英村脑残故事（2017）

You know that night's the most dangerous time, right?
你知道晚上是最危险的时候吧
Night-time was when I did all my business.
我专门在晚上跟踪
Who... Who was it that you did stalk?
你那时是在跟踪谁
I could... I'm not allowed to say who it actually is,
我不能 我不能告诉你
but I can tell you that it was a member of S Club 7
但我能告诉你是七小龙乐队里的成员
but I can't tell you which one. Really?
但我不能告诉你是谁 真的吗
Was it Bradley?
是Bradley吗
Bradley? No.
Bradley吗 不是
Paul? No.
Paul 不是
Jon's the other one. No.
Jon吗 不是
Tina?
Tina
No.
不是
Jo? No.
Jo吗 不是
Rachel Stevens. No.
Rachel Stevens 不是
Hannah Spearritt?
Hannah Spearritt
Yeah, go on, my son. - Wahey, there we go.
好样的 继续喝 小伙子 Wahey 我们来喝
Fucking shots! Yeah, let's do shots, come on! No...!
我们来怼烈的 来啊 我们再来几杯 不行
I don't know, mate.
我也不确定 伙计
Come on, John. Get the shots out.
别怂啊 John 喝完啊
Dan, you'll have a shot!
Dan 你再来一杯
I don't know, maybe I will, maybe I won't.
我也不知道 可能我 还是算了吧
Come on! Maybe...
别这样啊 再说吧
Do a shot! He's doing it now, isn't he?
再来一杯啊 他不是在喝吗
Come on, you big, bald fanny, do a shot!
别怂啊 你这个秃顶大怂逼 再来一杯
Come on.
来啊
I don't mind getting them in. Honestly. You'll do one.
我不介意他们来 真的 只要你再来一杯
Yeah?
是吗
How about one down the social, yeah? Absolutely, mate, yeah.
要不我们去那边的联谊会吧 没问题 伙计 走吧
Let's do it now. Where you going? Social?
现在走吧 你们去哪里 联谊吗
Cheers, John, mate. Yeah. See you, John.
先走了 John 没错 回头见 John
All right, see you... See you tomorrow, lads. Yeah, yeah.
好吧 再见 明天见 伙计们 再见 再见
Oh... Fuck.
噢 操
Rack 'em up, then, John.
酒再满上 John
Fuckin' hell.
他妈的
Quickly, mate!
快点 伙计
Yeah.
好的
Fuck, what a night, tonight.
操 今天晚上简直了
Pint to pint with Martin Mucklowe.
和Martin Mucklowe拼酒
Absolutely battered last night.
昨天晚上完全喝醉了
Can't wait for a debrief with the lads, as well.
迫不及待想和那帮朋友聊聊昨天晚上
Cor! Last night was a random one, wasn't it?!
Cor 昨天晚上太疯狂了 是吧
Cor.
Cor
Checked my phone this morning,
今天早上看了看我的手♥机♥
only text my ex about six times last night!
昨天晚上只给我前任发了六条短♥信♥
One of... One of them was
其中一条 其中一条是
a video of me crying for about 10 minutes.
其中一条是我哭了大概十分钟的视频
What a numpty.
我太傻♥逼♥了
Can't even remember getting home, either.
我甚至都不记得怎么回的家了
So, you're not fit for work, then?
看来你现在没办法工作是吧
Well... We were all drinking last night.
我们昨天在一起喝了酒
Ain't we all a bit worse for wear? No.
我们多少有点累吧 不累
I can metabolise a pint in five minutes.
以我新陈代谢的能力 1品脱酒只要五分钟
Dan in seven.
Dan七分钟
You, on the other hand,
至于你
were taking the piss out of me and my site,
一直在贬低我和我的工地
and I've got two words for you, eh, Dan?
我只有两个字给你 来 Dan
See ya. Yeah. See ya.
再见 是的 再见
What are you on about?
你在说什么
I don't work with clowns, I only work with kings.
我不和小丑一起工作 我只和国王一起工作
What, y-you're... You're sacking me?
什么 你 你要解雇我吗
What have I done? I haven't done anything wrong.
我做什么了 我没做错什么啊
What have I done wrong? Well...
我做错什么了 这个嘛
Is this about me calling you a big, bald fanny last night?
是因为我昨晚叫你秃顶大怂逼吗
Cos the atmosphere just totally changed after that.
因为我说完后气氛立马不对了
Yeah, well, to be fair, mate,
呃 说良心话 兄弟
it was bang out of order, wasn't it? Oh, my...
那话是有些过分了 不是吗 哦
I knew it was. That... Do you know how sad that is?
我就知道 你知道这有多悲哀吗
That is so, actually, sad, that makes me so sad for you,
这真是 真的悲哀 我为你感到悲哀
that you can't take a joke.
居然连个玩笑话都忍♥不了
That was just a joke, and you're sacking me for making a joke.
那只是开个玩笑 你却因为我开玩笑解雇我
That is... What am I going to do for work?
真是 我的工作怎么办
Go to joke school.
去个笑话学校
Well, if I need to go to joke school,
如果我要去笑话学校
you need to go back to shagging school, then, mate.
你就得去性♥交♥学校了 兄弟
What do you mean? Yeah.
你什么意思 哼
I overheard your Sandra in the post office,
我无意中听到你和Sandra在邮局
saying, yeah, you might have a big knob,
说 是 你也许是有个大屌♥
but you don't know what the bloody hell to do with it.
但你不知道该拿它怎么办
Right, that's it, you get off the site now. I'm going, mate. I'm going.
好了 够了 你现在马上离开 我走了 兄弟 走了
All the gear, no idea.
家伙再好 不会用也白搭
I will not miss working for Martin Mucklowe.
我绝对不会怀念和Martin Mucklowe共事的日子
He is a disturbed individual.
他这人有毛病
Did you hear him say he got tossed off by his mother-in-law?
你听说过他被他岳母摸了个三两下就射了的事吗
She's 86.
她可86岁了
I'd rather shag Kerry's mum...
我宁愿干Kerry妈
..And to think, he's done 'em both.
话说回来 他两个都干过了
Yes!
太好了
Bakers...
面包师
Someone's here!
有人来了
Are you all right?
你没事吧
You was lucky. Yeah.
算你走运 嗯
Are you all right?
你还好吧
Yeah.
嗯
How was work?
工作怎么样
Oh, shit. I got sacked. Why?
哦操 我被解雇了 为什么
I really can't be arsed explaining about it now.
我现在真的不想解释
What are you playing?
你们在玩什么
Happy Families.
快乐家庭
Can I play?
我能玩吗
Yeah, I've pretty much won this round, anyway.
可以 反正这盘我已经要赢了
What's the rules, again?
规则是什么来着
Mandy makes up the rules each... I don't make 'em up.
Mandy制定规则 每个 不是我编的
No. That's what they are.
当然 规则本来就是这样
Yeah.
对
Two goes for the eldest... Yeah
年长的拿双倍 哦
Yeah.
哦
Which is Mandy.
也就是Mandy
Two cards one, one, two.
两张牌 一张 一张 两张
One, one, two.
一 一 二
One, one, two.
一 一 二
One, one, two.
一 一 二
One, one, two...
一 一 二
Ooh, it's another letter!
哦 另一封信来了
This is it! Right!
就是这个 没错
Get back.
退后
Here he is. Dan?!
他来了 Dan
How are you doing, mate? What the fuck?!
你好 兄弟 什么情况
Sit down! I'm not... All right! Christ!
坐下 我是不会 好吧 天啊
I was just coming by
我只是顺路过来
to give Kurtan the recipe for my Victoria sponge,
把果酱夹层蛋糕的配方给Kurtan
because I know how much he likes it.
因为我知道他超爱这个
What's this letter, then?
那这封信是什么
That's not... That's just... I mean...
那不是 那只是 我是说
"Dear Kerry, today I fantasised"
"亲爱的Kerry 今天我幻想"
"That you were dressed as Miss Trunchbull from Matilda,"
"你穿成音乐剧<玛蒂尔达>里Trunchbull小姐的样子"
"And you were trying out some new boxing gloves,"
"试戴着一些新款拳击手套"
"And you didn't have a punchbag,"
"你没有沙袋"
"So I let you try them out on my balls."
"所以我让你拿我的蛋蛋练手"
Fuck's sake!
去他妈的
This some sort of wankfest for you, is it?
这就是你的意淫 对吗