疼痛难免（2022）

还不是有意思的那种
Not even the fun kind.
但还有哪科的医生能说
But what other doctors can say they
他们完工后病人数量
end up with twice the number of
比最开始翻倍了
patients they started with?
试试超越我们看 老年科
Beat that, geriatrics.
不过衣服账单意味着我...
Clothes bill means I'm...
大概工作没赚到多少钱
..probably running my job at a loss, though.
-洛克哈特先生 -自娱自乐呢
- Mr Lockhart. - Having fun there?
-我只是... -我不确定自己想知道
- I was just... - Yeah, I'm not entirely convinced I want to know.
不知道你有没有听说
I don't know if you heard,
刚才有一例严重的脐带脱垂
there was a massive cord prolapse before.
紧急剖腹产 90秒内就把孩子接生出来了
Crash section. Got the baby out in 90 seconds.
我听说你迟到了十分钟
I heard that you rocked up ten minutes late,
差点在维修电梯里害死一名患者
nearly killed a patient in the maintenance lift,
然后还穿着私服做了剖腹产
then did a Caesarean section in casualwear.
只是我走了捷径
It was more that I took a short cut.
医生不该走捷径 亚当
Doctors aren't meant to take short cuts, Adam.
还记得我让你当代理主治医生吗
Remember when I asked you to be an acting registrar?
你能有点主治医生的样子吗
Can you try acting like a bloody registrar?
如果你有事 我就在办公室
I'll be in my office if you need me,
但我强烈建议你别有事
which I strongly suggest you won't.
你还有点没洗干净
You've missed a bit.
小心 借过
Mind out, please, mind out.
-真的很紧急 -我知道 宝贝 但我保证
- It's really urgent! - I know, petal, but I promise you
-医生很快就来 -拉钩保证吗
- the doctor won't be long. - Pinkie promise?
拉勾上吊 谁说谎谁小狗
Pinkie promise with a little cherry on top.
不如你回到刚才的位置坐下
Why don't you head back to where you were sitting?
无病呻♥吟♥
Moany old trout.
-早 芮娅 -早 凯医生
- Morning, Ria. - Morning, Dr Kay.
-他来了 -查房♥吗 特蕾茜
- There he is! - Ward round, Trace?
我能问个私人问题吗 亲爱的
Can I ask you something personal, darling?
是"为什么你今早看起来像死了娘"
Is it, "Why do you look like shit this morning?"
我不打算用这些词
I wasn't going to ask it like that.
我昨晚睡在了车里
I slept in my car last night.
维持感情肯定很累
Well, it must be hard maintaining a relationship,
加上你的工作
what, with your job...
还有你这破性格
..and your personality.
特蕾茜是今天的主任助产士
Tracy's the head midwife on today.
我让她缝合了我姐姐的会阴
I'd let her sew up my sister's perineum...
这话听着很奇怪
..which sounds weird, now that I've said it,
但其实是我能给的最大表扬了
but it's actually the highest compliment I can give.
记住要剥掉外面那层又厚又闪的表皮
Oh, remember to remove the thick, shiny layer on the outside.
别理他 他女友恢复了理智 甩了他
Ignore him. His girlfriend's come to her senses and dumped him.
-没人甩了谁 -但如果你想抽他
- No-one's dumped anyone. - But if you do want to smack him,
我会当没看见
I will turn a blind eye.
我们能从8号♥房♥先开始吗
Do you mind if we nip to Room 8 first?
她的分娩进展很慢
She's making pretty slow progress.
下楼快速查看一下巴克星太太
Pop downstairs and review Mrs Buckstar quickly.
医生会说很多暗语 我们说"附睾睾丸炎"
Doctors speak a lot of code, so it's "epididymo-orchitis"
而不是"受伤的鸡和蛋"
rather than "gammy cock and balls".
"去检查巴克星太太"就是"去星巴克买♥♥咖啡"
"Review Mrs Buckstar," "Go to Starbucks."
巴克星太太在那间病房♥
Which ward is Mrs Buckstar in?
他想让你给他买♥♥高级咖啡 却不想让我知道
He wants you to get him a fancy coffee without me knowing.
我要加奶和一块糖
Milk and one sugar for me, please.
56条未读信息
格雷格·韦瑟比
今晚的单身派对在哪举♥行♥
我是生孩子 妈妈 不是四肢瘫痪
I'm in labour, Mother, not quadriplegic.
我是亚当 其中一位医生
Hi. I'm Adam, one of the doctors.
恐怕我有些坏消息
I'm afraid I've got some bad news.
你把"看台"拼错了
You've spelt 'pavilion' wrong.
你想吃快糖吗 亲爱的
Would you like a sweetie, dear?
医生不会因为你给他一块薄荷糖
The doctor's not going to give me better care
就给我特殊优待的
because you offer him a Murray Mint.
说实话 还真有可能
In fairness, I might, actually.
还好吗
All right?
你现在有点卡在四指不开了
You've got a little bit stuck at six centimetres,
我建议我们把催产素剂量搞大点
so I suggest we wang the dose up on the drip
帮助你宫缩
that's helping your contractions...
-"搞"是个医学术语吗 -当然是
- Is "wang" a medical term? - Sure is.
如果那还不管用 我们就...
And if that doesn't work, we'll, erm...
安娜 催产素点滴增大到84 四小时后再检查
Anna, let's put the Synto onto 84 and re-examine in four hours.
到时候就不是我了 那时我下班了
It won't be me, actually. I'll be home by then.
-真的吗 -我已经上了15小时的班
- Really? - Well, I've been here 15 hours.
如果我再待下来 政♥府♥就该收我家庭税了
If I stay any longer, they'll start charging me council tax.
-好吧 -别担心 亲爱的
- Right. - Don't worry, darling,
我来检查 至少是个你熟悉的人
I'll do it, so at least it'll be a familiar face.
能换你来检查吗 医生
Could you do the examination instead, Doctor?
其实特蕾茜来检查更好
It does make more sense for Tracy to do it.
-你在哪里上的学 -你想让我回家
- Where did you train? - Would you like me to pop home
把学业证书拿来吗
and get my degree certificates?
你真的没办法留下吗
There's no way you could stay, is there?
我不太喜欢这话的意思
I'm not sure I like where this is going.
你不是说我不能自己选择
You're not saying I can't choose
谁来给我进行私密检查吧 医生
who does intimate examinations on me, are you?
我是说你不能根据
I'm saying you won't be choosing
对方的肤色进行选择
based on the colour of their skin.
-亚当 -什么
- Adam! - What?
谁说到肤色的事了
When did anyone say anything about skin colour?
这叫患者选择权
It's called patient choice.
有选择权当然重要 就像今晚我会...
It's important to have choice, like tonight I might...
选择点披萨 而不是往清♥真♥寺投燃♥烧♥弹♥
..choose to order a pizza rather than firebomb a mosque.
我想凯医生的意思是...
I think what Dr Kay meant to say...
我是说我知道待在产房♥的压力很大
What I'm saying is, I know it's stressful being on labour ward,
但如果你们再说这种话
but anything more like this,
我就让你们出院回家
and I will have to have you removed from the building.
懂了吗
Is that understood?
好了好了 我们继续吧
OK. OK, let's crack on, shall we?
王八蛋
Wanker.
那最好是个填词游戏的答案
That had better be a crossword answer.
不 亲爱的 她说你是王八蛋
No, dear, she called you a wanker.
刚才是什么情况
What the hell was all that about?
我猜白人至上主义者也会生孩子
I guess white supremacists have babies, too.
不是她 是你
Not her. You.
-我 -我不需要白衣骑士来捍卫我
- Me? - I don't need a white knight to defend my honour.
等等 我是主治医生
Hang on. I'm the registrar.
代理主治医生
Acting registrar.
我是这里资历最老的医生
I'm the most senior doctor here.
直到资历更老的人出现
Until somebody more senior turns up.
反正现在产房♥归我管
Well, I'm running this ward now,
-所以我能决定... -不 产房♥归我管 小子
- and it's up to me... - No, I'm running this ward, young man,
而且我完全能保护自己
and I'm more than capable of handling myself,
如果我应付不了
and the moment that I can't,
会求助别人
I'll let somebody know,
我不想扫兴 但那人不是你
and I don't want to spoil the surprise - it won't be you.
还有 别说你要把病人赶走
And don't tell the patients that you're kicking them out.
这里是公立医院 不是你的高尔夫俱乐部
This is the NHS, not your golf club.
我们要把哪间房♥的病人赶回家
Which room are we kicking out?
新信息
格雷格
今晚什么安排
不是 我们没要赶走谁 贝琳达
No, we're not kicking anybody out, Benilda.
她们都要生了
They're all in labour,
所以我们想等她们生完再赶走
so we thought we might wait until they had their babies.
新信息
格雷格
说真的 给我回电
那就继续吧
Well, get a move on.
现在医院的床位已经到红色警告了
The hospital's on red alert for beds.
而且就快要到黑色警告了
We're actually more than halfway to black alert.
那就是暗紫红警告
So, like, dusky-merlot alert.
你能去妇科吗
Can you, er, go to gynae?
17床的女士可以出院了
The lady in bed 17's fit for home.
我正在查房♥
I'm actually in the middle of a ward round.
不过我可以挤时间去看看