吸血鬼生活

What We Do in the Shadows S02E09

Part 2 June 21, 2020, 10:46 a.m.

the importance of self-care.
等等
Hang on.
妈的
Oh, shit.
操
Fuck.
你有治红斑痤疮的东西吗
Do you have anything for rosacea?
我想我下巴上有点发炎
I think I have a little flare-up on my chin.
跟我来带上摄像机
Come with me. Bring the cameras.
-哪儿有... -这边走
- There's no... - This way.
烈火
Fire.
我说女士们也许我们可以
I say, ladies, perhaps we could come
来达成某种协议
to some kind of arrangement?
想必你们并不需要我们两个吧对吗
I mean, you don't need the two of us, surely. No?
伙计们
Psst, guys.
帮点忙
A little help?
-入侵者入侵者 -抱歉伙计们
- Intruders! Intruders! - Sorry, guys.
别担心姐♥妹♥们♥
Fret not, my sisters.
让他们进来
Let 'em in.
莉莉丝女巫头目
让仪式记录下来永世流传
Let the ceremony be documented for the ages.
白♥痴♥
Idiot.
这有点刺♥激♥
This is kind of exciting.
这儿有点黑不是吗
Little dark in here, huh?
你会和其他人待在这里
You will remain here with the others
直到仪式结束
until the ceremony is complete.
什么仪... 其他人什么
What cer...? Others, what?
等等
Wait!
吉尔莫开灯
Guillermo, get the lights.
-我在找 -就在那边
- I'm looking for it. - It's over there.
在哪里
Over where?
现在他总是在休息
Now he's getting breaks all the time,
这样就不用开灯了
so he doesn't want to turn the lights on!
我在找
I'm looking...
-你老是顶嘴呢 -我在找
- This talking back! - I'm looking for it!
快开灯
Turn on the damn light!
操♥你♥妈♥的
Fuck you guys.
这是什么地方
Oh, what is this place?
可能是某种库房♥
Uh, some sort of storage room, perhaps.
不是库房♥
Not a storage room.
四面八方各位
Places, everyone.
一切都安全了吗
Everything is secure?
是的
Yes.
女巫
Witches!
听好了记笔记
Hear me now and take note.
释放我们我们就饶你们一命
Release us, and you will be shown mercy.
不过再有任何迟疑都将导致你们
But... any further hesitation will ensure
走向彻底的灭亡
your complete and utter destruction!
-好了 -好样的那多
- That'll do. - Well done, Nandor.
你吓到她们了
You've certainly frightened them.
让我们开始吧
Now let us begin.
音乐放起来
Start the music.
不
No.
歌♥单错了
Wrong playlist.
那是我们周二和周四晚
That's for the hip-hop kundalini class
昆达利尼瑜伽课上放的嘻哈音乐
we offer Tuesday, Thursday evenings.
-抱歉 -没事泰莎
- Sorry. - It's all right, Tessa.
音乐放起来
Start the music.
那是什么鬼
What the hell are those?
不知道
I don't know...
我想这就是末日
I think this is the end.
别吸气这是某种
Don't breathe it in. It's some kind of...
你好
Hello.
我得说我不确定
I must say, I-I'm not sure
我完全反对这次诱拐
I fully disapprove of this abduction.
-挺放松的 -有人可能会觉得很色情
- Relaxing, really. - Some might say erotic.
我不清楚你伙计但是
I don't know about y-you, old chap, but
-我硬得不行 -是的
- I have a raging hard-on. - Yes.
这些女巫很狡猾但我也一样
These witches are sly, but so am I.
我想我已经搞清楚了
I think I have 'em figured out.
地上的门我们就能离开这里
Door on the floor... we ain't here no more.
救命
Help!
那门会有那效果
That does that thing.
你好我们想知道...
Oh, hello. We were wondering if, um...
夫人
Ma'am.
这边
This way.
-回见废物们 -我看到这门的时候
- Later, suckers. - And so when I saw that,
我就知道准没错了
I knew it was the right door.
-该死 -她们有多少房♥间啊
- Puta madre. - How many door rooms do they have?
这是同一间房♥ 蠢猪教授
It's the same one, Professor Pig Dick!
我玩过很多密室逃脱
I've done a lot of escape rooms,
但我往往是那个询问
but I'm usually the one in the group that is asking about
玩完以后要去哪吃晚餐
where we're gonna go for dinner afterwards
以及怎么平摊的人
and how we'll split up the bill.
别打开娜嘉
Don't open that, Nadja.
我恨这地方
I hate this place!
拉兹洛亲爱的我来找你了坚强点
Laszlo, my love, I am coming for you. Be strong.
-我来了 -现在别来
- I'm coming! - Not now! Um...
你慢慢来亲爱的
I mean, um, uh, in your own time, my darling.
不着急
No immediate hurry.
-是时候开始萃取了 -开始什么
- 'Tis timeto begin the extraction. - The what, now?
-移除你的精♥液♥ -好
- Removal of your semen. - Oh, yes.
我喜欢这主意请知悉
Well, I'm quite keen on that idea, let that be known.
过程会很快
Now, the process will be quick...
这有点侮辱人不过也许是对的
Well, that's slightly insulting but probably true.
不过我可以来第二次
Though I can go again.
不过恐怕不会是无痛的
...though, I'm afraid, not entirely painless.
泰丝奎恩
Tess? Quinn?
看啊性用品
Ooh, look out. Marital aids?
不是是18世纪手术工具
No. 18th century surgical tools.
-呕 -该死
- Ew. - Shit.
亲爱的尽快现在就来
Fast as you can, my dear! Like, now!
他们都硬了
They are fully engorged.
没错
True.
让我们回到我们真实的形态吧
Let us revert to our true form.
辣妈
MILFs.
-更好了 -反差很大
- Even better. - It's a contrast
但我不会拒绝
but something I wouldn't say no to.
我去准备大锅
I'll prepare the cauldron.
碗装满后把液体带给我
Bring me the fluid when the bowls are filled to the brim.
你用那些做什么
What are you doing with those?
-不不不 -嗨
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Hi.
我觉得这碗不够大
I- I don't think that bowl's going to be big enough.
-娜嘉 -感觉应该塞不下
- Nadja! - Don't think it's going to fit in there.
你得赶快过来
You really need to get here!
看着像伊壁鸠鲁
Looks like Epicurus,
古希腊哲学家享乐主义之父
the Greek philosopher and father of hedonism.
快乐就是没有痛苦
Pleasure is the absence of suffering.
希腊语里的快乐就是
The Greek word for pleasure is...
找到了
Found it.
准备好了吗
Ready?
你怎么找到的
Well, h-h-how'd you find that?
萨里达
"Salida."
出口西班牙语我知道
"Exit." It's in Spanish. I know.
-我也知道 -我发现的
- I know that, too. - I... I've discovered it.
-我也能想到的 -吉尔莫
- I would've thought of it. - Guillermo.
我就说我会带我们离开这儿的
I told you I'd get us out of here.
-那是装酒的不是吗 -不不不
- It's for wine, isn't it? - No, no, no, no, no.
-我们刚见过 -你要用那个做什么
- We just met. - Where are you going with that?
立刻放下那些小剑
Put those tiny swords down this instant,
不然我就用它们来刺你们有硬壳的奶♥子♥
or you'll be removing them from your crusty old tits
和干瘪的屁♥股♥
and dry, old asses.
亲爱的见到你我真高兴
Ooh, my darling, am I pleased to see you.