威尔和格蕾丝

Will & Grace S11E06

Part 1 Jan. 12, 2020, 3:11 p.m.

《威尔和格蕾丝》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的
"Will & Grace" Is shot before a live studio audience.
好了格蕾丝的水煮荷包蛋两个
Okay, so I got two poached eggs for Grace,
杰克的双面半生煎蛋一个
one over easy for Jack,
凯伦的火腿蛋松饼伏特加配面包
and eggs Benedict for Karen, sub vodka for bread,
番茄汁配其他吃的
and tomato juice for everything else.
谢谢你的血玛丽[血腥玛丽酒]Thanks for the bloody, Mary.
你今天心情很好啊我很好奇是为什么
You're in a good mood. Wonder why that is.
我知道肯定不是因为做♥爱♥或者称体重
I know it's not from having sex or stepping on a scale.
是不是塔吉特百货出了新的洗碗布
Oh, did Target release a new dish scrubber?
他可是刚帮你煎完鸡蛋啊
He literally just made you eggs.
我心情好是因为我终于找到了一个
I am in a good mood 'cause I finally found a woman
子♥宫♥完美的女生
with a perfect uterus.
你这个下流的家伙威尔
You're a dirty dog, Will.
我就知道你会再杀回异性恋世界的
I knew you'd find your way back.
这下你觉得蛋疼了吧红毛女
It's got to be a real kick in the balls for you, Red.
我说的当然是代♥孕♥的事情啦
I'm talking, of course, about a surrogate.
她的名字叫珍妮她过去有这种经历
Her name's Jenny, she's been through the process before,
而且她的女性设备广受好评
and her lady apparatus gets stellar reviews.
设备
Apparatus?
《杰·雷诺的车♥库♥》
是一档关于汽车的电视节目
听起来像杰·雷诺在车♥库♥里造出来的东西
Sounds like Jay Leno built it in his garage.
所以你已经找到捐卵人了
So you have an egg donor,
但另外一个女人要把你的
but this other woman is gonna carry
基佬崽子在肚子里怀上九个月
your gay baby for nine months?
把上帝气哭要花你多少钱
How much is making God cry going to cost you?
这不是钱的问题
It's not about the money.
她只是愿意帮助别人成为父母
She just loves helping people become parents.
三万块
30 grand.
凭什么好工作都是女人的啊
Why do women get all the best jobs?
我得走了
I should go.
我还得去看一下
I still got to figure out
怎么才能去纽堡见她
how I'm gonna get up to Newburgh to meet her.
我都无法构想那个地方在哪里
I can't even picture where that is.
在我的意识里只有纽约
You know, in my mind, it goes New York,
然后是白原市尼曼百货然后就到加拿大了
the Neiman's in White Plains, then Canada.
那还真是巧啊
Oh, that's a coinky-dink.
我要去布拉兹维尔的棒球场
I'm going to the ballpark in Blattsville.
刚好要穿过纽堡
I go right through Newburgh.
再见祝你那什么什么的好运
Well, good luck with whatever your thing is.
凯伦我可以搭你的车吗
Karen, can I get a ride?
我根本不顺路啊不过也行吧
It's really out of my way, but fine.
我对着卡车司机露胸时你来掌方向盘
You can hold the steering wheel while I flash truckers.
你看
Look.
今天有个展会
There's a reunion today
在百老汇或全国巡演中演过安妮的人都能参加
for anyone who played Annie on Broadway or national tours.
什么
What?
-安妮展是在今天吗 -是啊
- Annie-Con is today? - Yeah.
有没有说今天的特邀嘉宾是谁
Does it say who the guest of honor is?
-我... -是莎拉·杰西卡·帕克
- I-I... - Sarah Jessica Parker.
莎拉·杰西卡·帕克啊
It's Sarah Jessica Parker!
《欲望都市》的女主
但是票卖♥♥完了
Oh, but it's sold out.
我小时候超级想演安妮
I wanted to play Annie so badly when I was a kid.
我妈妈当时在
My mom directed a production
斯克内克塔迪女性中心当导演
in the Schenectady Women's Center,
她自己演沃巴克老妈
and she cast herself as Mommy Warbucks.
我投入了全部热情去唱
I sang my little heart out.
但是我亲妈说我不是演安妮的料
And my own mother said I wasn't Annie material.
你可以带我混入安妮展
You can get me into Annie-Con.
怎么做
How?
你可以演安妮四十...
You could've played Annie 40--
想好了再说
Careful.
好几年前的
Several years ago.
等下
One sec.
在开门之前你要知道我手上有刀
Before I open this door, you should know I have a knife...
还有一条狗
and a dog.
狗也拿着一把刀
And the dog has a knife, too.
我是威尔威尔·楚门
Uh, it's Will. Will Truman.
我手上没拿刀觉得有点怪怪的
I feel weird 'cause I don't have a knife.
你好刀这个事我很抱歉
Hey, sorry about the knife thing.
附近治安差大家差不多都是这样打招呼的
It's kind of how we say hello in this neighborhood.
说再见的时候也这样
Well, and good-bye.
你就是珍妮了吧哇
You must be Jenny. Wow.
你我这个...
You, me, this is...
这就是我们
this is us.
是啊
Yeah.
这是大事我们要造人了
It's a big thing. We're gonna make a person.
抱歉我家一团乱
Excuse the mess.
希望你不是那种有洁癖
I hope you're not one of those gay guys
要求一切整洁的男同
that needs everything to be neat.
我当然不是
What, me? No.
我知道我提早到了
Uh, I know I'm-I know I'm early.
送我来的那疯子认为
I got a ride with an insane person who thinks
红绿灯只适用于穷♥人♥
that stoplights are only for the 99%.
那些高速路是靠我拒绝缴纳的税修起来的
The taxes I refuse to pay built those highways.
嗨珍妮
Hi. Jenny.
你好「嗨珍妮」
Well, hello, Hi-Jenny.
我是「嗨凯伦」
I'm Hi-Karen.
我喜欢这位
Oh, I like this one.
稍等我还有点工作没做完
Just a minute. I have to finish up a work thing.
她的子♥宫♥确实不错
Well, she does have a nice uterus.
你怎么来了
What are you doing here?
我得尿尿
I had to tinkle.
你不能去别的地方尿吗
Well, you couldn't do it somewhere else?
我一般在车里尿然后把瓶子交给司机
I usually go in the car and hand it to driver,
但他刚加入了工会现在严格来说算是个人了
but he just joined a union, and now he's technically a person.
天呐
Oh, God.
不不
Oh, no, no.
就洗一个吧点兵点将点到肮脏
Maybe just one. Eenie, meenie, miney, filthy.
好了各位我要下了
Okay, guys, I'm signing off.
麦克我们谈过这事了
Mike, we already talked about this.
我不喜欢搞凶狠那一套
I don't like that aggressive crap.
你们懂规矩的
Guys, you know the rules.
如果你们不规矩就会被我拉黑
If you don't play nice, you're gone.
谢谢芬斯特大哥的打赏
Thanks for the tip, Feenster.
这是什么色♥情♥网♥站♥吗
What is this? Is this a porn site?
不不是色情我是网络女主播
No, it's not porn. I'm a cam girl.
男人给我钱让我挑逗露肉
Guys pay me a little to flirt, show some skin.
"他看上去基味十足" 谁
"He looks super gay." Who?
猜猜怎么着丁丁道尔我就是基味十足
Guess what, DongerDoyle. I am super gay.
奇怪的炫耀不过能理解
Weird flex, but okay.
我的红发老天啊
Oh, my ginger.
想想这屋里有多少患皮肤癌的人
Think how much skin cancer there is in this room right now.
好了你去那边
Okay, okay, go up to that table
拿一个无人认领的名牌
and grab an unclaimed name tag, all right?
我去扫视人群找找... 莎拉
And I'll scan the crowd for--Sarah!
只是个梯子而已
It was just a ladder.
欢迎来到安妮展我是帕姆·蒙茨
Welcome to Annie-Con. I'm Pam Muntz.
我在03年和年09担当过剧务总监
I did two tours as stage manager in '03 and '09,
外加98年转到韩国剧院
plus three months of transitional protocol
工作了三个月
in the South Korean Theater in '98.
谢谢你的服务
Thank you for your service.
我是来拿名牌的
I'm just gonna grab my name tag.
你是雷蒙娜·德莱尼
You're Ramona Delaney?
你是个传奇真不敢相信你会来
You're a legend. I can't believe you showed.
谢谢
Thank you.
跟粉丝见面总是很棒
It's always nice to meet the fans.
我们进去了显然我还是个传奇人物
We are in, and apparently, I'm a legend.
该死杰瑞·苏斯曼也在这儿
Oh, crap. Jerry Sussman is here.
他以前是个阴险恶毒的试唱伴奏者
He used to be a catty audition accompanist,
然后飞黄腾达了现在是个大钢"茎"家
then he made it big, and now he's a big, huge pianist.