I thought you were an OB-GYN.
以前是但我现在主攻心脏
I used to be. I do heart surgery now.
那很少见啊你有为此去医学院...
That's unusual. Did you go to med school for...
威尔你是在哪学到这厨艺的
Will, where did you learn to cook like this
还保持着这么好的身材
and stay in such good shape?
难道你一天健身三小时吗
I mean, do you work out three hours a day?
三小时
Three hours?
那就太过了
That would be crazy.
我每天健身两小时外加健康饮食
I do two hours and I eat healthy.
我这人有个很有趣的一点
Here's an interesting thing about me:
我尽量控制饮食
I try to keep my proteins
一顿只吃扑克牌大小的蛋白质
to the size of a deck of cards,
和拳头大的谷物
my grains to the size of a fist,
其他全是绿叶蔬菜
and then I just load up on leafy greens.
听上去真是棒极了
That is fascinating.
真的吗
Is it?
你们的炸饼已经做好了
Your fritters are ready,
这次我不会说任何炸饼的双关语了
and I will refrain from making any fritter puns.
谢天谢地
Thank God.
那你"炸"还不拿过来
Well, why don't you fritter away and get them?
天呐我在和喜剧大王克里斯·洛克谈恋爱吗
Good Lord, am I dating Chris Rock?
好了我们来继续聊
Okay, let's go back
你是怎么从妇产科医生变成心脏科医生的
to how you went from delivering babies to doing heart surgery.
其实是有很多相似之处的
Well, there's actually a lot of crossover.
我是说有时候胎儿是无法
I mean, sometimes babies don't come out
从...小丑的嘴巴里出来的
from the...clown's mouth