吸血鬼生活

It's-it's him. It's Colin Robinson.
他让你们反♥目♥ 他从中吸取能量
He's making you turn on each other, and he's feeding off of it.
我觉得吉斯莫或许发现了什么
I think Gizmo might be onto something.
他长出了头发 他在吸干我们
His hair's grown, and he's draining us.
他不仅在吸干我们 这是巨吸
He's not only draining us. This is a mega-drain.
但是我还是拥有世界上最棒的头发
Although I still have the best hair in the world.
你怎么好意思说你有最棒的头发 看看我的头发
How can you say you have the best hair? Look at my hair.
我有东西落在我房♥间里了
I forgot something in my room.
你的头发看起来像狗
Your hair looks like a dog.
-你没有层次 -是的 我现在能飞了
- You have no layers... - Oh, and, yeah, I can fly now.
柯林·鲁宾逊变得太过强大
Colin Robinson has grown too powerful.
我们不再有进食的精力
We no longer have enough energy to feed.
拉兹洛呢
Where's Laszlo?
拉兹洛在你后面
Laszlo's behind you.
他处于死亡模式 为了保存精力
He's in death mode so as to preserve energy.
我必须说 这是紧急事件 所以我要说出来
I hate to say this, but it's an emergency, so I'm going to say it.
我们吃了吉尔莫吧
Let's eat Guillermo.
娜嘉说得对
Nadja is right.
这是唯一的方法 吉尔莫
It's the only way. Guillermo?
吉尔莫 过来 把你脖子放到我嘴巴里
Guillermo, come over here and put your neck in my mouth.
不 你得自己起来吃 我起不来
No, you have to get up and do it, 'cause I can't get up.
娜嘉 都怪你
Nadja, this is all your fault.
是你邀请柯林·鲁宾逊
You were the one that invited Colin Robinson
跟我们一起住的
to come and live with us.
这不是我的错 拉兹洛邀请的他
This is not my fault. Laszlo invited him.
没有 他是房♥子的附赠品
Not true. He came with the house.
看看我们 我们真可悲
Look at us. We are pathetic.
别再拍这样的我们了
Stop filming us like this!
2号♥摄像机 过来 把你脖子放到我嘴里
C-Camera Two, come over here and put your neck in my mouth.
柯林·鲁宾逊最近
Colin Robinson has recently
获得了巨大的能力
gained a huge, horrifying amount of power.
他只用走进房♥子 我们就没希望了
He just has to walk into the house, and we have no hope.
但我们有个计划 让柯林·鲁宾逊分心
But we have a plan, distract Colin Robinson
然后毁掉给了他权力的办公室君主
and destroy his office overlords who granted him this power.
我需要让他做几份名单
I need to get him making some lists,
然后我们就能逃走了
and then we can escape.
他喜欢名单
He loves lists.
你好 柯林·鲁宾逊
Hello, Colin Robinson.
你要干什么 我很忙
What do you want? I'm busy.
你最近都在哪 我们都很想你
Um, where have you been? We've missed you around the house.
鬼信啊 就跟你们关心我一样
Yeah, right. Like you care.
唯一关心我的人是我真正的朋友 我的工作朋友
The only people that care are my real friends, my work friends.
他们倾听我 因为他们别无选择
And they listen because they have to.
我想认识你的工作朋友
Well, I would love to know about your work friends.
他们都叫什么
What are all their names?
有丹和阿尔尼
Well, there's Dan and then Arnie.
然后是杰米
And then there's Jamie,
他其实不在办公室工作 回来 我没说完
who doesn't actually work at the office. Come back. I'm not done.
然后有糖尿病戴夫
And then we have Diabetic Dave.
艾莉 我叫她菲比 因为这让她心烦
Ellie, who I call Phoebe because it annoys her.
然后就是本
And then, of course, you have Ben.
另一个本 我叫他鲍尔萨姆[香脂]本
Another Ben, and I call him Balsamic Ben,
因为他是演员马丁·鲍尔萨姆的粉丝
because he's a fan of Martin Balsam, the actor,
不是因为他喜欢香脂醋
not because he likes balsamic vinegar.
然后就是人力资源
And... that bring us, then, to HR...
我们的计划是什么来着
What is the plan again?
跑开
Run away.
为什么不走开
Why don't we... walk away?
我尽力听他说话了
I listened to him for as long as I could,
但他的能力比以往都强大
but his power is stronger than...
什么 怎么了
What? What is it?
没什么 亲爱的
Nothing, my sweet darling.
-你们的脸 -你坐我旁边吧
- Your faces. - Why don't you come and sit next to me,
我们可以一起断气
and we can expire together.
来我这边吧 这样更好
Come and join me here. That's better.
不管了
Fuck it.
既然我们都要死了
Well, since we're about to die,
我想我该坦白一件事
I guess I should confess something.
-记得所有那些吸血鬼被杀的时候 -吉尔莫
- Remember when all those vampires were being mur... - Guillermo,
等我死了你再坦白
please save your confession till once I am dead.
明白 主人
Yes, Master.
各位
Hey, gang.
他靠意念就能喝水
He can drink with just his mind?
柯林·鲁宾逊 你为什么要这么对我们
Colin Robinson, why are you doing this to us?
我们是你在世界上的唯一朋友
We are your only friends in the world.
为什么要让我们受罪
Why subject us to this hell?
朋友 朋友会在他们朋友
Friends? Do friends ignore their friends
给他们说自己得到升职时无视他们吗
when their friend tells them about a big promotion that
他们本打算拒绝的
they got at work, which they were considering turning down
就为了能有更多时间陪朋友
just so they could hang out more with their friends?
朋友会指控他们的朋友吸干♥他♥们吗
Do friends accuse their friend of draining them
-实际上他们的朋友只想 -吉尔莫 走开
- when all their friend wanted to do was ... - Guillermo, walk away.
拯救你自己
Save yourself.
-吉尔莫 -不
- Hey, hey, Guillermo. - No.
-好啊 吉尔莫 -不
- What's up, Guillermo? - No.
-你好 -你好
- ? Hello... ? - ? Hello... ?
你好
? Hello... ?
-这是什么鬼 -不 他们增殖了
- What's this shit? - Oh, no. They're multipl...
显然我不再需要你们这样的朋友了
Clearly, I no longer need friends like you anymore.
我只需要我自己
All I need is myself.
我现在是我自己的最好朋友
I'm my own best friend now.
柯林者
The Colinator.
C侠
The C-Man.
饶了我们吧 柯林·鲁宾逊们
Have mercy on us, Colin Robinsons.
饶 真是异想天开
Mercy? That's rich.
-你有... -等等
- Did you show me... - H-Hold on.
你说"C侠"的时候
Actually, when you say "C-Man,"
听上去有点像精♥液♥
it sounds kind of like "semen."
-那是柯林的缩写 -我来处理
- It's short for Colin. - I'll handle this.
这重要吗
Does it even matter?
我觉得很酷
I mean, it's cool.
-C侠 -很重要 不 那并不酷
- C-Man. - Yeah, it matters, and, no, it's not cool.
但为什么重要呢
Okay, but why does it matter?
63分钟后
或许我们需要开一个小会
Maybe we need to have a sidebar meeting?
我去看看我的日程表 但是
I-I'll check my schedule, but...
-C侠的日程很宽松 -别说C侠
- C-Man's schedule is wide open. - Don't say "C-Man."
我们要谈什么
Uh, what would even be on the agenda?
我们的名字
Our names.
我觉得你想说的应该是"昵称"
But actually I think the term you're looking for is "nicknames."
柯林们似乎在互相吸能量
The Colins seem to be draining each other's energy.
-不 是署名 -实际上 我更喜欢头衔
- No, "moniker." - Actually, I prefer "handle."
-绰号♥ -法语的吗
- "Sobriquet"? - A-As in the French?
意思是
Meaning...
昵称
"Nicknames."
不
Oh, no.
他们被自己给无聊死了
They bored themselves to death.
-好可悲 -那就这样吧
- Mm, how sad. - So be it.
柯林·鲁宾逊繁衍了两个自己
Colin Robinson multiplied himself by three
然后把自己无聊死了
and then bored himself to death.
很伤心
It's very sad.
我们现在要埋葬好几个柯林
We have a number of Colins we have to bury into the ground now.
没事 我拉着你的手
It's okay, I've got your hand.
下面很舒服
It's nice down there.
要很恭敬 吉尔莫
Very respectfully, Guillermo.
我们今晚从我们家来到这里
We have traveled here tonight from our house
我们的花♥园♥ 埋葬柯林·鲁宾逊
to our garden to lay to rest Colin Robinson,
柯林·鲁宾逊和C侠
Colin Robinson, and... C-Man
旁边就是他最爱的栅栏的一部分
next to this, his favorite bit of the fence.
他深爱这栅栏
Loved this fence.
我们在这见过他几次
We saw him here a couple of times.