拉字至上：Q世代

I-I kind of have to confess something.
好
Okay.
那晚我拿你的手♥机♥
The other night, I took your phone
是想翻你的信息
and I was trying to look through your texts.
为什么呢
Why would you do that?
我的直觉告诉我 你有事瞒着我
My gut's telling me something's going on with you,
我想知道究竟是什么事
and I was just trying to figure out what it is.
没什么事
Nothing's going on.
我听到你在浴室哭了
I heard you crying in the bathroom.
那是正常人会做的正常的事
That's a normal thing that normal people do.
做♥爱♥的时候你睡着了
You fell asleep during sex.
我就是休息了一会儿
I was taking a little rest.
所以你没什么事
Okay, so you're saying nothing's wrong
是我想太多
and I'm just being paranoid?
是 -行
Yes. - Okay.
不是
No.
所以你承认 你有事
So you admit there's something wrong?
不是
No.
是
Yes.
行了 娜特 你...
Okay, Nat, can you...
你能不能把海绵放下 看着我
can you put the fucking sponge down and just look at me?
好
Okay, fine.
我有事
Something's going on,
但我不想有事
but I don't want something to be going on.
我看得出来 但我是你的
I can see that, but I'm your person,
你遇到什么事
and if you're going through something,
都应该告诉我
you kind of have to tell me.
我也想 只是...
I want to. I'm just...
不知道告诉了你 你会作何反应
I'm afraid of what you'll think of me if I tell you.
好
Okay.
好了
All right.
我就保持这种平静的表情
I will keep a totally neutral face, like this.
什么事
What is it?
就是我... 好像...
Okay, I... I think I'm...
是多元恋
polyamorous.
我很久以来都觉得自己是这样
It's something that I thought I might be for a long time,
只是我一直抗拒
and then I just denied it, you know?
在压抑
Pushed it down.
出柜已经够难了
I mean, coming out as gay was hard enough.
你看起来不平静
You don't look neutral.
我的感觉也不平静
I don't feel neutral.
艾丽丝... -你来上我的节目
Alice... - You came on my show
跟我说你爱我 只爱我
and you told me you loved me, and only me.
我爱你 非常爱你
I do. I love you so much.
这句话是真的 -那是我还不够吗
That part was true. - What, but I'm not enough?
天哪 你够好了
My God. Of course you're enough.
不是这样的
It's-it's not like that.
我太沉迷工作了吗
Do I work too much?
你希望我少工作一些吗 -不 不是这样的
Do you want me to work less? - No, no. It's none of that.
真的跟你没有关系
It-it truly has nothing to do with you.
这才是真的我
It's-it's really me.
行了 行了
Okay. Okay.
这就跟你是双性恋一样
It's no different than you being bi.
什么 -我是多元恋 你是双性恋
What? - Yeah. I'm poly and you're bi.
根本不一样
That is not the same!
就是一样的
It's actually exactly the same.
这都是我们需要去探索的部分
It's parts of our identities that need to be explored.
我不想跟男人在一起
I don't want to be with a guy!
你小声点 孩子都睡了
Would you be quiet? The kids are sleeping.
我根本不会想男人 -是吗
I don't even think about guys. - You don't?
是 我想... -从不想男人
N-No. I think about... - Never think about guys.
我想的是你 -我也会想着你
I think about you. - And I think about you, too.
是 但也还要想着别人吧
Yeah, and everybody else, apparently.
如果我能不这样 我也愿意
If I could be any other way, I would be.
可你做不到吗
But you can't be?
是
No.
这个问题会一直横在我们中间
This is always gonna be a thing between us
除非能找到解决的办法
unless we can find a way to work through it.
要是找不到呢
And if we can't?
浓缩咖啡机
An espresso machine.
我一直想要一个呢
I always wanted one of these.
妈 放下 这些东西我们都不能留
Put it down, Ma. We're not keeping any of that stuff.
等等
Wait!
等一下
Wait.
我只是来把你的东西还给你
I just wanted to give you back your, your thing.
谢谢你妈妈做给我吃 很好吃
And thank your mom for making it for me. It was delicious.
你想进来 亲自谢谢她吗
Do you want to come in and-and thank her yourself?
不行
I can't.
我一直在回想当时的情境
I keep replaying what happened in my mind
我在想... -我知道... 我知道
a-and wondering... - I know... I know.
这是你希望的吗
Is that what you wanted to happen?
什么 不是 -你觉得这样浪漫吗
What? No. - Did you think it was romantic?
芬利把你迷得神魂颠倒吗
Did Finley sweep you off your feet?
不是的
No. No.
因为我觉得好他妈丢脸
Okay, because it was so fucking humiliating for me.
我感觉再也没脸见那些人了
Like, I feel like I can't see any of those people ever again.
那晚我抱着你 是不是
I was holding you that night, wasn't I?
什么时候 -你跟她在一起的那晚
When? - The night you were with her.
你在床上哭 我抱着你
You were crying in bed and I held you.
对吗
Am I right?
我从来没想过
You know, the thought of losing you
有一天要面对失去你这件事
wasn't something I thought I'd ever have to face.
你不用面对
You don't have to.
我错了
I fucked up.
是我不好
I fucked up.
可我愿意用余生的每一天来补偿你
But I will spend every single day for the rest of my life making it up to you.
我保证
I promise.
跟我回家吧
Just come home with me.
我也希望
I wish I could,
可我做不到 -可我们...
but I can't. - But we can...
我了解自己 -我们去心理治疗...
I know myself. - We can go to therapy...
不 没用的 -我们可以
No. It's-it's not gonna help. - We can, we can,
慢慢来...
just slow things down...
我再也不能相信你了
I will never be able to trust you again.
你懂这是什么意思吗
Do you understand what that means?
我要走了
I got to go.
是谁
Who is it?
丹妮
It's Dani.
我正准备打给你
I was just gonna call you.
会没事的
It's gonna be okay.
靠
Shit.
对不起 我以为你会住在你妈妈家
I'm sorry, I thought you were staying at your mom's.
迈卡让我在里屋借住一晚
Micah's letting me, crash in the back room.
我喜欢 像个小牢房♥
I love it. It's like a little prison.
感觉很适合现在的我 所以...
Feels pretty fitting for me at the moment, so...
我也来一碗
I'll, have a bowl, too.
冠军的晚餐啊
Dinner of champions.
对不起
I'm sorry.
对不起 破坏了你的生活
Really sorry I fucked up your life,
很显然我搞砸了
if that hasn't been totally clear.
你没有
You didn't.
都是我的错
It was all my fault.
我明天一早就离开这里
I'm gonna be out of here first thing in the morning.
麦片我也会买♥♥好
And I'll replace the cereal.
整盒都差不多被我吃了...
Pretty much crushed this entire box, so...
别走
Don't go.
别走
Don't go?
我希望你留下
I want you to stay.
晚安
Good night.