外星人（2016）

Pretty low criteria then, which is good.
一般交了赎金 多久放人
What's a normal amount of time to wait for a hostage after you've given over ransom money?
她肯定出了什么事
Something must have happened to her.
你确定现在适合干这个吗
You sure this is the best time for that?
也许她被困在了哪里 也许她给我们留了信息
Maybe she's stuck somewhere. Maybe she left us a message.

啊 妈的
Ah, shit!
屏幕这里凹了一块 没关系
Small crack in the screen there, it doesn't matter.
你知道吗 我觉得她私吞了这笔钱
You know, I think she's taken that money for herself.
我们已经陷入了我们无法控制的困局
We have been sucked in to something where we are way out of our depth.
不要用约会的调调对我说话
Would you stop talking to me like we're on a date?
15分钟后我姐姐就要被肢解谋杀了
15 minutes from now someone is going to murder my sister by dismembering her.
这不是一个约会场景 对吧
It's not a date situation, is it?
我知道这不是一个约会场景
I know it's not a date situation.
实际上这个钟慢了15分钟
Actually that clock's 15 minutes slow.
我回家要怎么跟我爸交代啊
How am I going to go home and tell dad this happened?
说不出口啊 是不是
I can't, how can I?
我的余生就要被困在这里了
I'm going to be stuck in this place for the rest of my life.
倒也不错哦
Wouldn't be such a bad thing.
你知道吗 你可以睡在我的床上
You know, you could sleep in my bed.
我们可以谈笑风生
Honestly, we'd have such a laugh!
不是在床上 显然的 必须的
Not in bed, obviously, necessarily.
这里应该有备用钥匙
There's spare keys here somewhere.
不 我不会搬来和你住的
No! None of this has been leading up to me moving in with you.
你不会有任何不适应的
You wouldn't be out of place.
你不会感到格格不入的 不会的 知道吗
You would not be out of place. Would you, you know?
我一直在观察你
I've been watching you.
- 我知道 - 你知道什么
- I know. - What do you know?
你真正是什么样的人 没关系的
What you are. It's OK.
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
说出来会好受些
You'll feel better if you just said it.
只要说出那几个字 只要说
You know, just say the words. Just say...
- "我是同性恋" - 我是半个外星人
- "I'm gay." - I'm half alien.
- 我不是同性恋 - 我也不是
- I'm not gay. - Neither am I.
我看到你有次洗澡半"立"起来了
I thought I saw you semi-erect once in the shower
可能是我过度解读了 但是 天啊
and maybe I'm reading too much into it. But, oh, my God!
我的天啊
Oh, my God!
- 但我以为这不可能啊 - 我也以为
- But I thought that was impossible. - So did I.
但我真的是
Turns out not.
你是基因变异
You're a genetic leap!
我不想基因变异
I don't want to be a genetic leap.
确实 但没办法
Sure, but still
你说出来肯定感觉很好受多了
I bet it feels better now that you've got it said.
- 我觉得很恶心 - 好吧
- It feels disgusting. - Right.
我妈留下的一堆烂摊子
The shit that mums get away with.
她让我坐下告诉我我是特别的
She sat me down and she told me I was special.
我不是特别的 我他妈就是个默克
I'm not special, am I? I'm a fucking mork!
最糟的是我能感受到那种吸引力
The worst part is I can feel this attraction.
对男生还是女生
Is it a boy attraction or a girl attraction?
- 跟这有什么关系 - 不 没有关系
- How did that even come into it? - No, it wouldn't.
如果有人闯进我屋
If someone comes in the
发现我在让山羊给我口♥交♥
room and I'm getting a blow job off a goat,
他们的第一反应不会是
their first reaction's not going to be,
"母山羊还是公山羊 Lew"
"Is that a nanny goat, or a billy goat you got there, Lew?"
他们肯定问"你为什么把鸡鸡放山羊嘴里"
I bet, "Why have you got your penis in a goat's mouth?"
这才是正常的第一反应
is going to come up first.
- 鸡鸡在山羊嘴里 - 对
- Penis in a goat's mouth, yeah. - Yeah.
外星人吸引力 好吗
Alien attraction, OK?
我认得这个日落
I know that sunset.
你认得一个日落
You know a sunset?
那个情♥色♥网站 Holly在那里
It's from the cam girl site, Holly's in there.
一直以来 他们是你的邻居
All this time they're your neighbours.
对哦
Oh, yeah!
干嘛 又不是那种请我去烧烤的邻居
What? It's not like they invite me to their barbecues.
糟了 他们要杀她 怎么办 怎么办
Shit, they're going to kill her! What do we do?! What do we do?!
我们把她带回来
We get her back.
我们会没事的
We should be OK.
那个女的带着所有的钱走了
The girl's gone, she's run off with the money.
他们两个人 我们也两个人
Two of them, two of us.
- 我永远不会忘了你 - 什么
- I'll never forget you. - What?
- 没事 听着 把他们一直留在外面 - 但是怎么做
- Nothing, look, just keep them outside. - But how?
看着我 你是最棒的 好吗
Look at me. You're spectacular, OK?
你这么聪明机智
You've so many resources.
你会遇上好事儿的
Something good will come to you.
你可以出来一下吗
Can you come outside, please?
干什么
What for?
因为你赢了比赛 如果你现在出来
Because you've won a competition and if you come outside now,
- 你可以拿到你的奖品 - 是什么
- you can claim your prize. - What is it?
一辆车
It's a car.
Chris 有个家伙说我们赢了一辆车
Chris! Bloke says we've won a car.
我们赢了一辆车
We've won a car.
对
Yeah.
是辆福特 福特福克斯 你只要来
It's a Ford, Ford Focus and if you come...
事情是这样的 我要展示给你们看
The thing is, I have to show you.
只用一小会儿 来吧
So it will only take a second, so...
对 柴油版
Yep, diesel.
快来 不不不不 这边
Come on. No, no, no, this way.
往前走
Faces forward.
我是来救你的
I'm saving you.
呃 好的 呃
Er, OK, er...
恭喜
Congratulations!
钥匙在哪里
Where's the keys?
钥匙 呃 因为这不是真的
Keys... Nah, cos this isn't actually the...
这个不是奖品 奖品车在拐角处
This isn't the prize car, the prize car is round the corner.
那是辆 是辆可爱的
It's a... It's a lovely baby...
蓝色的车
It's a blue colour, it is.
我要去拿棒球棒了
I'm going to fetch my baseball bat.
不要这么做 兄弟 不要这么做 兄弟
Oh, don't do that, mate. Don't do that, mate.
一分钟 等着
One minute! Just hang on.
Chris Chris 我赢了那辆车吗
Chris, Chris, have I won the car?
猜猜我是谁
Guess who I am?
我是你死前看到的最后画面
I'm the last thing you see before you die.
我就是最终点 哥们
I'm Final Destination, pal.
我是死神
I'm death.
- 你好 - 你好
- Hello. - Hello.
天啊 我真的很讨厌听到你的声音 动手啊
God, I'm sick of hearing your voice. Get on with it.
- 杀了我们 - 我完全不这么认为
- Kill us! - I don't feel that way at all!
- 我也不 - 你在等什么 你个默克娘炮
- Me neither. - What are you waiting for, you Mork twat?
我们带了钱来 Holly 闭上你的臭嘴
Look, we brought the money! Holly, shut the fuck up.
- 那拿来啊 - 我们给了她
- Come on, then. - We gave it to her.
我保证 我给了她
I promise you, we gave it to her.
- 我们真的给了 - 不 听着
- We really did. - No, listen.
我们真的给了 我保证
We had it, yeah? I promise you.
我们试过给她 但她跑了
We tried to give it to her, but she ran away
然后一些家伙过来 带着武器 是台球杆
and then these guys came with weapons, they were pool cues,
他们抢走了我的钱
and they got it off us.
但是 然后 她 她抢了他们
But then she, she got it off them
她说她会回来 但是没有
and she said she'd come back, but she never did.
她拿走了钱 她一直瞒着你
She's got the money. She's holding out on you.
我为什么要瞒着你
Why would I hold out on you?
你是 Christophe啊
You're Christophe.
啊
Argh!
你的谎言被拆穿了 朋友
You just got caught out in your lie, pal.
这算哪门子拆穿啊
How is that getting caught out?
- 这算哪门子拆穿 - 听到了吗
- How is that caught out?! - You heard.
听到了吗 我是Christophe
You heard. I'm Christophe.
Christophe 对 Christophe
Christophe, yeah, Christophe.
他的名字
That's his name.
我们来点慢慢的 极度疼痛的玩法
Right, we're going to do this slow and abominably painful, yeah?
残忍♥到 足以让寂静帮在江湖上声名远播
Something so nasty that it puts Silence Crew on the map,
让那些臭傻♥逼♥不敢惹我们
for being fuckers that you don't want to mess with.