英村脑残故事（2017）

研究表明 英国农村的年轻人依然感觉到边缘化和弱势
为更深入了解这一问题
英国广播公♥司♥重新回到典型的科兹沃尔德村庄
去探寻那里人们的生活有何改变
尽管科技日新月异 在农村地区生活的人们要建立情感关系依然是个大难题
研究表明 失恋往往是青少年人群引发精神压力的重要因素之一
You see this house here?
你看到这栋房♥子了吗
There.
那边
The bloke that used to live in there, right,
那个男的以前就住在这里 对吧
kept hearing strange noises coming out of his attic at night.
他以前晚上一直能听到他阁楼里有奇怪的声音
And he'd go to the fridge
然后他就走到冰箱那里
and find that food was missing from the fridge.
发现冰箱里的食物不见了
So he thought,
所以他就想
"I'm just going to go up to the attic and check this out."
"我只要到阁楼上去 看看什么情况"
And he found an entire family of Peruvian panpipe buskers
结果他发现一整家秘鲁的排箫艺人
just living up there.
已经住在他家了
And he thought, "I'm just going to leave them to it,
然后他想 "我就让他们住着吧"
"Cos they're not really doing me any harm."
"反正他们也没给我添麻烦"
And then, a few years later, he thought,
然后 几年以后 他想
"Well, I'll just go up to the attic to check on them."
"好吧 我要去阁楼上看看他们"
"See if they're all right."
"看看他们过得怎么样"
And it turned out they'd all died of asbestos poisoning.
结果发现他们一家都石棉中毒死了
Yeah, he doesn't live there any more.
所以 他现在已经不住在那里了
He lives in Stroud, cos it's closer to his work.
他现在住在斯特劳德郡 因为那离他上班的地方近一点
Loads has happened, hasn't it?
发生了许多事 是吧
Loads has happened since you've last been here.
距你们上次来发生了很多事情
You missed so much. Er...
你们错过了很多事 呃
You missed the duck race. The duck race.
你错过了赶鸭子比赛 赶鸭子比赛
Vicar fucked that one up, didn't he?
牧师那次彻底搞砸了 是吧
Absolutely fucked it. Fucking hell.
完完全全搞砸了 简直了
Kurtan's got a new girlfriend, haven't you?
Kurtan找了个新女朋友 是吧
Yeah, I have, actually.
是 我确实找了个
Called Sophie Elizabeth Huxley.
她名字叫 Sophie Elizabeth Huxley
But I call her Soph.
但我叫她Soph
Yeah, and she also lets me call her Soph, as well, doesn't she?
是啊 她也让我叫她Soph 对吧
Yeah, she does.
没错
Well, I was on Tinder for a bit.
我之前用了段时间Tinder
But I wasn't getting any matches, so... You didn't get one match.
但是我没几个配对成功的 你是一个都没有
Yeah. Not one match.
没错 一个都没有
That's only cos no-one round here is on Tinder,
那是因为这里没人用Tinder
so, you know, I had to keep setting my radius further and further
所以 我只能把我的范围设置的越来越远
and further, then the radius got to France.
越来越远 然后设置到了法国
And it just got silly by the end. You know.
结果就很蠢 你知道的
I can't afford to be going back and forth on the tunnel every other weekend
我没钱每隔一周末就往返英吉利海峡
to take some French frog out bowling.
就为了能跟一些法国妞出去打保龄球
No way. You know...
不可能的 确实不可能
So, then, one evening, I was on Facebook and it popped up,
然后 有天晚上我在看脸书 然后弹出来
"People you might know."
"你可能认识的人"
Yeah, so he messaged every girl on there,
没错 然后他私信了上面的所有女生
saying, "Hey, what is your spirit animal?"
问她们 "嘿 你的灵魂动物是什么"
Icebreaker. Icebreaker.
专用套路 专用套路
And then Soph was actually the first one to reply, saying,
然后Soph是第一个回复的 她说
"Giraffe, what about you?"
"我的是长颈鹿 你呢"
And I said, "Whatever animal has sex with a giraffe."
然后我说 "只要是和长颈鹿性♥交♥的动物就是我的灵魂动物"
And she found it a laugh. Yeah.
她觉得很搞笑 对
A lot of girls don't find that a laugh, though.
很多女孩子不觉得搞笑
Especially if their spirit animal was a hamster or their dead nan. Yeah.
尤其是那些本命动物是仓鼠或者她们去世的奶奶 是的
I just decided to sack off college altogether, in the end.
我最近决定不上大学了
Especially now I got Soph.
尤其是我现在有了Soph
To be honest, didn't really want to go in the first place,
说实话 我一开始就不想去
but the vicar was just trying to push me into it.
但是牧师一直逼我去
Basically, just trying to live his dream to me.
基本上 他就是把他自己的梦想强加在我身上
Anyway, he's latched onto Kerry now.
不管怎样 他现在缠上Kerry了
And he's leeching the life out of her.
他现在在压榨她的生活
She can't see how toxic he is.
她还不知道他有多毒
So, the trick is to just get the trowel in like that.
诀窍是要把泥铲这样子铲下去
It's been an interesting few months, actually.
实际上这几个月很有趣
I've been spending a lot more time with Kerry, which is great.
我最近和Kerry相处的时间变多了 这样还蛮不错
She's come on leaps and bounds,
她在对于生活的见解上
with regard to her outlook on life.
有了质的飞跃
Oh, who's been nicking after them runners?
噢 是谁把这些植物弄成这样的
They're absolutely fucked. Sorry for saying...
太操蛋了 不好意思爆了粗口
Cos I've changed massively since you've been here last.
自从你上次来这里 我已经变了很多
Cos I've reformed myself.
我整个人都改头换面了
Cos I've been hanging out with the vicar and that,
我最近一直和牧师呆在一起
and he's sort of taught me the way of the world.
他大概教了我点处世之道
Like, how to be kind to others
比如 如何友善待人
and treat people the way I always want to be treated.
以自己希望被对待的方式对待他人
This is marvellous. It's lovely, isn't it?
太了不起了 太可爱了 是吧
Some people will always be scared of me,
有些人永远都会怕我
and I can't change that, no matter how nice I am.
这个我没办法改变 不管我变得多好
But there is a balance to be had
但是在待人友善和被人恐惧之间
between being nice and being feared.
可以获得一个平衡
Like, Dr Barnardo, he was just too nice and not feared.
比如Barnardo医生 他就是人太好了 不会怕他
So he just got overrun by orphans
所以他收养的孤儿泛滥成灾
and everyone just took the piss.
结果大家都嘲笑他
Yes! Yes, that's what I'm talking about!
没错 没错 这就是我想说的
Just a bit less power, now. Well, exactly. You got it.
现在稍微轻一点使劲 没错 你掌握了
If I meet it in the middle, then I'll get there.
如果杆和球在中间相遇 球就能过去了
What's this? Oh, all right?
这是什么 噢你来了
We're just playing a bit of golf. Why?
我们就在打打高尔夫 为什么要打
Cos it's fun.
因为好玩
That was mental, though, wasn't it?
这球好的不可思议吧 是吧
That was very good, indeed.
确实很不错
Kurtan, it's so good to see you!
Kurtan 很高兴见到你
Vicar, Sophie, Sophie, vicar.
牧师 这是Sophie Sophie 这是牧师
Hi, Sophie, lovely to meet you at last.
嗨 Sophie 很高兴遇到你 终于见面了
It's lovely to meet you, too, Vicar.
我也是 牧师
So, how are you?
最近如何
Good. Yeah, pretty good.
还不错 对 挺好的
Probably the best I've been in a long time...
可能是我这段时间状态最好的时候
Look at that! Look at that! That's brilliant.
看这球 看这球 那太好了
I'm so happy for you both.
太为你们俩开心了
Kurtan's always was going on about you, Vicar. No, is he?
Kurtan总是提到你 牧师 真的假的
That's not... You know, Kurtan, you can pop in any time
不是这样 Kurtan你随时都可以来的
to see me for a cup of tea and a catch-up.
跟我来喝喝茶 顺便叙叙旧
Don't really like tea. Well, just a catch up, then.
不是很喜欢喝茶 好吧 那就叙叙旧
Don't really like catching up. It's not my thing.
也不太喜欢叙旧 这不是我的风格
Well, I'm running Secret Cinema Club on Thursday,
好吧 礼拜四我要举办一个秘密电影俱乐部
if you two wanted to come.
希望你们也能来
We're doing Grease. It should be fun.
我们要看<油脂> 应该会挺有趣
Oh, I love Grease. Oh, so do I.
噢 我超爱看<油脂> 我也是
That's my favourite... Yeah, we'd love to.
那是我最喜欢的 我们会来的
Oh, would you? That would be great.
噢 真的吗 那就太好了
Well, you should definitely come.
你们一定要来
Yeah, we will. Yeah, fine. Whatever.
好啊 我们会来的 好吧 随便吧
Great! All right. Yeah. So nice to meet you.
太好了 好吧 非常高兴见到你
And you, Sophie. That's great.
我也是 太棒了
But if you want to pop in before then,
如果你想在礼拜四之前来坐坐
Kurtan, you know where I am.
Kurtan 你知道我在哪里
Yeah.
没错
Sticking your nose in everyone's business.
你怎么什么都插一脚
But he seems really nice!
他看起来人很好啊
Yeah, cos he's a sociopath.
当然 因为他反♥社♥会♥啊
That's what they all want you to think.
这是他们给你的假象
It's all just an act.
都是演技
I just watched this video
我刚刚看了油管上的一个视频
of this girl doing a random act of kindness on YouTube.
一个女孩做一些不经意的善举
She basically paid for this old man's shopping at the till.
她基本上帮一个老头在结账台买♥♥了全部的单
And this old man was, like, about 90 years old.
这个老头 大概 九十岁了
And he's so fucking old, like, you could see through his skin.
他太他妈老了 老到皮包骨
And he just starts bawling his eyes out.
然后他就开始大叫 叫得眼睛都要掉出来了
He's like, "You're fucking joking me, this ain't fucking real life."
他喊道 "你♥他♥妈♥在逗我 这他妈不是现实生活"