英村脑残故事（2017）

请你坐到后排去 好吗 快点
Vicar!
牧师
Vicar!
牧师
Vicar, oi!
牧师 喂
What is it, Len? You can't be driving on here.
怎么了 Len 你不能在这开车
Yes, I know, but actually, if you can see...
是的 我知道 但实际上 要是你看一下
You can't be driving on here, Vicar.
你不能在这开车 牧师
Yes, I'm aware of that, Len, but it's an emergency.
是的 我知道的 Len 但这是紧急事故
Well, emergency or no emergency,
不管是不是紧急事故
old Graham's not going to be happy, you see his tarmac...
老Graham不会高兴的 你看他的草坪
Oh, for goodness' sake, Len, just move on!
哦 老天爷啊 Len 别纠结了
Excuse me. Mind yourself.
抱歉 当心点
I can't believe you shouted at Len!
我不敢相信你吼了Len
Yes, well...
是啊 这个
That was brutal!
太残暴酷炫了
He looked like he was going to cry.
他看上去都快哭出来了
OK, take it slowly, Kerry. You're doing really well.
好了 慢点 Kerry 你做得很好
There we are.
我们到了
OK, all right, just...
好了 好了 就
..Just a few more.
还只有几步
Hello, somebody been in the wars?
你好 有人从战场上回来了么
Yeah, me.
是啊 我
OK, can I take your name, love?
好 让我记下你的名字 亲爱的
Kerry Mucklowe.
Kerry Mucklowe
Kerry... And how are we spelling that?
Kerry 姓怎么拼写的
M-u-c-k-l-o-w-e.
M U C K L O W E
OK. And what's the symptoms, what's the matter?
好的 有什么症状吗 哪儿不舒服
Um, I basically smashed my leg to smithereens.
呃 简单地说 我的腿被撞了个粉碎
Well, maybe, we don't know yet.
可能吧 我们还不清楚
I can't feel it. It's just from about there to about there.
我感觉不到腿了 大概从那里到那里
And it's completely swollen as well.
还肿得厉害
It might be a fracture, but we don't...
可能骨折了 但我们不
All right, if you want to go and take a seat in the waiting room, love,
好的 如果你能去候诊室坐会 亲爱的
we'll get someone to come and see you as soon as we can.
我们会尽快安排人给你看伤的
OK, thank you. Thank you. Now, take it slowly, Kerry.
好的 谢谢 谢谢 慢慢走 Kerry
That's it. There we go.
对了 这样就对了
Yeah, how soon do you think that will be?
你觉得会要多久
What, till she's seen? Well, we'll go as quick as we can,
什么 直到她看完吗 我们会尽快的
so it will depend how many people are in there and, you know,
所以这取决于候诊室里有多少人了
we will put the urgent cases, they will take priority.
我们会优先处理紧急的伤病
So roughly...?
所以大概是
As soon as we can, my love, all right? All right, yep.
尽我们所能 亲爱的 好吗 好 好
Yeah, nice...
太好了
Gareth Williams, please?
下一位 Gareth Williams
So, um...
嗯
Why?
为什么
What's that mean?
什么意思啊
So, will you get in trouble?
那你会惹上麻烦是吗
But it did happen at football training.
但我确实是在练足球的时候受伤的啊
So you want me to lie?
所以你想叫我撒谎吗
What do you think God will think about that?
你觉得上帝会怎么想
No, he won't. He won't.
不 他不会 他不会
Ugh! Fine.
啊 好吧
But when I lie in future,
但我以后要是说谎了
I don't want a massive lecture on how bad lying is,
你别对我一通说教 说谎怎么怎么不好什么的
cos deep down, you're the worst of us all, mate.
因为事实上 你才是最差劲的那个 朋友
Fine, fine. Yep?
好吧 好吧 嗯
Right, I've got to check on the parking.
好吧 我得去找个地方停车
OK. Sorry.
好的 抱歉
Stay there, it's all right.
坐着吧 没关系的
Just one thing.
我有件事
Just so you know - the clock is ticking
只是让你知道下 秒针在走着呢
and the best bargains are probably being snapped up as we speak.
我们说话的这会儿 最好的货可能都被抢走了
TK Maxx.
TK Maxx
Kurtan, I'm really sorry, I...
Kurtan 真是对不起 我
...I can't think about that right now.
我现在无法思考这件事
We've got to just concentrate on Kerry.
我们得专心陪着Kerry
We've got to look after her,
我们需要照顾好她
we've got to stay with her... I know.
我们需要陪在她旁边 知道了
I asked you about going to TK Maxx before she got...
我早就问过你去TK Maxx的事了 在她
I've got to do the parking meter, all right?
我得去按下停车计时器 好吗
Can we... Can we just have this conversation a bit later?
我们能 我们能晚点再谈这件事吗
Will you look after Kerry?
你可以照顾下Kerry吗
See if she needs a drink or something.
问问她想不想喝饮料什么的
Right? Sorry...
好吗 抱歉了
I'd quite like a Coke.
我很想喝个可乐
If that's all right.
要是可以的话
I do enjoy spending time with Kerry and Kurtan,
和Kerry跟Kurtan在一起挺开心的
although sometimes they do act a little bit younger than their years,
虽然有时候他们的举止有些孩子气
and that can be... challenging.
而那真是 富有挑战性
You have a signal in here? What?
你手♥机♥有信♥号♥♥吗 啥
You have a signal in here? Why, who are you calling?
你手♥机♥有信♥号♥♥吗 干嘛 你要给谁打电♥话♥
Levi. Why?
Levi 为什么
All right, Levi?
喂 Levi
You'll never guess where I am.
你永远猜不到我在哪
Hospital, yeah.
医院啊
Basically smashed my leg to fuck.
基本上他妈的把腿给摔断了
No, I'm just waiting for an X-ray,
不 我还在等做X光
but fuck knows what the doctor's going to be able to do.
但鬼知道医生能做些什么
Yeah.
是啊
It's going to be like gluing a breadstick back together, because...
会像用胶水把面包棍粘回到一起去 因为
...Like, as if a breadstick's been in a blender and it's all...
就好像面包棍被扔进了搅拌机 它全都
...The pieces smashed up.
每一片都给搅碎了
Yeah.
是啊
Yeah, spread the word, won't you, yeah?
快去告诉大家 行不
All right, cheers, mate. See you.
好的 再见 拜拜
All right, Fries? You'll never guess where I am.
喂 Fries 你永远猜不到我在哪
Hospital, yeah.
医院啊
Yeah, I basically just smashed my leg to fuck.
基本上他妈的把腿给摔断了
Yeah, well, I'm just waiting for an X-ray,
是啊 我还在等做X光
but fuck knows what the doctor's going to be able to do about it.
但鬼知道医生能做些什么
Yeah.
是啊
It's going to be like gluing back a breadstick
会像把扔进搅拌机里的面包棍
after it's been in a blender, innit?
用胶水粘回到一起去 是吧
Yeah.
对啊
All right, you spread the word for me, yeah?
好吧 你能帮我告诉大家吗
All right, cheers, mate.
好的 再见
Yeah, see you. Bye.
再见 拜拜
The trouble with my lifestyle is, I pick up a lot of injuries.
我的生活障碍是 我老是受伤
But I use that to my advantage.
但我利用它来发挥我的长处
Like, there's one time I started a fight club in the village hall,
比如有次我在我们村礼堂里办了个搏击俱乐部
and I got a black eye from beating myself up.
我给自己打了个乌眼青
But it made my enemies think,
但我对手看了心想
"Fuck, if she can do that to herself,"
"操 要是她对自己下手都这么狠"
"What the fuck can she do to me?"
"他妈的对我会做出什么啊"
It's an absolute nightmare, there's literally no parking spaces.
真是一场噩梦 几乎连个停车位都找不到
I've been driving round for the last 20 minutes,
我转来转去开了有20分钟
had to leave it in a disabled parking bay.
最后不得不停在残疾人停车位里
Um, have you, er, have you been seen yet?
你 你看过医生了吗
No. Have they asked you any questions?
没呢 他们问你什么问题了吗
Oh, chill out, I'm not going to rat you out
别紧张 我不会出♥卖♥♥♥你
for not having any insurance! Sh, sh, sh, sh!
说你没有保险的 嘘 嘘
Right, right, OK, I'm going to move the car. Back in a sec.
好 好 我去挪下车 一会就回来
His arsehole's like that.
他的屁♥眼♥就像这样
Yeah, it is.
是啊
All right, Big Job?
喂 Big Job(一票大的)
Yeah, you'll never guess where I am.
你永远猜不到我在哪
Hospital.
医院
Oh, you heard?
你听说了
Yeah, I just absolutely smashed my leg to fuck... Oh, fuck off!
我肯定他妈的把腿给摔断了 去他妈的
Well, I don't know, I think I've...