威尔和格蕾丝

Will & Grace S11E14

Part 1 April 27, 2020, 9:30 a.m.

《威尔和格蕾丝》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的
"Will & Grace" Is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
我们睡着了
We feel asleep.
天啊我们睡着了格蕾丝格蕾丝
Oh, my God, we fell asleep. Grace, Grace.
关掉关掉
Hit off. Off.
快关掉
Hit the off button.
我不会关
I don't know how to!
我仅剩的几根胸毛也没了
There goes the few chest hairs I had left.
已经灰白了所以不用谢
Well, they were gray, so you're welcome.
快起来珍妮马上就要来了
Comen, Jenny's gonna be here any second.
我希望这里看上去整洁点
I want the place to look nice for her.
-珍妮 -我的代♥孕♥者
- Jenny? - My surrogate.
你能好歹假装下
Can you at least pretend
过去一年里你有在听我说话吗
that you've been listening to me for the last year?
我是在假装啊
I was pretending!
再说我累了
And besides, I'm tired.
格蕾丝我们要做家长了
Grace, we're gonna be parents.
我们得学会
We got to learn how to--
怎么连续保持超过四小时的精力
how to have energy for longer than four hours in a row.
可是可是
But--but...
电视
Tv.
不
No.
我们的孩子会到处跑撞到各种东西
Our kids are gonna be running around, getting into things.
他们迟钝嘀咕不停的朋友会不断涌来
Their dopey, whiny friends will be dropping by at all hours.
我恨我的生活
I hate my life.
又是我妈的生日
Once again, it's my mother's birthday,
我不知道给她买♥♥什么礼物
and I have no idea what to get her.
别装可爱就行
Just don't try and be cute.
我有次跟我妈说我是她的礼物
Once, I told my mom I was her gift.
她问我有没有附带收据
She asked if I came with a receipt.
你觉得这可爱吗
You thought that was cute?
我也不知道也许我妈会喜欢
I don't know-maybe my mom will like this
这个标价过高的咖啡桌或者这个傻兮兮的运酒车
overpriced coffee table or this stupid bar cart
或者那个「福娃操鱼」瓷像
or that Asian baby humping a fish.
他不是在操鱼
He is not humping a fish.
他们是依偎在一起很有爱
They are spooning. It's sweet.
我们现在没空处理其他人的问题
We don't have time for other people's problems right now.
挤出时间我遇到问题了
Make time. I've got a problem.
我的珠宝商
My jeweler--
我可以这么说因为名字里含有"犹太"
and I can say that because "Jew" Is in the name--
跟我说我拿去修改的戒指
has informed me that a ring I was having reset
被不小心送到以前的大宅了
has been delivered by mistake to the manse.
现在我只能过去拿
Now I got to go over there and get it.
杰杰你能陪我去吗
Jackie, will you come with me?
我无法独自面对斯坦颈部一圈圈的赘肉
I can't face Stan's neck rolls by myself.
凯凯我也希望我可以
Kar, I wish I could.
但我得想出
But I have to figure out
给我妈买♥♥什么生日礼物
what to get my mother for her birthday.
我不能直接去你满是珍贵小玩意
I can't just go to your house full of precious doodads
和无价老女人宝贝的家里去拿
and priceless old-lady whatnots there for the taking.
小狮子狗你刚刚是跟我想到一处去了吗
Poodle, did you just get your chocolate in my peanut butter?
好像是的
I think I did.
快来我们得打扫完
Okay, come on, we got to finish cleaning up.
好的
Sounds good.
我去用我的头打扫我的枕头
I'm gonna go clean my pillow with my head.
讲真怀孕完全没有拖累到我
Yeah, the pregnancy really hasn't slowed me down at all.
真的吗
Really?
你没有暴躁不安恶心
You're not cranky and nauseous
一只脚比另一只肿胀很多
and one foot isn't swollen, like, a lot more than the other
让你不得不去借朋友更大号♥的左脚鞋子吗
so you have to borrow a bigger left shoe from a friend?
不从没有
No, never.
好吧我也没有
Yeah, me neither.
好了你们准备好玩游戏了吗
Okay, you guys ready to play some games?
我左脚的鞋怎么这么松
Why is my left shoe so loose?
谢谢你们让我过来住
Thank you guys for letting me stay here.
我不想在他们刷漆的时候待在我的公♥寓♥里
I really didn't want to be at my apartment while they painted it.
那些气体对小孩不好
You know, the fumes could be bad for the baby.
当然当然
Of course, of course.
看看你们
Oh, you guys.
这就像和我爷爷奶奶共度周末一样
This is just like spending the weekend with my grandparents.
真是当头一棒让人清醒
Now, that is sobering.
你觉得我们像你的爷爷奶奶
You think of us like your grandparents?
没有没有
No, no, no, no.
很显然你们比他们年轻多了...
Obviously, you're much younger than...
你们比他们年轻
You're younger than them.
你还需要计算一下吗
You had to count?
好了好了你看
Okay, okay, look,
我知道我们是有点老了
I know that we might be a little on the old side,
但我们还是很酷的
but we are still pretty cool.
我们会玩游戏
We play games.
比如「快艇骰子」「举起手来」
Yahtzee, Heads Up!,
「骰子拼词」
Perquackey.
今晚要嗨到爆了
It's about to get lit.
好吧是这样的
Okay, look,
这周末由我们来照顾好你
this...this weekend we're taking care of you,
你今晚想做些什么呢
so what do you want to do tonight?
我朋友发信息说想去看乐队演出
Well, my friend texted me about seeing a band.
我们喜欢看现场演出
Oh, we love live music.
我们一直在网上看
We listen to it all the time on Google.
我们我们走吧
Let's...let's go.
现在吗已经8点半了
Now? It's...it's 8:30.
-格蕾丝 -不她说得有道理
- Grace? - Oh, no, she's right.
很多地方要再过几个小时才开门营业
Doors won't open for a few more hours.
但...
But...
电视
TV.
你们可以不去的
You guys don't have to go.
我们当然会去你想去我们就想去
Of course we do. You want to go, we want to go.
那好
Cool.
-所以我们要看谁的演出 -一个实验噪音乐队
- So who are we seeing? - An experimental noise band.
真"棒"
Oi, gevalt.
噪音
Noise?
我最爱噪音了
My favorite.
我们该出发了早点去占好位子
We should go, we should go early to get good seats.
没位子坐不过那里有个「冲撞狂舞区」
There's no seats, but there is a mosh pit.
所以我们都得站着
So we'll be standing...
还是在8点半以后
after 8:30?
我得穿你的鞋过去
I'm gonna need your shoe.
我以前的钥匙还管用
My old key still works.
看来一切都未曾改变
Guess nothing's changed.
我都忘了这地方有多高级了凯凯
I forgot how fancy this place is, Kar.
你也知道我是怎么评价这栋宅子的
Well, you know what I always said about the manse--
虽没有家的温暖
it's not home,
但是够土豪
but it's much.
四杯奶昔
Four milkshakes?
斯坦一般只喝三杯的
Stan usually only has three.
而且这杯里面还没有鸡肉
And this one doesn't have chicken in it.
这里还有别人吗
Is someone else here?
是我妈
It's my mom.
怎么了妈
What is it, Mother?
不我才不会送你皮裤当生日礼物
No, I'm not getting you leather pants for your birthday.
你穿上以后就脱不下来了
Because you can't pull them off.
不我是说你的粗腿是真的脱不下来
No, I mean you literally can't pull them off.
你可别指望我会再帮你脱
And don't ask me again to help you.
我不会再上当的
Fool me once.
好了别说了我要挂了
All right, stop talking. I have to go.
我要挂了
I have to go!
我在一家很高级的店里给你买♥♥东西
I'm--I'm at a fancy store shopping for you.
杰杰这杯子上沾了口红
Jackie, this glass has lipstick on it.
斯坦会不会有对象了
Do you think Stan's seeing someone?
让她跟语♥音♥信箱说去吧
I'm sending her to voice mail.
那不可能凯伦有谁能取代你的地位呢
That's impossible, Karen. Who could ever take your place?