疼痛难免（2022）

I saw her in the toilet.
能和你简单聊两句吗
Can I have a quick word?
-可以 -没有助产士 没有病房♥员工
- Yeah. - No midwives, no ward clerk,
现在连医生都要走了
and now the doctors are leaving.
报告这事 其实很简单
OK, so, this statement thing, right? It's easy.
你只需要交一份新的就行了
All you should do is just, like, send in a new one.
行吗 就说你打错字了什么的
Yeah? Like, just say you made a typo or something.
好啊 其中一个错字导致
Right. One of those typos where
我不小心伪造了整个报告
I accidentally falsified my whole story.
你总得做点什么 这也关乎我的职业生涯
Well, you have to do something. It's my career, too.
今天是没有人来上班吗
Don't suppose there's anybody fucking working here today,
-有吗 -对不起 霍顿女士
- is there? - Sorry, Ms Houghton.
-我们只是... -好了 二位
- We were just, er... - All right, you.
希望那双鞋有钢制鞋头
I hope those shoes have got steel toecaps.
我们今天要大干一番
We're going to kick today a whole new arsehole.
-好吧... -你打算干点什么吗
- OK... - Are you going to do something
还是就像瓶蛋黄酱一样傻站在那
or just stand there like a bottle of fucking mayonnaise?
不如你去给大伙买♥♥一杯咖啡吧
Why don't you get a round of coffees in?
这样吧 给你自己也买♥♥一杯
Tell you what, get yourself one, too.
不好意思 先生 公交车出故障了
Sorry, darling. The bus broke down.
没关系 拿好名牌找个位子坐下
No problem, just grab a name badge and find a seat.
医疗行业用语规范
主讲人
嘉文·格拉泽
就像我刚才说的 老年医学应该被称作...
So, as I was saying, geriatrics should now be referred to as...
以人为中心的用语
"高龄群体关怀"
"care of the older person".
"高龄群体关怀" 听着像水疗养生一样
"Care of the older person"? They make it sound like a spa.
他们为什么不再干得彻底一点
I don't know why they don't just go the whole hog,
干脆叫"不可避免群体关怀"
call it "Care of the inevitable".
之前肯定有一版指示是这么写的
I'm sure it used to be called that three directives ago.
有什么需要帮忙的吗 女士们
Anything I can help you with, ladies?
我们是在说老年患者不用再被
Oh, we were just saying that it's, erm, it's great that, er,
过时的用语规范冒犯
older patients will no longer be crippled
实在是太好了
by old-fashioned language.
我们不说"冒犯"这个词
We...We don't say "Crippled".
不好意思
Apologies.
混♥蛋♥
You twat.
患者现在应该被称作..."客户"
Patients should now be referred to as..."clients".
这是因为"患者"一词
That's because the word "Patient"
实际上来源于拉丁语 原意是...
actually stems from the Latin "Patiens", which....
如果他们是客户 那我们是什么
If they're clients, then what are we?
-妓♥女♥吗 -我要是妓♥女♥的话
- Prostitutes? - Well, at least if I was a prostitute,
至少不用忍♥受那个傻鸟
I wouldn't have to put up with that prick.
这可不好说
I wouldn't bet on it.
我正在教给你们
I'm just equipping you
得体工作所需的正确用语规范
with the right language to do your jobs properly.
我敢肯定我的患者们会非常高兴
I'm sure my patients will be thrilled.
客户
Clients.
客户
Clients!
你是跑去了巴西买♥♥的吗
Did you go to fucking Brazil for those?
对不起 因为
Sorry, there was, erm,
咖啡店只有一名员工
only one person working at the coffee shop.
"因为这啊那啊"
"There was a lah-lah-lah-lah-lah."
你要克扣找零还是怎么的
Keeping the change, or what?
-数没错 -霍顿女士
- Yeah. - Ms Houghton,
我一直在考虑三胞胎[三人行]的事
I've been thinking a lot about triplets.
没人想知道你的手♥淫♥素材是什么
No-one wants to hear about your wank bank.
真可惜
Very pithy.
话说回来 我的意思是
So, what I meant was, erm,
关于即将进行手术分娩的
with regard to the forthcoming operative delivery
-三胞胎... -真是绘声绘色 凯医生
- of the triplets... - Such verisimilitude, Dr Kay.
我不知道那词啥意思
I don't know what it means.
只是觉得有必要跟着用花哨的词
I just felt the need to join in with the fancy words.
关于三胞胎...
About the, er, triplets, erm...
我在想您能否让我来主刀这次剖腹产
I wonder if you might allow me to perhaps do the Caesarean.
我已经接生过几次双胞胎 所以...
I've obviously done several sets of twins, and, erm...
有机会学习您的技术
It would be an incredible boost
对我的职业发展来说将是
to my professional development to have the opportunity
一次极大的进步
to, erm, to learn your technique.
你觉得会是什么技术
What the fuck do you think the technique is?
你把婴儿拉出来
You pull the babies out
直到里头没有婴儿为止
till there aren't any more fucking babies to pull out.
好了 我们去见见父母吧
Right, shall we go and meet the parents?
不好意思 是"接触先祖"
Sorry, "Encounter the progenitors".
要我说一切进展非常顺利
I'd say this is going very well.
你们好 我是亚当
Hi! I'm Adam,
这里的医生 这位是霍顿女士 主任医生
one of the doctors, and this is Ms Houghton, the consultant.
真不错啊
This is nice, isn't it?
像有个街头公告员一样
It's like having a town crier.
我叫薇琪 你们是...
My name's Vicky. You are...?
我叫贾斯敏 这位是戴夫
I'm Jasmine, and this is Dave.
很好 听说你们有小宝宝要我来接生
Lovely. I hear you've got a little something for me.
是的 三个小宝宝
Oh, erm, yeah, three little somethings.
《三只小小鸟》 记得那首歌♥吗
Three Little Birds. Do you remember that one?
拜托 你们知道的
Come on, you know it.
*三只小小鸟*
*Three little birds*
*落在我门前*
*Pitched by my doorstep*
*唱着甜美的歌♥谣*
*Singing sweet songs*
*伴着纯真的旋律*
*Of melodies pure and true*
*唱着 这是带给你的消息*
*Saying, this is a message to you-ou-ou...*
*唱着不要担心*
*Singing don't worry*
*一切都好*
*about a thing*
*因为*
*Cos...*
来啊 到你们了
Come on, you're up, guys.
*所有事情*
*E...Every little thing*
*都会平安*
*is gonna be all right...*
*清晨醒来*
*Rise up this morning...*
不瞒你们说
Yeah, I'm not going to lie,
我们不是每天都会接生三胞胎
we don't get triplets in here every day!
谢天谢地
Thank goodness.
没错 谢天谢地 我们最怕的
Yeah, thank goodness. Last thing we need's
就是婴儿衣物不够用
a world shortage of bootees and bonnets!
你们不会有事的
You're in safe hands.
我们有三次机会
I mean, we've got three goes,
所以等最后一个宝宝出来的时候
so by the time the last one's out,
我们就熟练了 对吧
we'll be great at it, won't we?
你们想好名字了吗
You got names sorted?
我们想是的
Yeah. We reckon so.
米莉 比莉和莉莉
Milly, Billie and Lily.
想出三个押韵的名字真不容易
It's difficult finding three names that rhyme.
不做评价
No comment.
你想什么时候送她去手术室
What time do you want to get her round to theatre?
现在就挺合适
Well, there's no time like the present.
要不去看看手术室准备好了没
Shall we see if the theatre's ready?
谁的吐司烤糊了
I think someone's toast's burning.
可能是在选举新教皇呢
Probably just electing a new Pope.
可不是 班尼迪克蛋教皇十五世
Yeah, Pope Eggs Benedict XV!
教皇肉馅土豆泥饼护二世
Pope Shepherd's Pius II.
Shepherd's Pie(肉馅土豆泥饼)和Pope Pius II(教皇庇护二世)混搭
Pie和Pius发音近似
"肉馅土豆泥饼护"
"Shepherd's Pius"!
-你听到了吗 -是的
- Did you hear that? - Yeah.
抱歉 我们能说回三胞胎吗
Sorry, can we get back to the triplets?
怎么 休伊 杜威和路易吗
What, Huey, Dewey and Louie?
唐老鸭的三个侄子
简直是虐待儿童
Bordering on child abuse.
前几周还有个叫"千层面"的
Had one the other week called Lasagne!
千层面
Lasagne!
好吧 我想产房♥的病人一定为
Yeah, I'm sure the patients on the labour ward
没达到你的教育水平道过歉了 凯医生
apologised for not having your level of education, Dr. Kay.
-我不是... -施卢蒂 三胞胎你来接生
- Well, I didn't... - Shruti, you're doing the triplets.
你 请去楼下急诊室
You, why don't you get yourself down to A&E,
处理一下积压的工作 好吗
see if you can clear some of the backlog?