英村脑残故事（2017）

研究表明 英国农村的年轻人依然感觉到边缘化和弱势
为更深入了解这一问题
英国广播公♥司♥重新回到典型的科兹沃尔德村庄
去探寻那里人们的生活有何改变
L-E-N spells Len, not Arthur,
L E N拼作Len 不是Arthur
so what's my bloody bin doing in front of your bloody house?
所以我他妈的垃圾桶在你♥他♥妈♥的屋子前面干嘛
I ain't moved your bin! You moved my bin!
我没移过你的垃圾桶 你移了我的
My bin's outside your house.
我的垃圾桶在你家门外
Basically, grumpy old Len's having a fight with angry Arthur
基本是这么回事 老爆脾气Len在和愤怒的Arthur吵架
because they've both accused each other of stealing the other one's recycling bin.
因为他们俩互相指责对方偷了垃圾回收桶
We swapped them over. We do it every bin day and wind them up.
我们互换了它们 每次收垃圾的日子我们都这么干 拿他们开心
Who's your money on? Len's a fucking unit.
你赌谁会赢 Len可壮实了
You don't wash your windows! Ooh!
你不擦自家窗户 喔
You don't wash your bloody trousers!
你♥他♥妈♥的不洗自己的裤子
Did you hear that? Drop him, Len!
你听见了没 干倒他 Len
What are you doing? Are you going to take that from him, mate?
你在干什么 你能接受他那么说你吗 老哥
He's bang out of order!
他说话太过头了
Don't you bloody dare, mate. Don't you dare!
你♥他♥妈♥的敢 哥们 你倒是敢
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Len! Len! Don't you dare!
哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 Len Len 你敢
Len! Len! Len! No, put the brick down, you fucking psychopath.
Len Len Len 别 放下砖头 你个他妈的精神病
What, or what? You want a bricking, as well?
咋的 要不咋的 你也想挨一砖吗
No, I don't...
不 我不想
The vicar text me earlier
牧师先前给我发短♥信♥
saying he wants to see us both in his office,
说他想在办公室里见我俩
but he didn't say what about.
但他没说为了什么
When I asked him, he just said "Come to my office now,"
我问他时 他只是说"现在就来我的办公室"
which means we're in the fucking shit
那意味着我们麻烦大了
because we're always in fucking shit.
因为我们总是麻烦不断
Yeah, but what have we actually done that was bad
是啊 但我们在过去的三周里
in the last three weeks, though?
真干过什么坏事吗
Don't say Len and Arthur and the bins
别说Len和Arthur和垃圾桶的事儿
because they was going for each other anyway.
因为反正他俩都总要吵起来
We did give the vicar the wrong change
我们确实找错钱给牧师了
when he gave us 10 quid to go and get printer paper from the shop.
他给了我们10镑去店里买♥♥打印纸
Yeah, but that was basically our commission.
是啊 但那基本上也算是我们的跑腿费
And we did burn Slugs's nipples on the radiator.
还有我们确实用暖气片烫伤了Slug的奶头
Yeah, but that was for science. Yeah. That was for science.
是啊 但那是为了科学研究 是啊 那是为了科学
Well, thank you both for coming in today.
感谢你们俩今天能来
I really, really appreciate it.
我真的 真的很感激
Look, if you're going to bollock us, save yourself the waffle, just get to it.
听着 如果你打算训我们 省的废话了 直奔主题吧
What do you mean? You're going to have a go at us.
你是什么意思 我准备要朝我们发火
Yeah. Well, no, I'm not. No.
是的 呃 不 我没打算 不是的
I called you in today because I have some news. What?
我今天叫你们来是因为我有一些消息 什么
The tadpoles have spawned in the parish pond
教区的池塘里繁育出了蝌蚪
and they are absolutely thriving.
而且它们生机蓬勃
That's great.
那真好
That is wonderful news. Yes! Yes!
那是个很棒的消息 是的 是的
And, you know, all that the de-weeding you did last week
而且 你知道 上周你们除的那些杂草
really helped to oxygenate the pond.
真的对池塘增氧很有帮助
So, thank you, Kurtan and Kerry.
所以谢谢你们 Kurtan和Kerry
Well done, mate. Well done.
干得好 哥们 干得好
Um, no. Just a sec.
呃 不 稍等
I just have one other thing to discuss with you.
我还有另外一件事要和你们商量
Oh, my... Hear me out. Well, I'm just...
哦 我的 听我说完 我只是
I'm going to be bit busy this week, so I'm going to need you to do me a favour
我这周会比较忙一些 所以我需要你们帮我一个忙
and take over Tea Talk for me with Florence.
接手一下与Florence的茶叙
No way. Oh, no. I, well
没门 哦 不 我那啥
I'm actually going fishing anyway, so I can't do it,
我无论如何都要去钓鱼的 所以我没法去
but the chat that gets spouted out at Tea Talk it's just,
但那些在茶叙时扯的闲话 那真是
99% of it, unfiltered guff.
百分之九十九 是不过脑子的废话
That's not true. It is true.
不是这样的 就是这样的
Tea Talk is a scheme I've been running
茶叙是一个近几年来
for the last couple of years.
我一直在实施的计谋
Some of the older residents
一些年纪较大的居民
like to talk. A lot.
喜欢说话 说很多话
But because they live alone and can't get about as much,
但因为他们独自生活 也不太能多走动
they have no-one to talk to.
他们找不到人说话
So, once a week, I'll pop in and see them in their homes
所以 每周一次 我会上门拜访他们
and we'll have a good old chinwag
然后我们会好好的聊聊天
over a cup of tea and a slice of cake.
喝上一杯茶 吃上一片蛋糕
Seeing as you live across the road from Florence,
考虑到你就住在Florence家马路对面
would you be able to do it? No, no, no, no.
你能做到吗 不 不 不 不
I'll give you 5 pounds.
我会给你5英镑
20 quid.
20镑
10. 15?
10 15
I shouldn't be paying you at all. 10 is fine.
我根本不该给你钱的 10镑可以
OK. Excellent. Thank you. Thank you, Kerry. Great.
好的 很不错 谢谢 谢谢你 Kerry 很棒
What makes you so busy anyway?
你到底要忙什么啊
Yeah? Busy bee. Busy bee.
是啊 大忙人儿 大忙人儿
Well, actually, I'm picking up my son
实际上 我要接我的儿子
who's coming to stay for a while.
他要过来待上一段时间
Son?
儿子
You don't have a son, do you?
你没儿子的 是吧
Yes, I do. Why?
是啊 我有 怎么
You have a son? I've always had a son.
你有个儿子吗 我一直有的
I talk about him all the time.
我一直谈论他的事情的
Really? You know that. Jacob.
真的吗 你知道的 Jacob
Jacob! He's your son? I thought that was his dog.
Jacob 他是你儿子吗 我以为那是他的狗
So did I. No! He's my son. He's not my dog.
我也以为 不 他是我的儿子 不是我的狗
Yes, my son's Jacob's coming to stay,
是的 我的儿子Jacob要来待一阵
which I'm really looking forward to.
我真的很期待的
He's been living in Bristol for the last few years since he left university.
自从他离开大学之后 近几年他一直住在布里斯托
I've really missed him. I've been... A-ha!
我真的很想他 我 啊哈哈
I know it's not cool to say this,
我知道这样说不酷
but I've been very excited about you coming.
但我对你到来感到很激动
Yeah, well, good. Good to be here.
是啊 好吧 来到这儿很好
Yeah.
好吧
It's nice to see it again.
再次看到这儿很不错
It's been a while since I've been here.
距我上次来这儿已经有段时间了
I don't think you realise what a place is like
我觉得你不会意识到一个地方是什么样的
until you leave it and you come back, you know.
直到你离开后再回来 你懂的
I don't know, it's a bit weird, isn't it?
我不知道 这有点儿怪 是吧
It reminds me of the Wicker Man. I don't really know why.
这让我想起了<异教♥徒♥> 我不太清楚为什么
A bit weird. A little bit harsh.
有点诡异 这话有点伤人
Well, it's just what I think.
只是我的想法而已
You'll put people off.
你会招人厌的
I like to think there's a
我觉得村里
bit more kindness in the village than that. I dunno.
还是要比那个更友善点 我不知道
It's all right... We're not burning people.
没事的 我们不烧活人的
Well...
好吧
I've been dreading this.
我一直在怕这个
It's just been hanging over my head the whole day.
这一整天都在我脑子里挥之不去
There's a reason no-one wants to talk to these old fuckers.
没人想和这些老东西说话是有原因的
Because they're fucking boring.
因为他们太他妈无聊了
Well, what I'm going to do is I'm going to knock on the door,
呃 我打算做的是我敲下门
leave it five seconds,
等个5秒钟
and if she doesn't come, at least I've tried.
如果她不来 那至少我尝试过了
One, two, three, four...
一 二 三 四
Hello, Kerry. Are you here for the Tea Talk? Yeah.
你好 Kerry 你是来茶叙的吗 是的
Come on in. Fine.
快进来吧 好吧
OK. Can I take your coat?
好了 我来拿你的外套好吗
Huh? Hmm...
好吗 嗯
Got rods out now.
把鱼竿拿出来了
Lines in. Now it's just a waiting game, really.
鱼线放好 现在就只要等着了
Kurtan! All right, vicar?
Kurtan 你好吗 牧师
Fucking hell, what's he wearing them trousers for?
我去他的 他穿那种裤子干什么
Christ! I can see the crease between his bollocks!
天那 我能看到他卵蛋之间的凹痕
Fucking huge, them bollocks!
真♥他♥妈♥巨大 那对卵蛋
All right? Yeah. This is my son Jacob.
好啊 还好 这是我的儿子 Jacob
Hello, mate. This is Kurtan.
你好 哥们 我是Kurtan
Nice to meet you. Jacob just arrived this morning.
很高兴见到你 Jacob今早刚到
I thought we'd go for a walk and see how you're getting on. Yeah.
我想着我们散个步 来看看你怎么样 好