吸血鬼生活

What We Do in the Shadows S02E03

Part 4 June 21, 2020, 10:45 a.m.

Nandor wants to kill Sean 'cause he's got the Brain Scramblies.
那南多是对的
Well, then Nandor is correct.
你心肠变软了吗我亲爱的糖浆派
Have you gone soft, my sweet syrup pie?
不我亲爱的糖浆派我变硬了
No, my sweet syrup pie, I've gone hard.
因为他是我最好的朋友我的伙伴
'Cause he's my best friend, he's my pal.
他是我的老乡我腐烂的士兵
He's my homeboy, my rotten soldier.
我甜蜜的奶酪我的乖孩子
He's my sweet cheese, my good‐time boy.
拉兹洛很明显我们必须杀了他
Laszlo, this is clearly what must be done.
快艇骰子
Oh, Yahtzee!
为了肖恩好
For Sean's own sake.
我去拿我的扯头手套
I'll go get my head‐ripping gloves.
不不不等一下
No, no, no, hang on, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
我们不是野兽
We're not animals.
咱们给他最后可以铭记的一晚吧
Let's give him one last night to remember.
一个在世上的神奇一晚在我们"干掉"他前
One magical night on Earth before we... "Whack" him.
好吧可以这也行
Well, okay, yes, that is fair.
我可以感受到各位
I can feel it, guys.
我真的觉得我们就差这么点
I mean, I really think we are, like, this close
找到第一个吸血鬼了
to finding our first vampire.
-对 -等等所以你们其实从来没有
‐ Yes. ‐ Wait, so you guys have never actually...
遇到或见到过一个真正的吸血鬼吗
met or seen a real vampire.
拜托这又不像是
Well, come on, it's not like they're just
他们会在大白天出来到处走
walking around in broad daylight, you know?
-没错 -在公园玩橄榄球
‐ Yeah. ‐ Throwing a football in the park.
-就是 -跑来跑去办事
‐ Seriously. ‐ Running errands.
-对啊 -去银行
‐ Yeah. ‐ Going to the bank.
-吃椒盐卷饼 -对
‐ Eating a pretzel. ‐ Yeah.
-还遛狗 -我见过
‐ Walking a dog... ‐ I have.
我的室友
My roommate
被吸血鬼
was turned
初拥了
by a vampire.
她变成了一个吸血鬼
And became a vampire.
她就在我面前死去
She died right in front of my eyes.
结果她又复活了
But then she came back to life.
什么鬼
What the fuck?!
但是她跟之前不一样病了
But she was different, sick...
很反常
unnatural.
到最后她就
And eventually she just...
消失了
vanished.
她曾经前景光明
Her future was so bright.
她曾是一名那么棒的"真角演"玩家
She was such a brilliant LARPer.
我觉得莎妮斯和我有个共同的朋友
I think Shanice and I might have a mutual friend.
世界真小
Small world.
这就是生活
This is the life.
和我最喜欢的三只沙鼠一起玩
Hanging out with my three favorite gerbils.
我只有一个问题我们是在里面还是外面
I only have one question-- are we inside or outside?
你得专注肖恩
You need to focus, Sean.
享受你人生里最神奇的一晚
And enjoy the most magical night of your life.
抓稳了
Hold tight.
什么你怎么做到的
What? Whoa... How are you doing this?!
你怎么做到的
How are you doing this?!
什么情况
What's going on now?!
天不我的天
Oh, God, no! Mother Mary!
-等等我们 -我们来了
- Wait for us. - Here we come.
不不我♥操♥
Oh, no, no! Fuck me!
既然你体验了飞行的快♥感♥
Now that you've experienced the pleasure of flying,
现在是时候见识下变身了
enjoy the marvel of transfiguration.
什么
What?
蝙蝠
Bat!
那混♥蛋♥去哪了
Where'd that asshole go?!
天滚开
Oh, God! Get off!
看看他好开心
Look at that, he's having a lovely time.
-他很喜欢 -别弄我头发
- He loves this. - No, get out of my hair!
别弄我头发
Get out of my hair! Get...!
-肖恩看着我 -不
- Sean, look at me. - No!
停下你在干什么
Stop that! What are you doing?
这不自然
It ain't natural!
你喜欢看我吗肖恩
Are you enjoying watching me, Sean?
不停下下来
No! Stop it! Get down here!
好好看看这个
Ooh, get a good look at this! Wow!
-我去 -抱歉拉兹洛
- Holy shit! - Sorry, Laszlo.
但你知道这是他最后一晚
But, you know, it's his last night.
我不在乎
I don't care.
现在是压轴大戏
And now for the grand finale.
我们吸血鬼统治了动物
We vampires have dominion of animals.
所以我们决定给你办一个
So we decided to throw you a little
小狗派对
puppy party.
你们干了什么
What have you done?!
天啊
Oh, God!
我们今晚干得真漂亮
We did something really good tonight.
我为我们感到骄傲
I'm proud of us.
-是的 -好兄弟
- Yes. - My boys.
我很少有真朋友
I haven't really had many real friends.
所以当我遇到珍娜时我整个生活都变了
So, when I met Jenna, my whole life changed, really.
但她被人从我身边夺走
But she was taken from me.
我想我从没考虑过
I guess I never really think about
受害者或者他们的家人
the victims or their families.
我想我关掉了我大脑里
Uh, I guess I switched that part of my brain off
情绪和感情的开关
with, um, feelings and emotions.
杀吸血鬼杀人
Killing vampires, killing humans,
手♥机♥受害者都很肮脏丑陋
collecting victims-- it's all so nasty and ugly.
我为此献出了我毕生精力
And, you know, I devoted my life to it, so...
所以我才来这里
So that's why I'm here!
因为吸血鬼只会带来痛苦
Because vampires cause nothing but pain!
-说得对 -说得对
- Hear, hear. - Hear, hear.
同意我的话就说是
Come on, say "Aye" If you're with me.
-是 -我得走了
- Aye! - I have to go.
我很抱歉
I'm so sorry.
-我好像没有关家里马桶 -确定吗
- I think I left my toilet running. - You sure?
-嗯 -我们正要开始十字弓练习
- Yeah. - We're just about to start crossbow practice.
-那是什么 -德雷克给我们找来了一些家人当靶子
- What's that? - Derek got us some mannequins to use as targets.
是的
Yeah.
-来感受下 -那是武器
- Get a load of this, huh? - That's a weapon.
-嗯 -那些是吸血鬼吗
- Yeah. - And those are vampires?
是的我在万圣节商店里买♥♥的服装
Yeah, I got the costumes at a Halloween store.
我想我没有...
Okay, I don't think I'd be really...
我去皮条客
Damn, pimp!
我得走了
I have to go.
不好意思是只有我觉得这人是个超棒的皮条客吗
I'm sorry, is-is it just me, or is this guy an epic pimp?
周三再见对吗
We'll see you on Wednesday, right?
嗯如果见不到的话很高兴认识你们
No, yeah, a-and if you don't, it was really nice meeting you.
莎妮斯你朋友的事我很遗憾
And, Shanice, I'm very sorry about your friend.
你们在对付吸血鬼的时候
And you guys should be really careful
要很小心他们可不是闹着玩的
when dealing with vampires-- they're no joke.
希望能再见到你孩子
Hey, hope to see you again soon, son.
不只是因为你
And not just 'cause you,
你十字弓技术超群
you have wicked skills with the C-bow.
还因为你很酷吉尔莫
You're a mighty cool dude, Guillermo.
谢谢
Thank you.
滑过去
Just slide it.
-往左滑 -你得
- Yeah, push it to the left... - Yeah, you got
-用力滑 -对了没错
- To throw your weight into it. - There you go, you got it.
我们会关的不用管
All right, we'll close it-- don't worry about it.
好了
All right.
刚才很好玩伙计
Well, that was a lot of fun, old chap.
你肯定可以开心得死去了
I bet you could die a happy man.
他比之前还糟糕
He's worse than before.
我们又把他毁了
We've ruined him again.
那就更该帮他脱离苦海了
All the more reason to put him out of his misery.
动手吧南多
Go ahead, Nandor.
好