吸血鬼生活

What We Do in the Shadows S02E08

Part 2 June 21, 2020, 10:46 a.m.

to network and exchange work techniques,
但主要是发牢骚
but it's mostly bitching.
还有可悲的约炮
And sad hookups.
我的吸血鬼让我开车来的
My vampire let me drive here,
如果有需要我可以载你去任何地方
so if you need a ride anywhere,
或者你只想坐着聊聊天
or if you just want to, like, sit and chat or...
-任何事都行 -那是瑟莱斯特吗
- whatever... - Is that Celeste?
-我过去打个招呼 -你懂的
- I'm gonna go say hi. - You know,
你甚至什么都不做也行
you don't even have to do anything, you know.
她说不管了
So she was like, "Screw it,
我要把你转化成吸血鬼
I'm just gonna make you a vampire."
-痛吗 -嗯很痛
- Did it hurt? - Yes. It did.
-瑟莱斯特 -很痛
- Hey, Celeste. - It did.
嗨
Hi!
-艾尔莫 -是吉尔莫
- Elmo! - Guillermo.
你好
Hello.
瑟莱斯特是个亲信我以前经常帮她
Celeste was a familiar that I used to help out
她当时有太多尸体处理过不来
when she had too many bodies that she couldn't get rid of.
去年
她的主人是个12岁的姑
Her master was a 12-year-old girl.
她已经保持12岁150年了
She's been 12 for 150 years.
我认为她的工作并不轻松
I'd say her job hasn't been easy.
她有付出代价
She's paid her dues, and...
现在她是吸血鬼了
she's a vampire now.
我很
I am so...
为她感到高兴
happy for her.
真酷你现在是...
That's so cool that you are now a...
那是真的...
Are... Is that real...
血吗
blood?
我制成电子烟了很美味
I vape it. Delicious.
我现在是吸血鬼所以很美味
I mean, it's delicious to me, now that I'm a vampire,
-你多半会很讨厌 -我要是的话可能会很喜欢
- but you'd probably hate it. - Probably like it if I was.
不不适合你
No. It's not for you.
你会这样
You'd be like...
你还在给南多工作对吧
Hey, you're still working for Nandor, right?
已经11年了
Uh, I've been there 11 years, so...
11年
11 years?
我不会那样
Wow. Well, I'm not doing it like that.
我答应了我所有亲信
I've promised all of my familiars
他们最多在八个月内就能变成吸血鬼
that they'll be vampires within eight months, maximum.
-八个月 -我在打造
- Eight months? - I'm building
一个吸血鬼社区
a vampire community.
我们会有吸血鬼音乐吸血鬼舞蹈
We will have vampire music, vampire dance,
吸血鬼折纸
vampire origami,
吸血鬼数学
vampire maths.
你们已经招满人了吗还是
Are you fully staffed, or do...
我不会偷人吸血鬼准则
Oh, I don't poach. Vampire code.
当然我的大门随时敞开
I mean, my door's always open.
但你得和你现在的主人完全划清关系才行
But you have to be free and clear of your current master.
-所以完全取决于你 -瑟莱斯特
- So it's really up to you. - Celeste.
抱歉这是凯伦
Sorry. This-this is Karen.
-凯伦很想见你 -你好我是凯伦
- Karen is, like, dying to meet you. - Hi, I'm Karen.
-她是你铁粉 -我
- She's, like, a big fan.- I'm
-对你的工作很感兴趣 -很想见我
- so interested in your work. - Dying to meet me.
-很想见你 -抱歉
- Dying to meet you. - Sorry.
我知道我会成为吸血鬼
I know I'm gonna be a vampire.
-我能感觉到会成真的 -等等本吉本吉
- I can feel it. It's gonna happen. - Wait, wait. Benjy. Benjy.
本吉本吉我想我是第一顺位
Benjy. Benjy. I think I'm up first,
因为我比你早来很久
'cause I've been around a lot longer than you.
-好的 -你懂的
- Okay. - You know.
纪录片拍摄团队
? Documentary crew?
我好想好想
? I want to eat you?
吃掉你们
? So, so bad...?
-怎么了 -没什么我喜欢结尾
- What? What's wrong? - Nothing. I like the end of that one,
我只是觉得我们太想要现代化了
I just feel like we're trying to be too contemporary.
亲爱的我们所有热曲都是那些
Oh, my darling, all of our greatest hits have been songs
抓住了时代精神的歌♥ 比如
that really captured the spirit of the time, like, um,
-那首跟奥♥运♥会有关的 -是的
- the one about the Olympics. - Oh, yes.
撑杆跳高跳远我们都刮目相看
? Pole vaulting, long jumping, we're all quite impressed?
告诉我们希♥特♥勒♥先生
? Tell us, Mr. Hitler?
你接下来有什么计划
? What do you have planned next??
好像变得不太合时宜了
I'm not sure that's aged well.
知道吗
You know what?
如果我们把你的棺材挪一点
If we slide your coffin over a little,
我们就能把我的棺材放旁边
we could put my coffin right next to it.
嗯我马上就去处理本吉
Yes, I'll get right on that, Benjy.
打扰下主人我能私下跟你说个事吗
Excuse me, Master, may I speak with you in private?
好啊本吉
I would like that. Uh, Benjy?
你回避下听上去像是要事
Leave us. This sounds important.
-我反正都要去撒尿 -去吧
- I got to take a leak, anyway. - You do that.
谢谢你吉尔莫
Thank you for that, Guillermo.
美国有任何地方
Are there any places in America
比特拉华州更远吗
that are further away than Delaware?
当然但我得跟你说件事
Yes, of course, but I need to speak to you about something.
-私事 -不
- It's personal. - Oh, no.
没事的吉尔莫你真的不用的
No, it's okay, Guillermo. You really don't have to.
如果难以开口那或许最好...
If it's difficult to say, it's probably best...
请坐主人 -见鬼
- Take a seat, Master. - Oh... shit.
主人你有打算把我转化成吸血鬼吗
Master, are you planning on making me a vampire?
你是在逗我吗
Are you bullshitting me on this?
怎么现在
How is it that now
人人都觉得他们能做吸血鬼了
everyone thinks they can be a vampire?
我跟你说过我们晚点再谈
I told you before, we'll talk about it later.
你总是想要晚点再谈
You always want to talk about it later.
要是有人现在给我开出了更好的条件呢
Well, what if I have a better offer right now? Hmm?
-现在吗 -是的
- What, right now? - Yes.
那你就该接受
Then you should take it.
什么
What?
你该接受
You should take it.
好我会的
Well, then, I will.
-那就去吧 -我会的
- Okay, then do. - Okay, then, I will.
你应该接受
Okay, then, you should.
-我会接受的 -去吧 -好
- Then I'll take it. - Okay, go. - Okay.
好极了
Great.
你
Well... are you...
没有我你会没事吧
are you gonna be all right without me?
是的我会好好的
Yes, I'll be fine.
谢天谢地本吉回来了
Thankfully, Benjy has returned,
本吉
and Benjy
是我有过的最棒的亲信
is the best familiar I've ever had.
所以一切都会常棒非
So everything will be okay-A.
非常棒
A-okay.
常非棒
O-A-kay.
非常棒
A-okay.
我就这么说的
As I said.
谢谢我从你身上学到了很多
Well, thank you. I learned a lot from you.
你这是在犯傻
You're being stupid.
你说什么
What was that?
没什么
Uh, nothing.
我什么都没说
I didn't say anything.
那好
Okay, then.
我把吉尔莫当儿子一样对待
I treated Guillermo like a son,
他就是这么回报我的
and this is how he repays me?
我把那小子抱在怀里
I held that little guy in my arms
好让他可以假装飞翔
so he could pretend to fly.
不受尊重不被感激
Disrespected, unappreciated,
被无视
overlooked.
我在他生日上给他做了张亮粉照片什么的
I made him some kind of glitter picture on his birthday or something.
我为他做了太多事
I did all kinds of shit for him
以至于我现在一件都想不起来
that I can't even think of right now.
正因此
So that's why