吸血鬼生活

What We Do in the Shadows S02E01

Part 3 April 19, 2020, 8:45 a.m.

And did you bring a personal item belonging to the deceased?
是的他的小冰箱
Uh, yes, uh, his mini-fridge.
吉尔莫你带小冰箱了吗
Uh, Guillermo, you did bring the mini-fridge, yeah?
他非常爱这个寒冷的白色小箱子
He absolutely loved this cold, white little box.
还有一只疯猫的脚
And the foot of a deranged cat,
夜蓟附子草
the night-thistle, the parcel of wolf's-bane
还有350美元现金
and the $350 cash?
-谢谢 -都在那了
- Thank you. - It's all there,
眼花缭乱男
razzle-dazzle man.
很好很好必须是350美元现金
Good, good. I can't stress enough the $350 cash.
-我们懂 -否则咒语就不灵了
- Yeah, I'll bet you can't. - Otherwise, the spells don't work.
华♥莱♥士♥ 你觉得我们能唤回
Wallace, do you think we are going to get
-我们挚爱的托佛吗 -他好像保存得挺好
- our beloved Topher back? - Well, he seems well preserved.
好像也没有任何损伤
Everything seems to want to... seems to be intact.
他的肠子
He hasn't had that, uh,
没有从屁♥股♥里漏出来吧
intestines out of the asshole, has he?
没有没有
No, no.
很好因为那真是太恶心了
Good, 'cause that really yucks me out.
好了开始稳住了
Right, then, here we go. Hold on to your hats.
好了你复活了
Yes! You're alive!
你可以跳摇摆舞
You can jive!
你的灵魂重返人间
Your spirit rise!
*你眼里的光芒已逝*
? The light has gone Out of your eyes ?
*多么惊喜*
? What a surprise ?
他在吟唱吗
Is he scatting?
不当然不是
No, of course not.
这就是扯蛋
This is bullshit.
闭嘴
Shut up.
为什么他在看手♥机♥
Why is he looking at his phone?
可能有重要的事紧急事件
It probably just can't wait. It's an emergency.
进去你这个混♥蛋♥
Get in, you bastard!
结束我已经完成复活术了
The end. I have achieved reanimation.
你们挚爱的亲信
Your beloved familiar
明天会回到你们身边
will return to you tomorrow.
-明天吗 -复活要花时间的我的朋友
- Tomorrow? - Life takes time, my friend.
我们这是逆天改命啊
We are reversing the very power of nature itself.
但有一个更快的仪式
But there's a-a quickening ritual,
如果你们想早点看到效果的话
if you want to chivvy things along.
因为我们都是朋友一百块就可以
As we're all friends, I could do it for a hundy.
不别想了我们不感兴趣
No, you bloody won't. We're not interested.
非常感谢你华♥莱♥士♥
Thank you so very much, Wallace.
一切都恢复正常了因为我们的托佛又回来了
Everything is back to normal, because our Topher is back!
是真的我得承认
It's true. I've got to admit,
华♥莱♥士♥ 即使卑鄙如他
Wallace, as contemptible a man as he is,
-其实挺令人满意的 -早跟你说了
- actually came up trumps. - Told you so.
你♥他♥妈♥的没说过
You fucking didn't.
别告诉吉尔莫但是
Don't tell Guillermo, but...
托佛回来了我好高兴
I'm so happy Topher is back.
好了我们开始会议吧
All right, let us begin with the minutes.
我在这儿
I am here.
吉尔莫你在那儿
Guillermo, you are there.
还有...
And, um...
托佛
To-pher!
托托
Oh, Tophie!
托佛在那
And there is Topher.
真棒
Wonderful.
我们都到齐了可以开始了
We are all here. We can begin.
首先我不会点名
Firstly-- and I'm not naming names--
但我最近注意到房♥子里有股
but I have recently noticed that the house reeks
腐肉的臭味还有到处都是死鸟
of decaying flesh, and there are dead birds everywhere.
托佛
Topher!
正如我所说的我不会指名道姓
As I say, I'm not naming names.
但如果我们有了问题的话
But if we do have an issue,
最重要的是我们要齐心协力
then it's important that we all work together
把这个问题告诉吉尔莫好让他去解决
to let Guillermo know, so that he can fix it.
硬核苹果酒
Doze Apples!
他又跑了
Off he goes.
那家伙就是不知疲倦不是吗
That chap's tireless, isn't he?
你能从托佛身上学到些什么对吗吉尔莫
You could learn something from Topher, no, Guillermo?
事实上我有件事想谈谈
I actually have an order of business I'd like to discuss.
好吧
Okay.
-你说吧 -我有点担心担心托佛
- The floor is yours. - I'm a little bit concerned about Topher.
我觉得他可能出了什么毛病
I think there might be something really wrong with him.
托佛
Topher! Aah!
首先他会在我床下等着试图咬我
He waits under my bed and tries to bite me, for one.
他吃活鸟和昆虫
He eats live birds and insects.
我想他可能是个僵尸
I think, I think he might be a zombie.
那听起来像是诽谤
That, my boy, sounds like slander.
南多你打算怎么处理从他嘴里喷出来的
Nandor, what are you going to do about the state of the muck
-这堆粪肥 -吉尔莫
- pouring out of his mouth? - Guillermo,
你有证据证明这一疯狂的指控吗
do you have any proof of this wild accusation?
你有吗
Well, do you?
他根本就不正常
He's not well!
-他吓坏了 -对
- He's freaking out. - Yes!
他要吃了我我的上帝啊
He's gonna eat me! Dios mío!
他开始说灵言了
Well, now he's speaking in tongues.
这简直太不厚道了你对托佛的那些指控
That is awful of you to call Topher those things you just did.
没错
Exactly.
吉尔莫你最近有好好睡够觉吗
Guillermo, have you been getting enough sleep?
没有没有我根本就没法睡
No. No, I am not getting any sleep!
我已经两周没睡觉了
I haven't slept in the last two weeks,
因为我得睁着一只眼睛保护你们
because I have to keep one eye open to protect you guys!
谁要来伤害我们
Protect us from what?
没什么
Nothing.
我只希望你们知道我为此付出了多大的努力
I just wish you guys knew how hard I work for you,
然而你们不知道所以没关系算了吧
and you don't, so that's okay, never mind, forget it.
你看到了吗
Did you see that?
他在吃自己的干便便
He was eating his own dry poops.
吸血鬼杀手通常是晚上来的
The vampire assassins usually come at night,
所以我必须经常检查周围
so I have to constantly survey the perimeter.
托佛
Topher!
托佛不不不
Topher? No, no, no, no, no, no!
我不想死我不想死我不想
I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna...
对不起
Sorry. Sorry.
为什么
Why...?
对不起兄弟但你想要杀了我
Sorry, buddy, but you were trying to kill me.
击个掌
High five.
真的要吗兄弟
I don't know, bud.
-快点 -好吧行吧
- Come on! - Okay. All right.
靠
Aw, shit.
-为什么 -对不起小托
- Why?! - Sorry, Toph.
看这就是我不想击掌的原因
See, that's why I didn't want to do that.
小托
Toph.
不兄弟我觉得它可能接不回去了
No, buddy, I don't think it's gonna go back on there, bud.
击个掌
High five!
不我不想再跟你击掌了
No, I'm not gonna high-five you anymore.
击个掌
High five!
小托这样很疼
Ow, Toph! That really hurt!
-来击掌 -住手你
- High five! - Stop it, you...
你现在真的很无礼
You're being really rude right now!
住手住手
Stop it! Stop it!
停下托佛住手托佛
Stop it, Topher. Stop it, Topher!
住手托佛
Stop it, Topher!
靠不行
Aw, fuck no!
没有人可以咬吉尔莫
No one bites Guillermo!
这是个意外
It was an accident.
好吧伙计们我要出门了
All right, dudes, I'm headed out.
我要去奥尔巴尼
Going up to Albany
去一家社区剧院看《彼平正传》
to catch a community theater production of Pippin.
我们的托老兄是怎么了
What's going on with, uh, Toph-Dawg?
我认为他是个僵尸