威尔和格蕾丝

Will & Grace S11E04

Part 2 Nov. 19, 2019, 3:20 p.m.

They're my fondest memories...
直到他被一记界外球砸死的那天
until the day he was killed by a foul ball.
我永远忘不了他的遗言
I'll never forget his last words.
"我接到了"
"I got it."
亲爱的我从这个故事里明白了
Honey, what I'm getting from this story is...
你♥爸♥不会接球
your dad couldn't catch.
但现在
But right now,
我们在想办法帮助球队获胜
we're trying to find a way to help the team win.
如果能由我决定的话
Well, if it were up to me,
我会换位应对左撇子投手
I'd have a shift against lefties,
把冈萨雷斯交易出去
trade Gonzalez,
再找一个可以控制跑垒的捕手
and get a backstop who can control the running game.
但就算他们输球我也会老泪纵横
But even when they lose, I bleed brown and rust.
几乎算是陌生人的人
Almost stranger,
我真希望你的嘴巴和你的蛋糕房♥一样关闭
I wish your mouth were like your bakery: Closed.
我要去看医生了
I'm heading to the doctor.
告诉我我没什么可担心的
Tell me I have nothing to worry about.
格蕾丝你没什么可担心的
Grace, you have nothing to worry about--
你怎么能这么说
How could you say that?
我都三千岁了
I'm 3,000 years old.
我的宝宝在里面因为吸了尘团而咳嗽
My baby is in there coughing on dust bunnies.
我不停想象蜘蛛网和吱吱嘎嘎的开门声
I keep picturing cobwebs and creaky door sounds.
所以现在的我不仅老
So now I'm not just old,
我还闹鬼
I'm haunted.
不是啦我只是...
I was--no--I was just...
也许你有点失控了
Think maybe you're spinning out of control just a little bit?
绝对没有
Absolutely not.
我把包包放哪了我把钥匙放哪了
Where'd I put my purse? Where'd I put my keys?
亲爱的亲爱的亲爱的
Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie.
包包
Purse.
钥匙
Keys.
听我说最艰难的部分已经完成啦
Look, the hard part's kind of done.
你已经怀孕了
You're already pregnant.
而我呢相比之下
Me, on the other hand,
我还得找到合适的捐卵者
I still gotta find an egg donor,
和一个代♥孕♥妈♥妈♥
and a surrogate to carry the baby.
网购啊那是你最喜欢做的事
Online shopping. Your favorite thing.
记得用信♥用♥卡♥付款就能卵子和里程兼得
Use your credit card. You can get the egg and miles.
你以为这很容易吗
You think this is easy?
我得隔着半个地球取得麦考伊的精♥子♥
I gotta get McCoy's sperm from halfway across the globe
然后送去实验室让人把我的精♥子♥混合进去
so somebody in a lab can mix it with mine
组成世界上最昂贵的"混合精华果汁"
into what is fast turning into the world's most expensive Jamba Juice.
跟你受孕的过程相比并没那么美好
Not exactly as beautiful as your process.
是啊我的受孕过程美得像童话呢
Oh, yeah, mine's a freaking fairy tale.
《美女与三个她睡过的野兽》
"Beauty and the Three Beasts She Slept With."
现在我受到诅咒
And now, I'm cursed
下半辈子都只能穿橡筋裤头的牛仔裤了
to wear elastic-waist jeans the rest of my life.
少装了我见过你穿宽松运动裤去参加葬礼
Please. I've seen you wear sweatpants to a funeral.
你搞得好像你是史上第一个怀孕的女人一样
You're acting as if you're the first woman in history to be pregnant.
我可真抱歉你和你亲爱的未婚夫
I am so sorry that you and your loving fiancé
为挑选你们的「人工设计娃」而挠破了头
are having such a hard time picking out your designer kid.
「人工设计娃」这样说太过分了
"Designer kid"? Wow, that was rude.
格蕾丝这是我的人生
Grace, this is my life,
非常严肃也很有压力
and it's serious and stressful.
对我来说也一样我说的你都没听进去吗
For me, too. Have you even been listening?
我有听而且听起来
Yeah, I have, and it sounds like
你冲我发火是因为我有男友而你没有
you're lashing out at me 'cause I'm the one with the boyfriend.
这跟我单身毫无关系
This has nothing to do with me being single.
我怕得要死
I am terrified,
而我最好的朋友却一直无视我的感受
and my best friend keeps dismissing me
尽管我正在经历
while I'm going through scariest thing
我这辈子最可怕的一件事
I've ever been through in my entire life.
该死的
Damn it.
棒球点子
1 水钻
2 10美分马提尼酒狂欢夜
3 强制药检
3 强制♥服♥药
希望我没打扰到你
Hope I'm not interrupting anything.
丹尼·沃克
Danley Walker.
你的出现让唇疱疹都炸了
You're a sight for cold sores.
你跟平时一样美艳动人宛如特洛伊的海伦
You look as lovely as ever, like Helen of Troy,
只是你这对巨♥乳♥ 可以发射一千艘摩托艇
but with a rack that launched a thousand motorboats.
你的特洛伊木马休想进入我的"大门"
Your Trojan horse will never pass my gates.
如果我说你不必接受这次采访呢
What if I told you you didn't have to do this interview?
我会替你接手这支废物球队
I'll take this crappy team off your hands.
你只需跟我约会一次就行了
All you have to do is go on one date with me.
当然你得献身
I mean, you have to put out.
我约你可不是为了跟你一起吃韩国烤肉
I'm not doing this to split some Korean barbecue.
说得好像本贵妇会进食一样
As if I would ever eat.
我不需要你帮忙丹尼
I don't need your help, Danley.
因为对于这种棒球队我有很多好点子
Because I've got big ideas for this baseball team,
能把蝙蝠侠小麦薄饼队
ideas that are gonna turn the Batman Wheat Thins
这支常胜队伍打到他们妈妈都不认识
into the winningest team this side of the who cares.
看来你是自寻死路[铺好床]Sounds like you made your bed.
最后一次机会让我躺上去
Last chance to let me lie in it.
说得好像本贵妇会...
As if I would ever...
亲手铺床一样
make a bed.
沃克先生准备好了吗
Mr. Walker, are we ready?
你好沃克夫人
Hi, Mrs. Walker.
我是《时报》的露西·纽曼
I'm Lucy Newman from "The Times."
你好纽曼
Hello, Newman.
这篇报道我不会手下留情的
I'm not gonna pull any punches with this piece.
你的球队现在混乱不堪
You've got a team in disarray.
你有什么计划能扭转现状吗
Do you have any plan to turn this team around?
我还真有
Oh, I do.
我的计划由三部分组成我对于第一部分十分满意
I have a three-part plan. Very happy about part one.
我的球员会从头到脚用水钻来装饰
All of my players are going to be bejeweled from head to toe.
包括里面的护身三角绷带
Even their jock straps.
当然了我们不会看见
Of course, we won't see them,
但我一直觉得
but I've always felt that
穿上华丽的内衣能给人自信
a little something pretty underneath gives you confidence.
那运动员们要怎么跑动
How will the players move?
亲爱的所以才需要服用类固醇啊
Honey, that's what the steroids are for.
真是越来越精彩了
This keeps getting better and better.
简直就像保罗·莱恩的政♥治♥遗产
It's like the political legacy of Paul Ryan.
嗨抱歉
Hi, sorry.
我只是来取餐车的
I'm just here to pick up my catering cart.
无视我就好
Oh, just ignore me.
亲爱的你无需说出来大家也会自动无视你的
Honey, that's something you never need to say to anyone.
沃克夫人有没有任何东西能让我不要写
Ms. Walker, is there anything to keep me from writing
你只是又一个有钱的球队老板
that you're just another rich owner
只会把这支球队玩废掉
who's gonna run this team into the ground?
她什么都没有
Oh, oh, she's got nothing.
明天早上
And tomorrow morning,
等斯坦利和我看到报道时...
when Stanley and I read the story--
斯坦利也参与这事了吗
Stanley's in on this?
我已经很久没看到斯坦利这么开心了
I haven't seen Stanley this happy
上次还是他得知可以油炸一整头牛时
since he learned you could deep-fry a whole cow.
我不会让我前夫称心如意的
I am not going to give my ex-husband the satisfaction.
我还有其他点子
I've got other ideas.
更好的点子
Better ideas.
具体是什么呢
What are they?
抱歉我得...
Oh, sorry. I need to--
你看不出来我正在拖延时间吗
Can't you see I'm in the middle of stalling for time?
她为什么要那样看着我
Why is she looking at me like that?
她之前说了些关于棒球的明智看法
She said something smart about baseball.
我觉得她是要打我了
I feel like she's going to hit me.
她的脸真让人忍♥不住想打
She has a face you want to hit.
她为什么不听我关于石磨队的建议
Why didn't she listen to me about the Millstones?
如果他们换位应对左撇子投手
If they just shift against lefties,
把冈萨雷斯交易出去...
trade Gonzalez--
我想起来了
Now I remember.
快拿走说出来嘴嘴