疯城记（2009）

Previously on Psychoville...
《疯城记》前情提要
This is Freddy. It's only a doll.
这是弗雷迪 不过是个玩偶
Not for much longer.
就快不是了
This whole collection has taken me years to amass.
这些收藏花我了多年的心血
How many more do you need? Just the one, Tealeaf.
你还差多少 只差一个 小毛贼
I have this...
我有个...
this fantasy.
有个幻想
I hope...
我希望...
That is so funny!
这实在太搞笑了
I did a bad murder.
我搞砸了一桩谋杀
Can you put me through to the police...
请给我接通警♥察♥...
Happy with that, Graham? Being drowned?
这法子满意吗 格雷汉姆 遇溺身亡
Go and fill a bath, David.
去给浴缸放满水 戴维
Trevor, Mr Jolly's here!
特雷弗 开心果先生来了
Jelly! I'm Mr Jelly!
是果冻 我是果冻先生
But they don't know!
但他们不知道真♥相♥
They don't know what he did to me.
他们不知道他对我做了什么
Place the prisoner in the dock.
将囚犯押上被告席
Clown Court is now in session.
小丑法庭现在开庭
All rise for Judge Pennywise.
全体起立 有请潘尼维斯法官
Mr Jelly,
果冻先生
you stand accused of bringing clowning into disrepute.
你被指控让小丑界蒙羞
How do you plead? Not guilty!
你作何抗辩 我无罪
Silence in court, the Judge is dead!
肃静 法官已死
Somebody trumped up and blew off his head!
谁敢无中生有 就爆他头
Exhibit A, m'lud.
1号♥证物 陛下
I know what you did!
我知道你做过什么
You killed her, didn't you?
你杀了她 就是你
What? I didn't kill anyone! Silence!
什么 我可没杀人 肃静
Anything from the defence?
辩方作何辩解
Your request has been noted.
你的请求已记录在案
Call your first witness.
传一号♥证人
The prosecution calls
起诉方传唤
Mr Jolly!
开心果先生
Mr Jolly? Yes, Your Honour.
开心果先生 在 法官大人
Can you tell us in your own words what exactly the accused
能否将被告对你的所作所为向在座各位
did to you?
描述一下
Mr Jelly stole my act.
果冻先生剽窃我的戏法
Liar! He stole my act!
骗子 是他剽窃我
Silence in the courtyard! Silence in the street!
法庭内请肃静 大街上请肃静
The biggest twit in England is just about to speak!
英格兰第一傻蛋有话要说
Starting frooooooooooooooooooooom...
马 马 马 马 马上
now.
开始
But I didn't do anything!
我什么也没干
Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!
罪名成立 有罪 有罪
Off with his hand!
砍了他的手
Off with his hand!
砍了他的手
Off with his hand!
砍了他的手
Off with his hand!
砍了他的手
Off with his hand!
砍了他的手
Off with his hand!
砍了他的手
Off with his hand!
砍了他的手
Off with his hand!
砍了他的手
Off with his hand! It wasn't me!
砍了他的手 不是我
I didn't do anything!
我什么也没干
It wasn't me! I never killed anyone!
不是我 我没杀人
Please! Please!
求你们了
I can't play it!
我放不了
I've only got DVD.
我只有DVD机
I've not had tapes since Shawshank Redemption.
自打《肖申克的救赎》以后我就不看录像带了
Now, this is what we midwives call a birthing pool.
这就是我们助产士所说的分娩池
It's become quite faddish of late
最近它在时髦的年轻夫妇间
amongst trendy young couples
也十分流行
like yourselves.
比如你们
They roll around on space hoppers,
他们会坐着弹跳球打滚
listening to DVBs of dolphin music and
听着数字视频广播中的海豚音
burning those candles that smell of Germolene.
点着味道像消炎药膏的香薰烛
But in my experience,
但依我之见
when you feel the stab of that first contraction,
当你经受过第一次宫缩的阵痛之后
you're gonna beg to be brought onto the ward
你就会求着嚷着要住院卧床
flat on your back and numb from the neck down.
才明白四肢麻木地躺着是件美事儿
Isn't it more comforting for the baby
可对于刚出子♥宫♥的小宝宝来说
to pass from the womb into an environment
进入一个同样温暖湿润的环境中
which is also warm and wet?
不是会更感舒适吗
Less stressful?
更无忧吧
I see that Dr Miriam Stoppard has snuck back in.
看来你又给米丽亚姆·斯托帕德博士附体了
Hello Miriam, how's Tom?
你好 米丽亚姆 汤姆还好吗
Oh, no, sorry, of course, he left you,
不对 太遗憾了 他把你甩了
didn't he, for Felicity Kendall?
对不对 去找菲丽西提·肯德尔了
If what you're actually asking is,
如果说你是想问
"Joy, will a water birth stop it from hurting?",
"乔伊 水下生产能否消除痛苦呢"
well, I'm afraid my answer would have to be no, it won't,
那么 我恐怕得给出否定答案:不会
because you don't get one of these without a lot of pain.
因为没有痛苦 哪来收获
And believe me, mums and dads,
而且相信我 爸爸妈妈们
I know pain. What's this for, then?
我懂痛苦 这是干嘛用的
Do you catch the baby in it?
用来捞小宝宝的吗
There's one that got away!
又有一个要出来了
Come in, number three, your time's up!
三号♥ 快过来 你是时候上水了
No, that's what we call the Stink Net.
不是 那其实是胎粪网
If you're pushing down with all your might,
一旦你使尽浑身力气分娩
a baby isn't the only thing that'll pop out.
出来的可不止是小宝宝而已
So Dad,
爸爸
if you allow your partner to choose a water birth,
要是你允许伴侣选择水下生产
it will be your job to scoop out all the tots.
这捞粪的活儿可就归你了
Excuse me.
抱歉
Joy, your husband's on the phone.
乔伊 你丈夫来电♥话♥了
He wants you to come home straight away.
他要你马上赶回家
I can take over here if you like.
你愿意的话我可以替你
No, thank you, Nicola. I think we're done. Thank you.
不用了 妮古拉 已经讲完了 谢谢
David, stop playing with your food.
戴维 别把吃的当玩具
Don't want it.
我不想吃
Come on, it's good sausage, is that.
快点 这香肠不错 尝尝
What's the matter? Is it too big?
怎么了 太大了吗
Need it mushing up?
要弄碎点吗
"Police want to question
"警方将传讯所有
anyone who saw Graham Whittaker on the day he died."
在格雷汉姆·惠特克死亡当天见过他的人"
Here, try that.
来 尝尝
That better?
好点没
Poor Graham.
可怜的格雷汉姆
Flat as a pancake. Do you mind? I'm eating a pancake.
压扁成煎饼了 注意说话 我在吃煎饼呢
We should count ourselves lucky he went under that bus,
算咱们走运 后来他被公交车碾了
or else he'd have gone to the police.
否则他就去报♥警♥了
Did anyone else apart from him see you do that murder?
除了他还有谁看见你那场谋杀了
Him, him and her.
他 他还有她
That's three more witnesses we've got to get rid of.
我们还要多除掉三个目击者
Plus the two you've already killed. That makes five!
加上已经死翘翘的两个 一共五个
Can we not do six?
咱就不能杀六个人吗
Why?
为什么
Six makes us proper serial killers. Five's just mass murder.
杀够六个就算连环杀手了 五个只算刽子手
You're never satisfied, are you, David?
你怎么要求那么多 戴维
I don't know what we'll have to see on the day
我也不知道当天会遇到些什么人
if there's anyone else knocking about.
要是有人自动送上门再说吧
Come on, finish your sausage, we've got work to do.
好了 把香肠吃掉 咱有活儿要干
David.
戴维
Don't be disgusting!
别那么恶心
Use your fork.
用叉子
It's not in here,
不在这里
it's not in his bedroom and it's not in the loft.
不在他房♥间里 也不在阁楼里
Then I don't know where it is. Karen, please listen to me!
那我就不知道在哪了 凯伦 听我说
We've got people offering us thousands of pounds
现在有人开出天价要买♥♥我们的